Sunday, November 23, 2008

Pot Refuses to Dance with Kettle

"I have to agree with come across as really judgmental and need to get over yourself. Everything you write is with such a negative outlook or criticizing someone or something. It makes you sound like you're constantly a victim and the whole world is against you. Your blog is basically a daily pity party for yourself.

Give the teenager a break for crying out loud. Were you never a kid in love? Did you never do stupid stuff? You write as if you think you're perfect and everyone else is wrong. And don't tell me to stop reading your blog. I will continue to do's like my little form of self torture. I have hope for you though because I always think...maybe...just maybe...she'll write something positive for once in her life."

Some of you may have read Anonymous’ little comment from the other day. Along with her follow-up response to Sassy Two Socks. I know many other Bloggers wonder how, if at all, to respond to negative Anonymous comment leavers (i'm sorry but including your name without a link is STILL anonymous). Calling attention to them may some how give them a sense of validation. If it helps them feel better about themselves, I’m happy to help. Plus, you know, it gives me something to write about.

I do feel the need to clarify or counter point a few things.

1) I am judgmental. And so are you (pot? kettle?) and so is just about everyone else in the world. From a few small snips of my life you have decided that I have a negative outlook, do nothing but criticize and that I feel I am a victim where the whole world is against me. Truly, profound of you. Nonetheless, incorrect. I’m not sure how sharing things that happen to me is asking for pity. I’m simply telling a story by sharing my thoughts and feelings. I know that I am a small fish in a world wide pond, and certainly don’t have the narcissism required to think the world gives two shakes about me. (I realize that statement right there may sound like I’m looking for pity, I’m not. I’m stating the truth. No pity involved/needed.)

2) I have never in my life thought I was a victim. Oh, wait, I’ll take that back. When I was in middle school playing at an away game someone came into the guest locker room while we were out on the floor and stole our entire teams’ jewelry. That time I and 11 other girls were victims of someone’s greed and meanness. So wow, yeah, I guess I am a victim. Maybe I never recovered from that incident and have carried it with me into my adult life and let it affect every aspect of it! (it’s called sarcasm, look it up.)

3) I have done stupid stuff, like allowing Anonymous comments (if anyone can tell me, can you block those?) (I’m asking for help, not pity, just clarifying) Drank til I puked at a frat house in the trash can they were using to collect empty cans.(embarrassing) Mixed my liquor with beer. (very bad idea) However, I have NEVER chased after a boy who very clearly did not want my affection. I was raised by my parents, and most especially my older sisters and brother to respect myself. When it involves the opposite sex, you don’t waste your time, emotions, heart, and dignity on someone who treats you like dirt. I learned this lesson long before I was ever a teenager. This is the lesson I wanted to share with Towel Girl(she was in a public area, therefore she was making HER business MINE and everyone else's business). And yes, I made a JUDGMENT from her behavior (have I never mentioned I have a psych degree? No? Well I DO.) that she might need something a bit more attention grabbing than a sweaty 30something walking up to her and telling her boys are stupid and to not waste her time. Hence the smacking.

4) I know I’m not perfect. I believe I’ve even said so, somewhere in my Blog. If not, I'll say it now, for the record, I am not perfect, never claimed to be, never expect to be because only GOD is perfect. And I don’t believe EVERYONE is wrong, just a very large portion of everyone.

5) I was unaware that stating that I love my mother, my husband, my siblings and my friends was negative. Or telling people to vote is negative. Or telling people it’s wrong to lie is negative. Or sharing how touched I was by my mom giving me my something blue to wear is negative. Or telling people that their zipper is wide open in public is negative. Or getting angry about tainted formula and dying babies is negative. Although I suppose anger can be viewed as negative, so you're right maybe I should have not said anything about innocent babies being killed by money hungry bastards. (oops! again with the negative! silly me.) Or sharing my embarrassment over melted cheese burning my boob is negative. But I could be wrong. Or maybe the personality test is wrong. Or maybe you just don’t get my sarcasm and humor. Actually, that last one is not a maybe, it's a reality.

6) You’re bossy. Telling me what I can and can not do concerning, um, MY OWN BLOG. Wow. Self important much? I also find it extremely telling that you don't give myself and what readers I may have a chance to peruse your blog, assuming you have one, because you commented ANONYMOUSLY. Hence shielding yourself from the same sort of negative comments you so freely leave here.
And yes, the name of MY Blog isn't Unicorns and Flowers, or Cotton Balls and Bunnies. It's about how being an adult can suck. Sometimes it sucks more than others. Sometimes, it doesn't suck at all. Usually though, the stuff that sucks is the most entertaining.

7) I think you might be a bit of a masochist. I mean seriously, “…'s like my little form of self torture.” Falls right in with the definition: gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.
And since I’m not a sadist, I AM going to tell you to STOP reading my Blog. I don’t want to give you an easy way to indulge your masochist tendencies.
I will never understand why anyone would continue to read something they don't like. Why? Why would you do it? It makes absolutely no sense what so ever. Unless it was required for a class or something. There have been Blogs that I quit reading because I didn't care for their content. It IS a choice. Don't blame me for the choice you make in reading my Blog.

8) So maybe, just'll get it that I'm not posting to please you, or anyone else for matter.



SassyTwoSocks said...

You tell it, girl! It's a shame that this person made you feel like you needed to explain all this, but it turned out to be a great post! Maybe my comments will spark a nasty comment on my blog and I'll have some good material too! My nasty comments would probably look something like this:

"Does she have nothing to post but stupid stories and LOLcats?"

"Does she seriously think that people want to read about her cats all the time?"

"This girl is an attention-loving whore who is just trying to be the next The Blogess." (completely true)

Anonymous said...

Dear lord. I'm sorry that you felt the need to write a long post about this. I don't want to fight over the internet through your comment section with you or anyone else for that matter. All I wanted to do was point out that your life probably isn't as bad as you portray it to be quite often. And you seem to be so easily annoyed by minute things. Again, I never once told you what you can and can't write on your own blog. I'm not even going to address anything you wrote really because it's just not worth it.

For the record though, I don't have a blog and hence have no link to leave.

April said...

I realize this is not my fight, but I just wanted to bring up my point of view as a third party and thought maybe I could help shed a different light on things.

I don't finish reading your posts thinking you are overly negative, judgmental or critical. I think you are just a girl, expressing her thoughts, her opinions, her frustrations, her observations. They might not always be positive, but that's okay. You are human. And since you are anonymous in your blog, it is my personal opinion that this is your place to vent. To voice those frustrations and observations. There is nothing wrong with that.

We read tiny snippets of your life. We can't judge the woman you are based on a tiny snippet. Just like it would be wrong for me or anyone else to judge Adrienne based on her comment on your last post.

You are writing for yourself. No one is forcing anyone to read it. Don't let the comments and opinions of one person affect you. This is the beauty of having a blog. It's your little world to say what you want, share what you want. This space is yours.

♥ Braja said...

Don't worry Sass: I post lolcats too. It don't make you stupid :)

I don't think you need to explain yourself either. But you did. And it was long. REALLY long!! I hope it helped you sort out what seemed to be a bit of a tangle of emotions on how you felt about something. I hope this is coming out right...I guess what I'm saying is, "don't shoot the messenger." (Was it Adrienne who commented initially?) Sometimes when we're "poked," it brings out stuff we didn't know we had to bring out. It's all good...

KMcJoseph said...

Great post! I'm going to have to read more.