Thursday, July 31, 2008

Bless Me

Lord, please forgive me for what I'm about to say.........

Our organist? The guy that's going to play at our wedding? The guy that is the music teacher at the school associated with our Church? The guy who is Doctor instead of Mister? Has really nasty teeth.
I'm talking, gag me with a pitchfork nasty.
I'm talking, I don't think I can sit/stand across from him during our music meeting and look him in the face.
They are gray.
They are rat-like.
They are hideous.
They are in need of a dental intervention.
They are beyond Crest Whitening Strips. (which is what F and I are using to prepare for the Big Day.)
I'm not sure Davinci veneers would even help.
How can you be a Doctor and have gray teeth? I don't get it!!!!!!
I'm getting ill just thinking about them!!!
How I can I stop myself from staring?????

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Dots On My Mind

April mentioned how many Dots I have over there----> on Cluster Map. I LOVE IT!!!! Shout out to all the peeps who visit me on a regular basis! And I know there are a lot of you who stop by, gander about and then take off without commenting. That's ok. I still know you exist. But I do have to say, Cluster Map is a tad misleading. over there ------> it looks like I done blowed up all over the world. The Dots over lap and intersect!!!! But once you hit up the full verison of Cluster Map, yeah, not so much. Canada? What up? Not lovin on the American Blog circuit? Russia? China? Am I expecting too much?
What I want to know is who are you people Site Meter says are "Unknown" Countries?? And HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY to Trinidad and Tobago!!!! I love that places to me that are so far far far away are reading me!!!!! And this little pie changes everyday! It's so much fun!!!!
So bring on the Dots!!!!! The more slices to this pie, the better!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Not Here

We all have plans in our lives. Things we want to do, people we want to be, but often times we don't end up there because plans change, or just don't happen.
I'm finding myself there now.
"There" as in not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life.
When I started this Blog I intended for it to be about my being a single woman who was a first time homeowner. However, since I met F two weeks after signing the mortgage, it's taken a decidedly different turn. Which is fine, by me anyway. I'm not sure if I fully chronicled my home owning or not. I think there may be a few entries about it in the beginning. I saved up for a down payment when I, in all honesty, should have been paying off credit card debt.
But I didn't.
Now I'm faced with ever mounting debt and no sale of my home in sight. Getting rid of the house would be a huge release of funds each month, as any of you with mortgages can testify to.
After we got engaged, I moved in with F. As it stands now? I'm a kept woman. I pay all the bills related to myself. My mortgage. My gas. My electric. My water. My car. My insurance. My massive amount of credit card debt. We trade off buying groceries, but he pays mortgage on "our" house. The gas. The electric. The water. The taxes. The insurance. The cable. The Internet. The wedding.
I hate it.
I hate every minute of it. Every minute of him paying for the cable. Every minute of him keeping a roof over my head. I hate not having the funds to contribute to the wedding. I hate feeling like I have to ask to turn the a/c on. I hate running the dishwasher because I know it adds to the water bill. Or taking more than one shower a day, because it adds to the water bill. I hate the stupid bickering we do over turning off the lights in the room that you'll be returning to in 2 mins anyway.
This is NOT where I'm suppose to be.
I'm suppose to be self sufficient. Self supporting.
I have a job after all. A good job, with good benefits.
And yet, here I am. In debt. And yes, I KNOW it's my own fault. I know I spent too many weekends buying shoes, and make-up and clothes and whatever else I felt I HAD TO HAVE. And now I'm paying for it. At 11% interest. Or 18%. Or 25%. It all depends on what credit card you're looking at. I know it's my fault. I get it.
I also get that it's become a vicious circle. I have to charge gas in order to get to work. Which just adds to the total. But I have to work in order to pay the credit card. I can't get ahead.
And this weekend, it all came to a head.
F is as hot to get rid of the house as I am. But he's willing to put my credit score in the toilet if need be. As much as I owe, I pay on time, so I still have a good rating. This route he wants to take would kill that in one strike of the pen. I realize he's trying to reduce the debt that will become combined once we get married. But I don't see that this route is the best.
And it makes me sick to my stomach to realize where I've ended up.
And it makes me on the verge of tears every minute of the day.
I screwed up my finances and I know it.
And I hate it.
And I don't know what to do about it.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Dangerous Waters

Have you ever been in the position of knowing your friend is doing something really wrong but you don’t know what to do about it? How much you should interfere? I’m in that position. Sailor Mouth is doing something she knows she shouldn’t be doing, and I know she shouldn’t be doing and I just don’t know what to do about it.
Sailor Mouth is having martial problems. She and her husband work opposite shifts, so they hardly see each other. And from what she tells me, he doesn’t help out around the house when he is home, which many of us experience in our own lives. They are constantly fighting and disagreeing and then she tells me he’s accused her of cheating. At which point I said, “W.T.H? Like when do you have time????”
Now let me back up a bit here. Right before Sailor Mouth and her husband got married, he cheated on her.
With his best friend’s wife.
Who is ugly.
Really, she is.
Anyway, Sailor Mouth obviously forgave him and they got married.(and the best friend was the best man at the wedding!!!!! Talk about awkward!) Now S.M. Husband has reason to suspect Sailor Mouth of cheating in some form or other.
I found out very recently, that he has extremely GOOD reason to suspect this.
Remember when I told you I talked Sailor Mouth out of a bad relationship? It took me several years but it was a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship. So now? She’s back in contact with this guy. And S.M. Husband knows she’s been contacted by this guy. But I think HE thinks that it’s not on going. Which it apparently is. So when she complained that her husband was checking her cell phone I asked her if he had cause, she didn’t really answer, but said she had to delete messages from certain people. So I told her, she was treading in some seriously deep water with that. “I know.”
Really? Is that REALLY the kind of life you want to lead? Having an emotional affair with an ex? I’m assuming it’s emotional because he’s several thousand miles away, at this point. I think it’s wrong. And part of me wants to tell S.M. Husband that Sailor Mouth is in contact with this guy on what appears to be a regular basis.
I won’t do it. I can’t rat on a friend like that. Especially because I don’t know the full extent of what the “relationship” is. Is it just flirty phone messages? Flirty text messages? Just plain old messages? Whatever it is, she knows it’s wrong, or else she wouldn’t be hiding it from S.M. Husband.
There is some stuff I just don’t want to know, ya know?????
Have any of you been in a situation like this? What, if anything, did you do??

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Product Placement

For the last few weeks I’ve been using this hair care product.
It is NOT hair spray as I had thought. It’s a version of Leave-in-conditioner. This certainly explains why my hair style just wasn’t holding. So now, I have to go out and purchase this.

I LOVE me some Aussie hair products. They smell good, and for those of us who have SUPER FINE hair, they don’t weigh it down. Plus + Plus. However, (you knew that was coming right?) I’m highly irritated that they’ve changed their product line. I don’t mind a bottle or logo re-designs, but when you start taking items away, we have a problem. They knew they did wrong, because on their website they had a section of: “If You used to use this …Now You’ll use This!” And they have “Collections” now. Ugh. I just want my hair spray back!!! Is that so much to ask? Should I REALLY have to go on your website before I go shopping in order to buy the proper product? I don’t have time for all that!

This little PSA on their site is a hoot though. Is that Sally Struthers doing the voice over? What? Aren’t there hungry children in the world anymore?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Take A Gander

Per a request from Mo2Lo, here are said invites! Ok, so you know these aren't my ACTUAL invites, but this is what they look like:

Very simple. But I think elegant. When I started looking at invites, I thought I'd be going more contemporary. But once I saw the invite in person, I decided that I'm really more traditional. Go figure. So Deckled Edge it is!! I just love the ripped edge look, I don't know why. Once the "Theme" item is incorporated it'll be very unique and very "us". And it was ordered online! Yep! A very cool site. And very reasonable, until you look at the price for programs!!!! holy goodness. So there you go. Our invites in all their pearl lined envelope glory. (for an extra $25 bucks!)

Monday, July 21, 2008

You Look Like A Monkey and Smell Like One Too

Morning of my Birthday:

F: “DH, I’m leaving, I’m late for work, bye hon *kiss*.”
Me: “Ok, be careful. *kiss* ” (at this point I’m still in bed.)
He leaves the house but then sticks his head back inside the side door and yells to me:
F: “Where are the bananas I bought the other day?”
Me: “Outside.”
F: “Outside???!!!! Where outside?”
Me: “On the table.”
F: “Why are they outside on the table?”
Me: “Because they were rotting and making my car smell.” (he’d taken my car and left the bananas in there, stinkin up the place.)

Realizing he’s late for work I let it slide that he failed to wish me a happy birthday.

I reach work and open several birthday e-cards from friends and family. I receive cards, and even PRESENTS from co-workers!

10:30 AM my cell rings, its F.

F: “Hey, how do you get to X from A?”

Me: “Um, take the expressway.”
F: “To where?”
Me: “I don’t know, I’m not sure where X is located in town.”
F: “Can you ask someone who would know?”
Me: “Yes. So you called me to ask me how to get to X?”
F: “Yep.”
Me: “Emm, and is that the ONLY reason you called?”
F: “Yeah.”
Me: “Emmmhmmmmph.”
F: * Silence* “OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DH!!!”
Me: “Uh, thanks.”

2:30 PM My cell rings, it’s my mother.
Mom: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY to YOOOOOOUUUUU!” (she sings the whole song)
Me: “THANKS MOM!!!!”
Mom: “The only reason I remember to call you is because your niece called me to ask if I was coming to visit her.” (my niece shares my birthday.)
Me: “Oh.”

What is that all about??? The 2 people who should remember my birthday completely blanked. What does it all mean??????????

Friday, July 18, 2008

mom's dress

My mother finally decided on a dress. Follow the link below, in sea foam.....

I'm going to admit that I wish it were a bit more fancy, but the color is awesome on her and she seemed so happy about it! So Thanks to everyone who offered suggestions on where she should shop. Draper's and Damon's is actually the place where the mother of the woman who is designing our wedding "theme" item got her dress! So a special thanks to her mom!!!


Now we just need F's mom to find something!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Pearl Lined Envelopes

I got an e-mail containing a tracking number, you know how I feel about tracking numbers. This is the BEST kind of tracking number because I didn't have to wait for the end result, because it already TOLD me what the end result was, DELIVERED.

Track Shipped Order

Tracking information provided by Shipped From:
Shipped To: DH's House, Midwest US

Weight: 9.70 LBS
Service Type: GROUND
Tracking Number:

Picked Up On: 07/15/2008
Scheduled Delivery On: 07/17/2008
Number of Packages: 1
Package #1 – In Transit
Tracking Number:

Weight: 9.70 LBS
Package Progress:

Date Time Location Activity
07/15/2008 9:42:00 P.M. BROCKTON, MA US ORIGIN SCAN
07/15/2008 10:46:00 P.M. BROCKTON, MA US DEPARTURE SCAN
07/16/2008 12:16:00 A.M. WARWICK, RI US ARRIVAL SCAN
07/16/2008 1:36:00 A.M. WARWICK, RI US LOCATION SCAN
07/16/2008 7:15:00 A.M. WARWICK, RI US DEPARTURE SCAN
07/16/2008 11:37:00 A.M. PARSIPPANY, NJ US ARRIVAL SCAN
07/16/2008 11:18:00 P.M. MAUMEE, OH US ARRIVAL SCAN
07/17/2008 12:57:00 A.M. MAUMEE, OH US LOCATION SCAN
07/17/2008 3:07:00 A.M. MAUMEE, OH US DEPARTURE SCAN
07/17/2008 4:29:00 A.M. DH’s Town, Midwest, US ARRIVAL SCAN
07/17/2008 6:50:00 A.M. DH’s Town, Midwest, US OUT FOR DELIVERY

NOTICE: UPS tracking systems and the information they contain are the private property of UPS and may be used solely to track shipments tendered by, to or for you to UPS for delivery and for no other purpose. Any other use of UPS tracking systems and information is strictly prohibited.
UPS®, UPS & Shield Design® and UNITED PARCEL SERVICE® are registered trademarks of United Parcel Service of America, Inc.

That's right people, OUR INVITES ARE WAITING FOR ME AT HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008


.....You don’t want to hear when approaching a Birthday:

“Do you need help with that Ma’am?” says the kindly cart boy as you are pushing your grocery cart out to the parking lot.

I’m not that old. I’m not a Ma’am. Although I do understand, and greatly appreciate, his manners. Just don’t call me Ma’am and offer to load my groceries like I’m some 80yr old woman.

Things you don’t want to happen on a hot day of shopping:

I’d just stopped at Costco to buy some chicken and get a slice of their yummy pizza and a pop. Did you know you can pay for the food court food in the regular line? Yep, just let them know and your need for Cash Only goes out the window. Then you just show your receipt to the food court person. Anyway, I slammed my slice and refilled my drink in order to continue my shopping spree at the local grocery store from above.

Thing 1) The pop cans in the trash bag that you didn’t tie shut have let loose all over the back end of the car and now with pop in hand you must re-bag a good 40 cans. Not cool.

Thing 2) After loading empty cans into the shopping cart and placing your just refilled pop in the cup holder on said cart you almost make it to the entrance of the grocery store when you hit a bump and your cool refreshing drink bounces out of the cup holder and onto the sidewalk below. Swearing ensues.

Thing 3) Standing in line you await your turn to unload your groceries when the entire family behind you starts pushing up on you, greatly reducing the space you have to unload your groceries onto the belt and hence you keep bumping into various family members as they crowd forward awaiting their turn to unload.
I hate when people do this. Surely you can see that the lady in front of me hasn’t left yet and there for there is NO WHERE for me TO GO. I’m not going to run her over just so you can put your TP on the belt. Back the hell up!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Dress Up

One of my bride’s maids called me. R said she wanted to let me know that the dress charge showed up on her credit card, so the dress was ordered.
Me: “Oh thank goodness! I was going to call her (dress shop lady) and ask, but she kinda scares me.”
R: “LOL! I know! I got the same feeling! Every time I called she was kind of mean, and rude. I finally said to her, LOOK! Can’t you just take my measurements over the phone!?!”
Me: “I know! Sailor Mouth got into it with her about that. Second Eldest was none too pleased either.”
R: “NO!”
Me: “Oh yeah. Sailor Mouth hit the roof when dress shop lady told her there was no way her e-mail bounced back.”
R: “Mine bounced back too! She must be giving out the wrong e-mail!”
Me: “Yours too! Oh goodness.”
R: “Oh wow. Well I’m sure it’s a good shop.”
Me: “No it’s not.”
R: “LOL. When the dress comes in, I’ll come down and go with you to pick them up.”
Me: “That’ll be nice.”

We had a good chuckle about it.
But the Dress Shop lady still scares me.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Panic Attacks: The Count Down

I showed F a printout of our invites, AFTER I’d already placed the order.

F: “Miss DH?”

ME: “Yeah, I’m not married yet.”

F: “Hmmm. Oh, THIS is WRONG!”


F: “This. It shouldn’t say Two thousand AND eight. It should just say Two thousand eight.”

ME: (panicked and horrified) “What? No, that’s right, its AND.”

F: “No it’s not. We were always taught that you only say AND if there’s a decimal point.”

Me: “No, that’s what the thing (website) said, it said AND. I’m sure of it.”

F: “That’s what it said?”

Me: (half heartedly): “Yeah.”

F: “Hmm, ok, if that’s what it said.”

ME: “Yep.”

Needless to say I ran in this morning and checked the website; “Listing the year is optional. If you choose to do so, it appears on the line following the day/date line. Only the first letter of the first word of the line is capitalized: "The year two thousand" or "Two thousand and nine."

PLUS I asked our office Wordsmith, and she said the formal written way is to use AND.

Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the phone call I got from one of my brides’ maids about the dresses………

Friday, July 11, 2008

Insert *Eye Roll* Here

On the phone with F:

ME: "I'm going to order our invites. Should I use my credit card or the AmEx?"

F: "What difference does it make? How much is it going to cost?"

ME: "About $300."

F: "WHOA! is that for....what?"

ME: "It's for 100 pieces, invites."

F: "So we're spending $300 to invite people to the wedding??!!?!?!?!?!"

ME: "Yes." (I wasn't about to tell him to add another $150 or so for postage.....mailing to the Home Land is extra extra too......)

F: "Can we just send them an e-invite??"

ME: "*sigh."

F: "I'm serious!! Just send out an e-mail."

Me: "NO. No,we can not send out e-mails, that wouldn't go over very well. Now which card should I use?"

F: "Fine. Use the AmEx."

ME: "Ok. Bye."

An e-vite? To OUR WEDDING!?!?!?! Now that's Klassy.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Oh Happy DAY!!

Last night while I was watching Ghost Hunters: International (girl’s gotta get her accent fix anyway she can!) F came in and informed me that he wants to go get tuxes this weekend AND look at WEDDING BANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sweet goodness!!! I am so excited!! So of course, I started shopping online. I wanted his band to match mine, with channel set princess cut diamonds. But I know F, and he’s not gonna want diamonds. So, I found some others that are more than a plain band, they have engraving or braiding as the site says. The site wouldn’t let me save the pics and when I tried copy and paste, I got nothing. So please follow the links:






Here are a few more I found on
6) This is kind of what I had in mind for him originally, but I don't like the carved part on top.
7) Is the "wood grain" look too cheesy?
8) I like this, but I'm betting he'd say it's too girlie, which, yeah ok, kinda is, and the raised part would probably bug him.
9) This is like the one above, without being quite so obvious.
10) This one is like the links from above, I really like the "braiding" it looks very manly, don't you think?
The choices for men's bands are pretty slim. Some are pretty heinous. But that's a whole other post!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Place An Order

My Birthday is coming up, SOON. Yay me! F is always complaining that he never knows what to get me for present giving events. So when I got a clothing magazine about 2 months ago, I folded down the page and showed F.
"This is what I want for my birthday. Not the yellow one please."

It sat on the nightstand for weeks. Once he even asked me what happened to it. It was under one of his hobby related magazines.
He finally decides to order it.

He calls me at work:
"What size?"

Then he calls me again:
"What color?"

When I got home:

"Sooo, I ordered your gift today."
"Um, I don't want to know that."

"What an ORDEAL THAT was!"
"You're not suppose to tell me this."

"First when I called, the lady called me MRS F! But I let that slide."
"Then she kept trying to sell me things on different pages! I kept telling her "Ma'am, no, please I just want to order this one thing!""
"*eye roll* Really, I don't want to know this."
"She wouldn't stop!"
"Why didn't you just order it online?"
"*blank look* I don't trust my computer. It has viruses."
"OOOOOOOk. Your work computer?"
"So $25.75 later I finish the order but then she tries to sell me something else!!! I'm never doing THAT again."
"*sigh* *head shake.* Thanks honey."
"No problem. *grin*"

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

3 Days of Stuff

First, since I forgot to do it before the weekend, HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY American readers!!(i know you non-Americans exist, cause clustrmap tells me so!) I love holidays that have been warped into drinking and eating fests with various forms of fire thrown in for good measure. Seriously though, I love me some 4th of July!!! Shout out to the founding old dead dudes that made the 4th more than just a day in July. For some of us anyway. Moving on......
F and I went to my Brother's for the 4th. My SIL has gotten my family trashed on more than one occasion because she is seriously hard to say no to. She just wants people to join in, so I did. And there is a reason why Kamikazes are normally shot size, not tumbler size. Let alone 2 tumblers on top of 2 or was it 3? Cokes and vanilla vodkas. Luckily, I stopped before my teeth became numb. (that was my test in college, if I couldn't feel my face or my teeth, it was time to stop drinking.) I started drinking the water instead to stave off the hangover. But continued to scarf the dip Second Eldest Sister brought until she told me I'd get sick if I didn't.
I got sick anyway. Not "OMG THE BATHROOM FLOOR FEELS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD" sick, but more, "OMG, I wish I'd not drank so much, I feel like I'm gonna be sick." kind of sick. Topped with, "OMG, Second Eldest was right, I ate too much cream cheese." punctuated with several groans. The kind of sick that passes, but not quickly enough, you still end up sitting up in bed for most of the night because lying down would mean the spins, and that's never cool.

Also? Fireworks? So not as awesome as when I was a kid. Is it all just my perspective or have the cities just gotten cheap? Discuss.

Somewhere in the weekend, something decided my calves & feet tasted damn good and went ahead and gorged themselves on me. I have 15 NEW bites from knees to big toes. Wearing shoes has become torturous because my feet are covered in bites, oh the itching!!!! When I showed them to F he said, "God do you think we have bed bugs? OR Spiders?????"
Spiders? IN OUR bed? Thanks for freaking me the hell out!!!!

Remember when I realized I'm whiter than Frosty? Well, spending the day with F outside while he was doing his hobby has changed all that. F and I put up the tarp thingie for me to sit under so I could read without getting burned. Which I did for most of the day until I realized I was wasting one hell of a good day for tanning. So I moved my chair up to the edge of the shade so my feet and calves would be exposed to the glorious sun (i had the bites already by this point, the sun actually made them itch, go figure). I thought I only sat like that for about an hour. It's hard to keep track of time when you are reading (A Thousand Splendid Suns, seriously, if you want to know how good you have it as a woman, depending on where you live of course, go read this book, then cry and pray for our middle eastern sisters who have to live this way.) Now? I'm red. Like a lobster. The burn makes my bites HURT. And the aloe makes my legs stick together at night. Which isn't all that fabulous when you have to peel them apart to roll over. OUCHIE. Freaking OUCHIE.
Man I need more 3 day weekends.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Just Call Me an Ostrich

We booked our Photographer!!! I really, REALLY wish I could share the website with you all, but that would kinda de-cloak the whole cloak and dagger aspect of this Blog, and we can’t have that. This photographer came to me through a referral from a co-worker, I’m so glad I made the call; we got in just under the wire. *PHEW* This Photographer ROCKS. So good in fact, that people hire this person to go overseas to photograph their wedding. Um, yeah, and it’s not wiping out our wedding budget either. AWESOME.
I had made an appointment with another photographer whose website claimed to have a satellite office in our town, mere blocks away. They called me back and said they’d prefer to meet with me in their main office, 40mins away. Which, I realize really isn’t any kind of distance, but I don’t know the area, plus there is construction, and most likely, F, my human sized Map Quest, wasn’t going to be accompanying me.(would it be wrong of me to register for a GPS??) I gave in and agreed. Then I started thinking about it and it kind of ticked me off. If the satellite office wasn’t somewhere you wanted to do business anymore, then take it off your website as a damned option. How hard is it? So I called back again, and told them, that unless they moved the appointment to the satellite office near my house, I was cancelling the appointment. Once again I allowed myself to be talked into coming to the main office on a Saturday so that F could be with me to guide me in the proper direction.
“Oh honey, do you not like to travel on the express way??” asked the receptionist in her overtly sweet, soft and breathy voice. “I can send you directions.” She kept calling me honey, which really annoys the hell out of me.
Before we made it there, we met with our current photographer, and booked on the spot.
So I really needed to cancel the other place, and not wanting to talk to Ms Disgustingly Sweet, I e-mailed them.
She called me.
Praise the Gods that I didn’t hear my phone ring. I wish I was techie enough to be able to play the message for you, maybe one day I’ll really figure this out. Anyway, she wants me to give call and them feedback.

Even though we’ve never met.

What is there to give feed back on? “Don’t call your clients honey?”
“Don’t ask your client if she has a driving phobia?”
“Don’t advertise something you’re really not willing to offer?”
Ok, so that last one might actually be good feed back, but I honestly don’t want to deal with her again. So I’m going to be all mature and adult about it and Just. Not. Call.
I wonder how long it’ll take them to get the hint?

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Back Up Off The Sparkly And Shiny

While MIL was visiting she and my mom went dress shopping together. MIL found a dress for the wedding, but they didn’t have it in her size. F took her to a different store the following day to see if they could find it. They didn’t have. I convinced him to write down the designer so we could look it up online. Which MIL and I did. We found it. We drove about an hour to the store. They didn’t have in the store, it was online only. (which the website failed to tell me.) They had her size, but not in the original color she tried on. I told her that I didn’t want her to feel obligated to buy the dress just because we were standing in the store. She said she liked it and she was going to buy. They shipped it to her house Back East. When it arrived, she didn’t like the color, it’s going back.
The entire time we were looking she kept saying she was giving up. If she didn’t find anything while visiting us, she was done looking because there is “NOTHING BACK EAST.” I find this totally hard to believe; it IS BACK EAST after all. I realize she was joking, about giving up that is. MIL actually has a really good sense of humor when you get her away from FIL. My mom said she really enjoyed hanging out with her. I haven’t heard what the dress shopping game plan is now, especially since we found out that W (F’s brother) is filing for divorce from T. Which after reading these stories about them, I’m sure all of you are as shocked by that as I am. Anyway, without T to take her shopping, I don’t see her having much luck in this department. And I’m kinda worried. I’m sure she’ll find something. Right?

My mother is also in need of a dress. She has been looking almost since the day we got engaged. Since then she’s “found” about 5 dresses and for one reason or another has talked herself out of purchasing them. I’d thought we’d hit pay dirt when I heard the joint shopping expedition had been successful for both those involved. That evening my mom went and ordered her dress. The next morning, she canceled it. She and I went shopping for her dress one day, and she found something on clearance, but not in her size. It of course was discontinued, so we couldn’t order it. I wrote down the designer and we looked online. All the dresses by this designer are outrageously expensive!!! $600 for a dress? I think not!!!! Even so we wrote down a few other shops she could go to that carried that designer.

People, we only have 114 days to go. I was looking on one website for dresses for my mom and it said that a common error most MOTBs make is waiting to get their dress until the last minute because they need 6 months to order too. Panic? Me? Yes. Neither mother has a dress. And after the dress there comes shoes, and purses and proper underwear. I still have some major items to gather, like, um a DJ, and oh, a Cake. Maybe even some flowers. So I really don’t have time to be holding my mother by the hand and helping her find a dress. Ok, that sounds kind of bitchy. I apologize. Its just her constant waffling on this issue is really getting to me. And some of the stuff she was all OHHHH NIIIIIIIIICE about? UGLY. I’m being a bad daughter, I know. Especially after all she did for me when MIL was here. I’m venting. Please forgive me.
I am taking suggestions though. Know any good websites for MOTB dresses???????

Tuesday, July 01, 2008


You can’t do when you have people staying with you….

1) Fart.
2) Walk from the bathroom after showering, to your bedroom, with just a towel. Wrapped around your head.
3) Sleep nude, JIC there’s a late night run-in outside the bathroom.
4) Be nude about the house, period.
5) Get changed or dressed with the bedroom door open.
6) Do your hair in the bathroom while only in your knickers.
7) Tell your significant other that they’re an ass, or you’re going to beat their ass, or they need a kick in the ass. (I’ve become VERY good at deathly cold if-looks-could-kill looks. I think F even shivered once.)
8) Say FUCK IT!
9) Say FUCK IT, we’re having pancakes for dinner.
10) Yell.
11) Cry.
12) Come home late.
13) Argue.
14) Drink an entire bottle of wine. (Which I actually did, because I was using it “for cooking.” Although F polished off the last bit directly from the bottle.)
15) Take too long in the bathroom without rousing suspicion.
16) Decide at the last minute what you’re having for dinner.
17) Have leftovers for dinner.
18) Give your own mom the china teacup and saucer (HER cup and saucer that’s kept at our house, to be exact) and give the guest a mug.
19) Fool around. (its wrong people, it’s just WRONG.)
20) Leave the dishes in the sink. (even though when you go to their house, that’s exactly where all the dishes are.)