Monday, March 29, 2010

Things Like This Are Why This Blog Is Named The Way It Is, Or The Longest Title I've Ever Had

So, Um yeah. Adulthood DOES SUCK. Let me give you an example as to why.


Not major Katarina type flooding, but water standing where it is not meant to stand type flooding. F and I were on our way to have some fabu middle eastern lunch on Saturday when his cell phone rang, scaring the crap out of both of us.

"Tenant is calling."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand my stomach fell to my shoes.

Tenant never calls just to say hi. Which I suppose in the scheme of things, I don't want Tenant calling every time a light bulb needs changing either.

F on the phone: "Shit. ....... Really? ........ Wait, leaking or flooding?.........Well we are about 2 hours out of town right now. But we'll turn around and come there.......Yeah, ok, no, we're coming...."

Tenant is never very clear about what the situation is. Or, F tends to tune him out when he calls. So I rarely get the full correct story. However, this time, I got to see for myself.


Standing water.

2-3 inches deep.(praise the lord it was inches and not feet)

The floor tiles were buckling.

The smell was, shitty. Literally.

In the time it took us to get there, because we did stop for lunch, Tenant had used an industrial sized shop vac to suck up most of the water.

Sewer back-up; due to a blocked drain and massive amounts of rain and melting snow.

F decided that he and Tenant would tackle the snaking of the drains on their own. I was taken home while F returned to the scene of my own personal horror.

About 2 hours later, F calls me.

"DH, you need to call around and get quotes from some professionals. We just can't get very far with this, not more than 3 feet." (a number he would later dispute with me, saying they'd gotten 25 ft of drain cleaned out. not.) So I called around. Four different places in fact. Apparently, backed-up drains were a hot ticket Saturday night, because they were all BOOKED. Yes. That's right, BOOKED. Either late into the night ("after midnight if you want to wait") or into MONDAY. I found one company that was not only the cheapest but would be to the rental property between 8 and 10 PM. I called F to confirm that that time period would work.

"YES SURE. Tenant hasn't been able to shower all day."

F came home at 6pm and said the smell of the waste (poo) was so stuck in his nose and mouth that he'd lost his appetite. I sent him to take a hot shower.

He kept complaining about how tired he was, I told him to go take a nap because I knew it was going to be a long night. He refused.

At 7:50pm he comes upstairs. "Let's GO DH!!!"
Me: "Go where?"
F: "To the rental! They'll be there soon!!!"

Silly BOY!!! Everyone knows that when they give you a window of time it is ALWAYS the latest time, not the earliest that they arrive at!!

Me as I make my way downstairs: "F, I'm not going over there and sit for 2 hours and wait for these people. Besides, they will call before they arrive. Let's just wait for the call."

For the next 2 hours he sat next to me on the couch and complained about how long we had to wait for the plumber to arrive back at the rental.

At 9:58PM F fumed and swore and threatened to call it a night. I convinced him to call the plumbing place instead. Apparently the Tech never got the message that he was supposed to add us to his route. We rescheduled for Sunday between 10 AM and Noon. You'd think after they "forgot" about us, we'd at least be at the top of their list. Not so much.

Sunday morning, we get a call. From Tenant. The water was back. Another 3-4 inches and maybe rising.


At 9:30 AM we arrive at the rental house to pick up the rented snake in order to return it.(a waste of $30) The tiles in the basement have buckled even more.

At 10:10 AM we hunker down for a TWO HOUR wait in our van out in front of the rental house.

At 11:55AM the Tech calls us to tell us he's on his way.

12:10PM Tech shows up.

12:15PM Tech assess the situation.

By 12:45PM Tech has finished the job and is packing his truck up to leave. He went 90 FT with his industrial Snake.

1:00PM I write Tech a check for $125.

1:10PM Tenant requests a 12 pack of beer "for his labor." F and I vacate the premises to purchase bleach for cleaning of the basement,("have HER pick it out, something that's NOT bleach smelling. She'll know, she's a woman and they know these things." Quote from Tenant to F.) a fan for drying of the basement and 2, 12 packs of beer for Tenant.

1:30PM We return to the rental property with fan, bleach (mountain fresh scent) and the 2 12 packs ("I said A TWELEVE PACK!!!" awes Tenant.)of beer.

2:00PM we stop for lunch.

3:00PM we return home and flop down on couch for the rest of the day, because really, who wants to do anything now???

I'm telling you my digital friends, as much as I LOVED my house when I lived there, and sometimes still dream of living there, I DO NOT IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM dream of having to deal with that crap again. If it had been me? There alone and this happened? I can't even tell you of the mass and depth of the puddle of despair and distress I would have been in.

If we could only sell the house for WHAT I STILL OWE. Oh the amount of money that would be freed up!! The bills we could PAY OFF!!!!

This my digital friends, is why sometimes, ADULTHOOD SUCKS.

Friday, March 26, 2010

500+ 1

OMG my digital friends, I've hit the 500 entries mark!!! This entry here will be 501!! Like the Levi's only better!

OK. Maybe not.

I'll just give you a good little giggle for the day.

F called me: "Hey, I need the number for the dentist, Dr. ABC."

Me: "Um, ok. Hang on a sec. What do you need it for?" ( I asked thinking he has broken a tooth or something since I can hear male voices in the background*very important to note*. Who wouldn't gather around for a good tooth chipping, hmmmm?)

F: "A referral."

Now mind you, when F calls me during the day while I'm at work, I sometimes have to pull my mind from focusing on my work, to do whatever it is he's asking me to do. Sometimes, my mental work fog doesn't always lift as fast as it should, or could, and lord knows I often hang up with him and think; Wait. What did I just agree to?

This phone call was one of those times.

Me: "Ok, 123-4567."

F: "123-4567. Are you sure?"

Me: "Yes.............WAIT!!! No no *giggle* that would have been pretty funny. That's the GYNOCOLOGIST'S number!!!"

F: "OMG."

Me: "Here 789-1011.hehehee”

In my defense, our dentist's name is the SAME as my soon to be former Gyno's name.

Friday, March 19, 2010

The Battle Rages On

I've told you recently of the battles my face is waging against me. It does not rest. It does not quit. It marches on across my face.  Last week, it was my chin.That was but a small skirmish, and cleared up quickly.  The mound from this post has dug in and refuses to leave.  It appears to have left a small force behind to maintain the fort, but has moved the mass of the troops to a new locale. The troops marched around the southern half of my nose to settle on the RIGHT side where my nostril flares out and meets my face. I continue to battle, alas half heartedly, against this unrelenting injustice. I purchased a new bottle of foundation fearing that the Old Foundation, and I DO mean old, at least 6 years(yes i know, but i RARELY use foundation), was a double agent and was supplying arms to the enemy. This tactic seemed to work for a few days, but either the enemy has turned New Foundation against me, or I executed an innocent old friend for desertion wrongly. I noticed New Foundation feels less greasy, which is a plus. I believe however this tactic was used to lull me as it went about escalating the number of creases and lines under my eyes. New Foundation is clearly working for the enemy.

I am losing the war my digital friends. I need reinforcements and potentially new supplies.

Can the U.D.N. (United Digital Nations) help their battle weary Blogger out? Supplies? Tested and True battle plans? ANYTHING??????


Thursday, March 18, 2010

I Am Shocked, and Horrified

A simple question to CCW turned into a full blown rage session on her part. She informed me, strictly on the D.L., that our IT person has been caught in the act of reading other people's e-mail. On their computer. During the WORK DAY. Granted the power an IT person has to peep on their co-workers can be quite overwhelming I would imagine.

But to engage in such behavior in full view of everyone is just beyond ballsy. Especially when one of the people that busted you in their e-mail, used to be YOUR BOSS. And could still have boss like info. about your funky butt in their e-mail. I always figured the IT would look at the stuff we've placed on our hard drives and even the shared drives. But to peruse e-mail! Be it work or not, is completely unacceptable. Apparently this has been going on for YEARS. And CCW warned me to clear my computer, and to make sure if the IT person was doing any work on my computer that I be there, vigilant, as it's done. For the most part, this is my common practice. But the IT person has access to everyone's computer for weekend maintenance. I am truly blown away by the audacity and boldness. BOARD DAYLIGHT!!! With the person COMING BACK to their desk!!! Not even checking the e-mail as UNREAD so it would still appear as, well, Unread!

I'll be password protecting everything I can from now on. Not that it'll do much good.

Have any of you encountered something like this in your office? Someone blatantly abusing their power to intrude on privacy?

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Things that Gross Me Out

1) Meat. In a CAN.

This has grossed me out since elementary school when a girl brought those little hot dog things in a can. The smell made me gag. Seeing them packed in water made me want to hurl.

F went out and bought diced chicken in a can from Costco because one of his co-workers told him it was good. That was about a month ago and none of the cans have been opened.

I’m dreading the day he tries to make me eat it.


2) The Seafood aisle in the grocery story.

I hold my breath every time we have to walk by it. I desperately try to avoid it at all costs.


3) Fish/Seafood. Period.

Please do not try and convince me that I don’t know what I’m missing. I’m not missing anything, and I’m glad of it. I will never miss that fishy taste that I can taste no matter what “cut” of fish I’m asked to try. Keep your fish, crab legs, oysters and seafood “Variety Buckets”. F had a seafood variety bucket when we went to Hilton Head Island. The smell alone made me want to move to another table, but watching him devour it, DEVOUR IT WITH GLEE, made me wish that I was in a whole other restaurant.

I made him wash his face and hands SEVERAL times that night before he was allowed in bed. I could smell it in his goatee!!!!

Especially keep your tuna fish. Holy hell the smell that shit leaves behind!


4) Any of those Discovery Planet type shows that show animals eating each other. F was watching one about lions a few weekends ago. I had all I could do to keep from hurling as they showed the lions eviscerating the gazelles. Their blood covered muzzles really got to me. Oh, my stomach is turning just thinking about it.


5) Pickled animal body parts.

I have no desire to see pickled pigs’ feet when I’m trying to pick out a lovely steak. F thinks he can convince me that eating chickens’ feet is like eating chips. Crispy and tasty.

When I was in college during Spring Break I went on what they called Alternative Spring Break. A group of us would go somewhere in the country and help out. Build houses, clean and paint the community center or work in the Soup Kitchen. Many restaurants and bakeries and what-not would donate day old food to the soup kitchen. Imagine my horror when I took the lid off the pan and a greasy layer of green goo greeted me. Then I stirred it to discover what meat product was contained within. “WHAT IS THAT???” my Midwestern, strictly meat and potatoes brain could not place the long boney item.

“OX tail.” The swarthy soup kitchen cook informed me.



(If you eat these food items, please take no offense. To each his own.)

6) Cleaning up bodily, um, waste. Needless to say the bathroom is my LEAST favorite room to clean and getting F to clean is like, well, virtually IMPOSSIBLE unless I raise my voice and threaten harm. So yes, I know when we have kids I am screwed, but I’ll handle it. I think.


What stimulates your gag reflex????

Friday, March 12, 2010

Taking Donations

OMG people!!! I have found THE dress for the wedding back East in May!! Alas, it is $200!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot justify that!!! CANNOT.

CBF just found it in GRAY as well!!!
Sliting wrists now.....

Thursday, March 11, 2010

So Long Turkey

F and I went out to lunch over the weekend to Arby's.  LOVE me some curly fries!!! Anyway, we had coupons, buy one, get one free. So we got 2 turkey bacon subs and 2 chicken sandwiches with the idea that I would take the extra sub to work for lunch. F was manning the tray as we got up to leave.
(do you see where this is going?)
He tips it all into the trash as I watch with baited breath, my voice caught in my throat. As he turns towards me I wish and hope that my untouched sub was hidden from my preview in his other hand. Alas, it was not!
Me: "Honey!!!!"
F: "What?"
Me: "You just threw out my sandwich!!!!"
F: *befuddled stare* "Wha? I did? Oh, I'm sorry."
Me: *blink* *heavy sigh* *eye roll* wait for him to attempt to dig it out. (is that wrong? It was still completely in it's wrapper. and it would have been on top.)

Needless to say he did NOT attempt to dig it out, but he did keep apologizing on the way out to the car.
I was really looking forward to that sub damn it.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Let's Talk About it!

I have a deep question for all of you.

If you see someone in need of help, but don't offer to help, and they don't ask FOR help, has any thing wrong happened???

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand DISCUSS!!!

Monday, March 08, 2010

COOL! But, Maybe Not

So Yahoo keeps showing me this ad for an Asian super secrect hair thickening system. I finally clicked on it when I noticed it was offering a FREE TRIAL!!!!!!  The site comes up and I see this picture:

Hmmm, me thinks that is NOT the same head, but, really what harm could it do? My hair is fine. Not fine and is good, but fine as in thin. This is ancient world knowledge boosted by new techonology.

Kaou (White Peony Tea) Known as the "King of all flowers" for its ability to soothe and condition the scalp.
Niiro Cha (Rooibos Red Tea)Middle Asian tea leaf stimulates circulation to scalp and hair follicles for enhanced brilliance.
Yuzu (Japanese Citrus Extract) Central to the Japanese Winter Solstice bathing ritual.
Promotes lasting shine and radiance.
Yuri (Water Lily) Centuries-old Asian remedy calms and soothes the scalp, especially with irritation due to hair styling products.
Tsubaki (Camellia Oil) Once reserved only for Geishas and Samurai. Legendary for advanced moisturizing and fortifying with increased length and volume.

Cool looking bottles:

Gently yet powerfully remove impurities With Pro Foam L amino acids for repair
All-Natural Shine and Fullness


"My hair was smoother and shinier within the first few days. I saw new hair growth where I had started to recede. I feel more vibrant and confident. Plus, my hair is easier to style than before."
- Mona L., Fulton, MO

"I love OOKISA! This all-natural product promotes hair growth and makes hair look shinier, fuller and healthier. I noticed more brilliance and thickness."
- Kellie J., Piedmont, AL

I was all ready to enter my credit card info until I read what the *astrik next to the "FREE" meant:

* Your FREE Trial of OOKISA™ includes a full 60-day supply for just $5.95 in shipping and processing. You will have 30 days to try OOKISA™ and discover why it is the perfect hair care system for you. If you like how this system makes you look younger with more youthful looking hair, do nothing – at the end of your free-trial period you will be billed the discounted price of $89.95. If for any reason the collection is not for you, call OOKISA™ Customer Care toll-free at 877-466-5472 within your 30-day free-trial period to cancel. Then simply return the product (even if it is empty!) and you will NEVER be billed. No commitments, no hassles.

NINETY BUCKS??!?!?!?! PLUS Shipping and Handling??? DUDE!!!!!  I realize the 30 day trial is free. But when you consider that it will take a week to get to you, and another week to send it back in order to meet the 30 days, all you get is 2 weeks. Unless of course you are sneaky and dishonest and empty the contents into different containers and send back the empties...........

Not that I would EVER consider doing that.

Friday, March 05, 2010

The Time Has Come

So, I guess it is time to make a decision on my hair style. Especially after my boss stopped me in the hallway and said, "So, I've been meaning to ask you. Why have you stopped 'doing'(makes curling motion) your hair?"
"I am so tired of it. I just can't be bothered anymore."
"Oh. Well, yeah, I understand."
"I want to cut it short, but F doesn't want me to."
"Yeah. Well, it still looks, nice."

Um, yeah. "Nice." I know my hair looks like crap. I have fine, poker straight hair. I do attempt to style it each morning. I still use gel and thickening lotion and hairspray. The result however just doesn't look as nice. Which, I just don't understand, there are other women in our office who don't style their hair, and it looks amazing. Why can't I be one of them???
I just don't have the patience for this. I WANT my hair to look good, of course I do. I just, I just kinda don't care anymore. Ya know?
I'm actually leaning towards the perm again. So easy.
This should NOT be such an issue for pete's sake!!!

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Too Late

I got this e-mail AFTER I'd already eaten said BACON& BLUE hamburger:

Move over American cheese, there's a new cheese in town. Real blue cheese crumbles and our premium Applewood Smoked Bacon come together to make one real delicious combination. And with $1 OFF, you can fill up for less.

Made with fresh, never frozen, North American beef, the Bacon & Blue is layered with real blue cheese crumbles and thick, center-cut strips of premium Applewood smoked bacon. It's then topped with golden, sautéed onions and creamy steakhouse sauce.
With so many flavorful toppings, you may want to sit down before you bite into this one. Only for a limited time. Only at Wendy's®.

How is that even fair?
So I printed out 2 of them.

Monday, March 01, 2010

Reading Comprehension, TRY IT

We have a.....................


named [redacted]

Everyone is ok, waiting on e-mail from [the mother] for further info!!!!

That is the e-mail I sent to our staff late the other night after a co-worker sent me text telling she'd had her baby.

I hadn't heard anymore, so I didn't send another e-mail. So you can imagine the slight irritation I felt when a co-worker came to me mid-morning and asked me, "Have you heard anymore from [the mother]????"

I actually said, "No. I said in my e-mail..." but she CUT ME OFF before I could finish my sentence.

Do people just NOT pay attention anymore to what they read? I'm very good about informing people of things, so if I said I would send another e-mail when I got more info, I'LL SEND THE FRACKIN' E-MAIL!!!!

Sweet baby Jesus, give me patience!!!!