Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Seriously, Just MEAN

I love validation. Who doesn't? And each and every time I get an actual comment on one of my posts I get all excited and the warm feelings of love and understanding just flow through me. Someone CARES enough to make a comment. Someone UNDERSTANDS what I'm saying enough to make a comment. Someone actually finds me AMUSING. And since my commentators are so few and far between (no pressure commentators, NONE at ALL.....ahem) you can imagine my hurt and annoyance when I get C-SPAMed, Comment SPAM. Yeah, what the hell is that all about? Seriously? Are you really that lame that you have to SPAM on a Blog? And none the less it wasn't even a GOOD SPAM, it was about SUITS, MEN'S suits. Hi! little market research here, I AM NOT A MAN. And this SPAM? Not only once, nay! TWICE!!! SAME DAMNED THING! Really, just EVIL to do that to a poor girl. Repeatedly.
I've pasted it below so you can read it. But so HELP ME if you go comment on this twit's page instead of mine, you are so DEAD to me!
(please don't leave me for a poser!)

"Have you ever realized that when you buy readymade suits you get a choice of only a few colors & styles, also finding the perfect fit are quite difficult? Wouldn’t it be better to choose from over 2000 different British & Italian fabrics and get a tailor made suit at a similar price that you pay for readymade suits? We are a company based in Hong Kong and have been providing custom made suits & shirts since 1997. With representatives in major cities around the globe we can arrange to show you the fabric samples and take your measurements, or you can also place your orders online with the help of our measuring guide. There are over 2000 fabrics to choose from along with all the latest styles.All our suits and shirts are produced by highly skilled Shanghainese tailors in Hong Kong and delivered in about 4 weeks, express delivery can be made in 2 weeks at a minor extra cost. In case you are not able to find what you are looking for then please let us know your requirement may it be in words or by a photograph and we could arrange it for you.We also have an outlet at the Hotel Intercontinental Budapest where you are most welcome to visit us. Though we are not located in streets like Savile Row (London), we have still been able to offer made to measure suits to many VIP’s from around the world.Experience an easier way of shopping for bespoke suits & shirts at Euro Tailors"
Kenny Surtani

Kenny? Really? So doesn't make me wanna buy a suit from you. You know, that and the fact that I'm NOT A DUDE.

Friday, April 25, 2008


I was in the bathroom at work. We have those toilet seats that don't make a complete circle

The gap in between had a hair on it. A very dark, hair. Which of course leads me to believe it was a pubic hair. UGH. I stood there and took a deep breath and blew to get it off the "gap" and it worked. But when I looked down, I saw it had landed ON MY BARE TOES!(i'm wearing flip-flop type things)
HORRIFIED, I tried to shake it off but it just would not budge!
I looked over for a brief second and saw the pubic hair laying on the floor.
On closer inspection of my toes what I THOUGHT was the hair was really an unraveling thread from my shoe.

Thursday, April 24, 2008


That Should Be Illegal....

  • Changing the gas price from $3.47 to $3.56 while people are waiting in line for the $3.47 price.
That's just low down dirty.

  • Oh, wait, actually having to PAY over $3 for gas should be illegal too!!!

  • The gas station that used to be at least 10 cents cheaper than everyone else, is now only a penny cheaper if not more expensive than everyone else.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The Bling Is Gone

I look at my engagement ring often. Mostly to check to make sure it looks good, you know, CLEAN and SHINY. The other day I was coming out of the kitchen at work and I happened to look down at my ring.

A diamond was missing!

Actually, it wasn't missing, it was a trick of the light, however I did notice that it was sitting lower in the setting then it should be. I got back to my desk and examined it more closely. The diamond in question had sled out of it's bracket or groove, if you will, on one side. When I poked at it with my nail, it moved. I got very nervous. I can't tell you how many stories I heard when I worked in the jewelry store about how the diamond was there and then it wasn't. One good knock and I could lose the diamond for real! I immediately e-mailed F and told him to get in touch with the Jeweler where he bought the ring, back East. As I was waiting for his reply a co-worker came in and I told her what was happening.

"Oh yeah, it totally IS sitting lower!" (i tell you this so you don't think I'm over reacting.)

F called me back and told me that I have to send the ring back.

Back East.

How long will this take? How long will I wonder if anyone will notice it missing and think the engagement has been called off? I can't take the stress.

My thumb keeps going to my ring finger to mess with the band.

The one good thing about all of this? The deep scratches on the ring from when I wore it while sanding joint compound should get polished (buffed, for those in the know) out. And then my ring will be returned me to all shiny and new looking! YAY!!!!

Trust me, you don't want to see a pic of the ring on my pudgy finger, but this is what it looks like.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Sleepless...On the Couch

Remember last week, F went far far away.(he asked me to pack for him.) F has now returned.(he asked that I UNpack for him.) F is completely disorientated because of the time change and what-not. F still has not put the suitcase and presents and trash away from his trip. It completely litters the guest bedroom and bed, i.e. the room I go to sleep when he snores. I refuse to clean it up for him. Especially after spending the week he was gone cleaning the whole freaking house by myself, missing all the lovely sunny warm weather. Extra especially after he found the energy to go hang out at his hobby for half an hour and shoot the breeze with the boys.(i was dragged along.) So last night, after he went to bed at 8 pm, he began to snore beyond belief. Since I refused to clean up his mess, YET AGAIN, I found myself on the couch shortly after I came to bed. He came out about 4 am and told me to come back to bed, I declined to do so.
He knew he was in trouble.
He came and asked me again at 5am.
Again, I declined.
We met in the hallway after he got out of the shower, "Good morning?" he queried.
I narrowed my eyes at him, "good morning."
"What's wrong?"
"I'm tired."
He dropped it.
But he did start picking up after himself.
I think he got the message.

Monday, April 21, 2008

JC Penney is a Damn Tease

So the shoes from JC Penney's? Available on line ONLY. Which, ok, my fault for not paying better attention to what the site said. F came along for the ride. (he is still totally out of it. Woke up at 4 am this weekend, which means I was awake too, not cool. But YAY! he's home.)
Anyhow, fighting through my 3 hr long sinus headache I stumble downstairs and make my way back to the Penney's website only to find that in my size, those lovely shoes, come ONLY IN BLACK. So yeah, I didn't get them. Oh, I could have had them in white, if I wore a 6.5. What is it with the 6.5s!?!?!?!!?
The hunt continues.
F suggested that I go to DSW.
How does he even know such a place exists?????????

Friday, April 18, 2008

Is It Wrong?

I have a friend at work that had a pair of heels that she absolutely loved. Loved to the point that she had them resoled, like 5 times. After several years they were scuffed and scared and stretched out, I finally convinced her to buy new ones. The ones I found for her she didn’t buy. She went shopping on her own and bought a pair of shoes that she now hates. Hates to the point that she’s reinstating the old pair.
My point here is that I too had a pair of sandals that I loved. They were from Target, Cherokee Fisherman’s Sandals. I wore those suckers all over Europe. Wore them all summer. I LOVED those sandals, they were so comfortable. A few summers later while getting ready for trip to Australia I discovered that they really smelled. I hunted for replacements, all over the net. I could not find them. So I bought a pair of shoes that CBF said were like butter, a pair of Sketchers. She’s very foot conscience. I wore them all over OZ, and I HATED them. They were heavy and the black rubber insole made my foot sweat and turn black. Then the stitching started to come undone. I went back to my original Target sandals the next summer. I would switch between the two pairs, but ultimately, the Target ones would win out. Then the sole got a crack in it from one side of the shoe to the other. I continued to wear them. This past summer the insole came free from the sole. I was determined to continue to wear the sandals until they fell apart at the seams for the top leather straps were still in amazingly good condition. However, the SLAP SLAP SLAPPING of the insole back into the sole with every step I took drove me crazy. I began my hunt again and found a pair of nice shoes online, for $80 bucks. F shamed me out of buying them, saying that was too much to spend on sandals. I reluctantly purchased a cute pair of fisherman’s sandals from Payless and wore them to Boston. Where the straps came into the sole, the lump it created, poked me in the bottom of my foot and rubbed them raw. And then my knees started to hurt. I was able to fix the poking rubbing strap, but even so, every time I wore them last summer my knees would hurt. I cursed those sandals, and I greatly fear having to wear them again this summer.
So what all this is leading up to, is this; I found some new fisherman sandals that I think would be ultra comfortable. And they cost $85 bucks. They are Doc Martens. Docs are suppose to be very good shoes, but are they really worth $85 dollars? And can I, so broke it aint no joke, justify a pair of $85 dollar sandals?
I realize they look kind of manish, but they are so damned comfy, if you get the right ones,and they look so cute with shorts, or jeans, or capris.
I also found a pair from Red Wing that are $75.

Oh, and JcPenney's is having a sale, so I checked out their website too. They have a pair of Clarks on sale, so I went to the Clark's Website. Um, HI! I'll take one of every pair of your sandals, Thanks!
Oh, and I found THESE on the Penney's website, I think I may have found my Wedding Shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aren't they so, simple and sophisticated? AND I can actually try them on to see if there'd be any Polish Foot Mush.

Thursday, April 17, 2008


I told you all that F is currently out of the country for work related stuff. I was so excited that I was going to get to sleep without earplugs! YES! I thought to myself, I'll FINALLY sleep like I did in the days before F! LIKE A ROCK. Surely I've mentioned his snoring, haven't I? The snoring that makes me go sleep in the other room? The snoring that requires me to wear ear plugs to bed EVERY NIGHT?
We bought a box of like 500 ear plugs a few weeks ago.
I was actually excited.
About ear plugs.
Anywho, the first night F was gone I snuggled into the middle of the bed for a much needed good night's sleep, and jumped at EVERY SINGLE DAMNED SOUND I heard. I found out that our house is extremely noisy at night. Who knew? I've conquered the problem by loading the CD player with "sleepy time music" as my niece called it when she was little, and promptly fell asleep. Slept through the night even. But I still woke up feeling like I didn't sleep. And now, after several days I wake up before the alarm goes off, by like an hour. And CAN NOT fall back to sleep. WTF? All my glorious plans of great sleep, not so glorious.
I'm seriously looking forward to Saturday, when F returns.
I figure at least I can sleep in that morning before I have to go get him at the airport.
Which of course will end up with me awake at an ungodly hour because I'm afraid of over sleeping and not going to pick him up on time.
This is what it's like to be me.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


I've told you about my recurring chin hair. Now I seem to have sprouted some kind of wire out of my cheek. Ok, so it's not REALLY a wire, but it feel much stiffer than a hair. Almost like that plastic thread they use to sew tags into clothes. Know what I mean? The stuff that keeps pricking you in the neck? Yeah, like that. When I run my finger nail across it, it makes a clicking noise. My facial hair has it's own sound track. I've gone at it with the tweezers several days in a row, but to no avail. It's just not long enough yet for me to be able to yank the damned thing out. It's like the missing tooth, or the hang nail, you just can't stop messing with it.
I can seriously see this being an issue come wedding day, and all the pictures will showcase me with my hand plucking at my face.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Clean Up..Aisle...ALL

I went grocery shopping on my lunch just now. Even without F here to help eat food, the fridge is bare. I went just down the street to my favorite major chain and commenced spending money. About 2 aisles in it hit me, hard and fast, I have to GO NOW! I believe I told you the horrors of not having a gall bladder. I like to know where a bathroom is at all times. I was however completely clueless about it's location in the grocery store. Squeezing my ass cheeks together as tightly as I could I thought I could make it through the store, check out and then back to the office, unload all my groceries and THEN go to the bathroom.
Yeah, not so much.
I asked an employee where the restroom was and she pointed, not 20 feet behind me tucked in next to the Pharmacy was the restroom. GLORY BE PRAISED! I had to keep myself from running there, slammed my cart to a halt and bolted into the farthest stall down. It was then that I discovered that I'd just spent the last 30mins traipsing around the store with my zipper wide open.
Like a good girl I'd "gone" before I left for the store, and apparently I either didn't do up my pants, or they came undone.
Then while in the checkout lane I noticed the seasoning packet I'd bought to season my roast had a tear in it. Not too big, I figured I could make it back to the office and slap a little scotch tape on it. As I unloaded the bags I noticed a brown substance pretty much coating the inside of one bag.
I tossed the packet into a baggie and tried to salvage what was coating the bag, didn't really work. So the $3.69 I paid to make my life easier and more tasteful? There's about $2.00 worth left.
I guess I should have waited to shop.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Drunken E-Mailing

What follows is an e-mail F sent me. F is currently out of the country. He'll be gone for several days. Because of time changes and whatnot, his sleep pattern is totally screwed up. I laughed when I read this e-mail because it takes a bit of deciphering because the spelling and typing are quite nasty. I've placed the proper word next to the wrong word, in green.
Have fun reading, I know I did.

"DH, went out for Suchi Sushi and got totally fat and drunk and I am majorly buzed buzzed now... it was nto not just one glass of bear wither either. it was 4-5 glasses and 2-3 shot os of sachi (sp?) sake... I can not belive believe I am coherant coherent enought to type this email... okay I am goin g going to surf the net and watch the soft porn* they have on regular tv here... cheers love F"

* Just so you know, I told him watching porn was wrong, and that its even worse to tell me he was going to go watch it. Boys.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

PMI: The Reckoning

Red flags? A few.
Were they major?
Not in Father's opinion. In fact he said there weren't any red flags.
The first Flag we talked about was our families, because apparently F thinks my Eldest Sister and Eldest BIL could be an issue. He doesn't feel comfortable around them.
Fair enough.
We talked about FIL and his behavior. Father really didn't have any advice on that, other than to respect him.
And to not move Back East.
He was concerned about our financial answers. Despite how much F and I make combined, a tidy sum, we are still struggling. Me the most, with my ever looming credit card debit. (if only my house would sell, Pray Shout Out to St Joseph!)
Other than that, it went ok. Until Father told us that he's almost certain he'll be leaving our Parish come July. So not cool. But he would come back and do our wedding if we wanted him too and that if the Priest he thinks is coming to replace him is really coming, we might be just as happy with him. (we'll see. We may have to stalk Father to his new locale.)
And then, F? Totally ratted me out. See, F and I are both Christians, but from different sects. Vastly different as far as I'm concerned and since his religion doesn't allow women to participate in the running of the Services, and basically paints them as second class citizens, I refuse to attend. He told Father that he'd ask me to attend and I refused.
Father took his side. Telling me I should go because it's important to F.
I don't like being ratted out to the Priest and I couldn't sleep last night for thinking about it. I'm a little hacked off about it. (F used this same tactic on FIL concerning me to their Priest. And I think that's part of why FIL resents me, or whatever his negative feelings are towards me.)
I'll go. But not because Father is a "Father" and he holds some kind of religious authority over me, but because I respect Father as a person, and hence respect his opinion.
But I won't like it.

Monday, April 07, 2008


Remember when F and I took the PMI and he couldn't believe that I was worrying about taking it?
Well, guess who just called me to tell me he's nervous?
Emhm, F.
Says he has a feeling something bad is going to happen.
Like I need to hear that a mere 2 hrs before we meet with Father to go over our results.
Damn it, now my stomach is getting all in knots.

It Takes All Kinds

Sunday, F and I arrived at Church to find it packed to the gills with people. First Communion. That means every blood relative of the child was in attendance. F and I headed towards the VERY back of the Church and managed to grab the last 2 seats in the place. The people in front of us had 3 boys, which grew my attention because the one had both his fingers up his nose and didn't care who saw. The oldest boy kept putting his feet on his mother's legs, her butt, the small of her back, where ever he could land them, all while trying to un-shoe his youngest brother who had taken up residence in his mother's arms. Fair enough, they are just kids. The first thing I noticed about their Aunt was her shoes. Very kicky heels with a red and white check pattern, kind of like she was wearing the picnic table cloth on her feet. But they looked better than that. My eyes caught the flash of blue next. I peered at her and caught sight of her bright blue, very long nails. Um, ok. The blue nails flashed up to her hair, and the pink little girl mini clip. OH! Now that is one of my pet peeves, adult woman who wear little girl hair accessories. Seriously! Move your lazy butt a little further down the aisle and buy the adult mini-clip! Yes, it may only be brown, and not have the hint of looking like a butterfly on your head, but hey, You're an ADULT, these things happen as part of growing up.

Tomorrow, PMI: The Reckoning.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Midnight Man Handling, It Never Ends

It has been a long while since I was Manhandled. But a few weeks ago it happened again. And this time? DOUBLE HANDED. That's right, 2 hands made their way onto my tushy. At the same time. They rested there, squeezed my tushy twice. Rested again. One made it's way to my hip, patted me and then both retreated.
I told F the next morning. He laughed.

"I must have been dreaming about sex."

Such a boy.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

More of Yesterday and into Last Night

My mother called me while I was still at work last night. We spoke for a few minutes and like a true mother she says, "What's wrong? Is everything ok? Are YOU ok?"

ME: "I've been better." I sighed as I could feel the tears welling in my eyes.

Mom: "What's happened?"

So as the tears begin to run down my face, I relay the tale.

Mom: "Oh DH. Do you think you can spend the rest of your life living with them?"

ME: "I don't know mom, I really don't know."

And then I really started crying, and my nose started running. (why does that always happen at the same time? like crying isn't enough, your body's gotta throw in a few snot bubbles to top it off?)

Then, I got a bloody nose. Really helpful, let me tell ya.

So we talked for awhile. She told me I had to work it out with F as to how we'd handle these types of things. She's very comforting, that mom of mine.

When I got home F was waiting for me to take me out to dinner, and the water works started again. (trust me, I find myself annoying right now with all this damned crying.) Any woman knows that talking while sobbing does not make for an easy conversation. F listened, we talked very calmly. I told him I couldn't come to love a man(FIL) who is so cruel for no reason. And that I always feel like I can't be myself when we are at his parents', that I'm always uncomfortable. He told me that he told his mother that's why we don't stay there when we come to visit.

ME: "But that's the thing F, you tell her, not him. And you know as well as I do, she's not telling him this stuff. Of course he probably wouldn't care if she did."

He told me if I was going to leave him he wasn't going to help me move my stuff out. A running joke between us which made me laugh.

In the end I asked him to please defend my honor.

F: "I do."

ME: "Well ok, then defend my honor the way I would." I grinned at him full well knowing I was asking more than he could deliver as far as telling his father off is concerned.

I think everything is ok now.

Of course I screwed myself out of a nice dinner with all my blubbering, damn it.

Stupid girl hormones.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Will This Never End?

I cried myself to sleep last night.

Let me give some back story. A few hours earlier F came to me and said that one sentence that strikes fear in every heart, no matter what gender you've assigned to, "We need to talk."

It appears that while we were Back East for Christmas, yes, remember that trip? Apparently I committed a major faux pas by not greeting FIL like an excited puppy upon my entry into his home. I could be wrong here, but I thought etiquette dictates that the host is suppose to greet guests when you arrive in their home. So really, I should be upset that he didn't greet me, right?

My second faux pas, yes, I was bad more than once; occurred whilst relaying a statement that had been made to my mother by another woman who was the mother of a groom. "My mother told me that she was told that the MOG is suppose to wear beige and shut up." *insert laughing here* From what I can gather, MIL and SIL took it to mean that I was telling MIL to shut up and wear brown. But they weren't the ones to relay this to F, W (his brother) was. Remember W? The guy who dropped several F-Bombs and then stormed out leaving his wife and children behind during this same meal? Yes, he's the one who brought it up to F. Bit of the pot calling the kettle, don't you think?


I just want to make sure I've got this straight. I didn't greet FIL when I entered his home as a guest and I told MIL to shut her mouth and what color she should wear to the wedding, BACK IN DECEMBER and it's April, and I'm just now hearing about from an extremely distressed F. He's been stressing out about how to tell/ask me about this for 3 WEEKS.

"I didn't want to start an argument. I didn't want you blowing up over this."is what he told me finally. I also found out that when FIL hung up on me, he thought that it was I who was telling him to please stop calling, not that it was me relaying a message FOR F. (Don't shoot the messenger comes to mind.)

I know it's wrong to keep score, but I can't help but think of all the things that have been done to me by these same people and I haven't refused to talk to them or given them the silent treatment because of it. Ok, maybe I have to FIL, but dang, the hatin never stops with this man.
I want to express my feelings about this to F, but seeing how distressed he was over this, I hate putting him in the middle by complaining about his family, again. Which is exactly what is happening.
When I laid down to sleep my mind began to race, as it does. And this enormous overwhelming feeling of despair came over me, and I started to cry. F was already fast asleep so I got up and went to cry in the other room.
Is this how things are going to be for the rest of our lives? His family withholding affection and giving the silent treatment at the slightest hint of an imagined affront? Causing him to lie to me when I ask him what is wrong and he says "Nothing." because he doesn't want a confrontation with me?
I've never encountered a family like this. I've heard of them, but never had the displeasure of interacting with them. They constantly assault me and my sense of proper conduct and I do nothing. But when they feel accosted, it's all out war.
I know the saying goes "Kill them with Kindness." It's the "Kindness" part I'm having difficulty with.
This hurts my heart more than I can say because it makes me question this union.

Damn it, and Damn them because now I'm crying again.