You're Right. What Could I Possibly Know?

So I just had a co-worker try to convince me that my out-laws, "Can't be THAT bad. They CAN'T BE THAT BAD." She smiled and slowly shook her head at me like I was a silly little child who was upset that the sun was going down.
And that really made me angry. She knows many of the tales. Has crinkled her face in disbelief. And yet here she was, telling me I couldn't possibly be right.
I often do think that maybe I am being overly sensitive. Constantly on guard with them. That I should give them more slack. And then things happen or are said and I'm right back to where I started. Shaking my head and kicking myself for being so naive. Wondering why everyone keeps telling me that's just how it is and I should just deal with it.

So I come here, and I reread what I've written about the visits.  Relive the moments, the statements, the questions and some times I feel vindicated and other times I feel doubt.
Like when MIL heard of my plan to wait until Little Man was 6 months old to start feeding him solids, she wagged her finger at me via Skype and said, " You listen to ME honey, if you don't feed him food now, he won't like anything later!"
Um, what? Doesn't one of the nephews you pretty much raised only eat chicken nuggets? And he's 8? Soooooooo, what again??
Or how she gave me a necklace and out right lied about "having one made for you from The Homeland because you said you liked mine."
Oh, you read that and think how sweet! why is she complaining? I can't stand being lied to, especially when you give me a broken piece of jewelry as a gift and tell me it is new, especially made for me. To me that is an insult to my intelligence. And this is when I question myself. Just let it go! I say to myself. She is TRYING. But then my other side says, Is it really trying if it is lies and broken items?
I drive myself crazy with the back and forth!

 The constant battle between F and I over his family is harmful. Here it is almost 4 months out and I'm already stressing about heading Back East for Christmas. No matter what we do, someone is going to be miserable. I of course prefer it not be us.
How do you make yourself not care? How do you make yourself the person who is always seeing the bright side of things? How do I become Zen? How I ask you,  HOW?

Blessed Be Bitches

Today Little Man is 5 months old! I cannot tell you how much we love him. It isn't quantifiable. As much as I want him to stay the same, I love all the changes I see in him. His smile is a heart melter, let me tell ya. FLIRT just like his daddy.

Anyway, I believe I promised you a Baptism story.  F did all the planning. I did all the shopping.
There were countless discussions about where the Outlaws would stay upon their arrival. F of course wanted them housed with us. I of course, did not. I managed to make enough logical points(or so I believe) that they, and the other out of towners, stayed at the local hotel. How this went down with them, I don't know, F has taken to not telling me certain things where his family is concerned, but I am sure it was not received well.
MIL immediately dedicated herself to telling me that Little Man was catching his death of cold in the meat locker I kept him in while dressed in mere rags. This continued for the next 4 days. Even when we were in a restaurant that I kid you not, was above 80 degrees and Little Man was in his sheep skin lined car seat, with fleece pants and jacket on. I told F to remove said fleece jacket so he wouldn't over heat. "Isn't he cold?!!!!" MIL quivered worriedly as F reached to do as I asked. He stopped dead mid-air.
"No, he's not. F, take the jacket OFF."  F did as I asked. Bless him. Crazy Best Friend was seated beside me and later gave me her take on the whole situation.
"They must think you are one bossy bitch."
"What?!!? Why?!"
" 'F! TAKE OFF HIS JACKET!!!'  Seriously DH, you were bitchy about it."
I was floored. I floundered about for why she, who knows me so very well would say this. We are decidedly honest with each other and I knew she wouldn't say something, obviously, just to make me feel better.
"I'm going to guess you didn't hear MIL say "Isn't he cold!?" "
"She did?"
"Yes."
"Oh, well then, you were fine."
As the long weekend came to a close CBF saw more and more instances of MIL questioning my parenting choices and of her "poor pity me, I'm such a victim" manipulation tactics. They are subtle, but they are there.
 I'm not going to lie, it was nice to be validated. I'm not just being over sensitive, these things really do happen.
Every time I would try to take Little Man into a separate part of the house behind closed doors to feed him or try to quiet him down for a nap or just because he was being over stimulated by all the activity, MIL would hunt me down, burst into the room without knocking (I breast feed in my own home with it all hanging out, no cover); and insist that I needed help. Was she truly wanting to be helpful? Maybe. But I took it as her continual questioning of my parenting skills. I had been doing it without help up to this point, why did she keep insisting that I needed it?
MIL's parting conversation with me? In a heavily concerned voice; "DH. I don't know how you can do it *heavy sigh* but you MUST find a way to keep him warm in there (Little Man's bedroom)." (a room that has its own free standing heater. Set at 70. With the door closed.) 
 FIL on the other hand insisted that Little Man, at all of 3 months, smile on demand. And became disgusted when Little Man didn't comply.
He was told a day in advance at what time he needed to be ready to leave for the church.  15 minutes from departure time he insisted that he needed another 30 minutes to get ready. F hit the roof. FIL managed to get himself together in the allotted  time but upon arriving at our house, REFUSED to get out of the car and come in.  True to form he was grouchy and sullen for most of the visit. After picking up CBF at the airport and getting her settled into the hotel we went back to our house. The moment my foot touched the tile FIL demanded, "WHAT IS GOING ON????!!!!"
Bewildered I asked, "What is going on with what?"
"With M and L!"
"I don't know what you are talking about."
"Have they landed!!???"
"I don't know. Didn't F leave to go get them from the airport?"
"YES. But they were delayed because of the snow. So what is going on! Are they coming here or what??!!!"
"I haven't heard anything from F, so I don't know what is going on. You know more than me. Have you called him?"
"YES. He's not answering."
He was not at all happy with my lack of knowledge and glared at me until F and his passengers walked through the door and then it was as if the long lost son (M, not F) had returned.
When Little Man would start to cry he would loudly inform me, "HE'S HUNGRY! Feed him!"
By the end of the long weekend I had all I could do to continue to bite my tongue.  M even mentioned to F that he was shocked when I snapped at FIL after FIL had informed me that my son needed feeding. I didn't even remember doing it. I was that exhausted by dealing with them. (Later I would also realize that I was coming down with the stomach flu that weekend, so yay!)
The stress was was insane for both F and me. I felt bad for him and how his father was behaving.
But we made it through intact.

I may be recovered by the time we head BACK EAST to visit with them for a week in June.

I am NOT that F'ing OLD!!!

The other weekend I picked up my phone to check Face Book and saw that I had a ton of "private messages". Since the "upgrade" for FB on Android SUCKS SWEATY BALLS, I was unable to see the full source of the messages.  I commandeered F's laptop and ended up spending the next hour reading message after message concerning my TWENTY YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.
The Fuck?  Twenty years??? 20 YEARS.  How the hell has it been 20 years? HOW!!!???
I decided instead of everyone in the class scrolling through enumerable messages, it would be quicker, and easier, to just set up a FB Group for said reunion. That is how I found myself the Admin of my TWENTY YEAR reunion FB Group.  I'm not even the one who started the discussion! I simply created a group. Easy Peasy. So far it seems that most people are quite willing to attend said reunion next year. I am actually shocked at how quickly the "Will Attends" started adding up.  I am also rather shocked at how many people are requesting to be my friends. Honestly? Some I am having a really hard time remembering who they are. I read through some of the names on the "Members" list, and I'm all, "Who the Fuck? That person was so not in my class!"
And then I got one friend request that made me slam the laptop closed in disgust. "Seriously?!!?" I mentally screamed at the FB request. "SERIOUSLY?!?!?! After YOU unfriended ME you want to be 'friends' again?? I am SO NOT answering this right now!" Then I remembered that I chronicled my disgust back when the self important unfriending happened. That I could relive the moment clearly instead of just from memory. I still haven't answered his friend request. I  just don't know if it is really worth it. Is it silly of me to still be hacked about something that happened 2.5 years ago? I don't need to be "friends" with everyone that asks, right? I have control over that. Might it seem bitchy? Probably. But I can't say I really care. Ok, maybe a little, I hate hurting people's feelings. I just keep going back to how he unfriended people to begin with and how it has been almost three years and he is just now noticing that I'm no longer one of his friends.
OMG, Face Book, you create too many issues!!!!! I am slightly disappointed in myself that I am even spending time on this! I just decided, I am NOT going to accept, so there, NAH!

I Am Not Sucking On Sugar Cubes

So, I know in the last post I said I was going to try and avoid making this an ALL BABY ALL THE TIME type Blog. I realize however that being pregnant is currently apart of my daily life, and therefore will need discussing. So forgive me if my snark has temporarily left the building. Right now I am just irritated, and I need to vent.
 Way back in the very beginning of my pregnancy they decided because of my age and my weight that I would get to be lucky and be tested for Gestational Diabetes way before normal testing would take place. I'm talking week 8 instead of week like 30. And guess what people? I FAILED.  Monitoring started and diet change started and my life with pasta ended as I know it because no matter how hard I tried I just could not stay within the levels they wanted me to.  I cried, no, let me be honest, I LOST MY SHIT and BALLED HYSTERICALLY when the nutritionist informed me that the Dr would most likely put me on insulin. I could barely speak when I called F. He promptly sent me home. I promptly went to my mother's and cried some more. My boss, I'm sure, thought someone had died because I DO NOT CRY and again, I was crying to the point that I could not speak properly. She agreed that I needed to go home. Why did this news hit me so hard?  So many things. So. Many. Things. And this was just the one thing I was really hoping to avoid. I'd had enough with the needles and drugs getting Little Man that I really thought I was all done with it. And here this not very motherly older lady was telling me that I had a good SIX MORE MONTHS of needles and poking myself.  Straw, meet the Camel's back.
I inform them weekly of my glucose levels which I take 4 times a day.  And again, no matter how hard I tried, I still was not getting the levels where they needed to be.  Each week my dose would increase. I've had a few weeks here and there when I would be allowed to maintain the same dose. I cannot express to you the joy this would bring me.  Today however, I was, I felt, scolded. I felt the nurse was "What is your problem? Why can't you get this under control?" type attitude as she sucked on her soft drink. I could hear the straw squeaking  and the ice rattling through the phone. I get this nurse on occasion, and I DO NOT LIKE HER.  "Well I just don't know, Did you eat a snack before bed? You know, Did you take this at a different time of day because you SLEPT IN?"
Yes, I eat my snack before bed. But she never actually waits for me to answer these questions.  And NO I did not sleep in. 5 out of those 7 days I WORK, so sleeping in is not possible. Plus, I don't know, I'm PREGNANT and everyone knows pregnant women get up to pee A LOT. My body is so condition to wake to pee it is chart-able. And if I did manage to attempt to sleep in Puppy would not be havin it! She needs to pee too. She also questions the manner in which I report my levels. The App I have on my phone lists the dates from most recent to which ever previous date you tell it. And she complains EVERY SINGLE TIME that she read it wrong because of how I reported it.  Seriously? How about you, I don't know ACTUALLY READ what is written? This is MEDICALLY important information, maybe SCANNING it isn't the right way to do it? Ya' Know?
I am stressed out enough as it is about the whole Gestational Diabetes thing, I don't need your judgement on top of it. I've been considering asking my Dr's office to please not have her call me back, but I really don't know if it is worth it.
Speaking of stressing out, did I tell you, my digital friends, that Mrs Mannerless cornered me in my office and questioned me about my sugar test? Yes, she did. Then she proceeded to tell me, as she whipped out her phone to check dates, that, "Oh, they'll start talking to you about being induced in October."
Oh? I was unaware that you had a medical degree.
"Did I tell you the EXTREMELY funny story about the dream I had before I went in to labor?"
Please dear Lord, NO.
 I'll save you from the details, but it wasn't really all that funny, it was actually, disturbing. As was  her LABOR STORY. I need to bleach my brain just thinking about it.
"If you want to hear a good labor story come talk to me!!!  Don't go to the other two ladies [who have birth around the same time], they have HORROR stories! Come see me!"
Luckily she only gave me an overview of her labor and delivery story. I continue to try and avoid her. At least once a week one of my co-workers tells me "She is CRAZY!"
Yes, I know, in more detail then I think you'd like to know.

Sugar levels, disagreement on names, which freaking car seat out of A MILLION we should choose, can I handle sewing curtains for the nursery, which crib will I finally decide on, will the nursery be ready in, all of the out-laws possibly coming to visit while I am in my ninth month, who will watch said baby once he arrives; these are just a FEW of the things on my mind.
And I can't even indulge in a Dunkin Donuts Vanilla Chi Latte to give me a small moment of peace.
How is that fair?

News FLASH: I Have No Patience

I am trying to avoid turning this Blog into ALL BABY ALL THE TIME, I don't know if I can, but I will try. So this post will be about how freaking stupid people are. Some of it is Baby related, some of it not. But this is what has been boiling my blood lately.
"Do your boobs hurt?"  
We are not friends, you are a co-worker, this is an inappropriate question.

*Making a face when I tell you names we are considering* 
If you are going to be an ass about it, don't ask! Seriously, I'm not offering, and it is rude. It is not like we are considering Babi Boi, or Owher Cyd.  And I am sorry to my pregnancy partner because I just realized I've done this to you.

*Touching my stomach*
Granted this has only happened once, but seriously, I DID NOT KNOW THE PERSON. Why do people think this is ok?

*Coming to work while sick, with MONO* 
Um, really? I know we have covered this in the past, but seriously, MONO. "You can only get it through saliva". Well ok then, so if your husband isn't sick, and your kid isn't sick, or anyone in your family then, pray tell, how did YOU catch it?
"A person with mono can also pass the disease by coughing or sneezing, causing small droplets of infected saliva and/or mucus to be suspended in the air which can be inhaled by others. Sharing food or beverages from the same container or utensil can also transfer the virus from one person to another since contact with infected saliva may result. The incubation period for mono, meaning the time from the initial viral infection until the appearance of symptoms, is between four and six weeks. During an infection, a person is likely able to transmit the virus to others for at least a few weeks. Research has shown that, depending on the method used to detect the virus, anywhere from 20%-80% of people who have had mononucleosis and have recovered, will continue to secrete the EBV in their saliva for years due to periodic "reactivation" of the viral infection. Since healthy people without symptoms also secrete the virus during reactivation episodes throughout their lifetime, isolation of people infected with EBV is not necessary. It is currently believed that these healthy people, who nevertheless secrete EBV particles, are the primary reservoir for transmission of EBV among humans." 

Well thank you WebMD, that is not at all comforting. Please inform my Boss and HR that is this possible, they seem to think all is well. Even for us pregnant folks.

*Bringing your cell phone/iPad to a meeting*  
If you are bringing the iPad to take notes that is totally fine. But if you are responding to emails or surfing the web, that is NOT cool. Answering your cell? Also not cool. Leaving to answer your cell? Again, NOT cool, but at least you realize that talking on it during a meeting is not the way to go.

*Arriving late to/Leaving early from a meeting or mandatory training* 
 I do not understand why this is allowed to happen. You are not that important. Trust me, I know what you do for a living and the world will go on if you are unavailable for an hour. And the mandatory training? It is MANDATORY because *hint* YOU ALL SUCK  at what we trained you on before.  And since it is specialized to each group; attending the "Last 15 minutes of the next one"  IS NOT GOING TO BE THE SAME.  Along the same lines? Falling asleep during training. TRUE STORY.
*Continuing to ask me for data that I have already told you I do not supply*
Oddly, this keeps coming from the person who falls asleep in training.

*Calling one group out on hate speech, but not calling out your own group's hate speech*
My Aunt continues to do this via Face Book. I really have to sit on my hands or otherwise we would be in a consistent battle. Today I decided that from now on I will remove her comments like this. I cannot stand hypocrites.

What makes your blood boil? Do you tell people off or just let it slide? DO TELL!!!

Let the TMI Begin

You, my digital friends have been introduced to Mrs Mannerless. Mrs. Mannerless has often cornered her pregnancy partner and regaled her with all manner of stories and updates, much to her PP's displeasure. Let us call Mrs. Mannerless' pregnancy partner Rustie. (yes Rustie is a woman, a very nice one at that. Trust me on this.) Mrs. Mannerless and Rustie had their babies not even a week apart and therefore were on maternity leave at the same time. When they got back Rustie went to Mrs Mannerless' cube to inquiry about her and the baby.  Since Mrs. Mannerless sits near me I over heard the entire thing.
Rustie: "Hey, how are you?"
Mrs. Mannerless: "I'm fine. If you came here just to chat I really have A LOT of work to do and DO NOT have time to talk."
*stunned silence*
Rustie: "oh, well, I just thought I'd see how things went with your delivery. And how things are now.............."
Mrs. Mannerless: "Everything went well.....blah blah blah...whatever else she said."
RUDE!!!!!!!!! Completely and utterly rude! Yes, I will give her that she had a lot of work to do, maybe. But to be so completely and utterly rude is just, amazing.
After this little exchange Mrs Mannerless apparently changed her tune and has since decided that Rustie is her new bestie and shares EVERYTHING with her. She seem to also rather enjoy degrading Rustie's mothering skills.
The following was relayed to me via text directly from Rustie:
"Today's direct quote: "I know you don't make his own baby food but I'm super mom."
Rustie was of course completely floored by the matter of fact manner in which this was stated. She however cannot bring herself to tell Mrs Mannerless off because she's just not that kind of person.

It is because of things like this that I have been DREADING the time when  Mrs Mannerless brought her sage advice to me.
I didn't have to wait long and I was greatly validated where my sense of dread lay.

Mrs Mannerless plants herself in my cube doorway and inquires and to my plans concerning breast feeding. Mind you Mrs Mannerless is an avid breast feeder and DEMANDED time off during the day in order to leave work to go feed her child at daycare AND then a place to pump throughout the day. Our small office doesn't not employ enough people to fall under the law on supplying a Lactation Station, but they accommodated her. It has recently become common knowledge that she would extend her time in there by watching TV online on the computer in the set aside office. The computer was removed to prevent this time stealing task, which she circumvented by taking along her iPad.
That aside, let me get back to my main story.  I answered her inquiry truthfully and told her I was hoping to breastfeed. And that my digital friends is where I made my mistake. Mrs. Mannerless launches into her HORROR STORY of the lactation nurses at the local hospital. Let me just say here, that it was truly horrible and I would have been swearing bloody murder if I had been treated in such a manner, but what I didn't need, now or ever is her visual help aid. 
She told how her doula informed many of the people on the hospital staff that the baby's tongue was misshapen and therefore would  have problems latching on during breast feeding. Apparently they all choose to tune out said information when trying to help Mrs Mannerless feed her baby. When she would ask for help or complain to the lactation nurses they were rude, abrupt and completely unhelpful.  She told me that on more than one occasion they would grab her breast and shove it into the baby's mouth saying THERE, he's feeding, you just need to try harder!

Bitches! I cannot imagine being treated in such a manner!!! I still feel for her. Despite the fact that upon telling me this portion of the story she grabbed said breast to give me a visual aid to go along with her story.
Let me repeat. As she stood half in my cube and half in the hallway, SHE GRABBED HER BOOB and recreated the shoving and pinching motions for my better understanding.
Um, yeah.  I did not need to see that, let alone to help me better visual it happening while her breast was naked. I do however thank her for the warning, because no one man handles the girls, NO ONE.
Add to that Crazy Co-Worker telling me how I shouldn't be wearing my shoes and how said shoes won't fit me through the summer, and I can see why women used to leave the work force until after they give birth.

Sailing along in a Whirlpool…

  “Hurry up and Wait.” 

I remember when my sixth grade music teacher announced to us new sixth graders that is was going to be the way of the world from here on out. Even at the all-knowing age of 13, this concept dawned anew, yet very wise to me.  You tend to forgot this, when you are waiting for 45 minutes in a paper gown on crinkled paper atop a pleather table, or on hold with the electric company; but I think if we kept it in mind during these moments it would help alleviate some of our blood pressure issues.

My most recent case of “Hurry Up and Wait” pertains to the Short Sale of my house.  Things were sailing along rather smoothly despite the Mortgage Company and their feet dragging ways or the buyer deciding they needed to be an LLC and the Mortgage Company saying no.  We had moved past that. The Mortgage Company came with an offer, PAY US MONEY for the next five years and we’ll call it good. I, in need to be done with this, was ready to jump at the offer as is. Our Attorney, (and F) decided it would be best to go back to the Mortgage Company with our pockets out and the lint dangling from our elbows as we croakedly asked, “Please Sir, can you make it less?”

Fine, less out of our pockets is a good thing. I agree. But time is of the essence here, and all this back and forth takes TIME. Lots and LOTS of time.  Mortgage Companies move SLOWLY, even when it comes to collecting your money. Just read the news about how far behind they are on foreclosures, at least a year.  So I was settled in for a long wait. Our Realtor had told us at the onset of the process that the minimum was six months.  We are at month FOUR from the ORGINIAL offer.  On October 19^th  the Original Buyer decided to be an LLC. We then moved through changing names and resubmitting the NEW Buyer offer to the Mortgage Company. New Buyer appeared on October 28^th.  That puts us at TWO AND A HALF months. As opposed to SIX.  Am I wrong that I started counting over when we had to change names? That took time.  Plus the Original Buyer took a little trip out of the country and papers weren’t getting signed or notarized, and that was a cluster.  So here we are, two and a half months later, after THREE major holidays, and the “Buyer” Original or New I am not sure, is “(g)etting antsy.” So says the Buyer Realtor.

Seriously dude?  Now I know I thought your realtor was kinda flaky, but I at least figured since she made such a show of how many short sales she was juggling she would have told you that this takes time. Months of time.  Apparently, I was correct in my judgment of her lack of sense.  I gave her too much credit.  Silly me. I do have a problem when it comes to going with my gut instincts. It has been an issue I have struggled with since childhood.  That aside, I truly do hope the ants get out of your pants, or I may be suing you for mental anguish if you pull out of this sale. I cannot take much more of this.

Patience is a virtue. 

Please have some of both.

Baby Bump Frump

Hark back my dear digital readers to a time when Mrs. Nosey was the main thorn in my side. This post, little did I know at the time, would be the first time you’d meet Mrs. Mannerless full on.  Mrs. Mannerless was one of Mrs. Nosey’s victims in this post.   Mrs. Mannerless is the complete opposite from Mrs. Manners, let me tell you.  When Mrs. Mannerless started about a year ago she was one of the replacements for Crocs lady and Ms Snippy. At first we rejoiced that Crocs lady and Ms Snippy were gone! YAY!!! HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!!! No more rudeness!!! No more complaining about stupid shit! Finally, the little things we do for others would be appreciated.

Um, yeah, NO. The first time I had any interaction with Mrs. Mannerless, was shortly after she started.  You would think that this would be the time to impress people right? First impressions and all? I should have known then. SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. I was expressing my displeasure to Mrs. Mannerless about a co-worker who had different standards for their own work related time lines than what they had for other people’s work related time lines.  Mrs. Mannerless proceeds to tell me that at her OLD job people would always make excuses for why their work wasn’t done. At this point in the conversation we were in complete agreement. She then continues to tell me how annoyed she would get that people complained about her and her lack of friendliness.

“They didn’t like me much over there.  They complained that I wasn’t nice enough to other people. I guess they wanted me to say ‘Hi how was your weekend? Can I have that report today?’ Instead of just telling them, 'I need the report!'  I don’t come to work to make friends; I come to work to WORK!!”

My mouth fell open, I can tell you that. I have very little interaction with Mrs. Mannerless, but I can tell you, she thinks she is never wrong, even though clearly she is. I had to turn a situation over to our Boss because Mrs. Mannerless refused, FLAT OUT REFUSED that the mistake was on her end. “I don’t know what to tell you, my stuff isn’t wrong.”  I don’t think I need to say, that, um, yeah, it was.

Anyway, Mrs. Mannerless and the other pregnant lady were both having issues with their pregnancies, and were due within days of each other. So we needed to have their baby showers ASAP. And because they were so close with their due dates, we decided it would be best to have a joint baby shower. We consulted both parties as to when would be a good time to throw this little shin-dig and the first lady responded with a short little e-mail giving us the dates available. Mrs. Mannerless gave us a detailed listing of why certain days would not work, or might work, but really she just wasn’t sure since she was SO BUSY and could deliver at any moment!  And oh, BTW, don’t buy me any 0-9 month clothing, because I received PLENTLY of those from my OTHER SHOWER. And would really like to have stuff from my Babies-R-Us* registry.

Well, Yes. Why thank you for being completely thorough.

We took time to go buy decorations for the shower, ordered a cake, bought food, even had games, the whole 9. I missed the actual shower because I had to leave to get insurance for my house.  Different story, I might tell you about it. Anyway, Mrs. Mannerless continued with her shower related shenagains  by complaining that her name was on the cake in PINK, and didn’t we know she was having a BOY? We were unaware what the other lady was having so we had the cake done in pink and blue. How were we to know that by not specifying the COLOR of the FROSTING on a CAKE, we would be offending someone?  We collected money for both ladies to purchase gift cards so that they may buy what they wanted/needed from their registry at Babies-R-Us*. I’m sure you will be completely shocked by the fact that Mrs. Mannerless garnered less monetarily than did the other lady. Mrs. Mannerless felt that we took the easy way out by getting said gift cards. She announced this feeling in front of 2 of her bosses and the other pregnant lady. During the party. Our Big Boss got up and left she was so disgusted by it. Needless to say those of us who planned said shower were greatly incensed upon hearing these complaints. I threatened to go take the lame gift card back from her and tell her that she gets nothing! How about nothing you ungrateful bitch!?!?!

So imagine, if you will our out and out rage and disgust upon further learning that Mrs. Mannerless was quite unhappy with having to share her baby shower with someone else.  An office mate with whom she openly discussed her pregnancy issues for nine months. And daycare needs. And god only knows what else.

I shared my office bridal shower with 2 other brides and 2 pregnant ladies. This is how it works in the office setting.  We come here to WORK after all, not socialize.

Ahem.

I hear HR is going to inform Mrs. Mannerless that is inappropriate to be an ungrateful, unsociable, unfriendly bitch.

Damn that she is already on maternity leave.

Sell Already, PLEASE

I’ve told you about the Short Sale.  It is currently in a holding pattern because the Buyer sent back his “I swear I’m not going to flip this house” affidavit back without it being notarized.  Seriously, F and I don’t understand how the Mortgage company can make such demands of him, but whatevs, if he is willing to sign it, it is up to him either not do it, or do it and not get caught; and it is up to the Mortgage company to enforce it. Right? F and I are completely out of that part of the equation. FINE BY ME.  Our Attorney also keeps asking for the Buyer’s proof of funds, but I swear to you, it was sent. And I forwarded it to him AGAIN the other day. He even told me back when he first got it that he used it as an example in another short sale for the buyer there. I really don’t need the added stress that is swirling around right now.

If  THAT isn’t enough, said VACANT house seems to be living it up while I’m not there. Lights blazing, washer/dryer/dishwasher/fridge all partying it up because last month the electric bill was $190.00. ONE HUNDRED NINETY DOLLARS. For an empty house. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?? That is $50 dollars MORE than what F and I are paying at a house we are living in, full time. With lights and cell phone charges and TVs and tons of other stuff running pretty much nonstop.  Look at the usage. “My” house: 1128 KWH. “Our” house? 741 KWH. With two people living in it. And a dog who listens to classical music while her owners are gone so she has less separation anxiety. And 2 tvs, and a fridge and microwave and well, you get the idea.

I just got off the phone with the Electric Company.  They are adjusting the bill, AGAIN. It was wrong last month too.  I think $88 bucks is a much more reasonable amount, don’t you? Let us hope we don’t have to go through this again next month, because seriously, I will go cut those lines myself.

Now I get to call the Gas Company.

Where’s the assistant who handles all this stuff?

Oh right, I’m not rich, so I have to do it myself.

Damn it.

OMG, Will it Make That Much Difference?

Sooooooooo, the Mortgage Company  has received our paperwork concerning the Short Sale. Remember the Buyer agreed to up his price to $32,500?  The Mortgage Company wants us to "counter with $35,000", because that extra $2,500 is going to make such a huge difference.  Seriously, I don't get it.  If they Fuck up this sale for $2,500 I am going to be extremely pissed and in need of very heavy amounts of medication.
What a crock of shit this whole process is. I had to fill out and sign an  affidavit that I am in financial trouble and I also have to fill out AGAIN my income stats AND supply bank records. Even though we filled all that crap out and supplied it to the attorney like 6 months ago. I'm pretty sure he turned that all in with our original paperwork.
I should have gone for a liquid lunch.

I Hope I Didn't Just Jinx Myself With This Post

Remember when I told you our Tenant moved out and we decided to put the house up for sale?  Well, we did that.  I’m crossing my fingers right now and spitting as I turn three times in a circle because we are currently: “Sale Pending”. We listed the house at the beginning of June at $59,900.  We dropped it $10 grand each month-ish.  The offer came in when the price was listed at $39,900. The offer was $30,000.  I asked if the “buyer” was willing to go higher, and it came back at $32,500.  So there you have it people, I paid $130,000 five years ago (right before the market started to tumble) and I am selling for almost $100,000 less than what I paid for it. Thank you Mortgage companies who made hinky deals for years, thank you so much for crashing the housing market and screwing me twice.

Ahem. Now that the purchase agreement has been finalized it is up to our Lawyer to convince the Mortgage company to “forgive the debt” so I don’t have to pay taxes on the difference between what I owe, $108,000ish and what I am selling it for, see above, I can’t bring myself to type it again.  Thankfully the Buyer knows that the sale is dependent on the Mortgage Company agreeing to the sale price, so we shouldn’t lose the sale because of a long process with the Mortgage Company. To be honest with you, I would be willing pay the “income taxes” on the difference just as long as we get rid of the house.  We need to be done with my little house.  This needs to be completed by the end of 2012. I know that some Mortgage companies drag their feet for up to six months.  Please Lord no.   So please keep your digital fingers crossed for us that this is a quick and painless process.  Pray that the Mortgage Company has come to its senses and now understands that they don’t want to lose the sale. Foreclosure really isn’t an option for me because it kills my credit score for about 10years. So, yeah, come on Mortgage Company!!!!

On top of all this the Insurance Company has decided NOT to renew the policy on the house because it is no longer occupied as per the policy. So yeah, I need to get my ass in gear and find an insurance company that is willing to insure a vacant property for less than an arm and a leg by October 12.  This is very distressing for me in ways I cannot even explain because if the house burns down without insurance coverage we are completely screwed in so many ways.  But I fear that because there are so many vacant properties out there the Insurance companies have wised up and are no longer in the business of insuring them. Unless of course you are willing to become their slave. I am not willing to be a slave. However I do see that in the long run a short period as a slave may be well worth it in order to get the house sold.

Oh, did I mention that F’s vehicle is now leaking anti-freeze? Yep.  No A/C, a window that won’t go up, and leaking anti-freeze. I know, it could be worse, even though we did just shell out $1,700 bucks this spring to have the head gaskets replaced. We need to drive this car until it dies. But it seems to be dying much faster than we anticipated.

Also? We think Puppy is developing Separation Anxiety. Ever since the “Cone of Shame” she barks, whines, cries and BARKS every morning when I leave. I cannot tell you how much this breaks my heart.  She has eaten her crate beds, ($35 EACH) and a regular pillow that she was allowed to lay on.  She has bent the bars on her crate, and has managed moved the crate across the floor by several feet. She has chewed on her little water dish that is attached to the side of her crate. She has peed on her crate bed.

F and I are beside ourselves with worry. We are hoping that once she realizes that the cone of shame is gone she will revert back to normal.  I of course fear the worst. That we have mentally messed up our little Puppy and we will have to medicate her each day so she doesn’t end up hurting herself. Again, please Lord; No.

It is times like these when the title of this entire blog is in full force, garish neon lighting truth.

Keep Your Grubby Hands Off My FOOD *UPDATED* *AGAIN*

I just went into the kitchen at work to check on the state of my salad fixings. I bought a container of salad, and brought in smaller containers of the toppings to keep in the fridge for a week's worth of lunches. Imagine my boiling rage when I discover that someone has INTIMATELY TOUCHED my food containers.  The container which held my lettuce was OPEN and two of my toppings containers where placed INSIDE on TOP of the lettuce. The lettuce underneath it was wilted and disgusting. I am so FLIPPING PISSED OFF right now I cannot even tell you. I understand MOVING things around to make more room for other stuff. I have NO PROBLEM with that. But OPENING, OPENING someone's container of food? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??? And it is not as if the shelves in a COMMUNITY FRIDGE are exactly CLEAN. So whatever nastiness was on the BOTTOM of my two containers from sitting on the shelf was transferred to MY FOOD. MY FOOD.   My LABELED food. Hence how the culprit knew the items went together.
I posted a note on the fridge. Sans the swearing. I'm awaiting the lunch time back lash.
Where are people's manners? Who does shit like this? WHO?!?!?!

**UPDATE**
The Culprit wrote me a note back, but then removed it. A co-worker told me what it said since I only noticed  that it was missing AND that there was blue Sharpie marks where it  had been hanging.

"It was already open and wilted."


Well of COURSE then! That it an open invitation to do with it what you will! TOUCH AWAY!!!! No need to be HELPFUL and maybe close the container! Heck NO! Add more stuff to it! Rearrange away!!!
BE MY GUEST. Contaminate my food with fridge shelf dirt. It'll put hair on my chest. Just where I need it.

SERIOUSLY Person? SERIOUSLY? I am assuming you saw the error of your ways and hence removed the note after you wrote on it. I can only but hope that is the case and you didn't just chicken out and remove the note for fear of being found out.
Be aware however, I will be checking trash cans tonight after work, because I have a fair good idea who you are, Mrs. Nosey.

**** I was unable to locate the note. I still have no concrete evidence that Mrs Nosey is behind it. But I still harbor my suspicions.******

Check the box, Wait; No, Sign Here; Wait, No, Initial Here that You Checked The Box

The place I work is a smaller part of a larger company, separate; but equal. So we piggyback onto their insurance for greater bargaining power. In an effort to cut health insurance costs, they are checking to make sure the people who are using their insurance really deserve to be using their insurance. Completely understandable. I am one of those people, so I received the paperwork to fill out concerning F’s eligibility. There are several choices of documentation you can supply in order to verify that you are married or living together (i.e. living in sin) (totally did that.). The very first choice given is a copy of your Federal Tax Return. How much easier do you want it? Tax season just ended a few months ago, so this paper work should be extremely easy to locate, right? Right.


You can also supply a combination of various other documents. Like your marriage license and a mortgage statement with both your names on it. Or your marriage license and some bill with both your names on it. These last few choices would not work for us because both our names are not on any bills (who does this?) and we each have our own mortgage (my house, his “our” house). So you can see why I opted for the ease of the tax return. Of course this is proving to be a bit trickier because we filed electronically and they want the electronic tax filing number thingie which I am having trouble locating, but that isn’t the reason I’m writing this. I got the paperwork the last week of June with a deadline of August 13th. An entire MONTH to hunt up and mail your tax return. Simple, right? Apparently for the highly educated people in the company this is proving to be too stressful and too tight of a time constraint. Something I gathered from the e-mail the H.R. department just sent out.

Seriously people, an entire month isn’t enough time??? Unbelievable.

Dear [Employees],

We have received numerous concerns and questions regarding the time-line of the dependent eligibility verification project, listening and understanding your concerns we have made the decision to extend the deadline to submit documents until Friday, September 15, 2011. Your documents must be postmarked or received by [Random Consultant Firm] by Friday September 15, 2011.


As discussed in our earlier announcement, this verification is a part of our ongoing effort to control health care costs by ensuring that only eligible dependents are covered under our medical plans. [Random Consultant Firm], an independent firm, has been authorized to obtain your documentation.

By now, you should have received your initial packet containing detailed instructions. Also, we have been notified of long wait times when calling the Customer Service Call Center. [Random Consultant Firm] has acknowledged and is in the process of rectifying this problem. Please continue to communicate any problems that you are experiencing with the Customer Service Call Center to the [Employer] Benefits Office.

In addition, we have received concerns regarding the submission of your personal information to [Random Consultant Firm] please know that protecting your personal information is of grave importance to [Employer] and [Random Consultant Firm]. [Random Consultant Firm] has assured us that all documents provided during the dependent eligibility verification will be securely stored and protected through physical, electronic and procedural safeguards. In an effort to communicate the confidentiality safeguards that [Random Consultant Firm] has in place they have provided us with a frequently asked security questions document, which is posted on the benefits website, please click on the following click to access the document http://www.[redacted]/Forms/dependenteligibilityverificationfaqs.pdf

We understand the time and effort that it takes to locate the appropriate documentation (your just filed tax return) and we appreciate your cooperation with this verification project. Should you any questions regarding this process, please contact the Customer Service Call Center at (redacted) redacted.

Again, your documentation has to be postmarked or received by [Random Consultant Firm] by the extended due date of Friday, September 15, 2011.


Sincerely,

Director of Benefit Programs



So now, TWO and HALF months to send this stuff in. I do have to say, I called the company about locating the e-file tax number and if it would be ok to send in the confirmation e-mails I got, THREE days ago and no one has gotten back to me. EVEN THOUGH their message says that if you leave a voice mail they will return your call by the end of business the next day. Again, that was THREE days ago. So this company? SUCKS. I am at the point now where I am going to send it in with a note saying, um, yeah, I called you guys for answers and no one called me back, so here ya go. DEAL.

I may be writing you later this fall to tell you F is no longer covered under my insurance, but at least I’ll feel like I made a point. Maybe.

***They just called me. Fricking ridiculous!!! I have to fill in his SS# even though, EVEN THOUGH it is on the Tax form, which she then tells me the first 5 digits should be blacked out. Um, then I need to supply it to you again anyway?
"Yes, so we know the information came from you."
I, what??? I did the taxes so that information came from me. Seriously, who puts these things into practice??? It makes no sense.*****

Come With Me, My Digital Friends, On A Short Sale Journey

We listed the house. We hired an attorney. After dropping off my "short sale packet" and laying down the $1,750.00 in retainer fee (this shows up as still pending on the website so now I think maybe we don't have a lawyer?), I get back to my office and read this extremely cheery article about how things are looking up!  NOT. I then topped off that wonderful news with an entire sunny weekend spent inside cleaning said house. Note to future and or current Landlords, DO NOT ALLOW PETS. I don't even want to relive the cleaning of black dog hair for your understanding. I really don't. But just let me say, I almost gagged the one millionth time I got one in my mouth. Behind the stove we found onion peels, dog hair, the dog's ball, and MASSIVE AMOUNTS of GREASE.  Now normally, I can't say that I clean behind my own stove and fridge like EVER, but I certainly will start now.  I don't think in the 3 years Tenant lived there that the curtains were ever washed. Now this is something I do DO. I desperately need to dry clean several sets but F would have a massive coronary at the price. Over the two days I had to keep reminding myself that it could have been oh so much worse, so very very much.  But I think since it was never intended to be an income property, I have different feelings about how it should have been respected. I was LETTING Tenant live in my home, and it should have been respected as such. I know, that is expecting too much. But that is how I felt. I also had to keep reminding myself that I don't wash my walls on a regular basis and therefore I need to stop bitching about how dirty they were. Light colored walls really show the dirt. My mom, the amazing trooper that she is, used Comet on the entry way walls. Yes, Comet. Dirt is not the new black. But now the house is all sparkly clean. And I feel better about it looking nice to sell.  We even had a showing that very weekend, but still have not heard back about. It does make me a tad concerned. How long could this drag on? Our realtor told us that with one house they just closed on, they started back in October, of 2010. Seriously? The bank/mortgage company dragged it's feet for SIX months. That is insane. So here we sit, waiting. Will it sell? And if it DOES sell, will the bank/mortgage company "forgive" the remainder? I owe $107K, the houses in the surrounding area have gone for anywhere between $25K to $40K.  How is that even right? I don't even want to do the math. The short sale will show up on my credit report, for at least 3 years and will lop off a good 120 points, if not more.  If the bank/mortgage company does not "forgive" the difference between what is owed and what the house sold for, I could end up paying taxes on the "income". Even though it never actually will come in to me. It will go directly to the bank. Again, how does that work? I just don't get it. Then to top it all off? Tenant stiffed us with $510 water bill.  Well now, isn't that special? It completely explains why almost a month after moving out Tenant has not contacted us about getting back the security deposit. Half of which will now go towards paying said water bill and the late fees/penalties. SES told me that even though the Lease states if Tenant does not contact us within 4 days to tells us where to send said security deposit they are SOL, I STILL have to make some attempt just in case Tenant decides to get all legal and demand the remainder. Which I don't believe will happen, but I still need to CYA.  Again, how does that work? You stiff me and yet I still need to let you know that you can have your money back?  WTF?
So keep your fingers crossed my digital friends, that the house sells at the highest price possible and that the mortgage company/bank forgives it, and does so in a timely manner so that F and I can move on with our lives. Bad credit and all.
 Or as I like to refer to it, SCREWING ME TWICE over the same house. Because really, it only makes complete sense that after you fuck up the housing market you still get to makes the rules about how to unfuck it up.
Totally logical.

Mrs. Nosey, Meet Karma; She's A Bitch

Mrs. Nosey got called out on her lack of work ethic (says the woman who blogs while at work, ahem.).
Anyway, for years now people have been complaining of Mrs. Nosey work habits.  Excessive personal phone calls, excessive Internet time, excessive long lunches, excessive unmet deadlines, excessive mistakes and excessive gossiping. Ok, so I added that last one in there. It may have been touched on, I don't know. It SHOULD have been, I know THAT for sure. 

If you are unfamiliar with Mrs. Nosey's past transgressions, please read this, this, this and this.

Apparently while our Boss was gone for a few days Mrs Nosey took it upon herself to up and disappear for a few hours. No one knew where she was. She ostensibly denied all of the above. To our Boss. And THEN she confronted one of her cube mates as the tattler. True enough, she had tattled, but she denied it as well. Not completely though, stating that is USED to bother her, but no longer did. LIE.  Mrs. Nosey told said cube mate that what she did was none of her business and that she was going to go tell our Boss every time cube mate gets and sends text messages. 3 grade called, they want their playground fights back. Mrs. Nosey assumed, incorrectly that her other cube mate was completely blameless. She too had complained. I do not know if she fessed up or not.
Mrs. Nosey's co-job mate(who is the true #1 tattler, but as yet remains un-accused) informed me that Mrs. Nosey blames ME for tattling about her phone usage. I sit 2.5 inches worth of felt cube wall away from Mrs. Nosey, and hence indeed do hear many of her excessive phone calls. However, I had no idea any of this was even going on until I complained about the other accused cube mate's excessive outbursts over news headlines.  So when my Boss mentioned Mrs. Nosey's phone usage I concurred that it was indeed excessive.

OH! I just remember another story about Mrs Nosey from awhile ago.  Her co-job mate from above is in some manner her supervisor. We'll call her Ma'am, she is the oldest woman in our office.  Anyway, Ma'am has been going through some family related issues. Ma'am confided (oxymoron) to Mrs. Nosey about these issues, and made her promise to not tell anyone in the office.  Mrs. Nosey turned around the very next day and told Crazy Co-Worker.  CCW in turn quietly approached Ma'am to find out if it was factual.  Ma'am confirmed that is was and queried as to where CCW got her intel.  CCW of course said Mrs. Nosey told her.
Are you ready for this?
Hold onto your hats.
Seriously, you are not going to believe this.
When Ma'am confronted Mrs. Nosey face to face, Mrs. Nosey FLAT OUT DENIED it. CCW overheard the whole thing because SHE sits 2.5 inches of felt cube wall away from Ma'am.
Ma'am relayed the whole thing to me of her own free will. She will no longer confide in Mrs. Nosey.
CCW was steamed when she overheard Mrs. Nosey's denial. Which could of course paint CCW as a liar.

Mrs. Nosey called off work today. I can't imagine why.

Our next staff meeting is going to be a delight.

I cannot wait.

Mrs Nosey; It Never Ends

A new story concerning Mrs. Nosey. We have a small building, but we still require a Building Manager. Our Building Manager is currently out for several months because of some SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue. In Building Manager's absence, people were handpicked by said Building Manager to handle all building related duties. Building Manager mistakenly assigned Mrs. Nosey some duties. Building Manager also mistakenly told Mrs. Nosey what the SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue was. Of course because it is a SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue, Mrs. Nosey was sworn to SECRECY. Such an Oxymoron that statement. Anyway, after Building Manager told Mrs. Nosey about her assigned duties and the SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue, Building Manager walked in on Mrs. Nosey telling an; as of this posting, undisclosed co-worker EXACTLY what the SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue was/is. Yes, that is right. She was BUSTED red handed. From what I am told Building Manager did not put the smack down on Mrs. Nosey even though she was; and rightly so, livid. Which, I really don't understand how she managed to control herself, but she is a less violent person than me apparently.


I swear this woman NEVER learns. Days later, she shouts out a question to Building Manager about when the SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue is supposed to take place. From down the hall. Where there are many offices located.

Really???????????????????????

OMFG. How has she not been written up? I do not comprehend this AT ALL. Unpaid leave maybe? SOMETHING to get through her thick ass skull.

As F would say “How about a FIST to her FACE???”

Do you think HR would do something then?

Mrs Nosey: The After Math

Remember this post from the other day about outing co-workers' pregnancies? Our direct boss decided that we needed a refresher about respecting others. So in our monthly meeting within my group she told us we needed to respect others and not share information that would otherwise be private. I was watching Mrs Nosey to see what her reaction would be, there was no reaction. She was completely clueless that the incident we were referring to was hers. After about 5 minutes Mrs Nosey finally says, "Wait, are you talking about the Big Monthly meeting??? The one where I told about the gals' (everyone is a gal, no matter how old) being pregnant??"
Boss: "Yes, actually I am."
Mrs Nosey: "Did someone say something??? Was someone offended???????????"
Then followed a 10 minute discussion where in she kept saying, "But everyone already knew!!!!!!!"
Our Boss finally said, " I didn't know."
"Well, EVERYONE besides you knew. *giggle*"
"People knew indirectly, but no formal announcement was made."
COMPLETELY DUMBSTRUCK. She just could NOT understand why what she did was wrong because EVERYONE already knew. I managed to keep silent for the most part. Others, who normally keep silent actually spoke up.  I wanted to scream at her, "HOW STUPID ARE YOU???? If they didn't  SPEAK UP when the Big Boss asked, what makes you think it was OK FOR YOU TO DO IT FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????" But I did not. I sat and ground my teeth instead.  After our meeting, I heard her whispering madly to one of our co-workers who told me later that she still just couldn't understand what the big deal was? Why would they care? SHE wouldn't care. She's very open about EVERYTHING. Yes, we all know you are unhappy in your marriage and are envious of your divorced friends and their carefree life. I would prefer NOT to know that about you. Seriously. The "talking to" she got, in my opinion, was not severe enough. I would have written her up and sent her to sensitivity training. Alas, I am not the Boss. Which for several people here is a VERY good thing.


*** I just found out that she actually may have seen the light. She apologized to one of the women. I was not expecting that AT ALL. But I'm sure she still doesn't completely understand what she did wrong.****

Bold Rudness

Remember how just a few days ago I told you that Mrs. Nosey took it upon herself to announce pregnancies for two of our co-workers? The woman has no boundaries, I swear to God.  This morning before our Boss got in, flowers were delivered to her office. Mrs Nosey went in to said office, exclaimed, "OH! She got flowers! Is it her birthday???"  Our boss's birthday was 2 weeks ago, which one of our co-workers reminded her. "Oh, well. OH!!!! It is her ANNIVERSARY!!!! HHHHmmmmm "To the love of my life (something else I couldn't quite make out)" " "Hmph, if my husband wrote something like THAT(something else I couldn't make out but it was clearly sarcastic)....."

Do you see what just happened there?? She READ the card on our BOSS'S FLOWERS before our Boss even got to see them and then, THEN she criticized what  her husband had written!!!!!!!
The out and out audacity of it all!!!!! It just blows my mind. I almost said something, but I keep biting my tongue. I would  have a very hard time not calling this woman  the "C" word if we ever got into it.
She is so beyond rude I just don't even know how to handle it.

I've Got a Whole Bag of ZIP IT With Your Name On It

We have a meeting each month that encompasses all departments in our building. Since our last meeting two women have semi-announced (read word of mouth) that they are expecting. When the big boss asked if there was any other news that needed to be shared, NEITHER of these women spoke up. The meeting moved on to a few other things and then he asked again, again both women reminded silent. So, our office busybody, Mrs Nosey took it upon herself to announce it FOR THEM. FORCING them to speak up. I cannot tell you how badly I wanted to reach across the table and smack that self-satisfied smile off her face. The one woman even said quietly, “I really didn’t want it announced.”


I just do not understand how she came to the decision that it was upon her to announce something so incredibly personal. I realize that pretty much everyone already knew, but there is certainly an unwritten rule concerning something like this. Isn’t there? Am I crazy? This isn’t an announcement that someone makes for you, unless they are your mother. It goes without saying, she is not their mother.

Is my extreme dislike of this woman coloring my view?? Was it ok for her to “out” these women who were CLEARLY remaining silent during the period in which they could have spoken up for themselves? As much as I would LOVE to put this woman in her place, I realize that that is not MY place. Oh, but how I wish it was. How I wish.

Pay Up BITCH!

I recently got a new credit card and hadn't made a first payment yet.  Six days before it was due I get this e-mail from them:

Date E-mail sent 03/15/2011:
Your [redacted] card payment due date is approaching and we have not yet received your payment. If you have already scheduled your payment, please disregard this notice. Log In to schedule a payment now.



Minimum Payment Due$149.00



Payment Due Date March 21, 2011
 
 
Needless to say, I was a tad freaked out because then I thought I hadn't scheduled it via my online banking(best invention EVER) to make the payment. I quickly logged in and saw that I had made it for the VERY NEXT DAY. I breathed a sigh of relief and then silently cursed out the credit card company for

 unnecessarily raising my stress level. Apparently, Five days early just isn't early enough.

Friendly reminder? Maybe.
Firing squad intensity? Most decidedly.