I was one of several women BF was dating before we decided we wanted to be exclusive. Actually, I told BF no nookie unless he was dating just me, and amazingly he agreed. Anyway, one of the women he saw briefly happens to be an accountant. Last year, and again this year, he paid her to do his taxes. I wasn't too keen on it, but since he was completely up front about it, I didn't fuss. However, this year he informs me that she is going under the knife and he offered to go visit her. AT. Her. HOUSE. while she's recovering. That, I am so NOT keen on. He thinks I'm being crazy, telling me it's a "cultural thing". That if someone you know is ill, you go visit them. I tried to rein in my irrational female while I tried to form a logical argument to make him see my point. As my shrink cousin enlightened me a few weeks ago, you have to think like a man in order to communicate with them, which means being "logical" as opposed to "emotional", and in BF's case I have to be not only logical but have point by point arguments to back-up my logic because he's an engineer. Now, I never thought myself to be overtly emotional when came to making decisions and arguments, but having a full time BF, I'm more a female than I ever imagined. Not that there's anything wrong with that. So I formed my argument from the stand point that if his dentist went under the knife, would he then visit that person at home? Because after all, you are paying them for a service at least twice a year as opposed to once a year such as you do a tax accountant. The answer was of course No. So hence, I concluded, if you are claiming to have the same relationship with this woman (as a paid employee) as you do with your dentist, then it stands to reason that you would in fact NOT go visit her.
He accused me of playing the guilt card.
I countered with it actually being the logic card.
He's not visiting her, at least to my knowledge.