Monday, May 23, 2011

Mrs Nosey; It Never Ends

A new story concerning Mrs. Nosey. We have a small building, but we still require a Building Manager. Our Building Manager is currently out for several months because of some SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue. In Building Manager's absence, people were handpicked by said Building Manager to handle all building related duties. Building Manager mistakenly assigned Mrs. Nosey some duties. Building Manager also mistakenly told Mrs. Nosey what the SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue was. Of course because it is a SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue, Mrs. Nosey was sworn to SECRECY. Such an Oxymoron that statement. Anyway, after Building Manager told Mrs. Nosey about her assigned duties and the SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue, Building Manager walked in on Mrs. Nosey telling an; as of this posting, undisclosed co-worker EXACTLY what the SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue was/is. Yes, that is right. She was BUSTED red handed. From what I am told Building Manager did not put the smack down on Mrs. Nosey even though she was; and rightly so, livid. Which, I really don't understand how she managed to control herself, but she is a less violent person than me apparently.

I swear this woman NEVER learns. Days later, she shouts out a question to Building Manager about when the SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue is supposed to take place. From down the hall. Where there are many offices located.


OMFG. How has she not been written up? I do not comprehend this AT ALL. Unpaid leave maybe? SOMETHING to get through her thick ass skull.

As F would say “How about a FIST to her FACE???”

Do you think HR would do something then?

Friday, May 20, 2011

You Smell Like Roses Dharling........

7:10ish AM interior of a dark house................

I have just exited the shower and am starting to get dressed when I hear my cell ring.

Me: "Hello? What's up?"

F: "OH. I wasn't expecting you to answer."

Me: "um,ok, what's up??"

F: "Well I was wondering if you could bring me my cologne on your way to work??"

Me: "Uh, NO. I have to go to my mom's this morning before work(she's coming home from the south for the summer and I turn all her stuff back on for her before she gets here.), I can't come to your work AND go to my mom's. I guess you'll just have to smell like soap."

F: "Well, but my shirt smells musty." (our basement and closets get this musty smell during the summer despite the dehumidifier we have. If you know of a way to fix this please let me know.)

Me: "Oh, I'm sorry babe. Go to the store and buy some Frebreze."

F: " Gee, thanks a lot hon."

Me: "Sorry."

Does this remind you of the time he wanted me to go to Target for him to get mouthwash and shaving cream? Yeah, me too.
Mothers of young boys, please do your future daughter in law a favor and teach your sons how to Man up and go to the store by themselves. Seriously.  I have a bottle of Frebreze at my office for just such occasions. Also a Tide pen, which would have spot treated the "Lunch mishap" on his pants yesterday as well.

*insert eye roll and sigh here.*

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Sh*t F Says In His Sleep

"You STUPID, FUCKING Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Are you STILL looking at that??" *giggle"

"I just want to go back to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.........."

This was all said in one night, this was actually a SLOW evening.
Do you know how hard it is to remember what someone says in their sleep when you are half asleep yourself? Not easy digital folks, not easy at all.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Mrs Nosey: The After Math

Remember this post from the other day about outing co-workers' pregnancies? Our direct boss decided that we needed a refresher about respecting others. So in our monthly meeting within my group she told us we needed to respect others and not share information that would otherwise be private. I was watching Mrs Nosey to see what her reaction would be, there was no reaction. She was completely clueless that the incident we were referring to was hers. After about 5 minutes Mrs Nosey finally says, "Wait, are you talking about the Big Monthly meeting??? The one where I told about the gals' (everyone is a gal, no matter how old) being pregnant??"
Boss: "Yes, actually I am."
Mrs Nosey: "Did someone say something??? Was someone offended???????????"
Then followed a 10 minute discussion where in she kept saying, "But everyone already knew!!!!!!!"
Our Boss finally said, " I didn't know."
"Well, EVERYONE besides you knew. *giggle*"
"People knew indirectly, but no formal announcement was made."
COMPLETELY DUMBSTRUCK. She just could NOT understand why what she did was wrong because EVERYONE already knew. I managed to keep silent for the most part. Others, who normally keep silent actually spoke up.  I wanted to scream at her, "HOW STUPID ARE YOU???? If they didn't  SPEAK UP when the Big Boss asked, what makes you think it was OK FOR YOU TO DO IT FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????" But I did not. I sat and ground my teeth instead.  After our meeting, I heard her whispering madly to one of our co-workers who told me later that she still just couldn't understand what the big deal was? Why would they care? SHE wouldn't care. She's very open about EVERYTHING. Yes, we all know you are unhappy in your marriage and are envious of your divorced friends and their carefree life. I would prefer NOT to know that about you. Seriously. The "talking to" she got, in my opinion, was not severe enough. I would have written her up and sent her to sensitivity training. Alas, I am not the Boss. Which for several people here is a VERY good thing.

*** I just found out that she actually may have seen the light. She apologized to one of the women. I was not expecting that AT ALL. But I'm sure she still doesn't completely understand what she did wrong.****

Saturday, May 14, 2011

How Men Read

E-Mail I sent to F: "I made an eye dr appt for you for Wednesday @ 2:30. If that won't work for you, you need to call them and change it: [redacted phone #]. ( i added the bold and underline for you digital reader, it is important)

F's response: "Sorry DH but the next 2 weeks I am busy well beyond 5 please change."

I read this and was all W.T.F????? Seriously, I am not your secretary. I was doing him a solid by making the appointment to begin with. It is not like I ask him to make my Gyno appointment for me, ya know????

But before I could fashion this from mental thought to written word, I see a second e-mail from F which was sent 10 minutes after the first one: "I will call them."

Ahhh, he CAN read!!! A little slow on the comprehension, but still; I am so proud.

Friday, May 06, 2011

Bold Rudness

Remember how just a few days ago I told you that Mrs. Nosey took it upon herself to announce pregnancies for two of our co-workers? The woman has no boundaries, I swear to God.  This morning before our Boss got in, flowers were delivered to her office. Mrs Nosey went in to said office, exclaimed, "OH! She got flowers! Is it her birthday???"  Our boss's birthday was 2 weeks ago, which one of our co-workers reminded her. "Oh, well. OH!!!! It is her ANNIVERSARY!!!! HHHHmmmmm "To the love of my life (something else I couldn't quite make out)" " "Hmph, if my husband wrote something like THAT(something else I couldn't make out but it was clearly sarcastic)....."

Do you see what just happened there?? She READ the card on our BOSS'S FLOWERS before our Boss even got to see them and then, THEN she criticized what  her husband had written!!!!!!!
The out and out audacity of it all!!!!! It just blows my mind. I almost said something, but I keep biting my tongue. I would  have a very hard time not calling this woman  the "C" word if we ever got into it.
She is so beyond rude I just don't even know how to handle it.

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

I've Got a Whole Bag of ZIP IT With Your Name On It

We have a meeting each month that encompasses all departments in our building. Since our last meeting two women have semi-announced (read word of mouth) that they are expecting. When the big boss asked if there was any other news that needed to be shared, NEITHER of these women spoke up. The meeting moved on to a few other things and then he asked again, again both women reminded silent. So, our office busybody, Mrs Nosey took it upon herself to announce it FOR THEM. FORCING them to speak up. I cannot tell you how badly I wanted to reach across the table and smack that self-satisfied smile off her face. The one woman even said quietly, “I really didn’t want it announced.”

I just do not understand how she came to the decision that it was upon her to announce something so incredibly personal. I realize that pretty much everyone already knew, but there is certainly an unwritten rule concerning something like this. Isn’t there? Am I crazy? This isn’t an announcement that someone makes for you, unless they are your mother. It goes without saying, she is not their mother.

Is my extreme dislike of this woman coloring my view?? Was it ok for her to “out” these women who were CLEARLY remaining silent during the period in which they could have spoken up for themselves? As much as I would LOVE to put this woman in her place, I realize that that is not MY place. Oh, but how I wish it was. How I wish.