Monday, November 03, 2008

A Wedding In Bits and Pieces, Piece 1: The Arrivals

It's dark outside in the mornings now, have you noticed? It's especially dark when you know you are about to bring mass confusion into your humble little home. F and I arrived at the airport, and parked our 2 vehicles and went inside to await the ARRIVAL. W was the first to come into sight, far ahead of the others, completely ditching his wife and kids. (i'm sure we're all shocked by that.) The rest came tumbling after, MIL, FIL, SIL, Uncle, and the kids. It was like herding cats. Sailor Mouth was texting me the entire time, we'd just missed them, they were picking up their rental car. SIL? Talked NON-STOP the entire ride to the house, where SM was waiting. And let the pandemonium begin! 3 women, one small kitchen, 5 men who couldn't be bothered, CRAZINESS. Getting everyone feed was no easy task, but it was accomplished. I do not do speed cooking well my friends, not well at all. I am no match for SIL. It's kinda sad. Anyway, SM and her man just sat there and watched, SM smiling to herself, reading the family members as they passed her line of sight, ready to give me a full report later. (she was dead on, btw) God bless early check-in!!!!!!!!!!! We hustled them all off to the hotel. Then, silly me, offered to try and find SIL a hair dresser. Have I ever mentioned that SIL is part Jamaican? So the women at my white girl salon were completely unable to handle her hair? Um, yeah. So she and I climb back into the car, and the verbal assault began. Lord help me and my bleeding ears.

SIL: "Hair hair hair hair hair, Do You Understand What I'm SAYING!?!?!? hair hair hair hair, I'm leaving W in two years, as soon as I'm done with school. hair hair hair hair."

Um, sorry, what? Did she just lay it out there that she's leaving her husband in 2 yrs 2 days before MY wedding?

You better believe it!
And the "Do You UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING??!!!??" made me feel small and uneducated, even though I understood everything she said. She's a force, let me tell ya.

But I survived ARRIVAL TIME OVERLOAD with only a small headache and a still festering wound to my cooking skills.

Next, Girls' Night In.................

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