F and I went back East, AGAIN, to visit for Christmas. After attending my family Christmas I was all wound in knots about what would transpire with F’s Family. If it would be a repeat of last year. And, yeah, pretty much it was.
The minute we walked into the door at MIL & FIL’s, MIL started shoving presents in our face. I just wanted a hot shower and a quiet bed. Not so much. What I got from MIL? The woman who is determined to purchase my wedding night attire? 12 wash clothes in red and green (our bathroom is gray and light aqua, and yes, she’s seen it), a pink summer nightgown ( I wear a top and shorts to bed because nightgowns wrap around my legs trapping me, she has seen me in my pjs) a jade colored cowl necked top to “Hide your chest”(it enhances my chest, which of course F likes) and wine colored slippers that were, Bedazzled.(those actually got left there because F stepped in and informed her that I literally have 3 pairs of slippers at home.)
I purchased a very lovely dragon fly lapel pin for MIL from Lia Sophia. And because she is constantly questioning me about my hair care routine, I bought her several bottles of product AND a nice little suction cupped holder to keep them in, in the shower.
For FIL we stopped and purchased a gift certificate for a restaurant they like.
F gave FIL his present in the living room while MIL and I were in the kitchen discussing my new top. This is what I heard:
F: “Here, we got this for you.”
FIL: “I don’t want it! You can’t afford to be buying me presents! TAKE IT BACK! Use it on yourselves!” (Granted the sentiment was well intended, the tone of voice however, the usual much clipped, angry one.)
At this point they’ve made their way into the kitchen.
F: “We can’t take it back; it’s for the East Coast only.”
FIL: “Don’t give me that! This is AMERICA! You can use it in the Midwest!”
I’m standing inches from FIL and in my nicest voice possible I say: “But it’s a present we bought for you. From us, to you.”
FIL: “Then I’m RE-GIFTING IT!”
Folks, I had all I could do to keep my lips from parting. The tip of my tongue waged war in my mouth to form the sentence: “Well that’s just rude.” But I DID NOT! I walked past him. And fumed as I slipped the cowl necked fug over my head.
Upon re-entering the kitchen F says to FIL, “Look what we got MIL!”
FIL responds, “I DON’T CARE WHAT SHE HAS!!”
And this, my friends, is how our visit started.
How did the trip end? With dinner, with the family. With an F-bomb filled appetizer. The minute F and I entered the house; I knew something was wrong, because it was silent. On the couch sat his brother, W, his s-i-l, T and their 2 kids. As we cross the threshold T says to F:
“F, can you please take me home?” Bewildered, F says, Yeah sure.
W rings in with, “F! Don’t you take her home!”
And it deteriorates from there.
T follows us into the kitchen declaring that she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way, that she’s tired of him swearing at her, and on and on and on. From the living room W punctuates her point by yelling, “FUCK YOU T! FUCK YOU!” And a few other choice sentences of which I can’t remember them all because I was so incredibly horrified at this behavior. MIL was almost in tears. The 6yr old refused to go anywhere with his father. Finally, after much swearing and yelling, W left. Poor T was left with her in-laws after such a spectacle. Dinner was fairly silent. FIL refused to try the food item I brought all the way from home which took 5 people 5 hours to make. He was cranky and rude the entire meal, nothing new there.
I think F was so upset by the display, he got ill, and was sick in the bathroom.
After the dishes had been cleared, and some of the food put away,(MIL leaves things out over night, or over days, and expects you to still eat them. This habit of hers totally grosses me out.)T decides it’s time to head home. So I am left with MIL to watch, “Rich Bride, Poor Bride”. We actually enjoyed ourselves.
My favorite comment from the entire trip came from MIL. Who from across the room the night we arrived said, “Your (engagement) ring is dirty.”