Tuesday, October 14, 2008


I'm a stress eater. And as the days dwindle down, my stress level goes UP. All I want to eat? JUNK FOOD. I am not joking when I tell you that there have been days when the thought of eating something "healthy" literally makes me GAG. Pizza? OH YES PLEASE! We'll not dwell on the fact that the night I got my wedding hair cut I ate an entire Hot-n-Ready pizza BY MYSELF, save for the ONE slice F ate. Oh I paid for eating all that pizza, oh yes. Like a small child who sneaks too much Halloween candy, I PAID. I was stressed because I felt my "subtle" blonde highlights were too BRAZENLY blonde. F said no, and as the days have passed, they have gotten better.
But I still want to eat Eat EAT. I know the other half of the problem, besides being a stress eater, is that I'm not sleeping well. I have the shakes from not sleeping well. And SCIENCE has shown that people who don't get enough sleep tend to over eat because your body is all out of whack and so it goes into CRAVE mode. It needs FUEL, NOW! So yes, I am A MESS. And I'm a mess despite the fact that I am medicated. Only at night though, so maybe I need to up my dose, to daytime.
Everyone keeps telling me it'll be fine! It'll be LOVELY! It'll be ALRIGHT!
Everyone hasn't met FIL.
Or dumb fuck brother, W. (yes, I am still bitter.)
Ok, I need to stop, because I am revving myself up and I just realized I have some Mr Flipz in the back of my cabinet and they are whispering my name...........


mom2lo said...

You poor dear! I won't tell you "It'll be okay" 'cause really I can't promise that! But I can say your digital friends are here for you!! And if it helps (I'm sure it won't), but I've been ALL OVER food lately, too! And I'm not even planning a wedding! I lost about 25 post-baby pounds and have gained about 15 of them BACK! Blech!! But food... it tastes so good! Especially junk food! So I guess all I can say is I identify with you and it's OKAY to EAT!!! :)

DevilsHeaven said...

Thank you for understanding!
The healing begins with the proper support. :-)