You, my digital friends have been introduced to Mrs Mannerless. Mrs. Mannerless has often cornered her pregnancy partner and regaled her with all manner of stories and updates, much to her PP's displeasure. Let us call Mrs. Mannerless' pregnancy partner Rustie. (yes Rustie is a woman, a very nice one at that. Trust me on this.) Mrs. Mannerless and Rustie had their babies not even a week apart and therefore were on maternity leave at the same time. When they got back Rustie went to Mrs Mannerless' cube to inquiry about her and the baby. Since Mrs. Mannerless sits near me I over heard the entire thing.
Rustie: "Hey, how are you?"
Mrs. Mannerless: "I'm fine. If you came here just to chat I really have A LOT of work to do and DO NOT have time to talk."
*stunned silence*
Rustie: "oh, well, I just thought I'd see how things went with your delivery. And how things are now.............."
Mrs. Mannerless: "Everything went well.....blah blah blah...whatever else she said."
RUDE!!!!!!!!! Completely and utterly rude! Yes, I will give her that she had a lot of work to do, maybe. But to be so completely and utterly rude is just, amazing.
After this little exchange Mrs Mannerless apparently changed her tune and has since decided that Rustie is her new bestie and shares EVERYTHING with her. She seem to also rather enjoy degrading Rustie's mothering skills.
The following was relayed to me via text directly from Rustie:
"Today's direct quote: "I know you don't make his own baby food but I'm super mom."
Rustie was of course completely floored by the matter of fact manner in which this was stated. She however cannot bring herself to tell Mrs Mannerless off because she's just not that kind of person.
It is because of things like this that I have been DREADING the time when Mrs Mannerless brought her sage advice to me.
I didn't have to wait long and I was greatly validated where my sense of dread lay.
Mrs Mannerless plants herself in my cube doorway and inquires and to my plans concerning breast feeding. Mind you Mrs Mannerless is an avid breast feeder and DEMANDED time off during the day in order to leave work to go feed her child at daycare AND then a place to pump throughout the day. Our small office doesn't not employ enough people to fall under the law on supplying a Lactation Station, but they accommodated her. It has recently become common knowledge that she would extend her time in there by watching TV online on the computer in the set aside office. The computer was removed to prevent this time stealing task, which she circumvented by taking along her iPad.
That aside, let me get back to my main story. I answered her inquiry truthfully and told her I was hoping to breastfeed. And that my digital friends is where I made my mistake. Mrs. Mannerless launches into her HORROR STORY of the lactation nurses at the local hospital. Let me just say here, that it was truly horrible and I would have been swearing bloody murder if I had been treated in such a manner, but what I didn't need, now or ever is her visual help aid.
She told how her doula informed many of the people on the hospital staff that the baby's tongue was misshapen and therefore would have problems latching on during breast feeding. Apparently they all choose to tune out said information when trying to help Mrs Mannerless feed her baby. When she would ask for help or complain to the lactation nurses they were rude, abrupt and completely unhelpful. She told me that on more than one occasion they would grab her breast and shove it into the baby's mouth saying THERE, he's feeding, you just need to try harder!
Bitches! I cannot imagine being treated in such a manner!!! I still feel for her. Despite the fact that upon telling me this portion of the story she grabbed said breast to give me a visual aid to go along with her story.
Let me repeat. As she stood half in my cube and half in the hallway, SHE GRABBED HER BOOB and recreated the shoving and pinching motions for my better understanding.
Um, yeah. I did not need to see that, let alone to help me better visual it happening while her breast was naked. I do however thank her for the warning, because no one man handles the girls, NO ONE.
Add to that Crazy Co-Worker telling me how I shouldn't be wearing my shoes and how said shoes won't fit me through the summer, and I can see why women used to leave the work force until after they give birth.
Showing posts with label Crazy People. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Crazy People. Show all posts
Friday, June 22, 2012
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
I Was Ahead of My Time
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
Is This For Real???
"Adulthood sucks...why, yes, yes it does. DH, that's why we'd like to invite you to become one of our Authors in Alexandria. You may mirror your existing posts from here or elsewhere or produce original posts there, on anything you wish, as you desire. For your contributions and participation we will blogroll you with no reciprocation required. See our Guidelines for Authors for full details. Come contribute your perspectives and opinions to the ongoing conversations there or, even better, start some new - and different - ones of your own. Contact us through the site for full invitations and instructions."
Really? I have 30 followers (love everyone of you!!) but I really don't see how that qualifies as mass appeal. I could be wrong. They may be in dire need of something to pass the time in Alexandria. Where I am not located????? I, well, hmmm. I'm tempted to be like The Bloggess and mess with them. (see Thief? that's how you give someone credit for their work.) But I just don't have it in me at the moment.
Really? I have 30 followers (love everyone of you!!) but I really don't see how that qualifies as mass appeal. I could be wrong. They may be in dire need of something to pass the time in Alexandria. Where I am not located????? I, well, hmmm. I'm tempted to be like The Bloggess and mess with them. (see Thief? that's how you give someone credit for their work.) But I just don't have it in me at the moment.
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Bat Shit Crazy
It is hot, but our AC has been fixed, which is a blessing. I was experiencing some pain in my manky ankle and so decided to take some Tylenol PM around 10pm..
BAD IDEA.
It is now 3:50 AM and I am shaky and am experiencing crazy ass anxiety My legs can not be still. I have a case of shaky leg, times like a million. I usually get shaky leg when it is time for me to go to bed. This is truly a million times worse. If you could see me sitting here, trying to type, you'd think I was a crack whore in desparate need of another hit.
Tylenol PM used to be my go-to for a sleep aid. But somewhere it tured against me. It decided that it would lull me with promises of a painless sleep.For years it work. I had many blissfull nights of pillow soaking drool. Alas, that is no longer the case. Is this how kids with ADD feel? I CANNOT sit still. Typing is quite a feet. Holy cow this is nuts. My brain is fuzzy like I"ve been drinking for awhile.I did have 2 Magners, they did not queit my legs, but have fogged my brain.Well that and the other Tylenol PM I took. My thought process was if I took another one, it woud crush the other2. Not so much. This is crazy. I would clean the house with all this energy, but F is sleeeping.
I took one of those pills SIL gave last time we were out there. SOme were muscle relaxer, others where a very strong sleep aid. I finally broke down and something. Oh please kick in soon!! IT is 4:24AM. It's like I have assburgers, Walking isn't going so well either. I feel tired. But everytime I sit down my legs continue to run a race. I really don't know what I should do. I almmost feel like I'm drunk blogging.
IT is now 4:37am.
I just want to get some sleep while it is still dark outside. OMG, please lord help me.
So I Googled Tylnol PM and got this : TYLENOL PM
Safety Information
Can TYLENOL® PM make me feel restless, nervous, or sleepless?
Diphenhydramine, the sleep aid in TYLENOL® PM, causes drowsiness and helps the vast majority of people who take it to fall asleep. Some individuals have reported transient restlessness and nervousness while taking TYLENOL® PM which disappears when the product is discontinued
Um ALL OF THE ABOVE. I have to wait it out or wait for the sleeepin gpilll is working.
I cannot focus anymore. IF you all don;t d=sse my typing skills are being challlevnge. My be it is tikee go back t o bed. hold charp,
Let me seee if u can figure out ow to co]hiiiiiioook up the cable to load a vido i rook. never ,
mind it cam e out like crap. Have a great father da!!!!!!!!!
****please dont judge me*****
BAD IDEA.
It is now 3:50 AM and I am shaky and am experiencing crazy ass anxiety My legs can not be still. I have a case of shaky leg, times like a million. I usually get shaky leg when it is time for me to go to bed. This is truly a million times worse. If you could see me sitting here, trying to type, you'd think I was a crack whore in desparate need of another hit.
Tylenol PM used to be my go-to for a sleep aid. But somewhere it tured against me. It decided that it would lull me with promises of a painless sleep.For years it work. I had many blissfull nights of pillow soaking drool. Alas, that is no longer the case. Is this how kids with ADD feel? I CANNOT sit still. Typing is quite a feet. Holy cow this is nuts. My brain is fuzzy like I"ve been drinking for awhile.I did have 2 Magners, they did not queit my legs, but have fogged my brain.Well that and the other Tylenol PM I took. My thought process was if I took another one, it woud crush the other2. Not so much. This is crazy. I would clean the house with all this energy, but F is sleeeping.
I took one of those pills SIL gave last time we were out there. SOme were muscle relaxer, others where a very strong sleep aid. I finally broke down and something. Oh please kick in soon!! IT is 4:24AM. It's like I have assburgers, Walking isn't going so well either. I feel tired. But everytime I sit down my legs continue to run a race. I really don't know what I should do. I almmost feel like I'm drunk blogging.
IT is now 4:37am.
I just want to get some sleep while it is still dark outside. OMG, please lord help me.
So I Googled Tylnol PM and got this : TYLENOL PM
Safety Information
Can TYLENOL® PM make me feel restless, nervous, or sleepless?
Diphenhydramine, the sleep aid in TYLENOL® PM, causes drowsiness and helps the vast majority of people who take it to fall asleep. Some individuals have reported transient restlessness and nervousness while taking TYLENOL® PM which disappears when the product is discontinued
Um ALL OF THE ABOVE. I have to wait it out or wait for the sleeepin gpilll is working.
I cannot focus anymore. IF you all don;t d=sse my typing skills are being challlevnge. My be it is tikee go back t o bed. hold charp,
Let me seee if u can figure out ow to co]hiiiiiioook up the cable to load a vido i rook. never ,
mind it cam e out like crap. Have a great father da!!!!!!!!!
****please dont judge me*****
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Bucket Full of....Freeze Dried
Um, Costco, do you know something that maybe you'd like to share with the class???
What's even scarier? That people have actually written REVIEWS on how the food is.
Apparently they also offer a DELUXE version with a First-Aid kit and "essential supplies".
This is a little too "1999" for me. But then again, I did get hooked on the BBC show Survivors, where a kit, or, bucket, like this would have been quite welcome.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm, how much is it again????
$74.99 after $15 OFF
Food For Health™
Emergency Food Kit
275 Servings
Weather Proof Bucket
Item # 104893
What's even scarier? That people have actually written REVIEWS on how the food is.
Apparently they also offer a DELUXE version with a First-Aid kit and "essential supplies".
This is a little too "1999" for me. But then again, I did get hooked on the BBC show Survivors, where a kit, or, bucket, like this would have been quite welcome.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm, how much is it again????
Sunday, May 30, 2010
OOOMMM....Nooooot Reeeelaaaaaxing.....OOOOMMMM
So, I'm back in the gym. My doctor threatened to put me on meds for my sugar level unless I can get it under control myself. So I joined a couple classes. The first is an intense workout called Butts & Guts. I didn't think I would be able to walk out of the class of my own free will. But I managed. My unused muscles were not happy with me for shocking them back into use. But I enjoyed it, and I know it will be a good 6 week class to help keep me motivated. I was also told that I needed to lower my stress level as well for overall health improvement. So I decided to take a Yoga class. Now, mind you, I have absolutely NOTHING against Yoga. I know it is a practice that has been around for eons and it has many benefits.
But, O.M.G. The Yoga instructor I have? Total FLAKE. Some of her lines are truly gems. "Breath deep. Feel the FIIIIIIIIRE moving through your body." "Even if you drank a little water, your belly is FULL!!!" I can't remember them all, there have been so many. But the one she said last week had me falling over with disbelief. "Now.........move......into...... the Asian squat." (Her instructions are very slow in coming and usually punctuated with alot of "Ums" and giggles.Sometimes she even reads them off a paper. I don't think teaching is her strong suit.) "The Asian squat is a good one. Now I know they are getting toilet seats over there now, but before, they would just squat over a hole in the ground or floor. Right?? So you have to have a wide stance with the Asian squat. I know they got toilets for the Olympics. Right? Lots of those countries OVER THERE don't use toilets. Right?"
My head whipped up so fast, it was truly a Scooby Doo moment of "RHUUUUUUUH??!!!"
Everyone else was just trying not to make eye contact with her. Um, yeah.
Last week when it still 80 degrees outside with 60% humidity @ 8 PM, we wasted 5 minutes discussing whether or not we should have class, outside. In 80 degree weather. We ended up inside where she told us, "Remember Yoga is the dance, and your breath is your partner."
Her style, and her comments make it hard for me to relax and focus on my breathing. This class has not been the stress reliever I had hoped for. So, I've decided to take Tai Chi next.
Taught by "one of those people" from "over there" who know how to do the "Asian squat".
Namaste.
But, O.M.G. The Yoga instructor I have? Total FLAKE. Some of her lines are truly gems. "Breath deep. Feel the FIIIIIIIIRE moving through your body." "Even if you drank a little water, your belly is FULL!!!" I can't remember them all, there have been so many. But the one she said last week had me falling over with disbelief. "Now.........move......into...... the Asian squat." (Her instructions are very slow in coming and usually punctuated with alot of "Ums" and giggles.Sometimes she even reads them off a paper. I don't think teaching is her strong suit.) "The Asian squat is a good one. Now I know they are getting toilet seats over there now, but before, they would just squat over a hole in the ground or floor. Right?? So you have to have a wide stance with the Asian squat. I know they got toilets for the Olympics. Right? Lots of those countries OVER THERE don't use toilets. Right?"
My head whipped up so fast, it was truly a Scooby Doo moment of "RHUUUUUUUH??!!!"
Everyone else was just trying not to make eye contact with her. Um, yeah.
Last week when it still 80 degrees outside with 60% humidity @ 8 PM, we wasted 5 minutes discussing whether or not we should have class, outside. In 80 degree weather. We ended up inside where she told us, "Remember Yoga is the dance, and your breath is your partner."
Her style, and her comments make it hard for me to relax and focus on my breathing. This class has not been the stress reliever I had hoped for. So, I've decided to take Tai Chi next.
Taught by "one of those people" from "over there" who know how to do the "Asian squat".
Namaste.
Monday, May 03, 2010
Forgotten Manners Abound
My mom recently returned from the south to do her summer here in the Midwest. I picked her up at the airport. She was late, EXTREMELY LATE. I was kinda torked, because there are only so many circles around the airport you can do before you run out of gas. However, once my mother relayed to me the reason behind her tardiness, I grew incensed at the thoughtlessness, mannerlessness, heartlessness, nay! GODLESSNESS of people today. The flight was 4 hours long. There was a single mother with her small child on this flight. The woman was sick immediately upon boarding the plane. She spent the majority of the flight confined to the bathroom being ill in every way you can be. Upon landing, everyone jumped up and started crowding the aisle. Over the P.A. the flight attendant requested everyone to please remain in their seats so that an ill passenger could be attended to by the EMTs. An extremely few passengers sat back down. The majority continued to crowd the aisles until the EMTs were upon them. Once the EMTs reached the passenger in question, those they past jumped back up itching to be let off. Once again they were told to remain in their seats until the ill passenger could be removed. The EMTs left to get the woman a wheel chair because she was unable to leave the plane under her own power. People crowded the aisle AGAIN and tried to stand their ground until the extremely large EMT become irritated (I hope more disgusted than anything) and yelled, "SIT DOWN!" The other passengers grudgingly did so. The EMTs barely had the poor woman and her child on the ramp before the rest of the passengers began jostling each other for aisle space.
SHAME ON YOU PEOPLE. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME. If you were the one who was sick you would have been screaming bloody murder at the other passengers for violating you in whatever manner that restricted you from deplaning your ill self. Personally, if I was that woman, I would have fake puked on everyone as I was wheeled out.
And an extra shame note to the retired doctor who refused to come to her aid because he was RETIRED which apparently means he forgot all his medical knowledge when it came to helping, but NOT when it came to scolding the poor flight attendant for misdiagnosing the ill passenger. WTF old dude? WTF????
This sad act of humanity in no way of course tops these heinous acts of humanity.
SHAME ON YOU PEOPLE. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME. If you were the one who was sick you would have been screaming bloody murder at the other passengers for violating you in whatever manner that restricted you from deplaning your ill self. Personally, if I was that woman, I would have fake puked on everyone as I was wheeled out.
And an extra shame note to the retired doctor who refused to come to her aid because he was RETIRED which apparently means he forgot all his medical knowledge when it came to helping, but NOT when it came to scolding the poor flight attendant for misdiagnosing the ill passenger. WTF old dude? WTF????
This sad act of humanity in no way of course tops these heinous acts of humanity.
Thursday, February 04, 2010
God Help Me
Scene: Early morning interior of a gray felt walled cubicle.
Enter stage left: Crazy Co-Worker: "DH!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Me: "Huh?" as I swivel in my chair to face her.
CCW: "THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she points excitedly at the other side of my desk.
Me: "Wha???" as I turn back to my desk looking around confused.
CCW: "THE BABY THING!!!!!" she sings as she dances over to my desk and picks up a Babies-R-Us coupon sitting there.
Me: "What? That??? OMG, CCW, I brought that in for S. (one of the 3 currently pregnant women in our office.)
CCW: "ARE YOU SURE????"
Me: *annoyed sigh* as I turn back to my computer: "Yes. I'm. sure."
CCW: "OH! Well, I just thought that was your way of telling me you were pregnant."
Me: "Uh, NO. I got it in the mail and brought it in for S."
CCW: "Oh. Well. You were gone for 2 days so, you know, maybe, you came back pregnant."
Me: "NO."
CCW: "Ok. Well, I just thought, anyway, I'll just go back to my desk (as she starts to walk away). Just thought after you was gone for two days.....*mumble* *mumble*
(like I would even know if I was 2 days pregnant)
Seriously people? She thought I'd tell the entire office I was pregnant by placing a COUPON on my desk???????
W.T.F.?????????????????
What do you think she'd come to as a conclusion if I placed coupons for Jim Beam on my desk?
Enter stage left: Crazy Co-Worker: "DH!!!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Me: "Huh?" as I swivel in my chair to face her.
CCW: "THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she points excitedly at the other side of my desk.
Me: "Wha???" as I turn back to my desk looking around confused.
CCW: "THE BABY THING!!!!!" she sings as she dances over to my desk and picks up a Babies-R-Us coupon sitting there.
Me: "What? That??? OMG, CCW, I brought that in for S. (one of the 3 currently pregnant women in our office.)
CCW: "ARE YOU SURE????"
Me: *annoyed sigh* as I turn back to my computer: "Yes. I'm. sure."
CCW: "OH! Well, I just thought that was your way of telling me you were pregnant."
Me: "Uh, NO. I got it in the mail and brought it in for S."
CCW: "Oh. Well. You were gone for 2 days so, you know, maybe, you came back pregnant."
Me: "NO."
CCW: "Ok. Well, I just thought, anyway, I'll just go back to my desk (as she starts to walk away). Just thought after you was gone for two days.....*mumble* *mumble*
(like I would even know if I was 2 days pregnant)
Seriously people? She thought I'd tell the entire office I was pregnant by placing a COUPON on my desk???????
W.T.F.?????????????????
What do you think she'd come to as a conclusion if I placed coupons for Jim Beam on my desk?
Saturday, December 19, 2009
No Thanks, Thanksgiving
Has anybody else seen this? It is from AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com. First, with all these dishes that everyone else is bringing, what the hell is this woman making? And second, if I were these people I'd put all my required dishes in Tupperware and dare her to say something. I would LOVE to see a follow up on how this dinner went down. Oh to be a fly on all the many walls involved in this!!!!
The Thanksgiving Letter (back by popular demand)
November 26th, 2009
From: Marney
As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.
Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders(who does this woman think she is???). I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL!(why the foil hate?) If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! (seriously? If they both scoop, what difference does it make? even for an OCDer such as myself this is a bit much)And please do not forget anything.
All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. (so, um, you expect to eat the minute people hit the door? i mean how are you going to keep everything HOT??)These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.
HJB—Dinner wine (why is this person getting off so easy?)
The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.(um so why have them?)
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. (what??????? dude.)I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.(um, why do you care? water is water. they take home the leftovers.)
The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese(didn't she just say it was up to BBF on how to make them?) (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22). (again,why does it matter?)
The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level.(wow, sounds like someone is bitter about lisa not carrying her fair share in th past.) You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).(they do make small ones ya know)
The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife(why is the person who is not bringing a pie, bringing the pie knife???)
The June Davis Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size (which would be what exactly?)casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container (this breaks the no plastic rule!!)and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay
The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe)(how do you know everyone likes that recipe???) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.
Looking forward to the 28th!!
Marney
(kindly submitted by Kara at http://californiakara.blogspot.com)
The Thanksgiving Letter (back by popular demand)
November 26th, 2009
From: Marney
As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.
Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders(who does this woman think she is???). I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL!(why the foil hate?) If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! (seriously? If they both scoop, what difference does it make? even for an OCDer such as myself this is a bit much)And please do not forget anything.
All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. (so, um, you expect to eat the minute people hit the door? i mean how are you going to keep everything HOT??)These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.
HJB—Dinner wine (why is this person getting off so easy?)
The Mike Byron Family
1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.(um so why have them?)
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. (what??????? dude.)I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.(um, why do you care? water is water. they take home the leftovers.)
The Bob Byron Family
1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese(didn't she just say it was up to BBF on how to make them?) (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22). (again,why does it matter?)
The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family
1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level.(wow, sounds like someone is bitter about lisa not carrying her fair share in th past.) You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).(they do make small ones ya know)
The Michelle Bobble Family
1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife(why is the person who is not bringing a pie, bringing the pie knife???)
The June Davis Family
1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size (which would be what exactly?)casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container (this breaks the no plastic rule!!)and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay
The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)
1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe)(how do you know everyone likes that recipe???) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.
Looking forward to the 28th!!
Marney
(kindly submitted by Kara at http://californiakara.blogspot.com)
Friday, December 04, 2009
Things.....
That I find just odd.....
- Riding a bike while on a cell phone.
- Riding a bike while smoking.
- Slowly strolling across 4 lanes of traffic, either in, but most likely, outside the cross walk.
Friday, November 06, 2009
Sharing is not always Caring
Today I stopped into a co-worker's office to have some candy. I was hoping she wasn't in there because this co-worker is well known for "over sharing" or as the kids like to call it, T.M.I about many things that are of a personal nature.
I was not lucky today.
Me: "I came for some chocolate."
TMI_Co-worker: "OH! Help yourself!!!"
Me: "Thanks."
TMI_Co-worker: "How is DH today?" (it is well known throughout the office that I have been sick because you can hear me coughing where ever I go.)
Me: "Oh, I'm better, sporting a headache, but better."
TMI_Co-worker: "That's good. Unlike me who is on DAY 13 of my period!"
(oh god no, here we go..........)
Me: "OMG, that is not good."
TMI_Co-worker: "I know. And it's not a regular flow either. This is full on OPEN FAUCET GUSH for 13 days!"
Me: "EW." (I do feel bad for her, but seriously??? Did I need to know that detail???)
TMI_Co-worker: "Yeah, I don't have enough, YOU KNOW, SUPPLIES to keep up with it. It's exhausting me, I'm so tired."
Me: "Wow. Have you gone to the doctor?"
TMI_Co-worker: "Oh yeah, it's menopausal stuff. Of course my husband thinks I have cancer. So he's freaking out."
It is at this point in the conversation that I find the opportunity to change the subject. And I do, QUICKLY.
She apparently did not read the same article on MSN I did, about what NOT to share with your co-workers.
Most importantly points 2, 6 and 12.
I rewarded myself with a second piece of candy before I left. I needed something to take my mind off that visual picture she painted for me.
I was not lucky today.
Me: "I came for some chocolate."
TMI_Co-worker: "OH! Help yourself!!!"
Me: "Thanks."
TMI_Co-worker: "How is DH today?" (it is well known throughout the office that I have been sick because you can hear me coughing where ever I go.)
Me: "Oh, I'm better, sporting a headache, but better."
TMI_Co-worker: "That's good. Unlike me who is on DAY 13 of my period!"
(oh god no, here we go..........)
Me: "OMG, that is not good."
TMI_Co-worker: "I know. And it's not a regular flow either. This is full on OPEN FAUCET GUSH for 13 days!"
Me: "EW." (I do feel bad for her, but seriously??? Did I need to know that detail???)
TMI_Co-worker: "Yeah, I don't have enough, YOU KNOW, SUPPLIES to keep up with it. It's exhausting me, I'm so tired."
Me: "Wow. Have you gone to the doctor?"
TMI_Co-worker: "Oh yeah, it's menopausal stuff. Of course my husband thinks I have cancer. So he's freaking out."
It is at this point in the conversation that I find the opportunity to change the subject. And I do, QUICKLY.
She apparently did not read the same article on MSN I did, about what NOT to share with your co-workers.
Most importantly points 2, 6 and 12.
I rewarded myself with a second piece of candy before I left. I needed something to take my mind off that visual picture she painted for me.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
O.M.G., how stupid are you?
Pirates held after mistakenly targeting warship
French navy chases skiff for an hour in wake of attack off Somalia’s coast
This photo released by the French navy shows pirates surrendering after allegedly opening fire on a warship off Somalia's coast on Wednesday.
View related photos
PARIS - Somali pirates in two skiffs fired on a French navy vessel early Wednesday after apparently mistaking it for a commercial boat, the French military said.
The French ship gave chase and captured five suspected pirates.
No one was wounded by the volleys from the Kalashnikov rifles directed at La Somme, a 3,800-ton refueling ship, French military spokesman Rear Adm. Christophe Prazuck said.
La Somme "was probably taken for a commercial ship by the two small skiffs" about 250 nautical miles off Somalia's coast, Prazuck said.
"They understood their mistake too late," he said.
One skiff fled, and La Somme pursued the second one in an hour-long chase.
"There were five suspected pirates on board. No arms, no water, no food," Prazuck said.
France is a key member of the EU's naval mission, Operation Atalanta, fighting Somali pirates in the Gulf of Aden.
It has aggressively tracked and caught suspected pirates and handed over at least 22 to Kenya.
An additional 15 suspects were brought to France for prosecution after allegedly seizing boats belonging to French nationals.
President Nicolas Sarkozy called for tougher action against piracy last year after dozens of attacks.
HELLO!!! You can't tell the difference between a Navy ship and a cruise liner?? Seriously, these pirates have GOT to be stopped. I still don't understand how a bunch of guys in a ratty skiff out run a Navy ship for an hour. And I also don't understand how a bunch of guys in a ratty skiff can be intimidating to the point that you pull your boat over and surrender. Why aren't they being stopped? Why don't more ships carry weapons if this is such a problem??
Where is Captain Jack Sparrow???
French navy chases skiff for an hour in wake of attack off Somalia’s coast
This photo released by the French navy shows pirates surrendering after allegedly opening fire on a warship off Somalia's coast on Wednesday.
View related photos
PARIS - Somali pirates in two skiffs fired on a French navy vessel early Wednesday after apparently mistaking it for a commercial boat, the French military said.
The French ship gave chase and captured five suspected pirates.
No one was wounded by the volleys from the Kalashnikov rifles directed at La Somme, a 3,800-ton refueling ship, French military spokesman Rear Adm. Christophe Prazuck said.
La Somme "was probably taken for a commercial ship by the two small skiffs" about 250 nautical miles off Somalia's coast, Prazuck said.
"They understood their mistake too late," he said.
One skiff fled, and La Somme pursued the second one in an hour-long chase.
"There were five suspected pirates on board. No arms, no water, no food," Prazuck said.
France is a key member of the EU's naval mission, Operation Atalanta, fighting Somali pirates in the Gulf of Aden.
It has aggressively tracked and caught suspected pirates and handed over at least 22 to Kenya.
An additional 15 suspects were brought to France for prosecution after allegedly seizing boats belonging to French nationals.
President Nicolas Sarkozy called for tougher action against piracy last year after dozens of attacks.
HELLO!!! You can't tell the difference between a Navy ship and a cruise liner?? Seriously, these pirates have GOT to be stopped. I still don't understand how a bunch of guys in a ratty skiff out run a Navy ship for an hour. And I also don't understand how a bunch of guys in a ratty skiff can be intimidating to the point that you pull your boat over and surrender. Why aren't they being stopped? Why don't more ships carry weapons if this is such a problem??
Where is Captain Jack Sparrow???
Friday, October 09, 2009
Dash Cam
I have decided that I need one of those dash cams like the cops have, because I have to tell you, I miss many a great Blog worthy shots while driving in the car. I am never fast enough with the cell phone camera to get the pics that tell a thousand stories.
Like this one:
In case you are having a hard time reading what it says:
With plastic bags from 7 Eleven....
Like this one:
Queen of the "Bitch" Seat World
You go girl.
Does anyone know where I can get a dash cam? I would prefer one that took stills instead of video, because video would just take us into a whole new realm of figuring out how to get a still out of video and I can barely put this blog together.
But I can put this Blog together better than this sign is advertising some one's business.Does anyone know where I can get a dash cam? I would prefer one that took stills instead of video, because video would just take us into a whole new realm of figuring out how to get a still out of video and I can barely put this blog together.
In case you are having a hard time reading what it says:
LAWN CORING
DETHATCHING
YARD WORK
Um, HUH??? Is this landscaper speak and I'm just not hip to the lingo??
With plastic bags from 7 Eleven....
Emhmm, very inventive. I do have to give them props for quick thinking.
And these are only the pics I was quick enough to capture with my cell phone. Ah, the ones I've missed, yes yes, you are being greatly deprived.
Wednesday, September 09, 2009
Where they find the "Guests" For Jerry Springer
Thank You Sassy Two Socks.
This new website has brightened my day.
A whole blog dedicated to the People of Walmart, or as I like to refer to it, White Trash World.
Please shower after exiting.
This new website has brightened my day.
A whole blog dedicated to the People of Walmart, or as I like to refer to it, White Trash World.
Please shower after exiting.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Deadly Habit
Turkey's Smoking Ban Takes a Hit
Enraged at having his cigarettes confiscated, a customer killed a restaurant owner in southwest Turkey. It's the first—and hopefully last—such casualty since a ban on smoking in bars and restaurants took effect. The Turks are heavy smokers, but similar bans have worked in places like Paris.
That is crazy insane!!! People have no self control anymore. It's a pack of cigs for pete's sake! Was it really worth the loss of a life and your own personal freedom?????
God help us all.
Enraged at having his cigarettes confiscated, a customer killed a restaurant owner in southwest Turkey. It's the first—and hopefully last—such casualty since a ban on smoking in bars and restaurants took effect. The Turks are heavy smokers, but similar bans have worked in places like Paris.
That is crazy insane!!! People have no self control anymore. It's a pack of cigs for pete's sake! Was it really worth the loss of a life and your own personal freedom?????
God help us all.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Face Plant
I was out shopping on my lunch hour using a Birthday related coupon to fill out the summer wardrobe, when I saw someone take a header. I was on my way back to the office and was stopped at a very busy intersection. I looked up to see an Asian woman crossing the street. She looked to be in her mid to late 50's. Her hair was sloppy and she had on all black with the exceptions of the bright red flames(or so the patterned appeared to be) crawling up her black stockings that were born out of her bright red "exercise" sneakers. (do these things really work?)
She scurried across the cross walk and up onto the sidewalk where she paused and began to move again. That's when she tripped or out walked right out of her shoes because the next thing I saw was her falling face first onto the sidewalk. Her arms didn't go out, in fact I think her forehead took the majority of the impact. Her legs went out and up behind her with such force that her skirt flew up and I saw the black lace of her satin bloomers. Her one shoe tumbled off the curb and back into the street.
I covered my mouth in horror. *ooooooooh!*
The light changed.
As I inched forward I looked over to see her sitting on the sidewalk, rubbing her head and checking for blood.
I drove away wondering if she was going to be ok.
That was a damn nasty header.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Who Thinks About This Stuff?
4 charged after bodies dug up at Ill. cemetery
Hundreds of graves disturbed at final resting site for many famous blacks
As many as 300 graves were tampered with, Dart said. Some of the graves were dug up and the bodies dumped elsewhere, including in an open area at the back of the 150-acre property, and the plots were resold. In other cases the graves were "pounded down" and another person was buried on top, Dart said.
Cemetery records were destroyed and plot deeds were altered, officials said.
Dart said Towns, the cemetery office manager, was the alleged ringleader of the scam. "She was the one taking the payments, she was the one directing individuals to dig," he said.
"Having prosecuted many, many violent cases throughout my career in the state’s attorney's office, I must say that this crime, it’s a whole new dimension that shows us what lengths that people would go through for financial gain," State's Attorney Anita Alvarez added.
Famous namesThe sheriff's investigation began six weeks ago when the cemetery's owner reported that an employee who began feeling guilty revealed what allegedly had been going on, possibly for as long as four years, Dart said. "All of us who were working on this for the last week were pretty distraught," Dart said. "You start with the premise of your own loved ones and how they are cared for after they are buried, but there is also a true significance to this particular cemetery."
The Rev. Jesse Jackson, who joined officials at a news conference announcing the arrests, said that he's been besieged by phone calls from worried relatives of those buried at the cemetery. "There should be a special place in hell" for the perpetrators, he said.
AP
Emmett Louis Till, a 14-year-old from Chicago whose weighted body was found in the Tallahatchie River in Mississippi in 1955, is among the people who were buried at the cemetery.
Chicago native Emmett Till, whose 1955 lynching at age 14 added impetus to the civil-rights movement, is buried at Burr Oak. It's also the final resting place of singers Dinah Washington, Willie Dixon, and Otis Spann, as well as former world heavyweight boxing champion Ezzard Charles, Harlem Globetrotter Inman Jackson, and several Negro League baseball players.
"For many years, this was the only cemetery where African Americans could be buried," said Spencer Leak Sr., president of Leak and Sons Funeral Home, noting that Burr Oak once was owned by Ebony Magazine publisher John Johnson.
Dart said the scheme appears to have targeted older, unmarked graves that had not been visited in a long time. There was no indication the more famous sites were disturbed.
Frantic searchUpon hearing the news, hundreds of people went to the cemetery Thursday looking for their loved ones' graves; many couldn't find them. A couple told WMAQ-TV that they found headstones that apparently had been recently tampered with, and they were not sure who was underneath the headstones.
The sheriff said it will take a while to sort out the mess and urged people with relatives or friends buried in the cemetery to be patient. "We're not necessarily talking weeks, we're talking months," Dart said.
Perpetua Holdings of Illinois Inc., a subsidiary of a Tucson, Ariz.-based funeral home and cemetery development company, has owned the cemetery since 2001. A message seeking comment was not immediately returned.
The Cemetery Care and Burial Trust Department, a division of the Illinois Comptroller's office, has said it has received complaints in recent years about poor upkeep at Burr Oak, including sunken or tilting gravestones, unmanageable roads, drainage problems and weeds.
People are just freaking sick, why would you do this??? They need to be beat.
Hundreds of graves disturbed at final resting site for many famous blacks
As many as 300 graves were tampered with, Dart said. Some of the graves were dug up and the bodies dumped elsewhere, including in an open area at the back of the 150-acre property, and the plots were resold. In other cases the graves were "pounded down" and another person was buried on top, Dart said.
Cemetery records were destroyed and plot deeds were altered, officials said.
Dart said Towns, the cemetery office manager, was the alleged ringleader of the scam. "She was the one taking the payments, she was the one directing individuals to dig," he said.
"Having prosecuted many, many violent cases throughout my career in the state’s attorney's office, I must say that this crime, it’s a whole new dimension that shows us what lengths that people would go through for financial gain," State's Attorney Anita Alvarez added.
Famous namesThe sheriff's investigation began six weeks ago when the cemetery's owner reported that an employee who began feeling guilty revealed what allegedly had been going on, possibly for as long as four years, Dart said. "All of us who were working on this for the last week were pretty distraught," Dart said. "You start with the premise of your own loved ones and how they are cared for after they are buried, but there is also a true significance to this particular cemetery."
The Rev. Jesse Jackson, who joined officials at a news conference announcing the arrests, said that he's been besieged by phone calls from worried relatives of those buried at the cemetery. "There should be a special place in hell" for the perpetrators, he said.
AP
Emmett Louis Till, a 14-year-old from Chicago whose weighted body was found in the Tallahatchie River in Mississippi in 1955, is among the people who were buried at the cemetery.
Chicago native Emmett Till, whose 1955 lynching at age 14 added impetus to the civil-rights movement, is buried at Burr Oak. It's also the final resting place of singers Dinah Washington, Willie Dixon, and Otis Spann, as well as former world heavyweight boxing champion Ezzard Charles, Harlem Globetrotter Inman Jackson, and several Negro League baseball players.
"For many years, this was the only cemetery where African Americans could be buried," said Spencer Leak Sr., president of Leak and Sons Funeral Home, noting that Burr Oak once was owned by Ebony Magazine publisher John Johnson.
Dart said the scheme appears to have targeted older, unmarked graves that had not been visited in a long time. There was no indication the more famous sites were disturbed.
Frantic searchUpon hearing the news, hundreds of people went to the cemetery Thursday looking for their loved ones' graves; many couldn't find them. A couple told WMAQ-TV that they found headstones that apparently had been recently tampered with, and they were not sure who was underneath the headstones.
The sheriff said it will take a while to sort out the mess and urged people with relatives or friends buried in the cemetery to be patient. "We're not necessarily talking weeks, we're talking months," Dart said.
Perpetua Holdings of Illinois Inc., a subsidiary of a Tucson, Ariz.-based funeral home and cemetery development company, has owned the cemetery since 2001. A message seeking comment was not immediately returned.
The Cemetery Care and Burial Trust Department, a division of the Illinois Comptroller's office, has said it has received complaints in recent years about poor upkeep at Burr Oak, including sunken or tilting gravestones, unmanageable roads, drainage problems and weeds.
People are just freaking sick, why would you do this??? They need to be beat.
Saturday, June 06, 2009
I want my CABLE TV!!!!!
Oh cable, how I miss thy!!!!
New season of Bridezillas. These women are straight up WHACKED. Watching these nut jobs online just might not get it. Even after my own wedding I'm still addicted.
Is that wrong???
New season of Bridezillas. These women are straight up WHACKED. Watching these nut jobs online just might not get it. Even after my own wedding I'm still addicted.
Is that wrong???
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Should We Start Testing for I.Q. Before You're Allowed to Reproduce?
Here is more about the highly intelligent woman who was driving, talking on her cell, and breast feeding her baby.
"I'm following right behind her right now on Far Hills Avenue," the caller said as he spoke to a Kettering dispatcher in a recording of his non-emergency call that was released by police on Friday, Feb. 27. (this is what the guy said who reported her)
"I tried to say something to her. She literally has the little girl on the steering wheel and I said, 'I can't believe you have that kid in your lap and she said, 'You want to pop your titty out and breastfeed this kid?' (nice, such fabulous manners)That's what she said to me. I'm like, 'You can feed your kid when you stop.' It's like wet out here. It's full of traffic. It's ridiculous. She's got like three other kids in the car."
The police came to the area and tried to locate the van, but could not find it. So they used the license plate number to track down her contact information, Burke said.
When a police officer spoke to her, she admitted she breastfed her child and also told police that she does not deprive her child when the child is hungry, Burke said.
Deprive?? DEPRIVE??? How about the fact that you are DEPRIVING your kid of it's safety!!! You stupid heffer.
"I'm following right behind her right now on Far Hills Avenue," the caller said as he spoke to a Kettering dispatcher in a recording of his non-emergency call that was released by police on Friday, Feb. 27. (this is what the guy said who reported her)
"I tried to say something to her. She literally has the little girl on the steering wheel and I said, 'I can't believe you have that kid in your lap and she said, 'You want to pop your titty out and breastfeed this kid?' (nice, such fabulous manners)That's what she said to me. I'm like, 'You can feed your kid when you stop.' It's like wet out here. It's full of traffic. It's ridiculous. She's got like three other kids in the car."
The police came to the area and tried to locate the van, but could not find it. So they used the license plate number to track down her contact information, Burke said.
When a police officer spoke to her, she admitted she breastfed her child and also told police that she does not deprive her child when the child is hungry, Burke said.
Deprive?? DEPRIVE??? How about the fact that you are DEPRIVING your kid of it's safety!!! You stupid heffer.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
Who Are These People?
Woman has 911 meltdown over McNuggets
Fla. police say she called emergency number 3 times after store runs out
FORT PIERCE, Fla. - Authorities say a Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of Chicken McNuggets.
A police report says 27-year-old Fort Pierce resident Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out.
She says she was refused a refund and told all sales were final. A cashier told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate.
"This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one," Goodman told police, according to The Stuart News. "This is an emergency."
Police say Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge. A current phone listing for Goodman couldn't be found.
A McDonald's spokesman says Goodman should have been given a refund, and she's being sent a gift card for a free meal.
Seriously?? 911 over nuggets?!?!?!!?!? Granted they told her wrong about the whole refund thing, but seriously. 911!!!!!!!
Fla. police say she called emergency number 3 times after store runs out
FORT PIERCE, Fla. - Authorities say a Florida woman called 911 three times after McDonald's employees told her they were out of Chicken McNuggets.
A police report says 27-year-old Fort Pierce resident Latreasa L. Goodman told authorities she paid for a 10-piece last week but was later informed the restaurant had run out.
She says she was refused a refund and told all sales were final. A cashier told police she offered Goodman a larger portion of different food for the same price, but Goodman became irate.
"This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn't have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one," Goodman told police, according to The Stuart News. "This is an emergency."
Police say Goodman was cited on a misuse of 911 charge. A current phone listing for Goodman couldn't be found.
A McDonald's spokesman says Goodman should have been given a refund, and she's being sent a gift card for a free meal.
Seriously?? 911 over nuggets?!?!?!!?!? Granted they told her wrong about the whole refund thing, but seriously. 911!!!!!!!
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