Wednesday, December 17, 2008

My Heart Did Not Grow 6 Sizes *Update* *Update Again*

I have an issue with forced gift giving. Every year, without consideration about other people's financial situation(which most every one has a tight one right now) a few of my department mates decide what is going to be done about giving our boss a gift. This year, I expressed the need to maybe do something other than chip in for a present. Make a donation in our boss' name (she set up a fund when her mother died) or everyone bake her something(she doesn't cook). And I was told that "No matter WHAT we do, you STILL HAVE TO chip in."

And that's when my inner bitch kicked in.

"No, Mrs. Nosey, I DON'T have to chip in." (she is the office gossip and has absolutely no respect for a person's privacy and feels free to ask all manner of personal questions.)

All eyes suddenly find the floor very interesting.

No one wanted to bake anything.

No one wanted to donate to anything.

No one else would speak what was on their mind.

I know that our boss does a lot for us. Lunches, treats, etc. And I appreciate it all. I do not expect her to do these things. She does a fine job of expressing her appreciation for our work verbally and that is more than enough for me. I know I am appreciated.

It's not that I don't want to do anything for her, I just feel that forcing everyone to participate in a group gift is wrong.

And I also feel that it is wrong to make people feel bad if they would prefer not to participate. There are a few of these same office mates who grouse about bringing a dish for office pot lucks. Something they have every right to refrain from participating in. And usually do refrain, but still help themselves to what others gladly make and bring.

I know that one of my department mate's husband hasn't had a steady job in several years, and they struggle on a daily basis.

No consideration was taken for her situation.

I know that another department mate is the primary bread winner in her home which also helps to support some of her off springs, and their off springs.

Again, no consideration was taken.

I know that another one has taken in her sister and the sister's baby and the sister does not have steady income.

No consideration taken.

Another has lost a majority of their savings/retirement due to the situation with the Automotive problem.

One member wasn't event present and therefore wasn't even ask what she thought. She has a new house, a new baby, and her spouse just started a new job. In the automotive industry.

And they all just stood there. Eyes down cast. Not wanting any confrontation.

so I am the bad guy(once again, I objected last year for the first time, which caused much hissing and booing) because I thought to consider that maybe just maybe we should rethink the forced gift participation.

Silly me.

So let's just raise the gift amount! YAY! (yes, that's what they did. amazing.stuck to me they did.)

*They raised it AGAIN, but if I can't come up with it, that's ok, I shouldn't worry. I wonder if this was said to anybody else?*

**I was just 'reminded' of how much I still owe. But not by the person collecting, noooo, by Mrs Nosey. ggggrrrrrrr**


Anonymous said...

I can't help it if people think I'm a grinch, I think forced gift giving sucks, and negates the Christmas spirit. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, because we can just be together. No one has to get stressed out about buying more stuff. I'm up to my eyeballs in stuff. Please, please, no more stuff. Donations are great, nothing is better.

I feel confident that your boss would hate it if she knew everyone was forced into buying her a gift!

bernthis said...

OMG- I had a situation with a bunch of soccer parents because I my being an assistant coach wasn't enough and a couple of parents thought I should bring snack as well b/c well b/c they know everything. meanwhile, several other parents brought nothing and did nothing, oh and did I mention, I was the only single parent out of the ten couples. Good for you.