I am NOT that F'ing OLD!!!

The other weekend I picked up my phone to check Face Book and saw that I had a ton of "private messages". Since the "upgrade" for FB on Android SUCKS SWEATY BALLS, I was unable to see the full source of the messages.  I commandeered F's laptop and ended up spending the next hour reading message after message concerning my TWENTY YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION.
The Fuck?  Twenty years??? 20 YEARS.  How the hell has it been 20 years? HOW!!!???
I decided instead of everyone in the class scrolling through enumerable messages, it would be quicker, and easier, to just set up a FB Group for said reunion. That is how I found myself the Admin of my TWENTY YEAR reunion FB Group.  I'm not even the one who started the discussion! I simply created a group. Easy Peasy. So far it seems that most people are quite willing to attend said reunion next year. I am actually shocked at how quickly the "Will Attends" started adding up.  I am also rather shocked at how many people are requesting to be my friends. Honestly? Some I am having a really hard time remembering who they are. I read through some of the names on the "Members" list, and I'm all, "Who the Fuck? That person was so not in my class!"
And then I got one friend request that made me slam the laptop closed in disgust. "Seriously?!!?" I mentally screamed at the FB request. "SERIOUSLY?!?!?! After YOU unfriended ME you want to be 'friends' again?? I am SO NOT answering this right now!" Then I remembered that I chronicled my disgust back when the self important unfriending happened. That I could relive the moment clearly instead of just from memory. I still haven't answered his friend request. I  just don't know if it is really worth it. Is it silly of me to still be hacked about something that happened 2.5 years ago? I don't need to be "friends" with everyone that asks, right? I have control over that. Might it seem bitchy? Probably. But I can't say I really care. Ok, maybe a little, I hate hurting people's feelings. I just keep going back to how he unfriended people to begin with and how it has been almost three years and he is just now noticing that I'm no longer one of his friends.
OMG, Face Book, you create too many issues!!!!! I am slightly disappointed in myself that I am even spending time on this! I just decided, I am NOT going to accept, so there, NAH!

Hard Core Yo!

PCH is coming at ya strong !! They be rollin with the BIG DOGS
WOOF WOOF

Really PCH??? This rough and tumble look is a bit much. It makes me think your money is dirty.
Mob ties??

Ed would be so distressed.

Things I Learned From PANDORA.com

THREE WHOLE verses of KNOCK KNOCK KNOCKIN' on HEAVEN'S DOOR
Could this song be any darker and death-y??

Subjugation seems like a mighty big word for a song with THREE WHOLE VERSES of the same FIVE words over and over again.
I'm just sayin........

Stop Eyin' (Eyein') Me....

I do not care for seafood. This is a long standing dislike. Goes back many a years to a childhood fraught with 40 Fridays of Fish sticks. I'm talkin about Lent y'all. Yes, mom would swap Fish stick Friday with Spaghetti Friday, but nothing could wipe out the horror that is the fish stick.  Recently, when F and I went to Boston for a job interview,(him, which he didn't get, BOSTON damn it) he was in pure heaven, while I roasted in hell simply so he could enjoy some seafood. The hotel suggested a place down the street that was very popular with the locals. It was in a strip mall. Anyhoodle, my olfactory sense triggered a massive gag reflex when F opened the door.  I cringed, my face scrunched up in that "oh! gross smell!!!!!!!" look as my eyes fell upon a sea food DELI. A strip mall fish market.  F pushed me through the connecting door none too soon as I held my breath. The smell wasn't nearly as strong on the restaurant side.  But it is not just the smell my digital friends that sends me in to convulsions. The look gets me too. I cannot stand to have my food look back at me. AT ALL. EVER. It grosses me the hell out. So you can imagine how I felt when I opened an e-mail from a local Mediterranean restaurant and saw this STARING back at me. I gag just thinking about it!

THOSE EYES!!! Seriously. COOKED EYES.

GAG GAG GAG GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG.

A Realization I'd Rather Not Have Had

Remember this wedding F and I went to back in August? I thought I told you about the woman who showed up towards the end, but now I see I did not. I must have thought better of it at the time. The wedding was going all fine and well, we were all having a great time, when the origin of the word "Frenemy" walked in. Our table fell silent. Now this woman, I had not seen or heard from her in almost 20years. I was completely shocked to see her. And then I was completely upset. After almost 20 years the old rage and anger and hurt came exploding to the surface. I had no idea anyone was still in contact with her. Frenemy was the queen of the cut down, friend or foe; no one escaped her cutting words. She could deliver a backhanded compliment that would only dawn on you days later, that, HEY! That was MEAN! She always thought she was better than the rest of us, even though my circle took her in when the "in crowd" tossed her out. Out of all the girls in our circle of friends, I seemed to be the main focus of her attention when it came to slights and belittling. More often than not I held my own against her. But it stung. It hurt. And when we all scattered to different colleges, I was not at all heartbroken to be rid of her. Every now and again when I would go home for a visit I would hear what she was up to. Kicked off the college volley ball team. Dropped out of school. Drugs, she told me herself at a wedding one year. Then the reports stopped coming. I didn't really care. I felt that I had finally moved on. Then I heard she gotten married. And had the mother of our mutual friend,  R, do the flowers for her wedding. Not once did she try to contact R when she was in town dealing with R's mom. It appeared to me, that she'd had no problem cutting ties with her old h.s. acquaintances.


The Bride from the wedding in August sent out an e-mail announcing she was expecting. So I waited for the invite to her baby shower. It never came. So I put out feelers to those I knew keep in better contact with her than I do. In the end we decided to throw her a little shower of our own. A few ladies from way back were invited, no prob, it would be nice to see them after all these years. But then the Face Book message arrived from R: "A sent me text telling me she invited Frenemy and wants to honor her as well since she just had a baby."

Well ok. That little message sent my anxiety sky rocketing. I do not want to buy her a present. I had no idea she was even pregnant. My anger rolled over me. I shot off an e-mail to a friend who had recently come to me with a similar situation. I was disgusted with myself for still allowing Frenemy to affect me. To still be able to get under my skin after almost 20 freaking years. I tried to search myself for the forgiveness that I see in so many others. And that is when it hit me. My anger, my hurt, came not just from what Frenemy had put me through all those years ago, but from the lack of support from the other girls.

No one ever told her to stop. No one ever stood beside me in my defense. No one else, to this day, will admit what a bitch she was. A's husband actually told F at the wedding that "she's just a poor misunderstood little rich girl." Maybe. Maybe not. But it is with this realization that I am still hurt by my friends’ lack of support, that I feel calm. That I feel I can handle seeing her again, and being forced to interact with her.

It also comes with sadness. Sadness at the realization that my friends maybe weren't, and possibly aren't the good friends I thought they were/are. I am a ferociously loyal person. Every personality test and horoscope will tell you the same thing. I expect the loyalty I give to be returned, in full. And now I finally have to admit, that my childhood friends possibly aren't that loyal. Something F has been telling me from day one.

This saddens me to no end. And I am not sure how to move forward from here. I do not want to cut ties altogether, after all, R and I have been friends since 3rd grade. That is a lot of history to walk away from. But at the same time, walking away may be the only way to let the healing begin.

What to do my digital friends? Have any of you found yourself in this spot???

Let's Talk About it!

I have a deep question for all of you.

If you see someone in need of help, but don't offer to help, and they don't ask FOR help, has any thing wrong happened???


Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand DISCUSS!!!

Best IDEA EVER.....

I had the best IDEA EVER while slamming the snooze on the alarm this morning.  A Work Bus. Yep, like my years of yorn on the School Bus, a WORK BUS would come by my house, pick me up and then for the hour long ride into work I could slump in the seat with my knees pressed against the seat in front of me while I took a pre-work nap. Just like when we were in school there wouldn't be anyone on there going anywhere else, just those of us heading to my office, which would cut down on the riff-raff. Door to door service! What more could you want? A preheated ride in the winter a precooled ride in the summer.  No insurance payments, no car payments, no GAS to buy. Seriously, we bus riders had it so good back then. If only I'd known that.
I think it is a fabulous idea and I'm going to submit it to the big bosses, ASAP.

I think they'll be as sold on the pre-work nap idea as I am.

But, YOU asked ME

Face book and I have an on again, off again relationship. I do not spend much time on there. I've taken maybe 5 of the quizzes, out of like a MILLION that they have. I rarely update my status, and only occasionally post on other people's wall. I'm pretty sure most of the people I'm "friends" friend requested me, I did not friend request them. Point in fact, this guy I've known since 1st grade, whom I never really cared for, was one of the FIRST people outside of family who friend requested me. Trying to be the bigger person, I accepted. While scrolling through people's updates, I came across a rather rude, or jerky, wall posting by said guy. I don't remember the exact wording but it went something like this, "REPLY TO THIS WALL POSTING TO REMAIN A "FRIEND" OTHERWISE, YOU ARE A "FRIEND" NO LONGER. SO LONG FACEBOOK 'FRIENDS'. "


What the? "So long"? Why not just add the SUCKERS! because he certainly inferred it. It didn't look like many people had replied. I really had to refrain from posting: "You requested me to be your FB FRIEND. I found this completely amazing considering we were never REAL Friends in R.L. anyway. But I thought maybe time had changed you, but alas, I can see it has not. You are still the same attention seeking jerk face you always were. Please do not misunderstand this "reply", I am not seeking acceptance as your friend. I didn't before and I sure as hell am not going to start now. Gladly remove me as a FB 'Friend'."

How can you ax people YOU friend requested? Seriously? That is just way rude. I did not post my reply to his demands.

I feel victorious for not raising to bait.

Jerk face.

I have ESP

How is this for weird?? Someone from my past popped into my head last night. OUT OF THE BLUE. And I wondered to myself, "I wonder how she's doing? What happened with the kid she had in high school??"

And low and behold, this morning, Face Book tells me she wants to be friends!!!!!
I have to say, this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me. It apparently runs in the family. My grandmother would have a very specific dream right before someone was going to die.
I need to harness this power. Take it to a new level. Love it and feed it and make it grow.

'Cause the Lotto ain't gonna win itself.

No Thumb Blisters here!

I have a friend. In fact, you've read about her before. We've been friends since 2nd grade. She is an elementary teacher. She NEVER reads her e-mail. She joined Facebook because "I hear you put all your updates on there now." (i don't. I'm hardly ever on there.) She never updates her own page.


I don't see her as being very tech orientated. Maybe she is, in her own home, I don't know. What I DO know is that she got a Crackberry after I told her how much F loved and misses the one he had for like a week. So now? Instead of sending me e-mails or updating her Facebook from her Crackberry, she sends me texts. And then signs them, like you would a letter or an e-mail.

CRACKS ME UP.

Like the one she sent me last night:

"HEY! Wondering about our annual girls night out get together over the holidays. Let me know. R"

So I immediately sent her one back. Which is how text is supposed to work, right??

Have not heard another word from her!

Ah R. You do delight me.

Climb that ladder Bitch!

"You can rise above your family."


Wise words (insert sarcasm here) from the Nutritionists that I went to see because all my "levels are high".
I was trying to explain to her why to me an apple or any piece of fruit is not a "snack" food. In my family a snack was a homemade cookie, or granola square. Not a handful of grapes like it was in F's family.
I was already on the defense as it was, and her comment completely shut me down.
Not very mature, or open minded, I know. But it just rubbed me the wrong way. It is not like I come from a family of tax evaders or insurance defrauders or ponzi schemers. We're cookie eaters for pete's sake! "Rise above" just makes it sound like my family is criminal rather than perhaps maybe having bad snacking habits
Needless to say I canceled my next appointment with theNutritionists.
Besides, she didn't tell me anything I really didn't already know from TV or magazines.
Less red meat and fat. Knew it.
More fruits and veggies. Also, knew it.
More excerise. Who doesn't know it?

It's not the knowing, it is the doing that makes the difference. I have a problem with the doing, not the knowing.
If you can tell me a way to make veggies taste good, I'm all, uh, eyes.

Where's the NUTS??!?!?! (in old lady "Where's the BEEF?!?! voice)

I just ate a Hershey's with Almonds bar. Size: 1.45 oz or 41g for my digital pals across the pond.


Now I thought I remembered the days of Hershey's with Almonds, when they first came out, and it was jammed packed with ALMONDS.

This one? This one had 8 almonds. 5 and 1/2 inches of chocolate contained 8 almonds. In a straight line, down the center of the bar. Roughly 2 almonds in each square, depending on how you break your bar apart.

Seriously Hershey's??? 8 ALMONDS??? I know things are tight for everyone right now, but I would think you'd want to REWARD someone for coughing up the cash to purchase said candy bar with more than 8 measly almonds. I mean what's next? A Take 5 will only have a pretzel in ONE of the two pieces? Or maybe caramel in one of the two pieces?(depending on what package you buy of course, some come with more than 2 pieces of candy in them). Are you going to take ALL the goodness out of our candy fun?? Smaller sizes. Fewer nuts and less caramel. WHAT IS THE CANDY WORLD COMING TO????



It's called good marketing and quality products. Look into it Hershey's!!!

I'm a Kid Again

I went to Target, the evil store of extra spending, and ended up leaving with, wait for it..............


EXTRA ITEMS!!!

I always get sucked in by the $1 SPOT! This time, oh the trip down childhood lane!!! Seriously, how could I possibly walk away from SILLY PUDDY?? The ORGINAL???? This was RIGHT NEXT TO SLINKY Jr!!!! Which is METAL, not the crappy plastic! SCORE and SCORE. I can barely wait to show my new items to F. Who I'm sure will say, "We never had that when I was a kid." proceeded of course by an eye roll at my joy followed by a lecture about responsible spending.

Can you really deny me $2 dollars of happiness?

I think not.

I also considered buying one of each for my siblings just so we could play like we used to. Without the fighting of course, since we'd all have our own!

Actually, I should tell my mom so she can pick them up as stocking stuffers!!!

That e-mail will write itself!!

Another 10 minutes, PLEASE mom?!?!?!

This morning as I shuffled about getting ready for work I actually paused in front of clothes hooks and longingly looked at my oversized t-shirt and pj pants. For a fleeting moment I pictured myself dressed in these lovingly comfortable clothes with my hair in a ponytail sitting at my desk doing my work. My body sighed at the prospect of no heels or knee highs or curling iron. Then I gave a heavy sigh as the picture faded away and Adulthood snuck back in.


More and more I understand those crazy kids and their propensity for wearing their pj pants out and about in public. My new favs are a pair of Nautica pj pants from Costco (my pants are light blue and sadly did not come with pictured studly lad in them, *la sigh*). So incredibly SOFT. Seriously, pj pants are this generation's version of the sweat suit, aren't they?  When I was in elementary school I had TWO sweat suits, one in aqua and one in purple that had a dancing Kermit the Frog on them. I was STY-LIN'.

Oh and my LL Bean WICKED Good slippers. Truly, sloth heaven.

Dress code be damned! We need a pj pant and slipper day at work!!!
Who's with me?!?!?!!?!?

Can You Tell Me How to Get, How to Get to Sesame Street????

OMG. I can't believe how talented and patient Bakerella is. Check out her post commemorating Sesame Street's 40 Year celebration!!!!


Here's to 40 more!!! Best kids show, ever!!!
I totally want some of these cake pops!!

I LOOOOOOVED me some Oscar, and Cookie Monster. But I’ll have to say my FAVORITE character is Slimey the Worm. Oscar’s only true friend.

He is a worm of few words.

Who is your favorite???