2012, Stay in Your Own Decade Please

So, I signed up to received these news letters from these people. Probably because they said if I did I'd have a chance to win something. They presented themselves as  hip e-news for today's women.
But then I got this, and I'm thinking maybe not so much................

TURBAN HEADBANDS. WTF??? NO. Just, NO.

Advise Me Please

For the last several years I have been on the hunt for a new winter coat. The coat I currently have, albeit extremely warm is over 10 years old. I bought it while still in college. I graduated from college in 1998. Needless to say, it is out of fashion.

Ahem.

Anyway, I thought it would be extremely easy to lay my hands on a coat that I would love. I do after all live in the Midwest, home of the great white winters and freezing temps. I could not believe how sadly mistaken I was. This hunt has gone on for at least 3 years now. I came oh so close last year while “Back East” for Christmas, but they did not have it in my size.  Bastards. However, it did lead me to know that I could find a coat in their store if I started looking early enough.  The ninety degree heat of August was apparently the right time.

I purchased about six coats, all of wool. I settled on this little number.

I really love it. I will wear it without the belt however because it just cuts me in the wrong spot. It is currently with ES because in order for the coat to close over my chest I had to order a bigger size. So she is taking it in to give it more of a nice shape.  The color is amazingly rich and the double collar really completes the look.

Where I am stuck at however is what color I should have for accessories. My last coat was tan suede so it really doesn’t go with egg plant.  Because the throat/upper chest area is so open, and I’ve been known to get bronchitis at the drop of a hat, I really need to have this area covered and warm.  So I need scarf. And of course matching gloves.  My neighbor and I thought dark green, but then I decided that I didn’t want to actually look like this:

So I’m on the hunt for color suggestions. Cream? I already have a lovely cream scarf from my mom to go with another coat. But I don’t know if it would "pop" enough.  I’d really like to stay away from black. Multicolored? I just don’t know! HELP ME my digital friends!!!

Check THESE Out!!

Crazy Co-Worker has been on a shopping spree and likes to show and discuss with me her new outfits. I am more than happy to talk clothing with people. Hit me up anytime!
However, when you corner me in the bathroom and force me into this conversation, well, I'm not so inclined to chat with you.

"You know DH, these new clothes of mine are great. I even got new underwear."
"Really?"
"Yep. I like the silky ones, you know? And these new ones, you can wear instead of a slip because they are made out of slip material and don't show your panties lines. Have  you heard of them?"
"No?"
"We I really like how they feel. And around the leg they have these ridges, to keep them down."
"Yes, made of rubber, right?"
"YES! Like see these leopard print ones *pulls down her waist band about 4 inches to expose said silky leopard print* Are real nice, feel them."
I of course hesitate. Feeling someone else's underwear while they are wearing it? Odd.

"Go, on."
I gingerly touch said leopard print silky underwear on CCW's exposed hip.

"Right?? Nice!!"

"Yes, very." (please don't let anyone walk in right now!)
"But you see when I wear them with regular stockings they fall down! So I spend all my time hitchin and yankin them back up."

I giggle as she makes the motions in the bathroom mirror of hitchin and yankin up her nylons. I mean really, how could I not relate to that?

"But when I wear these kind of stockings, *exposes her leg to show me tights* They work perfectly!"

"That makes sense."  I say as we both head towards the door. "Just know CCW, that I won't being feeling any new bras you may have gotten."

"*LOL* oh DH, you're the ONLY one I've told about my panties!"


Lucky me.

Change Day

So this is what happens in the Midwest when you go from 70 degrees and sunny one day to 55 cold, windy, rainy and the heat is out in the office.

Yes, those yellow things are baby chicks
And not that you care, but the heels are by Aerosoles, my most favorite brand in all the world.

SOCKS, with DRESS SHOES because the weather changed over night and I haven't had time to change my Wardrobe from "Summer" to "Winter". Also know as changing from "Open Toe" to "Closed Toe". Basically, I haven't washed my knee highs, or as the store calls them so you don't feel like your Grandma, "Trousers Socks" yet. Guess I'll have to dig them out of storage. Fun fun.

Some how I don't see my style making Big Mama's Fashion Friday edition any time soon.

Bra Venting

So, I am one of those women have has a naturally large chest. This has been an issue for YEARS people, and I mean YEARS.  As a young girl, and I do mean YOUNG, child like even, I was the only one with a chest, you can only imagine the horror of that where the boys were concerned. HORROR. Throughout my middle school and high school years I was always leery of boys' interest in me. Did they like me for ME? or for my boobs?? This could be part of the reason why I never dated in high school. I just didn't trust the males. Of course SES telling me boys would only be interested in my boobs probably didn't help either. Anyway, buying bras has always been a trip down Painful and Boring Ave. Painful because finding a bra that would fit and HOLD me properly was kind of non-existent for a very long time. Boring because once you get beyond a  certain size all you find for color is Beige, or Nude, or White, or Off-White and on a really lucky day, Black.  Enter my discovery of Lane Bryant. COLOR! SIZES! SELECTION! PATTERNS! MATCHING PANTIES!! HEAVEN.  It is great.  In the beginning though LB's bra's were constantly giving me issue with the under wire. Without fail, the under wire would eventually pop out of the bra. In the front, on the side. And if you've ever had to go an entire day with a metal wire poking you in the chest or arm pit, you know this was far from fun. After a few years, they greatly improved, and I ceased to have a wire poking issue. Until recently. One of my newer bras popped through and started poking my arm pit. NOT COOL. So today I spent 15 minutes untangling the thread so that I could patch up the hole and wear the bra. 10 minutes after I got to work, the damn thing broke through the patch job and is currently making its presence known in my pit. WTF bra? WTF?
On a similar note I saw this article well, actually one similar, about the company making size L. I immediately went to their site, they are a U.K. company. I was greatly saddened to see that they only carry up to a certain "girth" size. I e-mailed them and asked if they made bigger sizes, because seriously, their bras were so PRETTY.  Basically, I was told that there was no demand for them, and until there was, they wouldn't be making them. Seriously???? I think they are missing a serious demographic here.  I would totally be willing to pay extra for their pretty SUPPORTIVE bras.
*la sigh*
If you are with me on this ladies, please e-mail the company and tell them there IS a demand!!!

Eve is Lookin a Little Too Much Like Adam.....

Somehow, me thinks this bathing suit is on the wrong mannequin.

I'm just sayin.........

Zappos, or more likely Nike, you may want to look into this.

Me Needs Some Pants

As I said before, I've started going back to the gym by taking the fitness classes they offer. A new round of classes will start soon and since it is summer, I need some cooler (heat wise, not style wise) workout pants. The ones I have now I LOVE. They are super comfy and stylish. But with the temps already topping out over the 70's, I will need something with less fabric. Crops, or Capris, something along those lines. Especially since I've signed up for ZUMBA! (i hope my instructor doesn't wear the little hat like the guy on the web page does. CHEESY) I'm hoping for a really great workout and since I am always hot, I don't want to get over heated by wearing the wrong thing. So I've start scouring the web for some cute, yet functional PLUS SIZED Knit Capris. No easy task my friends. They have to be just the right length or I end up looking stumpy, and that is NOT good.

Here is what I've found so far:

Lane Bryant wants $50 bucks for these!!!! Um, NO. Which makes me sad because they are way cute.

These are cute too, but I think the fabric isn't cotton. I don't that SWISHing sound as I workout.

These are Nike's from Nordstrom's $55!!!!!!! Dude, WTF? They are COTTON.

These are from Old Navy, and you can only order them from online.

The reviews are ok, but the ones with the pockets I'm not so sure about. Potential GAPING issue.

Plus, they're $20.

These are also Old Navy, but on sale for $12.50, maybe worth the try.

These are from Roaman's, and they are my FAVS. The reviews are AMAZING.

But apparently I missed their season, because this color and almost a white tan

are the only ones left in my size.

Now THESE. HELLO DADDY. What girl wouldn't want to stuff her plus sized body into these????

Does anybody know of any good crop/capris yoga pants that aren't crazy expensive and are still available??? I really need to get some!

Why Its on Sale

You know when it looks bad even on the model, it is a BAD IDEA.

Every slighty over weight girl should take one look at those sleeves and feel the need to fire up the Bic.

Seriously. BAD. IDEA.

The look on her face says: "HAHA, you're kidding me right? You aren't serious about this being a top you're trying to market to girls with hefty arms. For $60 bucks. Right?? Right??????? No marketing it down to $50 does not make it any better."

Taking Donations

OMG people!!! I have found THE dress for the wedding back East in May!! Alas, it is $200!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot justify that!!! CANNOT.

LOVE. LOVE.LOVE.

****UPDATE*****

CBF just found it in GRAY as well!!!

Sliting wrists now.....

Shoulders Back, Chest Out

I was talking to my mother the other night on the phone. She likes to update me on all things that go on in her little snowbird community. I was listening half heartedly when she started ranting about t-shirts. She and her "Gentleman friend" (because "DH, he's NOT a BOY!!"), were at some function where they were selling t-shirts. I'd say it's safe to assume the event t-shirts, like many event t-shirt, were unisex. This in no way was acceptable to my almost 70 yr old mother. She apparently expressed her displeasure to the poor woman volunteer who was manning the shirt sales.


My Mom: "Why don't you sell V-neck shirts for the women?"

Woman Volunteer: "I don't know."

My Mom: "Well you should! Most women (she means her age) don’t like things up around their necks."

Woman Volunteer: "Oh? Is that so?"

My Mom: "YES! Plus women look better in V-necks! It shows off your chest better. I bet you'd sell more if they were V-necks."

Woman Volunteer: "That could be."

Not at all satisfied that she'd convinced the woman, my mom left. She went on to tell me that it was the stupid men who probably ordered the shirts in the first place and hence the total lack of a V-neck choice.

She also told me she'd be shopping for a V-neck sweater/sweatshirt while home. (she came home for the holidays.) Because "Your chest just LOOKS better in a V-neck DH, you know this."

Yes mom, yes I do.

Christmas Came EARLY!!!!!

My shoes are WAITING for me at HOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Your package has been delivered. To view Proof of Delivery, please select the link.





Tracking Information


Tracking Number: [redacted]  Status: Delivered


UPS has delivered the shipment.
Residential deliveries that do not require a signature may be left in a safe place, out of sight and out of weather, at the driver's discretion. This could include the front porch, side door, back porch, or garage area. If you have instructed the driver to leave the shipment with a neighbor or leasing office, this would be noted on a yellow UPS InfoNotice left by the driver.


Delivered On: 12/17/2009 2:23 P.M.
Location: PORCH
Delivered To: [MY HOUSE]
 

My new babies!!!

 

 

In Dark Brown

Another 10 minutes, PLEASE mom?!?!?!

This morning as I shuffled about getting ready for work I actually paused in front of clothes hooks and longingly looked at my oversized t-shirt and pj pants. For a fleeting moment I pictured myself dressed in these lovingly comfortable clothes with my hair in a ponytail sitting at my desk doing my work. My body sighed at the prospect of no heels or knee highs or curling iron. Then I gave a heavy sigh as the picture faded away and Adulthood snuck back in.


More and more I understand those crazy kids and their propensity for wearing their pj pants out and about in public. My new favs are a pair of Nautica pj pants from Costco (my pants are light blue and sadly did not come with pictured studly lad in them, *la sigh*). So incredibly SOFT. Seriously, pj pants are this generation's version of the sweat suit, aren't they?  When I was in elementary school I had TWO sweat suits, one in aqua and one in purple that had a dancing Kermit the Frog on them. I was STY-LIN'.

Oh and my LL Bean WICKED Good slippers. Truly, sloth heaven.

Dress code be damned! We need a pj pant and slipper day at work!!!
Who's with me?!?!?!!?!?

Shoe Daddy

CBF and I have decided that instead of a Sugar Daddy, I need a SHOE Daddy. Someone who will give me free range to purchase any and all kinds of shoes that I may or may not be able to actually wear while standing up let alone be able to walk in.

I bought these shoes in black 2 yrs ago? And the heel cap thingie came off last winter.

I know it would be much more fiscally responsible if I took them and got them fixed, because I still love them.

But wouldn't it be way more fun to add these to my closet?

I own another pair that is very similar, but in navy blue:

And now I'm kind of in love with them in this color as well.

Or how about these?

This red is SASSY. But I have nothing to wear red sassy shoes with, so I would get them in black.

And remember these boots I bought in brown from Sears?

The buckle keeps coming off and the toe area rubber has completely eaten away so it is right down to cardboard and cloth. And I have NO IDEA how that happened since I don't scuff my feet when I walk or walk about on tip-toe. Again, I STILL Love them, but would be happy to love these as well:

Or love these.....

And how cute are these?

I have no idea why this picture is so small.

Purple. Sexy. Sassy. Who knew?

For some reason these speak to me as a Corporate Sexy cut-throat woman CEO. Amanda Woodward anyone? RRRAAAAOOOOOW.

Or you know, pretty much anything from Aerosoles.com would make me happy.

Where they find the "Guests" For Jerry Springer

Thank You Sassy Two Socks.
This new website has brightened my day.
A whole blog dedicated to the People of Walmart, or as I like to refer to it, White Trash World.

Please shower after exiting.

Bad Combo

White Blouse + Bloody Nose = Tide Pen EMERGENCY!!!

I don't understand why the Tide Pen leaves that weird ring after it drys on some fabrics but not on others.

Design flaw.

But still better than a bloody stain on my blouse.

Pants and Protest

Cops beat women protesting Sudan trouser ban

Group supporting female journalist arrested for wearing trousers in public

Sudanese journalist Lubna Hussein, right, who faces 40 lashes on the charge of "indecent dressing," flashes a victory sign to her supporters as she enters the court in Khartoum on Tuesday. She is going on trial for wearing trousers in public, a violation of the country's strict Islamic laws.


Can I just tell you, that as I read this article, I was upset. Granted, I do not understand this, fear? of women wearing slacks, pants, trousers, whatever you may call them. I do understand that not long ago women did not wear "trousers" in the USA. And we've moved past this. I do understand that there are still some places where the dress code requires women to continue to adhere to this thought pattern. Dressing in this manner however is a matter of personal choice. You do not have to work at the place that requires you to wear a skirt and pantyhose. You can choose a religion that allows you to dress as you please. I know a woman, whom I in fact just reconnected with via FB, whose religion mandates that females wear skirts and/or dresses when out in public. She wore a skirt to school EVERY SINGLE DAY. She explained that in her version of the Bible (yes there are different versions, something I didn't know until like my late teens) it says that men and women are to dress differently. I don't remember all the logic behind it, but it made sense at the time. Especially since she stressed it was a choice to follow that dress code. But outside of that, No one is going to arrest you for wearing "trousers" in public. If this were the case, I would be flogged on a daily basis. I own exactly 3 skirts, and 4 dresses. I have never been much of a skirt/dress wearer. Even as a child. In fact, now that I think about it, neither of my sisters are skirt wearers, even though our mother, who is of the skirt & pantyhose era, is very much a skirt/dress wearer. I own at least 10 pairs of jeans, and 9 pairs of dress pants that I wear to work each week. Not all at once of course. I do not feel that because I wear "trousers" that I am less feminine. Wearing trousers does not change the fact that I am a female. That is all DNA, something I can not change. Wearing "trousers" can not now, nor will it ever, change that fact. When there are people in great need of food and clean water and proper housing and health care**, I find it extremely distressing that a government chooses to put resources into policing a dress code("public order police") instead of helping its people. I do not believe I will ever understand the oppression of woman based in religion which is then made into law. Every time I see an article like this I can't help but ask myself, "Why are they afraid of their women???"
Ignorance on my part, perhaps. If someone can explain it to me, I ask that you do. Politely of course. You can maybe make me understand, but you can never convince me.


**I do realize the US is not anywhere near blameless where any of these things are concerned. And I know we, as a nation, need to fix our own problems.

Captain Spanx

Remember the battle of bulge vs Spanx that I had at SES's wedding? Well that battle was fought again while we were Back East.

It was HOT. The humidity was high. (do we notice a pattern here?) and MIL and FIL do not believe in the advent of A/C. (they had one window a/c unit that they ran while the windows were open.) I was confined into a very small room with one high velocity floor fan. Once again I did the yank and tug dance as F stood by waiting. I had asked him to be on standby when those last few crucial inches needed to be bridged. I'm sure his mother was wondering what was going on. The craziness of it all finally hit me and I began to giggle.
F:"This is NOT funny." he challenged.
Me: "It is. It is because it is so pathetic. Now please tug."
This time, having learned my lesson, the seams were in the proper place. The battle also took less time because I'd fought it once already.
Wriggle.
Tug.
Grunt.
Wriggle.
Squirm.
Cry.
Break down from insanity.
Thank goodness this battle won't have to be fought again until mid-
August when we have a wedding to attend.
Please, I beg, let our hotel have good a/c this time!!!!

Itchy

I am itchy to buy some new shoes. Always makes a gal feel better, right?

I WANT THESE, alas, the 4 " heel would be disaster on my maneky ankle.

Damn you aging process!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!!!

Those Shoes, So Do Not Go With That Outfit

I made it all the way to the car before I realized that I'd put my blue heels on to wear to work.


I am wearing a brown outfit today.
It has NO blue in it what so ever.

Mental fog anyone???

I've Got the Double Blues

I have a love of shoes. I did after all order and return 52 pairs trying to find just the right pair for my wedding.
It took me a very long time, two years I believe, to find a pair of blue sandals I could wear to work during the summer months. I love the ones I have from Aerosoles, my favorite shoe haven. However, I just now noticed that they squawk when I walk. Is it wrong to buy new shoes when the only thing wrong with the old ones is that they are noisy? Do I really want to start a new search that could end badly? Even though I have a line on a new pair? Granted, not as sexy as the ones they'd be replacing, but very similar.
What is a girl to do??????

P.S. I heart THESE shoes and almost bought them for my sister's wedding. God help me if they go on sale!