Monday, March 29, 2010

Things Like This Are Why This Blog Is Named The Way It Is, Or The Longest Title I've Ever Had

So, Um yeah. Adulthood DOES SUCK. Let me give you an example as to why.


Flooding.

Not major Katarina type flooding, but water standing where it is not meant to stand type flooding. F and I were on our way to have some fabu middle eastern lunch on Saturday when his cell phone rang, scaring the crap out of both of us.

"Tenant is calling."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand my stomach fell to my shoes.

Tenant never calls just to say hi. Which I suppose in the scheme of things, I don't want Tenant calling every time a light bulb needs changing either.

F on the phone: "Shit. ....... Really? ........ Wait, leaking or flooding?.........Well we are about 2 hours out of town right now. But we'll turn around and come there.......Yeah, ok, no, we're coming...."

Tenant is never very clear about what the situation is. Or, F tends to tune him out when he calls. So I rarely get the full correct story. However, this time, I got to see for myself.

Water.

Standing water.

2-3 inches deep.(praise the lord it was inches and not feet)

The floor tiles were buckling.

The smell was, shitty. Literally.

In the time it took us to get there, because we did stop for lunch, Tenant had used an industrial sized shop vac to suck up most of the water.

Sewer back-up; due to a blocked drain and massive amounts of rain and melting snow.

F decided that he and Tenant would tackle the snaking of the drains on their own. I was taken home while F returned to the scene of my own personal horror.

About 2 hours later, F calls me.

"DH, you need to call around and get quotes from some professionals. We just can't get very far with this, not more than 3 feet." (a number he would later dispute with me, saying they'd gotten 25 ft of drain cleaned out. not.) So I called around. Four different places in fact. Apparently, backed-up drains were a hot ticket Saturday night, because they were all BOOKED. Yes. That's right, BOOKED. Either late into the night ("after midnight if you want to wait") or into MONDAY. I found one company that was not only the cheapest but would be to the rental property between 8 and 10 PM. I called F to confirm that that time period would work.

"YES SURE. Tenant hasn't been able to shower all day."

F came home at 6pm and said the smell of the waste (poo) was so stuck in his nose and mouth that he'd lost his appetite. I sent him to take a hot shower.

He kept complaining about how tired he was, I told him to go take a nap because I knew it was going to be a long night. He refused.

At 7:50pm he comes upstairs. "Let's GO DH!!!"
Me: "Go where?"
F: "To the rental! They'll be there soon!!!"

Silly BOY!!! Everyone knows that when they give you a window of time it is ALWAYS the latest time, not the earliest that they arrive at!!

Me as I make my way downstairs: "F, I'm not going over there and sit for 2 hours and wait for these people. Besides, they will call before they arrive. Let's just wait for the call."

For the next 2 hours he sat next to me on the couch and complained about how long we had to wait for the plumber to arrive back at the rental.

At 9:58PM F fumed and swore and threatened to call it a night. I convinced him to call the plumbing place instead. Apparently the Tech never got the message that he was supposed to add us to his route. We rescheduled for Sunday between 10 AM and Noon. You'd think after they "forgot" about us, we'd at least be at the top of their list. Not so much.

Sunday morning, we get a call. From Tenant. The water was back. Another 3-4 inches and maybe rising.

DAMN.

At 9:30 AM we arrive at the rental house to pick up the rented snake in order to return it.(a waste of $30) The tiles in the basement have buckled even more.

At 10:10 AM we hunker down for a TWO HOUR wait in our van out in front of the rental house.

At 11:55AM the Tech calls us to tell us he's on his way.

12:10PM Tech shows up.

12:15PM Tech assess the situation.

By 12:45PM Tech has finished the job and is packing his truck up to leave. He went 90 FT with his industrial Snake.

1:00PM I write Tech a check for $125.

1:10PM Tenant requests a 12 pack of beer "for his labor." F and I vacate the premises to purchase bleach for cleaning of the basement,("have HER pick it out, something that's NOT bleach smelling. She'll know, she's a woman and they know these things." Quote from Tenant to F.) a fan for drying of the basement and 2, 12 packs of beer for Tenant.

1:30PM We return to the rental property with fan, bleach (mountain fresh scent) and the 2 12 packs ("I said A TWELEVE PACK!!!" awes Tenant.)of beer.

2:00PM we stop for lunch.

3:00PM we return home and flop down on couch for the rest of the day, because really, who wants to do anything now???

I'm telling you my digital friends, as much as I LOVED my house when I lived there, and sometimes still dream of living there, I DO NOT IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM dream of having to deal with that crap again. If it had been me? There alone and this happened? I can't even tell you of the mass and depth of the puddle of despair and distress I would have been in.

If we could only sell the house for WHAT I STILL OWE. Oh the amount of money that would be freed up!! The bills we could PAY OFF!!!!

This my digital friends, is why sometimes, ADULTHOOD SUCKS.

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