Deep Thoughts, By F

F: "DH! I ordered most of the groomsmen gifts! I even got one FOR MYSELF!!!"

Me: "You got yourself a gift? That's not how it's suppose to work."

F: "I know, but they are cool and I'll use it for my hobby!"

Me: "Uhhu. And the other gifts?"

F: "I haven't gotten those yet."

Me: "Right, but you got yourself something?"

F: "*sigh* Goodbye!"

Me: "2 weeks! We have 2 weeks left!"

F: "GOOD. BYE."

Me: "bye."


F works with numbers and formulas all day long so when it comes to doing the math, I just stand back and let him, because seriously? My brain has a seizure when I have to do the math in my head.
The Caterer called over the weekend and wanted to know what our final menu choices were.
I was still in bed and I had a mini meltdown when she said, "For the wedding next weekend."
Me:"No! the 24th! Let me get my glasses and I'll go over the menu with you."
Caterer Lady: "That's ok, you can call me back."
Me: "Ok, I will."
F is standing there looking puzzled. Then when I tell him who it was, he starts firing questions at me. He'd been awake for 2 hrs already, I'd just been jolted out of bed, and was shaking from a lack of sleep and had just been freaked out by Caterer Lady that my wedding was a week sooner. So let's just say I was not in the best frame of mind. On the verge of tears I start writing down what we'd picked and F is looking over my shoulder. When I got to the hors d'oeuvre, he takes the paper and starts in on how for $2 more we can have crab cakes and stuffed mushrooms instead of the cheese and cracker and veggie combo.

Me: "But this is what we agreed on!"
F: " I know, but this is better stuff, for just $2 more."
Me: "But we agreed on the combo!"
F: "But we won't be there eating this stuff. And it's only $2 more!" (he knows I don't eat crab or fungus(mushrooms))

Somehow, my brain came through for me and did the math, knowing that F would relate to that better than me pouting and insisting that'd we already agreed on the combo.

Me: "Yes, but $2 times 100 people is $200 more for a mushroom!"
F: "Oh, right, well screw 'em then."

(see kids? math DOES pay.)

We are trying to stock up on food and snacks for when the 20 million people converge on our home. We were out on the hunt for pop (or soda for you East coasters) and are at our 2nd store during our 8 pm grocery shopping trip and have this conversation in front of the mid-aisle display of pop (soda).

Me: "Look, 3 for $10!"

F: "So that's let's see, that's 36 cans (i just had to use the computer calculator to put that number there) for $10 bucks."

Me: "Yep." (he could have said 56 and I would have agreed)

F: " And how many were at GFS?"

Me: "Um, there was 6 sets of 6 cans." (again, had to use the computer calculator to check the math.)

So F whips out his cell to use the calculator to figure out how much the cost would be PER CAN. I'm not kidding, PER CAN.

F: "32 cents versus 31 cents."

Me: "Uh, so a PENNY? We'd save A PENNY per can?"

F: "um, yeah."

Me: "Buy 6 and let's go."

Yes, 2 different stores for a 1 cent difference. That's my guy.

And that ends our math lesson for today.