Friday, June 13, 2008

Do I Bring Out The Crazy in Others?

Ok, so I told you about Sailor Mouth and her flipping out on the Dress Shop lady. I just got an e-mail from her; she wants to order her dress online from some random site in order to save money. I don't begrudge her wanting to save money. I so entirely know what it is to be broke right now. Like panic attack broke. I GET IT. I'm living it. So I told her that no, she could not order it online because the color might end up being different than everyone else's. I told her if it was too much money that I would understand if she wanted to bow out of the bridal party and come as a guest. She's the matron of honor. (CBF is the maid of honor.) I certainly do not want to drive any of my friends to financial ruin. (I couldn't afford to fly out and attend her bachelorette party and to this day I feel bad about it, but I just couldn't swing it and come out again for the wedding.) And I'm being completely sincere about not being upset if she can't afford the dress and decides she can't stand up in the wedding. She is my friend and I just want her there. I will not be angry, or hurt. And she apologized for being a pain about it in the original e-mail. So I'm not as hacked off as I was with CBF who just went bat shit crazy on me.
However, (did you see that coming?) what does grind me is the fact that she's constantly telling me how broke they are, but then is the same breath is telling me that with his or her bonus from work they are buying some new expensive toy, or how they are using their tax returns to go on some fabulous vacation. Then she tells me they went out and bought this HUGE camper, which they had to borrow money to get. Then, because the camper is so huge they had to buy a full sized truck to tow it. So my sympathy for your money troubles are just a tad bit less heart felt then they maybe could be. I was raised that you pay the bills first, THEN you get to go out and play if there is anything left. Sounds to me like she is doing this backwards.
I just don't know anymore. Why are these dresses becoming such an issue? I mean seriously! I did the best I could.
I really did.


mom2lo said...

Oh, the drama! I feel your pain! I'm just SO glad I got all this stuff over with 2.5 years ago! And I honestly don't think I had to deal with half as much drama as you brides deal with today. Plus I planned my wedding in 3 weeks, so I really didn't have time for the drama. Oh, and my 3 bridesmaids were my 3 sisters, so they knew they weren't allowed to go drama.


Just Another Day...

Anonymous said...

Ohh I'm so sorry hunnie. This whole wedding thing can be so stressful. I recently had a bridesmaid drink too much in my presence and have a melt down about money and my bachelorette, basically saying the rest of my girls were bitches and didn't understand where she was coming from. NICE.

GM said...

I really can't relate to the whole dress thing but I can't stand when people tell me they can't afford something or can't do something and then they spend too much on something else. I just want people to be upfront and truthful with me and tell me that they don't want to pay for it!

April said...

Why is that girls don't realize what they are saying yes to when you ask them to be in your wedding? And you ask, not tell. Right? And it cracks me up when they actually gripe about the dress. I have about 8 ugly bridesmaid dresses in my closet. All of them I paid for. All of them I looked hideous in. But it was not my wedding. I felt honored to be asked to stand up for friends. So I kept my mouth shut and wore what they asked and forked over money for dresses and alterations and shoes and travel. And I never said a word. Because that is what a friend does. I didn't say anything when one bride made us carry black lace parasols instad of bouquets. Oy vay! You did the right thing, you told her she could step down if she had to. Now it's up to her to be a grown up. Don't let it stress you out, you have enough going on. You don't need to be babysitting a bunch of grown women. Girls suck.