Saturday, December 19, 2009

No Thanks, Thanksgiving

Has anybody else seen this? It is from AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com.  First, with all these dishes that everyone else is bringing, what the hell is this woman making? And second, if I were these people I'd put all my required dishes in Tupperware and dare her to say something. I would LOVE to see a follow up on how this dinner went down. Oh to be a fly on all the many walls involved in this!!!!


The Thanksgiving Letter (back by popular demand)



November 26th, 2009

From: Marney

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders(who does this woman think she is???). I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL!(why the foil hate?) If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! (seriously? If they both scoop, what difference does it make? even for an OCDer such as myself this is a bit much)And please do not forget anything.


All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. (so, um, you expect to eat the minute people hit the door? i mean how are you going to keep everything HOT??)These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.



HJB—Dinner wine (why is this person getting off so easy?)

The Mike Byron Family


1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.(um so why have them?)


2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. (what??????? dude.)I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).


3. Toppings for the ice cream.


4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.(um, why do you care? water is water. they take home the leftovers.)



The Bob Byron Family


1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese(didn't she just say it was up to BBF on how to make them?) (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.


2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22). (again,why does it matter?)



The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family


1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level.(wow, sounds like someone is bitter about lisa not carrying her fair share in th past.) You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).(they do make small ones ya know)


The Michelle Bobble Family


1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.


2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon


3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.


4. A pie knife(why is the person who is not bringing a pie, bringing the pie knife???)



The June Davis Family


1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size (which would be what exactly?)casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container (this breaks the no plastic rule!!)and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.


2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay


The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)


1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe)(how do you know everyone likes that recipe???) no knife needed.


2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.


Looking forward to the 28th!!

Marney






(kindly submitted by Kara at http://californiakara.blogspot.com)

1 comment:

Raz said...

The next time someone makes a joke about how much I organise things and tell people where to be etc, I am showing them THIS. And reminding them that I really can't take a joke!