Make mine a Cranberry and Purell

I just read an article stating that a 2 oz thing of hand sanitizer has the same amount of alcohol as several shots of vodka. Some grade schools are pulling the sanitizers because of this. Now really, what kid would have thought to down a hand sanitizer before the big spelling bee to calm his/her nerves? They will now though, won't they? Thank you hard hitting investigative news, thank you.

I'll be trolling the grocery sale ads for a buy one get one sale on Purell, so much cheaper than Vodka.