Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Yeah, That's THE SPOT!!

I love me some good massages. I had my first REAL massage when I was in my twenties. I was completely freaked out when she started massaging my face, I didn't like that AT ALL, and I spent the entire time worried "the girls" were going to pop out of the sheet wrapped loosely around me. I have the boob popping fear to this day, every single time I go get a "real" massage. And what I mean by 'real' is stripping down to your panties and wrapping yourself in a sheet, laid out face down on a comfy table.
I can't afford to have real massages anymore. The last one I had was when my 30th birthday dude ranch weekend ended badly. That was several years ago.
Now I can somewhat afford the chair massages our office sponsors once a month. A person comes in, and you pay that person for an allotted time to give you a chair massage. Not as fabu as a full body massage, and your clothes stay on the entire time, but for what we pay, it does work out some kinks. But then I had a chair massage that went all kinds of wrong.
I've been having some pain in my lower back and asked to have that be the focus of my session.
Sweet Jesus on High!!! That girl had me curling my toes in pain and gripping the arm rest to the point that by the time she was done my neck,which had been fine upon entry, was a mass of knots and stressed out muscles, in need of its own massage. I told her it was hurting me as she did it, and she "eased up" a bit while she told me that it was all good and she was just trying to help. I was in so much pain that it hurt to sit down because my chair was pressing on my wounded area. That night while getting ready for bed I asked F to inspect for bruising. He found nothing.
I kid you not when I tell you that pain lasted for a good week before it subsided. I still have acid flashbacks about it. It made sleeping a bit of a nightmare. Sitting? Oh hellish! I think she went a little too deep on the deep tissue massage.
Problem is? It's bothering me again, but I'm too afraid of the pain to sign up again.
Anyone want to donate towards me getting a "real massage"????
Anyone??

1 comment:

O.G. said...

I had a massage once...it was a present. My masseuse (who was a woman) kept getting a little too close to the goods. I had a momentary fear that I might have an involuntary reaction...then she'd probably expect me to pay more for the tip...fear went unrealized.