Target On Your Back

Me excitedly: “F! I know what you can get me for my birthday!!!”
F: “Yeah? What?”
Me even more excitedly: “A CROSSBOW!!!!!!!!! I’ve always wanted one!!!”
F unsure and kind of frightened: “I’m not sure how I feel about that. Why do you want one?”
Me: “I’ve ALWAYS wanted one! I told you this! I told you this like last week that I wanted one!!!”
F: “This is what you want for your birthday? And NO, you didn’t tell this. I don’t want a crossbow in the house.”
(Heavy Pause)


Me: “I don’t need a crossbow to kill you.”
F: “You have to sleep sometime.”
Me: “Right back at ya.”