Bizzaro World Visit

I told you all that F and I were heading back East for a visit. And usually I have several stories to share with you about how crazy my outlaws are, but this time. Well THIS time, it was, well, NORMAL. There were no fights, no yelling matches, no cutting comments, and no cold shoulders. I felt like Eileen in the Bizzaro Seinfeld episode.
FIL called me by my name and said PLEASE when he asked me to do something.
SIL complained only once to F about us not visiting with them when we come out to the East Coast, and that only lasted until F put her in her place about not coming to visit him AT ALL except for the wedding (he’s lived in the Midwest for 4 years now and before that he lived in another state on the east coast for 6 years and they never visited him then either.).

There are 3 moments that stand out in my memory about this visit.

1) While attending a funeral at which F was a pallbearer, I ended up sitting with, FIL, MIL and BIL. During the funeral Mass BIL’s cell phone began to vibrate. I was HORRIFIED when he ANSWERED it. I had to restrain myself from jabbing him but GOOD in the ribs when MIL and FIL told him to put the phone away. I never shared this with F because the deceased was a close personal friend’s parent and F would have blown a gasket if he’d known of his Brother’s behavior. It would not have been pretty.
2) Remember SIL telling me 2 days before our wedding that she planned on divorcing BIL within the next 2 years?(she also shared this bit of info AT our wedding with the fiancée of our best man) and BIL telling me he was leaving her within the next year, again, AT our reception??? Well apparently things have changed, because now? Now they plan on RENEWING THEIR VOWS. This involves SIL getting baptized and all sorts of long involved things. And they are not just going to renew their vows, oh lawies no, she wants the whole WHITE WEDDING with cake and invites, the whole 9 yards. I guess to make up for the court house ceremony they had before where no one was invited.
3) MIL and I had a battle of wills, over food. The minute you step through the door at that house, you are offered food. Which is all fine and good, although I do wish they’d let at least let me pee first, but whatever. I had JUST rolled out of bed after an afternoon nap when immediately MIL wants to know if I’m hungry. I made the mistake of saying Yes. For the next 30mins she named off things she had, then started pulling stuff out of the freezer and proceeded to start to make it. I kept telling her, that, yes I was hungry, but at this point in time I didn’t know what, if anything, I wanted to eat; please stop asking me. Finally, I had to leave the room to escape the barrage of food and questions. After 10mins of silence, MIL summons me back into the kitchen. F and I rolled our eyes at each other. He felt my frustration. As I walked into the kitchen you could cut the tension with a knife. I thought for sure I was about to get my ass reamed.
“DH, you are like my daughter now. You must feel comfortable in this home, what is here is yours. Now tell me, what do you want to eat???”
“That is fine, I understand that. But then as your Daughter I’m telling you, PLEASE STOP trying to force me to EAT!!! Ok???”
It was a tense few moments while this conversation took place. But then she laughed, said OK, and I went back to watching TV with F. If she said anything to him later, I do not know. I did not end up eating anything until much later that night while we were out with friends.
I was forbidden from telling MIL this so that her feelings would not be hurt that she was not the one to feed me.
When we got home and I started unpacking the cooler I found all kinds of food in there from MIL.
Guess she won after all.