Wednesday, May 14, 2008


This is the E-mail I just sent to all of my Bride's Maids:

Ok Ladies,
It's that time! I need to you to please go to a dress shop or tailor i.e. someone who knows what they are doing, and get your measurements so I can go order your dresses! I figured it would just be easier to go and order them all at once so there would be less confusion. My Eldest Sister and I are going next week to the dress shop to get all the details about ordering and what-not so I'll have more info for you then. Right now though, just e-mail me your measurements which I will take to the dress shop to place the order. I hope to do the ordering before the end of the month or, at the very latest, the beginning of June.


The Bride

And this is the response I just got from CBF, you know, the one who said this has followed that up with this ever lasting bit of good cheer:

"Are you trying to stomp on all of my self-esteem. Do we really have to do this. I was hoping that the [redacted] weather would be conducive to losing some of my inches. This is humiliating. Ok, I'm through whining, but still."

Apparently, I am in charge of a 40 yr olds self esteem.
Who is a mental health professional.
Doctor, heal thy fucking self.
I am seriously at the point of telling her not to worry, because she's out of the wedding. Why would you say that to the bride? My god. Tell someone else, not me. WTF!

F made the mistake of just calling me to see "what's up?" and I told him we need to elope because I'm tired of trying to fucking please everyone.
He said yes, then said: "we can doing something little here, and use the money to pay off some bills."
"If I'm going to tell everyone to take a flying leap, I want to at least get some fun out of it. Not stay here and do nothing."

And to top it all off, I can feel the PMS kicking in.


Anonymous said...

UGH. That girl needs a kick in the pants. first of all, tell her to chill the F out. This is how it works with BM dresses -- you give them the girl's dresses and they get ordered not specific to all their sizes, but to their biggest part. So if she has big boobs the dress will most likely fit her there and will need tailoring everywhere else.

Regardless of her size now, I've known only ONE person that ever fit right into her dress. 99% need tailoring so if she looses weight, good for her. She can get the dress TAILORED to fit her.


April said...

Planning a wedding sucks. (Hi, I'm April, nice to meet you.) Like you don't have enough to worry about and now she's pulling the self esteem card. It's shocking how selfish a bridesmaid can be. Guess what, it's not about her. No one's going to be looking at her anyway. It's her duty as your friend to suck it up and act like a grown up. Don't let it bother you. It's your day. It's over so quickly. Enjoy what you can control and say screw it to the things you can't. And drink heavily. That helps too.

Anonymous said...

Umm the dress is UGLY and you are an awful friend. No worries - she will probably drop out of your wedding long before you ask her to leave. Good news though - after quickly scanning your posts I have no doubt that you'll be divorced quickly. So don't spend too much money on the wedding.

Anonymous said...

Good Lord Anonymous, and how do you really feel???

Is there a backstory to the backstory of why she is even one of your BMs???

Anonymous said...

I feel like anonymous must be someone you know that has been "drinking the hatorade" as they said in Delaware when I lived there. Why else with the open hostility and concealed identity??

I agree that your BM should have chosen someone else to vent to. Seriously. And I like your choice of dresses. It's hard to find something flattering for everyone, and you'll never make everyone happy, but you went with a generally flattering style in a pretty color. Also, that's part of being a bridesmaid. Suck it up or say no from the start.