Not a Vampire, but oh so CLOSE!

"I made a Difference Today, I Gave Blood."


That's what my sticker said.

I was totally shocked when the lady told me I'd reached a mile stone, I'd donated an entire GALLON of my blood over the years. I even got a pin. Says "Gallons Donated 1" on the bottom there.

(worst cell pic, dang)

Then I thought about how long I'd been donating, since I was 17, when we'd had a blood drive at our high school. That memory took me back, WAAAAAY back, to the H.S. Gym, where the drive was taking place. I was fearless, unlike I am today. Then, I laughed at all the Jock guys who were paling and passing out left and right. Today, I turn my head and try to practice breathing while they insert that huge ass needle into my arm. I understand that the nurses do this, or something akin to this, every single day, and therefore have become immune to it. But honestly? I have not. I do not, repeat, DO NOT need to see the 3 bags, and 2 vials and one "mini" bag that you are going to use to store my blood. Because at 6 pm at night, having just come from work without eating, those 3 bags, 2 vials and one "mini" bag look like they are going to hold a HECK of a lot more that a pint, or whatever you are taking. Sad right? after 18 yrs of donating I'm not even sure how much they take each time. Wait, I am, because when I got my pin the nurse said,”OH! This is your 8th pint! You get the pin!!!" So, yes, it SEEMS like you are taking more than a pint. Anyway, I don't need to see it. And even more? I don't, REALLY DO NOT, need to FEEL IT. Yes. FEEL the warmth of my own blood as it flows through the tube that is laid over my arm and dangles down to the bags it is connected to. Do. Not. Need. It is in no way comforting.
Recently I've discovered that I am "sensitive" to surgical tape. One time while donating I had a mini-meltdown almost pass-out because the tape over the needle in my arm started to itch. Now this had happened before, but usually right before the nurse declared me A FULL BAG. So I always just wrote it off as an at the end sort of body reaction. However, this one time in question, the nurse did not come to rescue me. Not for quite some time. When she finally did make her way over, "How are you doing?"

"My arm tingles. And itches. A LOT."

"Hmmmm" said her voice, "MEDIC!" said her face.

P.A.N.I.C. sets in.

I start to feel sick and light headed and things just started to escalate. My worst fear is PASSING OUT.

The sweat starts. Oh lord, here we go.

She tried to talk me down, and it helped some. But the SECOND she ripped that tape off, my body started to cool down, my focus came back, and all was right with the world. Except for the lively red 2.5" swollen rectangle on my arm.

"Well, it appears you are SENSITIVE to surgical tape." the nurse informed me, "From now on have them use this....." and for the life me, I can NEVER remember what that stretchy self sticking stuff the coaches used to warp my ankle in. So now, I just tell all medical personal that my "Allergies" include codeine, Sudafed and surgical tape. Which always gets a follow up of; “Latex?" "Nope."

There was a time where I didn't, couldn't donate. My iron was always too low. But I tried, MANY times. After 17 years I should be WAY beyond 1 gallon of blood. But you know what? I bet I'm a gallon further ahead than a lot of people out there.

If you can work out for 30 to 40 mins a day, you can give blood every 56 days. Because that’s about how long it takes, depending on the wait of course. You never know whose loved one you could help save.

PSA ended.

Where's the NUTS??!?!?! (in old lady "Where's the BEEF?!?! voice)

I just ate a Hershey's with Almonds bar. Size: 1.45 oz or 41g for my digital pals across the pond.


Now I thought I remembered the days of Hershey's with Almonds, when they first came out, and it was jammed packed with ALMONDS.

This one? This one had 8 almonds. 5 and 1/2 inches of chocolate contained 8 almonds. In a straight line, down the center of the bar. Roughly 2 almonds in each square, depending on how you break your bar apart.

Seriously Hershey's??? 8 ALMONDS??? I know things are tight for everyone right now, but I would think you'd want to REWARD someone for coughing up the cash to purchase said candy bar with more than 8 measly almonds. I mean what's next? A Take 5 will only have a pretzel in ONE of the two pieces? Or maybe caramel in one of the two pieces?(depending on what package you buy of course, some come with more than 2 pieces of candy in them). Are you going to take ALL the goodness out of our candy fun?? Smaller sizes. Fewer nuts and less caramel. WHAT IS THE CANDY WORLD COMING TO????



It's called good marketing and quality products. Look into it Hershey's!!!

The answer PLEASE!

This is an e-mail I received from a friend. Some of the questions I know the answers to, but mostly this is just silly fun.


If you know the "REAL" answer, please share in the comments!!!


EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? (different vitamins?)

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? (opening your mouth makes your eyes more taut)

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

 Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? (obviously, who is going to be the sucker to eat a mouse?)

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

I'm a Kid Again

I went to Target, the evil store of extra spending, and ended up leaving with, wait for it..............


EXTRA ITEMS!!!

I always get sucked in by the $1 SPOT! This time, oh the trip down childhood lane!!! Seriously, how could I possibly walk away from SILLY PUDDY?? The ORGINAL???? This was RIGHT NEXT TO SLINKY Jr!!!! Which is METAL, not the crappy plastic! SCORE and SCORE. I can barely wait to show my new items to F. Who I'm sure will say, "We never had that when I was a kid." proceeded of course by an eye roll at my joy followed by a lecture about responsible spending.

Can you really deny me $2 dollars of happiness?

I think not.

I also considered buying one of each for my siblings just so we could play like we used to. Without the fighting of course, since we'd all have our own!

Actually, I should tell my mom so she can pick them up as stocking stuffers!!!

That e-mail will write itself!!

Another 10 minutes, PLEASE mom?!?!?!

This morning as I shuffled about getting ready for work I actually paused in front of clothes hooks and longingly looked at my oversized t-shirt and pj pants. For a fleeting moment I pictured myself dressed in these lovingly comfortable clothes with my hair in a ponytail sitting at my desk doing my work. My body sighed at the prospect of no heels or knee highs or curling iron. Then I gave a heavy sigh as the picture faded away and Adulthood snuck back in.


More and more I understand those crazy kids and their propensity for wearing their pj pants out and about in public. My new favs are a pair of Nautica pj pants from Costco (my pants are light blue and sadly did not come with pictured studly lad in them, *la sigh*). So incredibly SOFT. Seriously, pj pants are this generation's version of the sweat suit, aren't they?  When I was in elementary school I had TWO sweat suits, one in aqua and one in purple that had a dancing Kermit the Frog on them. I was STY-LIN'.

Oh and my LL Bean WICKED Good slippers. Truly, sloth heaven.

Dress code be damned! We need a pj pant and slipper day at work!!!
Who's with me?!?!?!!?!?

Can You Tell Me How to Get, How to Get to Sesame Street????

OMG. I can't believe how talented and patient Bakerella is. Check out her post commemorating Sesame Street's 40 Year celebration!!!!


Here's to 40 more!!! Best kids show, ever!!!
I totally want some of these cake pops!!

I LOOOOOOVED me some Oscar, and Cookie Monster. But I’ll have to say my FAVORITE character is Slimey the Worm. Oscar’s only true friend.

He is a worm of few words.

Who is your favorite???

Sharing is not always Caring

Today I stopped into a co-worker's office to have some candy. I was hoping she wasn't in there because this co-worker is well known for "over sharing" or as the kids like to call it, T.M.I about many things that are of a personal nature.


I was not lucky today.

Me: "I came for some chocolate."

TMI_Co-worker: "OH! Help yourself!!!"

Me: "Thanks."

TMI_Co-worker: "How is DH today?" (it is well known throughout the office that I have been sick because you can hear me coughing where ever I go.)

Me: "Oh, I'm better, sporting a headache, but better."

TMI_Co-worker: "That's good. Unlike me who is on DAY 13 of my period!"

(oh god no, here we go..........)

Me: "OMG, that is not good."

TMI_Co-worker: "I know. And it's not a regular flow either. This is full on OPEN FAUCET GUSH for 13 days!"

Me: "EW." (I do feel bad for her, but seriously??? Did I need to know that detail???)

TMI_Co-worker: "Yeah, I don't have enough, YOU KNOW, SUPPLIES to keep up with it. It's exhausting me, I'm so tired."

Me: "Wow. Have you gone to the doctor?"

TMI_Co-worker: "Oh yeah, it's menopausal stuff. Of course my husband thinks I have cancer. So he's freaking out."

It is at this point in the conversation that I find the opportunity to change the subject. And I do, QUICKLY.

She apparently did not read the same article on MSN I did, about what NOT to share with your co-workers.

Most importantly points 2, 6 and 12.

I rewarded myself with a second piece of candy before I left. I needed something to take my mind off that visual picture she painted for me.

Early Bird Gets the Worm my ASS

I roll over and squint at the clock, 3:30 AM. Why does this always happen? WHY? I get up and go to the bathroom and crawl back into bed. 3:35AM. F rolls over.
“You’re awake aren’t you?” he queries.
“Yes.”
“Why are you awake?”
“Why are YOU?” I challenge back.
“I’m just waking up, I don’t know why.”
“I don’t know either” I sigh in response.
“How long have you been awake?”
“Not long.”
He gets up and stumbles to the bathroom.
He crawls back into bed. 3:40AM.
We both toss and turn trying to get comfortable. I get up and go to the bathroom AGAIN. I look at the clock as I stumble back into bed. 3:55AM.
“Go to sleep DH.”
“I hope so.”
I tell myself that if I’m not asleep by 5AM I’m getting up and going into work.
4:20AM F begins to snore.
5:00AM I’m up. In the shower by 5:15AM musing to myself that the morning show we listen to isn’t even on yet.
5:30AM Morning show starts as I’m listening to our shower radio (wedding present SCORE!) in the shower.
Stagger about in the dark trying to stay quiet so F can at least sleep til the alarm goes off. Realize “morning show” that says it starts at 5:30AM really only plays commercials and music for the first 30 minutes instead of talking. Realize that I will hear their show in its ENTIRETY for the first time ever.
Whimper. 5:55AM
6:00AM come into room and snooze the alarm, F didn’t hear it.
6:10AM go downstairs to discover F didn’t bother hanging up my work clothes, but hung up his. FUME at him through basement floor.
6:11AM Tell F he HAS to get up because I’m leaving.
“What? Why?”
“Because I’ve been up since 5.”
“I’ve been up since 3:30AM” he attempts to trump me.
“*sigh* Fine, I’ve been AWAKE since 3:30, but up and out of bed since 5AM, ok?”
“But, what are you going to do?”
“I’m going to work.”
“But why so early?”
“What would you have me do instead?? I’m awake.”
“But it’s SOOOO early!”
“Yes. I. Know. You need to get up.”
“What time is it EXACTLY.”
“6:13AM.”
Kiss F goodbye.
6:15AM Pull car out of garage. Garage door does annoying blinking-light-something-blocking-senor-blink.
6:16AM Swear. Put car in park. Get out, KICK leaves out of “line of sight” of senor eye. Push button. Light blinking again.
Swear again.
6:18AM Kick more leaves “out of line of sight”. Push button. Garage Door teases me by moving a few inches before retracting back up. Light blinks.
Try pushing and holding button to force door closed. Door moves! BUT NO!!! LIGHT BLINKING!!!
6:20AM SWEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Climb back in car, leave garage door open for F to deal with. Pull out of driveway.
6:30AM driving in the dark SUCKS!!!!
6:35AM Where am I??? Where are all the land marks?? It’s FREAKING DARK!!!
6:40AM Hungry. McDonald’s open????
6:50AM Try to remember how to unlock building. Really dark in here when all alone.
6:51AM Realize that it took 20mins less to get to work at ungodly hour, should maybe consider this a regular thing.
6:55AM Unload office dishwasher and reload office dishwasher. Make cup of tea. Like I never left home.
6:58AM Wonder when other people will begin to arrive at work.
7:05AM Jump as first co-worker arrives.
7:10AM Begin working again after morning “why are you here so early chat?” with said co-worker.
8:00AM WOW! An hour gone already??? Some people who say they get here at 7:30 SO DO NOT.
9:00AM!!!! DUDE!! TIME IS FLYING!!!!
9:20AM Breakfast!!!
10:35AM OMG. Are you serious??? It’s only 10:30??? I’ve only been here for 3 hours????
10:40AM Start this Blog entry to keep sanity.
11:17AM 45 MINS til LUNCH!!!!!!!
11:34AM omg, kill me now, it’s only been 15mins???
1:08PM Lunch is over already?? OMG. I have how much longer??????????
1:30PM????? REALLY?!?!!?!?!? FREAKING REALLY?!!?!?!?!?! AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH
2:18PM It hasn’t even be an HOUR YET???????????????
2:31PM FINALLY, an hour has gone by. Wishing I’d bought Chocolate during lunch.
4:36PM SWEET JESUS 20 mins to go!!!!!