Monday, June 19, 2006

Mistakes Have Been Made

So the BF discovered the Diary. And he keeps asking what I've written about him. Not good. I've been keeping a Diary since the ripe old literary age of nine. I'm putting my trust in him that he has not actually read said Diary, even though it was left out in the open. Of course said Diary is now missing........
Upon inquiries about past Diaries I hauled them out, about 12 in all, so that he might discover the "juicy stuff" about my life before he came along. I figured that reading items of my life B.B. (before bf) wouldn't harm anything. Since I barely have enough juice in my life time to flesh out a small mandarin orange. Ah, how wrong I was. He cracked open the first Diary and "Love Letters" began falling out. Do you feel the room beginning to spin?

Oh, but wait, grab a wall, it gets better. There was an actual stack of love letters and cards from the most recent Ex stacked neatly between the Diaries, and they screamed for his attention:
"What are these?"
"Oh, wow, I'd forgotten about those." (holy shit, holy shit hid them! This could be trouble)
"Who are they from?" as he flips over the envelope examining the word play concerning my given name.
"Those are from Ex. He liked to write me. " (give them back! Stop reading!!! Thank the gods I refrained from wrapping them with pink ribbon and a bow.) I gather them up and toss them across the bed.
"Here, this Diary is from my college years, that should have some juice."(Deflect! Distract! Look at the shiny gold leaf pages!!!!)

"Why are you keeping something from someone you claim to dislike so much??"

(Insert Bridget Jones' : FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK subtitle here)

"I forgot they were there, I should burn them." ( please don't ask the light the match.)
"Do I need to write you love letters too?"
"If you want to, that's up to you. He liked to write while he was away working at camp." (Let it go, please please please)
I shove them farther away and cozy up with BF and the shiny Diary.... "Let's see what kinda juice we have here."

He seemed to be deterred, for the moment. How do you explain to BF that ExBF was the first man who not only Told you he Loved you but also put it in Writing? That's something I just can't seem to let go, am I wrong here? Am I tempting fate by keeping proof that someone outside my bloodline loved me at one time?

So let's reflect on the mistakes: 1) Left Diary out in the open for BF to discover.
2) In order to distract BF from current Diary containing info about him, old Diaries are unearthed, along with Love Letters from Ex.
3) Telling BF that said Love Letters are from the Ex.

What we shall NOT do is tell BF about Blog. No No No NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

No comments: