Here have been a few of mine to F in last few months:
- If I ever get that fat, smack me. But you know, do it nice a way, don't mean be about it. Said after seeing a trio of young girls who were really extremely over weight. I'm no lightweight myself, but even I was disgusted.
- If I ever wear an outfit that is too young/old/tight, smack me. Uttered during Church about another member whose dress was so tight, the buttons were straining to stay on. Also about the same member a week later who was wearing a bare backed halter top to Service. She's really too old for that and it's completely inappropriate for Service.
- If I ever go grocery shopping dressed like her, smack me. Look at her, those heels are so high she can't even push her cart. Sneered about a woman who was shopping at Costco with her young impressionable daughter wearing a very low cut, snug tight shirt with an extremely good push-up bra, tight skinny fit jeans and strappy gold heels. And I know I wasn't the only woman making comments or staring either. That poor daughter, what image issues she'll have.
Or how about If YOU ever? I've bet you've all played this one too:
- If YOU ever cheat on me, I'll make you hurt in ways you never thought possible. I never said I wasn't a little psycho.
- If YOU ever hit me, you'll be someone else's bitch(in prison). Told to F while relaying my mom's advice about how she threatened my father that she'd leave him, with 3 little kids, if he ever laid a hand on her. Not to say he was violent. They psycho had to come from somewhere. (sorry mom.)
Anyone else? What have you said: "If I/You ever......smack me"?