How Stupid ARE You?

People in this world are overtly stupid. People in this world lack basic, common sense, or, in the words of my mother, "You don't use the good sense God gave ya." And yes, it was directed at me, but I've since stood in the "Common Sense" line and had my card re-stamped. So it is with my stamp that I make the list of just how stupid people are.

1. During an unprecedented heat wave in my area recently, the kind where they tell you on the News to drink tons of water and then tell you the tally of those that are deceased because of said heat wave, You, oh stupid one, are out Jogging, in a Sweatshirt.
2. We are currently headed towards a "Gas Crisis", which means there are long lines at the Stations whom have gas 5cents cheaper then everyone else. You, oh stupid one, pull into line in such away that you trap those of us already at the pump, at the pump. Hence preventing you and 4 other people from getting gas and creating a massive tie-up.
3. I have ordered pizza for everyone for lunch, I've sent out the e-mail stating that I am ordering pizza for everyone for lunch, I have walked the office announcing that the pizza I ordered for everyone for lunch has now arrived. You, oh stupid one, come and tell me that the pizza has arrived.
4. I have created a list comprising over 2,000 names of "important" people. You, oh stupid one, having looked at the list of 2,000 plus names, demand to know why 2 random people are missing, and I should know this off the top of my head.
5. You are currently entrenched in a huge project with an ever looming deadline. You snap at people who ask for your help, when it's your job to help, saying you haven't the time to help. You constantly complain that you have too much to do and not enough time to do it. You can be spotted throughout the workday leaning in doorways, chatting gaily. You purposely work part-time, instead of full-time. You, oh stupid one, take an entire week off, mid-deadline.