Monday, June 06, 2011

Time Line Spiral

Easter Weekend

F leaves to go Back East to visit the Outlaws for Easter. I am left home alone to fend for myself. Our very expensive Anderson Screen door has been trouble since day one. The door closer hydraulic thingie comes unscrewed and the door commences to slamming shut. I find the screws and reattach it, fixing the issue. It took me maybe 15 minutes.

- - - - A WEEK LATER- - - - -

The door closer hydraulic thingie comes unscrewed AGAIN. F swears and curses the name of Very Expensive Anderson Screen Door Company. I inform him of my fixing it while he was gone. He blinks at me. The door closer hydraulic thingie remains hanging from the door for at least a week. I ask when he’s going to fix when it stabs me in the foot. He removes it and places the door closer hydraulic thingie on the couch where it remains for a few weeks. I complain of the placement and he moves it to the kitchen shelving unit. More days, weeks pass and I am cleaning and tell F that he needs to fix the door closer hydraulic thingie. He blinks at me. I sigh heavily.
“Do you know where the mount for it is? I can’t find it.” I blink at him confused while my brain processes his question. I turn in a semi-circle looking for it because I KNEW I had seen it somewhere. And then my eyes fall upon it, attached to the door. “It’s still attached to the door.” F blinks at me. “It is?”  (we use this door EVERYDAY to exit and enter our home)


- - - MORE TIME PASSES - - -

Memorial Day

I suit up and attempt to mow the lawn. The mower won’t start. Deciding it was already hot and way too humid anyway, I would skip the mowing and call Mom to come over and hangout for the day. Mom arrives on the scene and informs me that the spark plug on said mower just needs to be changed. I agree, but go with the notion that fixing that is F’s job and we sit down and commence gossiping. A few hours later F arrives home. I inform him of the situation and Mom once again pipes up and tells him he needs to change the spark plug. He fiddles with it, and then puts it away for another day. He calls buddy to ask him if his brother in law still fixes mowers.

Now mind you, it has been RAINING pretty much NON STOP here in the Midwest for the past month. The grass is crazy thick and desperately needs to be mowed. We look like the white trash neighbors because you know, we WORK during the day and so when it would rain EVERY FREAKING night as I started to come home, I was unable to mow like my neighbors did during the day in the non-rain window. So the mowing needs to get done ASAP before the rain comes again.

May 31st

I tell F he needs either get our mower fixed or ask a neighbor to borrow theirs. He blinks at me.

The evening of June 2nd I arrive home late. F GLEEFULLY informs me that he FIXED the mower!!!!!

“Really? That is great.”

“Yes, I rode my bike up to the mower place (where I told him to take it to get serviced in MARCH to get ready for the mowing season.Obvs, he didn't.) and bought a spark plug. And then I used some tools ( he named the sizes of wrenches and what-not) and popped the old one out, put in the new and it fired right up!!!!”

The PRIDE in his voice, like he had replaced his own kidney with a plastic spork or something.

“The spark plug eh?”


“The spark plug mom and I both told you was the issue?”

“I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF. It had nothing to do with you.”


An Hour Later…………

“Did you notice what ELSE I fixed??” F asks excitedly.

“You mean the screen door?”

“YES YES!! I had to put new bolts in it because the crap screws were stripped. So you better not break it again.”

*Eyebrow raise from me* “Emmm. And here I was getting used to closing it by hand.”


The point of this post? My husband takes FOREVER to fix things that are simple to fix, that I have either fixed before or have told him how to fix and then he EXPECTS extremely high praise for something that really is not that big of a deal. Is my husband the only one who does this? Is he the only one who wants praise for doing something he is supposed to do anyway? I mean, you know, I NEVER rush home and tell him, “F! F! I PAID THE BILLS!!! How AWESOME am I?!!?!?!? Right!? RIGHT!?”



Tracy said...

Next time you pay the bills or run an errand, come home all excited & proud of yourself and then give him a hard time for not heaping tons of praise on you for doing it.

My husband is like that when fixing things, then when he decides it is time to fix it I have to drop everything & help, run to the hardware store etc - like I have nothing better to do.

DevilsHeaven said...

OMG Tracy F does the SAME THING!!! When he wants something done it must be done NOW, THIS VERY SECOND. When I ask him to do something I'm always told, "I'll do it." Which means he won't until I blow my lid about it. Or he says, "WE need to do XYZ." And I say, uh no, YOU need to do that because YOU were suppose to do it to begin with!!!

Unknown said...

Oh, do I feel your pain! My husband cleaned up the garage last night, so I could get my car back into it. (We had flood a couple of weeks ago, and still had boxes here and there.) You'd have thought he'd parted the Red Sea! Of course he was disappointed when I didn't run out to see how good it looked...that's because I was busy making dinner, finishing up laundry, getting the trash cans out front for pick up....and had just gotten home from walking our
(4) Golden Retrievers...

DevilsHeaven said...

The GARAGE!!! Oh, he has already started saying "WE need to clean the garage."
I put away the stuff I use from the garage. It is HIS CRAP that is all over the place and yet I have to help clean it up.
Last year? I sat in a lawn chair and watched, I refused to help. And then! THEN after he cleans it and is all proud, he tells me I'd better not mess it up.
You know, like he does EVERY FREAKING TIME I clean any room/surface in the house.