You're Gonna WhAAAAAAT?????

I was one of several women BF was dating before we decided we wanted to be exclusive. Actually, I told BF no nookie unless he was dating just me, and amazingly he agreed. Anyway, one of the women he saw briefly happens to be an accountant. Last year, and again this year, he paid her to do his taxes. I wasn't too keen on it, but since he was completely up front about it, I didn't fuss. However, this year he informs me that she is going under the knife and he offered to go visit her. AT. Her. HOUSE. while she's recovering. That, I am so NOT keen on. He thinks I'm being crazy, telling me it's a "cultural thing". That if someone you know is ill, you go visit them. I tried to rein in my irrational female while I tried to form a logical argument to make him see my point. As my shrink cousin enlightened me a few weeks ago, you have to think like a man in order to communicate with them, which means being "logical" as opposed to "emotional", and in BF's case I have to be not only logical but have point by point arguments to back-up my logic because he's an engineer. Now, I never thought myself to be overtly emotional when came to making decisions and arguments, but having a full time BF, I'm more a female than I ever imagined. Not that there's anything wrong with that. So I formed my argument from the stand point that if his dentist went under the knife, would he then visit that person at home? Because after all, you are paying them for a service at least twice a year as opposed to once a year such as you do a tax accountant. The answer was of course No. So hence, I concluded, if you are claiming to have the same relationship with this woman (as a paid employee) as you do with your dentist, then it stands to reason that you would in fact NOT go visit her.

He accused me of playing the guilt card.

I countered with it actually being the logic card.

He's not visiting her, at least to my knowledge.

COPS.......Coming to your Street

BF thinks I live in a bad neighborhood. He thinks this to the point that, " I don't feel comfortable leaving you here alone." The house was empty for a year before I moved in. The garage side door was left unlocked where the very nice mower was stored. The Fridge, Stove and Microwave are all visible from the kitchen window and from the side door. And yet, nothing was taken. Granted, I live a block from the not so nice neighborhood, but in the year I've lived there, I've never had a problem. There are several elderly couples living in my neighborhood as well. The woman I bought the house from was a single woman just like me, and she said she loved it. It kind of irritates me because he makes me doubt my safety and then I can't sleep at night which only succeeds in making his life miserable because I'm miserable. It's not the first neighborhood I chose, but it's my hood damn it, and I like it. It's quiet, despite the white trash neighbors. The kids are always running about in the summer. People are out walking. Do they do that in bad hoods? I think not. But I can't seem to convince him that I'm ok. I never would've moved into a hood I left wasn't safe. It's a blue collar hood and I'm ok with that because I'm blue collar. I feel like his hood is kind of snobby. I don't feel comfortable there.
The battle will continue until, well until I move into his house. Which at this point, as he told me last weekend is, ".....[o]nly a suggestion."

Can You Hear Me Now?

The couple whose wedding BF and I attended are finding themselves separated...... by distance. Shortly after the wedding, mere days actually, the groom left for the mid-west. He got called-up to serve our country in the war torn Middle East. He is currently in boot camp. So the bride is alone, save for a roommate who has a wandering eye. Her friends and family do not live in the area. Needless to say, she's quite lonely. I certainly feel for her, I myself do not know what I would do placed in the same situation. Fear would become my shadow. This aside, I do not feel as though we are friends. I spent time in her home, I attended her wedding, this however does not put us in a position to spend hours on the phone chatting like old pals. This is however exactly what BF feels I should be doing. I don't spend hours chatting with my own friends let alone the wife of BF's friend. I feel mean about it, yes, however I feel somewhat put upon being forced to be her friend. There are 2 of her bride's maids that live in the same town. But apparently they aren't spending an overert amount of time with her either. I have offered to e-mail her, and IM with her throughout the day. Neither of which she's taken me up on. I have no idea how to handle this with BF. He keeps telling me she wants a woman to talk "woman talk" with. I don't do woman talk. I have no idea what to say to her. We have limited "together" experiences for me to draw from. A total of 2 weeks in all of "together time" in the last year. That's not much conversation foder. It's a hard situation, having to measure every word and sentence for fear of reminding her that her husband may not come back next year. Or that she's living alone. When I mentioned to BF that I don't make him talk to the husbands of my friends, he looked at me like I was completely crazy for even suggesting such a thing.

And yet, the parrell still completely escaped him.