Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Say it ain't so......

So the other day while laying in bed taking a nap, BF snuggles up to me and says,

"I miss this. Us being together. I've felt like we've been so distant with each other the last few weeks."
My heart skipped a beat. Distant? First off, where does my BF get off using Female Speak? When have you EVER heard a Male say, without prompting from Dr. Ruth, that the woman in his life has been Distant??? Secondly, how did I, a woman who feels Sheryl Crow's song "Strong Enough" and Meredith Brooks' "Bitch" were written specifically about her, find a man who is actually, SENSITIVE??

"Distant? We've been together everyday." I said while racking my brain to see if I had been a horrid bitch without realizing it.
"I know, but it just seems like things have been, different. "
Dear lord, he was right, my heart sank. I HAD been feeling the need to pull away from him, sometimes he can be a tad suffocating. And here he was, telling me that he noticed and all I could do was make stupid Male comments.

"Really? You think so? We've been really busy."
"I know." He mumbled unconvinced.
I could tell by the tone of his voice that he knew I was deflecting the real issue. Me, putting distance between us, knowingly.

"You still love me, right?" he asked quietly.

OH! I've become the man in the relationship! That is so wrong, so very wrong. And a cold emotionally stunted man at that.
I practically dislocated a vertebrate because I tried to turn over too fast, I didn't quite make it since he was spooning me.

"OF COURSE I DO! What in the world made you ask that?"

"I was just checking." came the child like reply.

I don't deserve this man, I honestly don't think I do.

My crazy is going to break his sweet heart.

1 comment:

darling said...

Sometimes fleetingly.. roles change. It gives you another perspective on things.

Hope you have a beautiful day.