Friday, November 02, 2007

Losing My Mind

I’m losing my mind people. I have one co-worker who keeps telling me that ever since F came into my life, I’ve not been the same DH. Ever since he’s asked me to marry him, I’ve been stressed out. Most times I don’t even realize it. But sometimes it’s blatantly clear. Forgetting that we are getting married. Being unable to put together a simple little announcement e-mail. Zoning out of conversations at almost every turn. Forgetting to do simple steps in my job. Burning dinner. The list goes on, probably on to stuff that I don’t even realize. And when I feel the stress, I feel it full on. I feel dazed and confused. Tired. Drained. I just don’t know how to combat it. More sleep? I try. Eating better? Well, not so much, because I am a stress eater. Most days I just want to curl up with F and sleep the world away.
That’s not going to happen anytime soon. Especially with the trip back East to contend with soon. How can I sleep knowing his mother is in the kitchen, making us breakfast? Talking about me in the Homeland language? His father’s dislike of me speaking volumes, while he actually says nothing to me, at all. How can I not be stressed? I’m taking an extra day off to recover from it all. I need a drink just thinking about it.

On a brighter note my Eldest sister and her husband have finally gotten it through their heads that F and I are trying to do the wedding on a tight budget. They offered to pay for the cake.
I’m speechless.
But still stressed out.

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