Bringing the Crazy

The night BF became F I laid awake for hours worrying about his family, my family, his religion, my religion, his house, my house, how the "kids" are going to be raised, if I was making a mistake and how in hell we are were going to pay for the 100+ people, on my side, ALONE. Since then I've been told by my friends that I was crazy, that I was "rushing" the engagement, that I was going to drive him nuts with all my wedding planning stuff(um,yeah, done.) and that I needed to ENJOY planning the wedding, that I need to RELAX and have FUN. This really annoyed the hell out of me, in fact, it still does. I have heard MANY horror stories about how the trials of getting a hall to match dates with your church. So the next day I became a Internet Google-ing fool. It truly amazes me how many places, in this day and age, do not advertise on the Web. Or the ones that are so "posh" they can't possibly be bothered with posting a price list. For the average American bride (ie blue collar folk) a set menu makes life so much easier. I can have chicken, fish or beef and one pasta. OK, easy enough. Just give me a price! Quit telling me that I need to call you for further information, because prices are based on what you choose from our vast gourmet selection. UGH! And seriously, I know this is a business, and they are in it to make money, but why can't they buy nice colored chairs that don't require a "chair cover"? I saw one place, ONE, that had nice pleather chairs in a simple cream color. See? it's that simple. Instead of assuming I have an extra $2.50 a chair ($246 based on 120 guests) to pay another vendor, to correct your color coordinating mistake. When I complained to my mother about how much it was going to cost she whips out the old, "If you can't afford to get married, maybe you shouldn't be getting married then." Um, pardon? I own a house, he owns a house, I think we can afford the what? $100 bucks for a license? which is REALLY ALL YOU NEED TO BE MARRIED. It's the party that costs the buckage. Not the actual marrying part. I explained to her that in ye olden days when both bride and groom were just then moving out of their parent's house and setting up a house together there was a larger cost associated with getting married. However, nowadays, that's not the case. We are combining things, which in the long run will be a money savings move.


I have to admit, once we actually set a date and got the church booked, I've relaxed just a tad. Then I logged onto The Knot and saw the long long list of things yet to be done, and the count down of days, and I kinda freaked again. I have plenty of time, it's just getting everything organized. Deciding what we want for what thing. I am no Monica Ghelleger with her massive color coordinated-cross referenced guide to her wedding that she's been putting together since she could use scissors. I've never imagined my flowers, or my cake or my colors or the bride's maid dresses. And I think, well, actually, I am pretty sure that, this is where my anxiety comes in, because I have no idea where to start with any of those things. And not knowing about any of these things, kinda makes me feel like I'm lacking as a female. I mean, I have no clue about what flowers are what. I can tell you what a rose is, and a dandelion, and that's pretty much it. As for my "colors", I know what color I'd like the bride's maids dresses to be(something deep jewel toned), but beyond that, why do I need "colors"???? Do you have any idea how many cake toppers there are out there???? And "favors"? Seriously? I'm feeding and boozing you up, do I need to supply you with a "favor" as well?????


So yes, this process is suppose to be fun, and exciting. But right now, I'm just not feeling the giddiness of a 22yr old spending her parent's money.

Maybe that's because I'm 33 and spending my own money.