You're Right. What Could I Possibly Know?

So I just had a co-worker try to convince me that my out-laws, "Can't be THAT bad. They CAN'T BE THAT BAD." She smiled and slowly shook her head at me like I was a silly little child who was upset that the sun was going down.
And that really made me angry. She knows many of the tales. Has crinkled her face in disbelief. And yet here she was, telling me I couldn't possibly be right.
I often do think that maybe I am being overly sensitive. Constantly on guard with them. That I should give them more slack. And then things happen or are said and I'm right back to where I started. Shaking my head and kicking myself for being so naive. Wondering why everyone keeps telling me that's just how it is and I should just deal with it.

So I come here, and I reread what I've written about the visits.  Relive the moments, the statements, the questions and some times I feel vindicated and other times I feel doubt.
Like when MIL heard of my plan to wait until Little Man was 6 months old to start feeding him solids, she wagged her finger at me via Skype and said, " You listen to ME honey, if you don't feed him food now, he won't like anything later!"
Um, what? Doesn't one of the nephews you pretty much raised only eat chicken nuggets? And he's 8? Soooooooo, what again??
Or how she gave me a necklace and out right lied about "having one made for you from The Homeland because you said you liked mine."
Oh, you read that and think how sweet! why is she complaining? I can't stand being lied to, especially when you give me a broken piece of jewelry as a gift and tell me it is new, especially made for me. To me that is an insult to my intelligence. And this is when I question myself. Just let it go! I say to myself. She is TRYING. But then my other side says, Is it really trying if it is lies and broken items?
I drive myself crazy with the back and forth!

 The constant battle between F and I over his family is harmful. Here it is almost 4 months out and I'm already stressing about heading Back East for Christmas. No matter what we do, someone is going to be miserable. I of course prefer it not be us.
How do you make yourself not care? How do you make yourself the person who is always seeing the bright side of things? How do I become Zen? How I ask you,  HOW?

I Am Not Sucking On Sugar Cubes

So, I know in the last post I said I was going to try and avoid making this an ALL BABY ALL THE TIME type Blog. I realize however that being pregnant is currently apart of my daily life, and therefore will need discussing. So forgive me if my snark has temporarily left the building. Right now I am just irritated, and I need to vent.
 Way back in the very beginning of my pregnancy they decided because of my age and my weight that I would get to be lucky and be tested for Gestational Diabetes way before normal testing would take place. I'm talking week 8 instead of week like 30. And guess what people? I FAILED.  Monitoring started and diet change started and my life with pasta ended as I know it because no matter how hard I tried I just could not stay within the levels they wanted me to.  I cried, no, let me be honest, I LOST MY SHIT and BALLED HYSTERICALLY when the nutritionist informed me that the Dr would most likely put me on insulin. I could barely speak when I called F. He promptly sent me home. I promptly went to my mother's and cried some more. My boss, I'm sure, thought someone had died because I DO NOT CRY and again, I was crying to the point that I could not speak properly. She agreed that I needed to go home. Why did this news hit me so hard?  So many things. So. Many. Things. And this was just the one thing I was really hoping to avoid. I'd had enough with the needles and drugs getting Little Man that I really thought I was all done with it. And here this not very motherly older lady was telling me that I had a good SIX MORE MONTHS of needles and poking myself.  Straw, meet the Camel's back.
I inform them weekly of my glucose levels which I take 4 times a day.  And again, no matter how hard I tried, I still was not getting the levels where they needed to be.  Each week my dose would increase. I've had a few weeks here and there when I would be allowed to maintain the same dose. I cannot express to you the joy this would bring me.  Today however, I was, I felt, scolded. I felt the nurse was "What is your problem? Why can't you get this under control?" type attitude as she sucked on her soft drink. I could hear the straw squeaking  and the ice rattling through the phone. I get this nurse on occasion, and I DO NOT LIKE HER.  "Well I just don't know, Did you eat a snack before bed? You know, Did you take this at a different time of day because you SLEPT IN?"
Yes, I eat my snack before bed. But she never actually waits for me to answer these questions.  And NO I did not sleep in. 5 out of those 7 days I WORK, so sleeping in is not possible. Plus, I don't know, I'm PREGNANT and everyone knows pregnant women get up to pee A LOT. My body is so condition to wake to pee it is chart-able. And if I did manage to attempt to sleep in Puppy would not be havin it! She needs to pee too. She also questions the manner in which I report my levels. The App I have on my phone lists the dates from most recent to which ever previous date you tell it. And she complains EVERY SINGLE TIME that she read it wrong because of how I reported it.  Seriously? How about you, I don't know ACTUALLY READ what is written? This is MEDICALLY important information, maybe SCANNING it isn't the right way to do it? Ya' Know?
I am stressed out enough as it is about the whole Gestational Diabetes thing, I don't need your judgement on top of it. I've been considering asking my Dr's office to please not have her call me back, but I really don't know if it is worth it.
Speaking of stressing out, did I tell you, my digital friends, that Mrs Mannerless cornered me in my office and questioned me about my sugar test? Yes, she did. Then she proceeded to tell me, as she whipped out her phone to check dates, that, "Oh, they'll start talking to you about being induced in October."
Oh? I was unaware that you had a medical degree.
"Did I tell you the EXTREMELY funny story about the dream I had before I went in to labor?"
Please dear Lord, NO.
 I'll save you from the details, but it wasn't really all that funny, it was actually, disturbing. As was  her LABOR STORY. I need to bleach my brain just thinking about it.
"If you want to hear a good labor story come talk to me!!!  Don't go to the other two ladies [who have birth around the same time], they have HORROR stories! Come see me!"
Luckily she only gave me an overview of her labor and delivery story. I continue to try and avoid her. At least once a week one of my co-workers tells me "She is CRAZY!"
Yes, I know, in more detail then I think you'd like to know.

Sugar levels, disagreement on names, which freaking car seat out of A MILLION we should choose, can I handle sewing curtains for the nursery, which crib will I finally decide on, will the nursery be ready in, all of the out-laws possibly coming to visit while I am in my ninth month, who will watch said baby once he arrives; these are just a FEW of the things on my mind.
And I can't even indulge in a Dunkin Donuts Vanilla Chi Latte to give me a small moment of peace.
How is that fair?

Let the TMI Begin

You, my digital friends have been introduced to Mrs Mannerless. Mrs. Mannerless has often cornered her pregnancy partner and regaled her with all manner of stories and updates, much to her PP's displeasure. Let us call Mrs. Mannerless' pregnancy partner Rustie. (yes Rustie is a woman, a very nice one at that. Trust me on this.) Mrs. Mannerless and Rustie had their babies not even a week apart and therefore were on maternity leave at the same time. When they got back Rustie went to Mrs Mannerless' cube to inquiry about her and the baby.  Since Mrs. Mannerless sits near me I over heard the entire thing.
Rustie: "Hey, how are you?"
Mrs. Mannerless: "I'm fine. If you came here just to chat I really have A LOT of work to do and DO NOT have time to talk."
*stunned silence*
Rustie: "oh, well, I just thought I'd see how things went with your delivery. And how things are now.............."
Mrs. Mannerless: "Everything went well.....blah blah blah...whatever else she said."
RUDE!!!!!!!!! Completely and utterly rude! Yes, I will give her that she had a lot of work to do, maybe. But to be so completely and utterly rude is just, amazing.
After this little exchange Mrs Mannerless apparently changed her tune and has since decided that Rustie is her new bestie and shares EVERYTHING with her. She seem to also rather enjoy degrading Rustie's mothering skills.
The following was relayed to me via text directly from Rustie:
"Today's direct quote: "I know you don't make his own baby food but I'm super mom."
Rustie was of course completely floored by the matter of fact manner in which this was stated. She however cannot bring herself to tell Mrs Mannerless off because she's just not that kind of person.

It is because of things like this that I have been DREADING the time when  Mrs Mannerless brought her sage advice to me.
I didn't have to wait long and I was greatly validated where my sense of dread lay.

Mrs Mannerless plants herself in my cube doorway and inquires and to my plans concerning breast feeding. Mind you Mrs Mannerless is an avid breast feeder and DEMANDED time off during the day in order to leave work to go feed her child at daycare AND then a place to pump throughout the day. Our small office doesn't not employ enough people to fall under the law on supplying a Lactation Station, but they accommodated her. It has recently become common knowledge that she would extend her time in there by watching TV online on the computer in the set aside office. The computer was removed to prevent this time stealing task, which she circumvented by taking along her iPad.
That aside, let me get back to my main story.  I answered her inquiry truthfully and told her I was hoping to breastfeed. And that my digital friends is where I made my mistake. Mrs. Mannerless launches into her HORROR STORY of the lactation nurses at the local hospital. Let me just say here, that it was truly horrible and I would have been swearing bloody murder if I had been treated in such a manner, but what I didn't need, now or ever is her visual help aid. 
She told how her doula informed many of the people on the hospital staff that the baby's tongue was misshapen and therefore would  have problems latching on during breast feeding. Apparently they all choose to tune out said information when trying to help Mrs Mannerless feed her baby. When she would ask for help or complain to the lactation nurses they were rude, abrupt and completely unhelpful.  She told me that on more than one occasion they would grab her breast and shove it into the baby's mouth saying THERE, he's feeding, you just need to try harder!

Bitches! I cannot imagine being treated in such a manner!!! I still feel for her. Despite the fact that upon telling me this portion of the story she grabbed said breast to give me a visual aid to go along with her story.
Let me repeat. As she stood half in my cube and half in the hallway, SHE GRABBED HER BOOB and recreated the shoving and pinching motions for my better understanding.
Um, yeah.  I did not need to see that, let alone to help me better visual it happening while her breast was naked. I do however thank her for the warning, because no one man handles the girls, NO ONE.
Add to that Crazy Co-Worker telling me how I shouldn't be wearing my shoes and how said shoes won't fit me through the summer, and I can see why women used to leave the work force until after they give birth.

BIG REVEAL

F and I hosted a party at the very beginning of my 13th week to semi-announce this little darling. Most people completely and utterly missed the cues, which was ok, because to see the dawning of understanding on their faces once it was pointed out was quite priceless.  Later that evening I posted on Face Book that we are expecting. I kept it short and sweet, once sentence, where as F wanted a flipping novel about how we are "expecting our first child." I nixed that for my posting, but kindly told him if he would like to put that type of announcement on his page he of course was more than welcome to do so. He declined.

Their are a few of my co-workers with whom I am "friends" on FB who did not come to our little party. They were all a twitter with the news and in hushed tones grouped together to discuss how I had so expertly pulled the proverbial wool over everyone's eyes. It has been quietly making its way around the office. Some people I have gone up to and personally told; others, ie Mrs Nosey,  and Mrs. Mannerless have been purposely left out. If someone else tells them, then fine, but they shall not hear it directly from my lips. Neither of them have approached me up to this point, and I am quite fine with it. Our big office meeting is happening this week and Boss has asked if she can announce it. I gave her the go ahead because I was quite happy with keeping it low key and allowing it to make its way around the grape vine on its own, but am also fine with something "official" being said, and I know she won't make a big show of it. Or maybe she will. I don't know. I hope not. Anyway, I will be quite delighted to see the reaction of those not in the know.
I am not, however looking forward to Mrs. Mannerless chatting me up about pregnancy. I cannot ever forgive nor forget her complete and utter selfishness concerning her office baby shower.  I ALSO have a pregnancy buddy in the office and she is quite a delight and I would be most happy to share the spot light with her. We are due almost two months apart, so I don't know if that will happen or not, but I am fine if it does!!

Check THESE Out!!

Crazy Co-Worker has been on a shopping spree and likes to show and discuss with me her new outfits. I am more than happy to talk clothing with people. Hit me up anytime!
However, when you corner me in the bathroom and force me into this conversation, well, I'm not so inclined to chat with you.

"You know DH, these new clothes of mine are great. I even got new underwear."
"Really?"
"Yep. I like the silky ones, you know? And these new ones, you can wear instead of a slip because they are made out of slip material and don't show your panties lines. Have  you heard of them?"
"No?"
"We I really like how they feel. And around the leg they have these ridges, to keep them down."
"Yes, made of rubber, right?"
"YES! Like see these leopard print ones *pulls down her waist band about 4 inches to expose said silky leopard print* Are real nice, feel them."
I of course hesitate. Feeling someone else's underwear while they are wearing it? Odd.

"Go, on."
I gingerly touch said leopard print silky underwear on CCW's exposed hip.

"Right?? Nice!!"

"Yes, very." (please don't let anyone walk in right now!)
"But you see when I wear them with regular stockings they fall down! So I spend all my time hitchin and yankin them back up."

I giggle as she makes the motions in the bathroom mirror of hitchin and yankin up her nylons. I mean really, how could I not relate to that?

"But when I wear these kind of stockings, *exposes her leg to show me tights* They work perfectly!"

"That makes sense."  I say as we both head towards the door. "Just know CCW, that I won't being feeling any new bras you may have gotten."

"*LOL* oh DH, you're the ONLY one I've told about my panties!"


Lucky me.

Baby Bump Frump

Hark back my dear digital readers to a time when Mrs. Nosey was the main thorn in my side. This post, little did I know at the time, would be the first time you’d meet Mrs. Mannerless full on.  Mrs. Mannerless was one of Mrs. Nosey’s victims in this post.   Mrs. Mannerless is the complete opposite from Mrs. Manners, let me tell you.  When Mrs. Mannerless started about a year ago she was one of the replacements for Crocs lady and Ms Snippy. At first we rejoiced that Crocs lady and Ms Snippy were gone! YAY!!! HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!!! No more rudeness!!! No more complaining about stupid shit! Finally, the little things we do for others would be appreciated.

Um, yeah, NO. The first time I had any interaction with Mrs. Mannerless, was shortly after she started.  You would think that this would be the time to impress people right? First impressions and all? I should have known then. SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. I was expressing my displeasure to Mrs. Mannerless about a co-worker who had different standards for their own work related time lines than what they had for other people’s work related time lines.  Mrs. Mannerless proceeds to tell me that at her OLD job people would always make excuses for why their work wasn’t done. At this point in the conversation we were in complete agreement. She then continues to tell me how annoyed she would get that people complained about her and her lack of friendliness.

“They didn’t like me much over there.  They complained that I wasn’t nice enough to other people. I guess they wanted me to say ‘Hi how was your weekend? Can I have that report today?’ Instead of just telling them, 'I need the report!'  I don’t come to work to make friends; I come to work to WORK!!”

My mouth fell open, I can tell you that. I have very little interaction with Mrs. Mannerless, but I can tell you, she thinks she is never wrong, even though clearly she is. I had to turn a situation over to our Boss because Mrs. Mannerless refused, FLAT OUT REFUSED that the mistake was on her end. “I don’t know what to tell you, my stuff isn’t wrong.”  I don’t think I need to say, that, um, yeah, it was.

Anyway, Mrs. Mannerless and the other pregnant lady were both having issues with their pregnancies, and were due within days of each other. So we needed to have their baby showers ASAP. And because they were so close with their due dates, we decided it would be best to have a joint baby shower. We consulted both parties as to when would be a good time to throw this little shin-dig and the first lady responded with a short little e-mail giving us the dates available. Mrs. Mannerless gave us a detailed listing of why certain days would not work, or might work, but really she just wasn’t sure since she was SO BUSY and could deliver at any moment!  And oh, BTW, don’t buy me any 0-9 month clothing, because I received PLENTLY of those from my OTHER SHOWER. And would really like to have stuff from my Babies-R-Us* registry.

Well, Yes. Why thank you for being completely thorough.

We took time to go buy decorations for the shower, ordered a cake, bought food, even had games, the whole 9. I missed the actual shower because I had to leave to get insurance for my house.  Different story, I might tell you about it. Anyway, Mrs. Mannerless continued with her shower related shenagains  by complaining that her name was on the cake in PINK, and didn’t we know she was having a BOY? We were unaware what the other lady was having so we had the cake done in pink and blue. How were we to know that by not specifying the COLOR of the FROSTING on a CAKE, we would be offending someone?  We collected money for both ladies to purchase gift cards so that they may buy what they wanted/needed from their registry at Babies-R-Us*. I’m sure you will be completely shocked by the fact that Mrs. Mannerless garnered less monetarily than did the other lady. Mrs. Mannerless felt that we took the easy way out by getting said gift cards. She announced this feeling in front of 2 of her bosses and the other pregnant lady. During the party. Our Big Boss got up and left she was so disgusted by it. Needless to say those of us who planned said shower were greatly incensed upon hearing these complaints. I threatened to go take the lame gift card back from her and tell her that she gets nothing! How about nothing you ungrateful bitch!?!?!

So imagine, if you will our out and out rage and disgust upon further learning that Mrs. Mannerless was quite unhappy with having to share her baby shower with someone else.  An office mate with whom she openly discussed her pregnancy issues for nine months. And daycare needs. And god only knows what else.

I shared my office bridal shower with 2 other brides and 2 pregnant ladies. This is how it works in the office setting.  We come here to WORK after all, not socialize.

Ahem.

I hear HR is going to inform Mrs. Mannerless that is inappropriate to be an ungrateful, unsociable, unfriendly bitch.

Damn that she is already on maternity leave.

Keep Your Grubby Hands Off My FOOD *UPDATED* *AGAIN*

I just went into the kitchen at work to check on the state of my salad fixings. I bought a container of salad, and brought in smaller containers of the toppings to keep in the fridge for a week's worth of lunches. Imagine my boiling rage when I discover that someone has INTIMATELY TOUCHED my food containers.  The container which held my lettuce was OPEN and two of my toppings containers where placed INSIDE on TOP of the lettuce. The lettuce underneath it was wilted and disgusting. I am so FLIPPING PISSED OFF right now I cannot even tell you. I understand MOVING things around to make more room for other stuff. I have NO PROBLEM with that. But OPENING, OPENING someone's container of food? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??? And it is not as if the shelves in a COMMUNITY FRIDGE are exactly CLEAN. So whatever nastiness was on the BOTTOM of my two containers from sitting on the shelf was transferred to MY FOOD. MY FOOD.   My LABELED food. Hence how the culprit knew the items went together.
I posted a note on the fridge. Sans the swearing. I'm awaiting the lunch time back lash.
Where are people's manners? Who does shit like this? WHO?!?!?!

**UPDATE**
The Culprit wrote me a note back, but then removed it. A co-worker told me what it said since I only noticed  that it was missing AND that there was blue Sharpie marks where it  had been hanging.

"It was already open and wilted."


Well of COURSE then! That it an open invitation to do with it what you will! TOUCH AWAY!!!! No need to be HELPFUL and maybe close the container! Heck NO! Add more stuff to it! Rearrange away!!!
BE MY GUEST. Contaminate my food with fridge shelf dirt. It'll put hair on my chest. Just where I need it.

SERIOUSLY Person? SERIOUSLY? I am assuming you saw the error of your ways and hence removed the note after you wrote on it. I can only but hope that is the case and you didn't just chicken out and remove the note for fear of being found out.
Be aware however, I will be checking trash cans tonight after work, because I have a fair good idea who you are, Mrs. Nosey.

**** I was unable to locate the note. I still have no concrete evidence that Mrs Nosey is behind it. But I still harbor my suspicions.******

Check the box, Wait; No, Sign Here; Wait, No, Initial Here that You Checked The Box

The place I work is a smaller part of a larger company, separate; but equal. So we piggyback onto their insurance for greater bargaining power. In an effort to cut health insurance costs, they are checking to make sure the people who are using their insurance really deserve to be using their insurance. Completely understandable. I am one of those people, so I received the paperwork to fill out concerning F’s eligibility. There are several choices of documentation you can supply in order to verify that you are married or living together (i.e. living in sin) (totally did that.). The very first choice given is a copy of your Federal Tax Return. How much easier do you want it? Tax season just ended a few months ago, so this paper work should be extremely easy to locate, right? Right.


You can also supply a combination of various other documents. Like your marriage license and a mortgage statement with both your names on it. Or your marriage license and some bill with both your names on it. These last few choices would not work for us because both our names are not on any bills (who does this?) and we each have our own mortgage (my house, his “our” house). So you can see why I opted for the ease of the tax return. Of course this is proving to be a bit trickier because we filed electronically and they want the electronic tax filing number thingie which I am having trouble locating, but that isn’t the reason I’m writing this. I got the paperwork the last week of June with a deadline of August 13th. An entire MONTH to hunt up and mail your tax return. Simple, right? Apparently for the highly educated people in the company this is proving to be too stressful and too tight of a time constraint. Something I gathered from the e-mail the H.R. department just sent out.

Seriously people, an entire month isn’t enough time??? Unbelievable.

Dear [Employees],

We have received numerous concerns and questions regarding the time-line of the dependent eligibility verification project, listening and understanding your concerns we have made the decision to extend the deadline to submit documents until Friday, September 15, 2011. Your documents must be postmarked or received by [Random Consultant Firm] by Friday September 15, 2011.


As discussed in our earlier announcement, this verification is a part of our ongoing effort to control health care costs by ensuring that only eligible dependents are covered under our medical plans. [Random Consultant Firm], an independent firm, has been authorized to obtain your documentation.

By now, you should have received your initial packet containing detailed instructions. Also, we have been notified of long wait times when calling the Customer Service Call Center. [Random Consultant Firm] has acknowledged and is in the process of rectifying this problem. Please continue to communicate any problems that you are experiencing with the Customer Service Call Center to the [Employer] Benefits Office.

In addition, we have received concerns regarding the submission of your personal information to [Random Consultant Firm] please know that protecting your personal information is of grave importance to [Employer] and [Random Consultant Firm]. [Random Consultant Firm] has assured us that all documents provided during the dependent eligibility verification will be securely stored and protected through physical, electronic and procedural safeguards. In an effort to communicate the confidentiality safeguards that [Random Consultant Firm] has in place they have provided us with a frequently asked security questions document, which is posted on the benefits website, please click on the following click to access the document http://www.[redacted]/Forms/dependenteligibilityverificationfaqs.pdf

We understand the time and effort that it takes to locate the appropriate documentation (your just filed tax return) and we appreciate your cooperation with this verification project. Should you any questions regarding this process, please contact the Customer Service Call Center at (redacted) redacted.

Again, your documentation has to be postmarked or received by [Random Consultant Firm] by the extended due date of Friday, September 15, 2011.


Sincerely,

Director of Benefit Programs



So now, TWO and HALF months to send this stuff in. I do have to say, I called the company about locating the e-file tax number and if it would be ok to send in the confirmation e-mails I got, THREE days ago and no one has gotten back to me. EVEN THOUGH their message says that if you leave a voice mail they will return your call by the end of business the next day. Again, that was THREE days ago. So this company? SUCKS. I am at the point now where I am going to send it in with a note saying, um, yeah, I called you guys for answers and no one called me back, so here ya go. DEAL.

I may be writing you later this fall to tell you F is no longer covered under my insurance, but at least I’ll feel like I made a point. Maybe.

***They just called me. Fricking ridiculous!!! I have to fill in his SS# even though, EVEN THOUGH it is on the Tax form, which she then tells me the first 5 digits should be blacked out. Um, then I need to supply it to you again anyway?
"Yes, so we know the information came from you."
I, what??? I did the taxes so that information came from me. Seriously, who puts these things into practice??? It makes no sense.*****

Mrs. Nosey, Meet Karma; She's A Bitch

Mrs. Nosey got called out on her lack of work ethic (says the woman who blogs while at work, ahem.).
Anyway, for years now people have been complaining of Mrs. Nosey work habits.  Excessive personal phone calls, excessive Internet time, excessive long lunches, excessive unmet deadlines, excessive mistakes and excessive gossiping. Ok, so I added that last one in there. It may have been touched on, I don't know. It SHOULD have been, I know THAT for sure. 

If you are unfamiliar with Mrs. Nosey's past transgressions, please read this, this, this and this.

Apparently while our Boss was gone for a few days Mrs Nosey took it upon herself to up and disappear for a few hours. No one knew where she was. She ostensibly denied all of the above. To our Boss. And THEN she confronted one of her cube mates as the tattler. True enough, she had tattled, but she denied it as well. Not completely though, stating that is USED to bother her, but no longer did. LIE.  Mrs. Nosey told said cube mate that what she did was none of her business and that she was going to go tell our Boss every time cube mate gets and sends text messages. 3 grade called, they want their playground fights back. Mrs. Nosey assumed, incorrectly that her other cube mate was completely blameless. She too had complained. I do not know if she fessed up or not.
Mrs. Nosey's co-job mate(who is the true #1 tattler, but as yet remains un-accused) informed me that Mrs. Nosey blames ME for tattling about her phone usage. I sit 2.5 inches worth of felt cube wall away from Mrs. Nosey, and hence indeed do hear many of her excessive phone calls. However, I had no idea any of this was even going on until I complained about the other accused cube mate's excessive outbursts over news headlines.  So when my Boss mentioned Mrs. Nosey's phone usage I concurred that it was indeed excessive.

OH! I just remember another story about Mrs Nosey from awhile ago.  Her co-job mate from above is in some manner her supervisor. We'll call her Ma'am, she is the oldest woman in our office.  Anyway, Ma'am has been going through some family related issues. Ma'am confided (oxymoron) to Mrs. Nosey about these issues, and made her promise to not tell anyone in the office.  Mrs. Nosey turned around the very next day and told Crazy Co-Worker.  CCW in turn quietly approached Ma'am to find out if it was factual.  Ma'am confirmed that is was and queried as to where CCW got her intel.  CCW of course said Mrs. Nosey told her.
Are you ready for this?
Hold onto your hats.
Seriously, you are not going to believe this.
When Ma'am confronted Mrs. Nosey face to face, Mrs. Nosey FLAT OUT DENIED it. CCW overheard the whole thing because SHE sits 2.5 inches of felt cube wall away from Ma'am.
Ma'am relayed the whole thing to me of her own free will. She will no longer confide in Mrs. Nosey.
CCW was steamed when she overheard Mrs. Nosey's denial. Which could of course paint CCW as a liar.

Mrs. Nosey called off work today. I can't imagine why.

Our next staff meeting is going to be a delight.

I cannot wait.

Mrs Nosey; It Never Ends

A new story concerning Mrs. Nosey. We have a small building, but we still require a Building Manager. Our Building Manager is currently out for several months because of some SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue. In Building Manager's absence, people were handpicked by said Building Manager to handle all building related duties. Building Manager mistakenly assigned Mrs. Nosey some duties. Building Manager also mistakenly told Mrs. Nosey what the SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue was. Of course because it is a SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue, Mrs. Nosey was sworn to SECRECY. Such an Oxymoron that statement. Anyway, after Building Manager told Mrs. Nosey about her assigned duties and the SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue, Building Manager walked in on Mrs. Nosey telling an; as of this posting, undisclosed co-worker EXACTLY what the SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue was/is. Yes, that is right. She was BUSTED red handed. From what I am told Building Manager did not put the smack down on Mrs. Nosey even though she was; and rightly so, livid. Which, I really don't understand how she managed to control herself, but she is a less violent person than me apparently.


I swear this woman NEVER learns. Days later, she shouts out a question to Building Manager about when the SUPER SECRET Surgery/Medical Issue is supposed to take place. From down the hall. Where there are many offices located.

Really???????????????????????

OMFG. How has she not been written up? I do not comprehend this AT ALL. Unpaid leave maybe? SOMETHING to get through her thick ass skull.

As F would say “How about a FIST to her FACE???”

Do you think HR would do something then?

Mrs Nosey: The After Math

Remember this post from the other day about outing co-workers' pregnancies? Our direct boss decided that we needed a refresher about respecting others. So in our monthly meeting within my group she told us we needed to respect others and not share information that would otherwise be private. I was watching Mrs Nosey to see what her reaction would be, there was no reaction. She was completely clueless that the incident we were referring to was hers. After about 5 minutes Mrs Nosey finally says, "Wait, are you talking about the Big Monthly meeting??? The one where I told about the gals' (everyone is a gal, no matter how old) being pregnant??"
Boss: "Yes, actually I am."
Mrs Nosey: "Did someone say something??? Was someone offended???????????"
Then followed a 10 minute discussion where in she kept saying, "But everyone already knew!!!!!!!"
Our Boss finally said, " I didn't know."
"Well, EVERYONE besides you knew. *giggle*"
"People knew indirectly, but no formal announcement was made."
COMPLETELY DUMBSTRUCK. She just could NOT understand why what she did was wrong because EVERYONE already knew. I managed to keep silent for the most part. Others, who normally keep silent actually spoke up.  I wanted to scream at her, "HOW STUPID ARE YOU???? If they didn't  SPEAK UP when the Big Boss asked, what makes you think it was OK FOR YOU TO DO IT FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????" But I did not. I sat and ground my teeth instead.  After our meeting, I heard her whispering madly to one of our co-workers who told me later that she still just couldn't understand what the big deal was? Why would they care? SHE wouldn't care. She's very open about EVERYTHING. Yes, we all know you are unhappy in your marriage and are envious of your divorced friends and their carefree life. I would prefer NOT to know that about you. Seriously. The "talking to" she got, in my opinion, was not severe enough. I would have written her up and sent her to sensitivity training. Alas, I am not the Boss. Which for several people here is a VERY good thing.


*** I just found out that she actually may have seen the light. She apologized to one of the women. I was not expecting that AT ALL. But I'm sure she still doesn't completely understand what she did wrong.****

Bold Rudness

Remember how just a few days ago I told you that Mrs. Nosey took it upon herself to announce pregnancies for two of our co-workers? The woman has no boundaries, I swear to God.  This morning before our Boss got in, flowers were delivered to her office. Mrs Nosey went in to said office, exclaimed, "OH! She got flowers! Is it her birthday???"  Our boss's birthday was 2 weeks ago, which one of our co-workers reminded her. "Oh, well. OH!!!! It is her ANNIVERSARY!!!! HHHHmmmmm "To the love of my life (something else I couldn't quite make out)" " "Hmph, if my husband wrote something like THAT(something else I couldn't make out but it was clearly sarcastic)....."

Do you see what just happened there?? She READ the card on our BOSS'S FLOWERS before our Boss even got to see them and then, THEN she criticized what  her husband had written!!!!!!!
The out and out audacity of it all!!!!! It just blows my mind. I almost said something, but I keep biting my tongue. I would  have a very hard time not calling this woman  the "C" word if we ever got into it.
She is so beyond rude I just don't even know how to handle it.

I've Got a Whole Bag of ZIP IT With Your Name On It

We have a meeting each month that encompasses all departments in our building. Since our last meeting two women have semi-announced (read word of mouth) that they are expecting. When the big boss asked if there was any other news that needed to be shared, NEITHER of these women spoke up. The meeting moved on to a few other things and then he asked again, again both women reminded silent. So, our office busybody, Mrs Nosey took it upon herself to announce it FOR THEM. FORCING them to speak up. I cannot tell you how badly I wanted to reach across the table and smack that self-satisfied smile off her face. The one woman even said quietly, “I really didn’t want it announced.”


I just do not understand how she came to the decision that it was upon her to announce something so incredibly personal. I realize that pretty much everyone already knew, but there is certainly an unwritten rule concerning something like this. Isn’t there? Am I crazy? This isn’t an announcement that someone makes for you, unless they are your mother. It goes without saying, she is not their mother.

Is my extreme dislike of this woman coloring my view?? Was it ok for her to “out” these women who were CLEARLY remaining silent during the period in which they could have spoken up for themselves? As much as I would LOVE to put this woman in her place, I realize that that is not MY place. Oh, but how I wish it was. How I wish.

We've got Fievel

We have a mouse situation in our office currently. Over the last few weeks there have been several sightings. There have, in fact, been a few captures. Three to be exact. One of the women in another office group was apparently VERY concerned about the well being of said mice once they were captives. Being a fair and humane person, the Building Manager gave them “live traps” to place about their office space. Once the traps were set, the concerned woman saw to it that there was not only food placed inside the trap, but ALSO WATER, just in case they didn’t reach the trapped mouse quickly. Yes, that’s right; the trap was stocked with food and water. GITMO has nothing on us. It is believed that it is a Mouse (mice?) Family and that the 3 that were captured and released “back into the wild” were the older, or shall I say, Elder Mice. Apparently, one mouse was not so lucky, as he/she was found dead. The remaining mouse, we assume there is only one left, has been creating quite a stir today. Darting across cubicle floors, slipping under cubicle walls, creating all out panic amongst the open-toed shod. The mouse’s activities have resulted in two excited shouts (from those who saw it) and one cubicle entry way blockade by the neighbor of the witness. This isn't the first time we've had mice issues. Several years back, all our snacks were getting nibbled. That offender's life was inadvertently cut short by an almost empty pot of hot coffee that was emptied into the sink said offender was hanging out in. Our office has been a bit of a wild kingdom over the years. During its first few days in our ownership; we harbored two very smelly wet dogs from a thunderstorm. This seemed to set the trend with our outdoor brethren, that we were kind and gentle folk. The dogs became cats that lived out by the trash bin. The cats became bats that slept in office trash cans. The bats turned into birds that got caught between the walls while trying to spy on the snake that lived there as well. Do you have any idea how nerve wracking it can be to hear a bird flapping frantically behind the wall? NEVER MORE comes to mind.


We also seem to be the Mecca for bees and hornets and wasps. I was actually stung by one (one what, we’re not sure) that landed on my neck while I was talking to a friend out in the atrium. Our patio picnic tables draw bees, hornets, and wasps as though we coat them in honey and pollen. Were we chased from both tables today by the hovering bees that were unable to return home because my tush was blocking their entry.

After the events of the day, the Building Manager swore us to secrecy when she told us she’d be going out and purchasing “REAL TRAPS” to do away with the remaining baby mouse. There will be no supply stocking of this trap, outside of the peanut butter laden trigger.

Let the hunt begin.

500+ 1

OMG my digital friends, I've hit the 500 entries mark!!! This entry here will be 501!! Like the Levi's only better!


OK. Maybe not.

I'll just give you a good little giggle for the day.


F called me: "Hey, I need the number for the dentist, Dr. ABC."

Me: "Um, ok. Hang on a sec. What do you need it for?" ( I asked thinking he has broken a tooth or something since I can hear male voices in the background*very important to note*. Who wouldn't gather around for a good tooth chipping, hmmmm?)

F: "A referral."

Now mind you, when F calls me during the day while I'm at work, I sometimes have to pull my mind from focusing on my work, to do whatever it is he's asking me to do. Sometimes, my mental work fog doesn't always lift as fast as it should, or could, and lord knows I often hang up with him and think; Wait. What did I just agree to?

This phone call was one of those times.



Me: "Ok, 123-4567."

F: "123-4567. Are you sure?"

Me: "Yes.............WAIT!!! No no *giggle* that would have been pretty funny. That's the GYNOCOLOGIST'S number!!!"

F: "OMG."

Me: "Here 789-1011.hehehee”


In my defense, our dentist's name is the SAME as my soon to be former Gyno's name.

I Am Shocked, and Horrified

A simple question to CCW turned into a full blown rage session on her part. She informed me, strictly on the D.L., that our IT person has been caught in the act of reading other people's e-mail. On their computer. During the WORK DAY. Granted the power an IT person has to peep on their co-workers can be quite overwhelming I would imagine.


But to engage in such behavior in full view of everyone is just beyond ballsy. Especially when one of the people that busted you in their e-mail, used to be YOUR BOSS. And could still have boss like info. about your funky butt in their e-mail. I always figured the IT would look at the stuff we've placed on our hard drives and even the shared drives. But to peruse e-mail! Be it work or not, is completely unacceptable. Apparently this has been going on for YEARS. And CCW warned me to clear my computer, and to make sure if the IT person was doing any work on my computer that I be there, vigilant, as it's done. For the most part, this is my common practice. But the IT person has access to everyone's computer for weekend maintenance. I am truly blown away by the audacity and boldness. BOARD DAYLIGHT!!! With the person COMING BACK to their desk!!! Not even checking the e-mail as UNREAD so it would still appear as, well, Unread!

I'll be password protecting everything I can from now on. Not that it'll do much good.

Have any of you encountered something like this in your office? Someone blatantly abusing their power to intrude on privacy?

The Time Has Come

So, I guess it is time to make a decision on my hair style. Especially after my boss stopped me in the hallway and said, "So, I've been meaning to ask you. Why have you stopped 'doing'(makes curling motion) your hair?"
"I am so tired of it. I just can't be bothered anymore."
"Oh. Well, yeah, I understand."
"I want to cut it short, but F doesn't want me to."
"Yeah. Well, it still looks, nice."

Um, yeah. "Nice." I know my hair looks like crap. I have fine, poker straight hair. I do attempt to style it each morning. I still use gel and thickening lotion and hairspray. The result however just doesn't look as nice. Which, I just don't understand, there are other women in our office who don't style their hair, and it looks amazing. Why can't I be one of them???
I just don't have the patience for this. I WANT my hair to look good, of course I do. I just, I just kinda don't care anymore. Ya know?
I'm actually leaning towards the perm again. So easy.
This should NOT be such an issue for pete's sake!!!

Reading Comprehension, TRY IT

We have a.....................

GIRL!!!!!

named [redacted]

Everyone is ok, waiting on e-mail from [the mother] for further info!!!!


That is the e-mail I sent to our staff late the other night after a co-worker sent me text telling she'd had her baby.


I hadn't heard anymore, so I didn't send another e-mail. So you can imagine the slight irritation I felt when a co-worker came to me mid-morning and asked me, "Have you heard anymore from [the mother]????"

I actually said, "No. I said in my e-mail..." but she CUT ME OFF before I could finish my sentence.

Do people just NOT pay attention anymore to what they read? I'm very good about informing people of things, so if I said I would send another e-mail when I got more info, I'LL SEND THE FRACKIN' E-MAIL!!!!


Sweet baby Jesus, give me patience!!!!

What Do You Say???

Remember awhile back when I told you things were changing in my division?? I was worried and concerned, but it turned out the change was GOOD. G got us some training. And honestly, she is a pretty good boss. Another change was made. Our big boss went to part time and has one day off a week. We all knew this meant she was on the road outta town, after all, she only signed on for a certain number of years and those had past. This has been going on for about a year now.


A few months ago meetings behind closed doors started happening. When Crazy Co-Worker and I would express our issues with G she would tell us to "be patient".
 Change was afoot.
That change has now STEPPED UP and shown itself.
Our big boss is now G. She is the BOSS of our division instead of just CCW and me. And our "old" boss? She has been moved to "special projects" and will be going even more "part time" than she is now.

While CCW and I smile and sign to ourselves, others are NOT AT ALL HAPPY. Retirements, which have been a long time coming in some cases, have been announced.

The question I pose to you, my digital friends is, What should I say to my old boss? I've given G my congratulations. But what about old boss? Congrats on your downsizing?? Lucky you! You figured out how to continue to screw our system???

I mean seriously, what do you say?????

I'm all ears here people. Help me out!!!

Shoot me NOW

It is 24 degrees in the midst of a NATIONWIDE BLIZZARD and THE FAN is on, AGAIN.