Me Needs Some Pants

As I said before, I've started going back to the gym by taking the fitness classes they offer. A new round of classes will start soon and since it is summer, I need some cooler (heat wise, not style wise) workout pants. The ones I have now I LOVE. They are super comfy and stylish. But with the temps already topping out over the 70's, I will need something with less fabric. Crops, or Capris, something along those lines. Especially since I've signed up for ZUMBA! (i hope my instructor doesn't wear the little hat like the guy on the web page does. CHEESY) I'm hoping for a really great workout and since I am always hot, I don't want to get over heated by wearing the wrong thing. So I've start scouring the web for some cute, yet functional PLUS SIZED Knit Capris. No easy task my friends. They have to be just the right length or I end up looking stumpy, and that is NOT good.

Here is what I've found so far:

Lane Bryant wants $50 bucks for these!!!! Um, NO. Which makes me sad because they are way cute.

These are cute too, but I think the fabric isn't cotton. I don't that SWISHing sound as I workout.

These are Nike's from Nordstrom's $55!!!!!!! Dude, WTF? They are COTTON.

These are from Old Navy, and you can only order them from online.

The reviews are ok, but the ones with the pockets I'm not so sure about. Potential GAPING issue.

Plus, they're $20.

These are also Old Navy, but on sale for $12.50, maybe worth the try.

These are from Roaman's, and they are my FAVS. The reviews are AMAZING.

But apparently I missed their season, because this color and almost a white tan

are the only ones left in my size.

Now THESE. HELLO DADDY. What girl wouldn't want to stuff her plus sized body into these????

Does anybody know of any good crop/capris yoga pants that aren't crazy expensive and are still available??? I really need to get some!

OOOMMM....Nooooot Reeeelaaaaaxing.....OOOOMMMM

So, I'm back in the gym.  My doctor threatened to put me on meds for my sugar level unless I can get it under control myself. So I joined a couple classes. The first is an intense workout called Butts & Guts. I didn't think I would be able to walk out of the class of my own free will. But I managed. My unused muscles were not happy with me for shocking them back into use. But I enjoyed it, and I know it will be a good 6 week class to help keep me motivated. I was also told that I needed to lower my stress level as well for overall health improvement. So I decided to take a Yoga class. Now, mind you, I have absolutely NOTHING against Yoga. I know it is a practice that has been around for eons and it has many benefits.
But, O.M.G. The Yoga instructor I have? Total FLAKE.  Some of her lines are truly gems. "Breath deep. Feel the FIIIIIIIIRE moving through your body." "Even if you drank a little water, your belly is FULL!!!" I can't remember them all, there have been so many. But the one she said last week had me falling over with disbelief. "Now.........move......into...... the Asian squat." (Her instructions are very slow in coming and usually punctuated with alot of "Ums" and giggles.Sometimes she even reads them off a paper. I don't think teaching is her strong suit.) "The Asian squat is a good one. Now I know they are getting toilet seats over there now, but before, they would just squat over a hole in the ground or floor. Right?? So you have to have a wide stance with the Asian squat. I know they got toilets for the Olympics. Right? Lots of those countries OVER THERE don't use toilets. Right?"
My head whipped up so fast, it was truly a Scooby Doo moment of "RHUUUUUUUH??!!!"
Everyone else was just trying not to make eye contact with her. Um, yeah.
Last week when it still 80 degrees outside with 60% humidity @ 8 PM, we wasted 5 minutes discussing whether or not we should have class, outside. In 80 degree weather. We ended up inside where she told us, "Remember Yoga is the dance, and your breath is your partner."
Her style, and her comments make it hard for me to relax and focus on my breathing. This class has not been the stress reliever I had hoped for. So, I've decided to take Tai Chi next.
Taught by "one of those people" from "over there" who know how to do the "Asian squat".

Namaste.

No Rocking Chair for Her

My Mom called me.

Mom: "I just HAD to tell somebody!!!"
Me: "What????"
Mom: " I just saw the most handsome, good looking piece of male flesh I've seen in about 20 years!!!"
Me: "What? MOM!!!!"
Mom: *laughing* "Oh YES. I was out riding my bike and this construction worker! GOODNESS! I haven't seen anyone that handsome, oh my!"
Me: *stunned laughter* "mom!"
Mom : *continuing to laugh* "He had to be about 6'5", what a great body!! and his EYES!!! OH! I didn't think they made them that way anymore!!!!"
Me: "REALLY?!?!!? Mom!!!"
Mom: "Made my WHOLE DAY. EMMMMHMMMM, SO HANDSOME!!!"
Me: "Maybe I need to come bike riding with you soon............"
Mom: *laughing* "I knew YOU'D APPRECIATE it DH."

She's 70.
The epitome of "I'll quit lookin when I'd dead."

That'll be EXTRA

I realize this is OLD NEWS, to be honest, this little letter has been sitting in my draft folder ever since I got it from Spirit.  And seriously, who the frack  do you think you're kidding Spirit??


To our valued customers,

We have all seen how carry-on baggage has gotten out of control.(um, not really.) Longer security lines and boarding process, injuries due to overcrowded overhead bins (say what??? i haven't heard anything), delayed flights and passenger frustration has become commonplace.(because you don't enforce the rules you already have in place, oh and prices are CRAZY.)

At Spirit, we are always looking for new ways to save you money and improve the customer experience. We recently announced our latest innovation(per Webster: "A creation (a new device or process) resulting from study and experimentation." charging people money is not new, fyi.), which is designed to relieve the carry-on crisis(again from Webster:"An unstable situation of extreme danger or difficulty") , saving you time and money.
Our solution to the carry-on crisis(TONIGHT ON  20/20 THE DANGER OF CARRY-ONS):


Lowered fares


Lower checked bag fees(so basically, they are charging you for wanting to have clean clothes during your travels. how self involved of you.)


Give everyone a free personal item allowance(one tampon per?)


Allow customers to carry on an additional bag for a fee and give them
priority boarding so they have time and space to stow their extra bag(so if you bring a carry-on and pay extra, you get to board first. hmmm, is that really fair? Isn't the fee suppose to be a deterrent? I always thought they should board the plane starting in the back and working their way to the front, makes more sense anyway.)


Everyone(who owns stock in Spirit) Wins!


We expect (expect, not guarantee)total prices to be lower


Security lines will move faster(seriously? come on, not everyone is flying Spirit)


The boarding process will be smoother


Deplaning will be faster


Passenger and employee safety is improved with less over-stuffed bins(please, i can't take anymore.)

What to expect for travel after August 1st:

We have introduced PENNY PLUS™ fares available to our $9 Fare Club members** that are 1¢ each way plus fuel, taxes and fees*. If you are not already a member, click here to join.(give us more money)


We have lowered checked bag fees for $9 Fare Club members. A family of four checking four bags round-trip will save $80. Double the cost of being a $9 Fare Club member. Another reason to join now. Click here to join.(give us your money)

You can bring a FREE personal item onboard, such as a purse, briefcase, backpack or laptop computer.(which is different from now, HOW exactly???) Other exceptions are: assistive devices, medicine, umbrella, outer garments (coats, hats, wraps), camera, car seat/stroller, infant diaper bag, reading material for the flight, or food for immediate consumption(not for later! no way jose`).


If you choose to bring an extra carry-on bag, you may do so for $20 if purchased online as a $9 Fare Club member or $30 online, at the airport ticket counter or kiosk for non-members. If you choose to wait until the gate to pay, the fee will be $45 which is not preferred since it will slow the boarding process.( i don't see this going well)


Shorter, faster security and boarding lines. Less frustration while boarding and deplaning. Fewer delays.


Happier customers that pay less!(let me do the math for myself thankyouverymuch)

See you on board soon! We’ll keep working to improve your experience and lower your fare.

Hairy Situation

When I went to get my hair cut for the last time at my former stylist, she had on a sweater. Not all that notable, since it was winter. Except for the fact that sweaters are rather notorious for collecting hair. Your own, or others. (can you see where i'm going with this?) Normally I would think nothing of this. HOWEVER, said hair was on her sleeve, about half way down. Granted, she had her sleeves pushed up, but all that did was put the extremely long, and extremely NOT my hair, DIRECTLY in my face while she was shampooing me.  Someone else's hair, IN my face.  Dangling there. Unhindered. Unnoticed. Every time she moved her arm, said unknown hair tickled a different part of my face. Nose. Forehead. Cheek. Chin. Other Cheek. I about gagged as it zeroed in on my mouth. But THANKFULLY she was distracted and I was saved from the hair lip from hell. EW! Even now, MONTHS later it still gives me the chills!!!
It was torture I tell you. Gives a whole new meaning to Teasing your hair!!

24, you are PISSING ME OFF

First you make Jack a wuss.
Second, you make Chloe seem like an idiot and no one will listen to her.
Third, you RETREAD the SAME scenario OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
Seriously! How many times does CTU hire a traitor???
And Renee. YOU WERE JUST RAPPED. Are we really suppose to believe that in a six hour period you recovered from that and everything else enough to knock boots with Jack? REALLY?
And then get KILLED??? But the doctors who work on you don't have a SPEC of blood on them?
REALLY?!?!?!?!?!?

And Now, NOW Jack freaks out more about Renee getting killed than when his WIFE was killed back in session One???????????  His wife who was ALSO RAPPED???
WTF????
And I'm sorry, but Jack, you took it a little too far with the gutting of the Russian hit man. If it was in the name of National Security, ok, I can back you. But just for the sake of REVENGE???  Um, no.
24, you are not, ARE NOT making a good case for your viewers to want and go see a movie. How can you bring him back from THAT edge? HMMMMMMMMMMMM????

My Hair Apparent

I've told you all about my hair crisis recently. I am still not loving my style. I take that back, I love it immediately after my new stylist finishes it and then hate it the moment I fail in recreating it at home. What woman has not had this issue? Anyway, I have recently found a hair color that I like, a lot.  My natural color is dark ash blonde, aka, DISH WATER BLONDE. YUCK.

The color I discovered is this:

Dark Beige Blonde, or Sweet Latte.

 How can you not get behind a name like that? Once again, Target, you disappoint me. You don't have my color. WTF Target?? You keep doing this to me, make-up, hair color, other items, GONE, out of stock. Why do you love to torment little old me???

So I bought this instead:

Dark Natural Blonde or Almond Creme. Another great looking color, no?

Myself, I thought this is even a tad lighter in color, great for the coming summer, right???

Am I wrong? Let's do a side by side shall we?

No, I do not believe I am wrong, it IS LIGHTER.

So can someone please tell me why my hair is now THIS COLOR????

Medium Golden Brown aka Chestnut.

 How did this happen??????? I do not see the progression to darker, I do not. Maybe the wrong item was put in the wrong box, I don't know. But I can tell you, I DO NOT look good with dark hair. It pulls all the pink to the front in my skin which in turn makes me look old and pale. It is all wrong. Someone suggested I put in highlights, that scares me that I would end up with red highlights instead of blonde. Did I mention there are only 2 days left until we leave for the wedding Back East?

Um, yeah, now is NOT the time to be messing with my hair.  GRRRRRRRRRRRR

A Loving E-mail Exchange

I often send F an e-mail list of things that need to be done, reminded, picked up etc, while I'm at work so I don't forgot to tell him.  Here is the exchange after the most recent e-mail To-Do list:

From Me:
A few things.


1) that $20 ends tomorrow(kohl's money coupon), so you should probably go tonight and get them(shoes, he is like a woman when it comes to shoes). I won't be able to go with you since I have to......

2) cut the grass(hasn't been done in 2 weeks and it is about ready to re-seed itself)....and

3) make my dish for our potluck tomorrow which will require me to....

4) go grocery shopping, i might be able to do this at lunch.

5) You need to go to "the bank" and get a VISA card for L&T.(who are getting married this month which means a trip BACK EAST VERY SOON.) 
 
F's response:
wow that is some list... (please make special note of this sentence from him)


1. ok

2. ok

3. potluck??? leave some at home for lunch please

4. ok

5. I wanted to give them a check for money and not a visa card...

6. please grab a mother's day card for me tonight...(um? seriously?? after your OPENING LINE????)

Me:
1)good


2)good

3)no because you always complain that it's "too something"(my highly requested mac & cheese was "TOO CHEESY" which ended the setting aside of) and hence I said I would no longer set any aside for you.

4)good

5)fine

6)dude, seriously, get your own mother's day card. it means nothing if you can't even pick it out yourself. (mind you, until he got together with me, he never sent cards, FOR ANYTHING. Didn't even know when her birthday was, true story.)

F:
3. I said please


6. FINE...

Me:
3)fine, I don't want to hear any complaints.


6)Good, like I didn't have enough to do already. the card department is right by the shoes in Kohl's anyway. jeez.


AAAAAAAAnnnnnnnnnnnnnd...........END

Forgotten Manners Abound

My mom recently returned from the south to do her summer here in the Midwest. I picked her up at the airport. She was late, EXTREMELY LATE. I was kinda torked, because there are only so many circles around the airport you can do before you run out of gas. However, once my mother relayed to me the reason behind her tardiness, I grew incensed at the thoughtlessness, mannerlessness, heartlessness, nay! GODLESSNESS of people today. The flight was 4 hours long. There was a single mother with her small child on this flight. The woman was sick immediately upon boarding the plane. She spent the majority of the flight confined to the bathroom being ill in every way you can be. Upon landing, everyone jumped up and started crowding the aisle. Over the P.A. the flight attendant requested everyone to please remain in their seats so that an ill passenger could be attended to by the EMTs. An extremely few passengers sat back down. The majority continued to crowd the aisles until the EMTs were upon them. Once the EMTs reached the passenger in question, those they past jumped back up itching to be let off. Once again they were told to remain in their seats until the ill passenger could be removed. The EMTs left to get the woman a wheel chair because she was unable to leave the plane under her own power. People crowded the aisle AGAIN and tried to stand their ground until the extremely large EMT become irritated (I hope more disgusted than anything) and yelled, "SIT DOWN!" The other passengers grudgingly did so. The EMTs barely had the poor woman and her child on the ramp before the rest of the passengers began jostling each other for aisle space.


SHAME ON YOU PEOPLE. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME. If you were the one who was sick you would have been screaming bloody murder at the other passengers for violating you in whatever manner that restricted you from deplaning your ill self. Personally, if I was that woman, I would have fake puked on everyone as I was wheeled out.

And an extra shame note to the retired doctor who refused to come to her aid because he was RETIRED which apparently means he forgot all his medical knowledge when it came to helping, but NOT when it came to scolding the poor flight attendant for misdiagnosing the ill passenger. WTF old dude? WTF????



This sad act of humanity in no way of course tops these heinous acts of humanity.

Because I’m a Self Declared Expert

Lately, little to no food has sounded good to me. Yes, I’ll eat. But outside of my morning granola, I can barely be tempted to heft fork to mouth. Except when it comes to Mexican fare. For whatever reason I have been on a Mexican kick for like 2 months. I cannot be satisfied. Everything I attempt to eat that is Mexican doesn’t measure up to whatever yard stick I’ve got floating around in my head. Within the last 2 weeks I have eaten at 4 different “fast food” Mexican places. Let us start with the worst and work our way up, shall we? Because as the title infers, I’ve decided I am now an Expert.



***Composer’s Note***


From here within are purely my opinions.There is no science behind it. If you do not agree with me, that is fine. We are all entitled to our own opinions.


All meals were of the same notion, Burrito, which included, a variant of “Mexican rice”, some form of Steak, pinto beans, salsa, shredded cheese, topped off with sour cream, and a side of nacho chips. Easy enough, right?



From the Category of “I can’t believe I choked it all down”: Rio Wraps! Their RIOriginal Burrito? Oh sweet lord. The “Steak” was, Watery. The rice was tasteless; the sour cream was almost nonexistent. And the steak was watery. Did I mention the steak was watery? The greasy water ran down my hand as I bite into it. Even their chips were kinda gross. I don’t mind whole grain, but these whole grain chips were the whole grain of our parents’ youth, Cardboard. The best part of the whole meal? The lemonade.



Salsarita’s Fresh Cantina. Is our next stop on dusty road of Mexican Fast Food. F is always telling me I use too much salt, and when I cook, he says my food is TOO SALTY!! I of course don’t believe him, and tell him HIS food is TOO PEPPERY!!! Anyway, my point is, Salarita’s Steak Burrito was TOO SALTY. As in I COULD NOT FINISH IT. The meat was ok, other than the saltiness. Not the highest quality steak, that’s for sure. I don’t remember what the rice tasted like, but the salsa was good. Very spicy for the “Medium” I ordered, but still good. Their pre-sweetened tea made my teeth hurt from the sugar content. Thank goodness they had unsweetened tea to tune it down with. It was a forgettable burrito. The chips however were DEVINE. I imagine they would have been even better if I’d gotten the queso dip I ordered instead of the salsa, oh well.



Taco Bell. Some say it is not real Mexican food. I kind of agree, but in a fix it will do. I’ve gotten the Grilled Steak Burrito and the Grilled Suft Steak Burrito. Both are actually quite good. Both would benefit from more sour cream, but that might be just me. They are filling, and the steak is pretty good. The nacho cheese for the chips is kind of addicting in a cheap cheese like food product way. I’m actually kind of craving this now dang it. Luckily we have a Taco Bell right by our house.

Here’s a question for my digital friends across the pond, Why do you dislike Taco Bell? My friend A, who is a transplant in the U.K., begged her friends via Facebook to send her some Taco Bell seasoning because Mexican food is a no go over there. What gives?????



And our final resting place on the road of Mexican Fast Food stops is, QDOBA. Oh, be still my growling tummy. The amount of you food you receive is gut busting. Their Queso Cheese Burrito? HEAVEN. The salsa is good, the meat is fresh. The chips are just salty enough. The rice has a good flavor. ITS GOOD people, REALLY GOOD. My one complaint is when they are building said fabu-ness is that all the sauces end up on one side of the burrito. So when you take a bite on the left side you get an explosion of salsa, sour cream, and queso sauce, but when you bite on the right you get meat, rice and beans. It is sadly lopsided. I have actually asked them to place it down the middle or even on BOTH sides. That aside, Qdoba is my top choice for good Fast Food Mexican. I am still currently looking for a good Slow food Mexican restaurant. Alas, I have yet to find it.



And just for the sake of argument, I have tried Chipotle. It does not measure up to Qdoba. It just does not. The flavors are not as strong, even if they do give you more nachos.

Novel Idea!

This really made me laugh..........................

                                       Also, love these shoes!

A Realization I'd Rather Not Have Had

Remember this wedding F and I went to back in August? I thought I told you about the woman who showed up towards the end, but now I see I did not. I must have thought better of it at the time. The wedding was going all fine and well, we were all having a great time, when the origin of the word "Frenemy" walked in. Our table fell silent. Now this woman, I had not seen or heard from her in almost 20years. I was completely shocked to see her. And then I was completely upset. After almost 20 years the old rage and anger and hurt came exploding to the surface. I had no idea anyone was still in contact with her. Frenemy was the queen of the cut down, friend or foe; no one escaped her cutting words. She could deliver a backhanded compliment that would only dawn on you days later, that, HEY! That was MEAN! She always thought she was better than the rest of us, even though my circle took her in when the "in crowd" tossed her out. Out of all the girls in our circle of friends, I seemed to be the main focus of her attention when it came to slights and belittling. More often than not I held my own against her. But it stung. It hurt. And when we all scattered to different colleges, I was not at all heartbroken to be rid of her. Every now and again when I would go home for a visit I would hear what she was up to. Kicked off the college volley ball team. Dropped out of school. Drugs, she told me herself at a wedding one year. Then the reports stopped coming. I didn't really care. I felt that I had finally moved on. Then I heard she gotten married. And had the mother of our mutual friend,  R, do the flowers for her wedding. Not once did she try to contact R when she was in town dealing with R's mom. It appeared to me, that she'd had no problem cutting ties with her old h.s. acquaintances.


The Bride from the wedding in August sent out an e-mail announcing she was expecting. So I waited for the invite to her baby shower. It never came. So I put out feelers to those I knew keep in better contact with her than I do. In the end we decided to throw her a little shower of our own. A few ladies from way back were invited, no prob, it would be nice to see them after all these years. But then the Face Book message arrived from R: "A sent me text telling me she invited Frenemy and wants to honor her as well since she just had a baby."

Well ok. That little message sent my anxiety sky rocketing. I do not want to buy her a present. I had no idea she was even pregnant. My anger rolled over me. I shot off an e-mail to a friend who had recently come to me with a similar situation. I was disgusted with myself for still allowing Frenemy to affect me. To still be able to get under my skin after almost 20 freaking years. I tried to search myself for the forgiveness that I see in so many others. And that is when it hit me. My anger, my hurt, came not just from what Frenemy had put me through all those years ago, but from the lack of support from the other girls.

No one ever told her to stop. No one ever stood beside me in my defense. No one else, to this day, will admit what a bitch she was. A's husband actually told F at the wedding that "she's just a poor misunderstood little rich girl." Maybe. Maybe not. But it is with this realization that I am still hurt by my friends’ lack of support, that I feel calm. That I feel I can handle seeing her again, and being forced to interact with her.

It also comes with sadness. Sadness at the realization that my friends maybe weren't, and possibly aren't the good friends I thought they were/are. I am a ferociously loyal person. Every personality test and horoscope will tell you the same thing. I expect the loyalty I give to be returned, in full. And now I finally have to admit, that my childhood friends possibly aren't that loyal. Something F has been telling me from day one.

This saddens me to no end. And I am not sure how to move forward from here. I do not want to cut ties altogether, after all, R and I have been friends since 3rd grade. That is a lot of history to walk away from. But at the same time, walking away may be the only way to let the healing begin.

What to do my digital friends? Have any of you found yourself in this spot???

My New Love

I always thought that Nachos piled with cheese, drowning in sour cream was the best PMS crave food I could get. With maybe a side of cheese bread. Salty, sweet, and greasy, YUM. I never really felt satisfied though. All the heart clogging goodness could never really satisfy that deep down primal hunger.


Last night though, my PMS induced yearning was satisfied in a manner which I never thought possible. The longing was INSTANTIOUSLY quelled when The Outback Steakhouse server brought me their Aussie Cheese Fries.  SWEET HEAVEN on a plate!!!

 Aussie Cheese Fries

Aussie Fries topped with melted Monterey Jack, Cheddar,

bits of fresh chopped bacon and served with a spicy

ranch dressing. Regular 7.95 Small 5.95

That spicy ranch dressing? OMG. I can't even explain. I almost licked the dipping bowl clean. I never thought my PMS cravings would ever truly be met. But I am telling you my digital sisters, RUN out and get yourself an order. I think I even moaned when I took my first bite. They were the prefect portions of salty, sweet, gooey and greasy.

F and I got the small order, which was a good thing because lord knows we made quick work of those fries.

Yes, my new go to stress food, my new down under love, AUSSIE CHEESE FRIES.

Is it wrong to love a food in this manner?????

If it is, I don't want to be right!!!

Why Its on Sale

You know when it looks bad even on the model, it is a BAD IDEA.

Every slighty over weight girl should take one look at those sleeves and feel the need to fire up the Bic.

Seriously. BAD. IDEA.

The look on her face says: "HAHA, you're kidding me right? You aren't serious about this being a top you're trying to market to girls with hefty arms. For $60 bucks. Right?? Right??????? No marketing it down to $50 does not make it any better."

Things Like This Are Why This Blog Is Named The Way It Is, Or The Longest Title I've Ever Had

So, Um yeah. Adulthood DOES SUCK. Let me give you an example as to why.


Flooding.

Not major Katarina type flooding, but water standing where it is not meant to stand type flooding. F and I were on our way to have some fabu middle eastern lunch on Saturday when his cell phone rang, scaring the crap out of both of us.

"Tenant is calling."

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand my stomach fell to my shoes.

Tenant never calls just to say hi. Which I suppose in the scheme of things, I don't want Tenant calling every time a light bulb needs changing either.

F on the phone: "Shit. ....... Really? ........ Wait, leaking or flooding?.........Well we are about 2 hours out of town right now. But we'll turn around and come there.......Yeah, ok, no, we're coming...."

Tenant is never very clear about what the situation is. Or, F tends to tune him out when he calls. So I rarely get the full correct story. However, this time, I got to see for myself.

Water.

Standing water.

2-3 inches deep.(praise the lord it was inches and not feet)

The floor tiles were buckling.

The smell was, shitty. Literally.

In the time it took us to get there, because we did stop for lunch, Tenant had used an industrial sized shop vac to suck up most of the water.

Sewer back-up; due to a blocked drain and massive amounts of rain and melting snow.

F decided that he and Tenant would tackle the snaking of the drains on their own. I was taken home while F returned to the scene of my own personal horror.

About 2 hours later, F calls me.

"DH, you need to call around and get quotes from some professionals. We just can't get very far with this, not more than 3 feet." (a number he would later dispute with me, saying they'd gotten 25 ft of drain cleaned out. not.) So I called around. Four different places in fact. Apparently, backed-up drains were a hot ticket Saturday night, because they were all BOOKED. Yes. That's right, BOOKED. Either late into the night ("after midnight if you want to wait") or into MONDAY. I found one company that was not only the cheapest but would be to the rental property between 8 and 10 PM. I called F to confirm that that time period would work.

"YES SURE. Tenant hasn't been able to shower all day."

F came home at 6pm and said the smell of the waste (poo) was so stuck in his nose and mouth that he'd lost his appetite. I sent him to take a hot shower.

He kept complaining about how tired he was, I told him to go take a nap because I knew it was going to be a long night. He refused.

At 7:50pm he comes upstairs. "Let's GO DH!!!"
Me: "Go where?"
F: "To the rental! They'll be there soon!!!"

Silly BOY!!! Everyone knows that when they give you a window of time it is ALWAYS the latest time, not the earliest that they arrive at!!

Me as I make my way downstairs: "F, I'm not going over there and sit for 2 hours and wait for these people. Besides, they will call before they arrive. Let's just wait for the call."

For the next 2 hours he sat next to me on the couch and complained about how long we had to wait for the plumber to arrive back at the rental.

At 9:58PM F fumed and swore and threatened to call it a night. I convinced him to call the plumbing place instead. Apparently the Tech never got the message that he was supposed to add us to his route. We rescheduled for Sunday between 10 AM and Noon. You'd think after they "forgot" about us, we'd at least be at the top of their list. Not so much.

Sunday morning, we get a call. From Tenant. The water was back. Another 3-4 inches and maybe rising.

DAMN.

At 9:30 AM we arrive at the rental house to pick up the rented snake in order to return it.(a waste of $30) The tiles in the basement have buckled even more.

At 10:10 AM we hunker down for a TWO HOUR wait in our van out in front of the rental house.

At 11:55AM the Tech calls us to tell us he's on his way.

12:10PM Tech shows up.

12:15PM Tech assess the situation.

By 12:45PM Tech has finished the job and is packing his truck up to leave. He went 90 FT with his industrial Snake.

1:00PM I write Tech a check for $125.

1:10PM Tenant requests a 12 pack of beer "for his labor." F and I vacate the premises to purchase bleach for cleaning of the basement,("have HER pick it out, something that's NOT bleach smelling. She'll know, she's a woman and they know these things." Quote from Tenant to F.) a fan for drying of the basement and 2, 12 packs of beer for Tenant.

1:30PM We return to the rental property with fan, bleach (mountain fresh scent) and the 2 12 packs ("I said A TWELEVE PACK!!!" awes Tenant.)of beer.

2:00PM we stop for lunch.

3:00PM we return home and flop down on couch for the rest of the day, because really, who wants to do anything now???

I'm telling you my digital friends, as much as I LOVED my house when I lived there, and sometimes still dream of living there, I DO NOT IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM dream of having to deal with that crap again. If it had been me? There alone and this happened? I can't even tell you of the mass and depth of the puddle of despair and distress I would have been in.

If we could only sell the house for WHAT I STILL OWE. Oh the amount of money that would be freed up!! The bills we could PAY OFF!!!!

This my digital friends, is why sometimes, ADULTHOOD SUCKS.

500+ 1

OMG my digital friends, I've hit the 500 entries mark!!! This entry here will be 501!! Like the Levi's only better!


OK. Maybe not.

I'll just give you a good little giggle for the day.


F called me: "Hey, I need the number for the dentist, Dr. ABC."

Me: "Um, ok. Hang on a sec. What do you need it for?" ( I asked thinking he has broken a tooth or something since I can hear male voices in the background*very important to note*. Who wouldn't gather around for a good tooth chipping, hmmmm?)

F: "A referral."

Now mind you, when F calls me during the day while I'm at work, I sometimes have to pull my mind from focusing on my work, to do whatever it is he's asking me to do. Sometimes, my mental work fog doesn't always lift as fast as it should, or could, and lord knows I often hang up with him and think; Wait. What did I just agree to?

This phone call was one of those times.



Me: "Ok, 123-4567."

F: "123-4567. Are you sure?"

Me: "Yes.............WAIT!!! No no *giggle* that would have been pretty funny. That's the GYNOCOLOGIST'S number!!!"

F: "OMG."

Me: "Here 789-1011.hehehee”


In my defense, our dentist's name is the SAME as my soon to be former Gyno's name.

The Battle Rages On

I've told you recently of the battles my face is waging against me. It does not rest. It does not quit. It marches on across my face.  Last week, it was my chin.That was but a small skirmish, and cleared up quickly.  The mound from this post has dug in and refuses to leave.  It appears to have left a small force behind to maintain the fort, but has moved the mass of the troops to a new locale. The troops marched around the southern half of my nose to settle on the RIGHT side where my nostril flares out and meets my face. I continue to battle, alas half heartedly, against this unrelenting injustice. I purchased a new bottle of foundation fearing that the Old Foundation, and I DO mean old, at least 6 years(yes i know, but i RARELY use foundation), was a double agent and was supplying arms to the enemy. This tactic seemed to work for a few days, but either the enemy has turned New Foundation against me, or I executed an innocent old friend for desertion wrongly. I noticed New Foundation feels less greasy, which is a plus. I believe however this tactic was used to lull me as it went about escalating the number of creases and lines under my eyes. New Foundation is clearly working for the enemy.


I am losing the war my digital friends. I need reinforcements and potentially new supplies.

Can the U.D.N. (United Digital Nations) help their battle weary Blogger out? Supplies? Tested and True battle plans? ANYTHING??????

S.O.S!!!!!!

I Am Shocked, and Horrified

A simple question to CCW turned into a full blown rage session on her part. She informed me, strictly on the D.L., that our IT person has been caught in the act of reading other people's e-mail. On their computer. During the WORK DAY. Granted the power an IT person has to peep on their co-workers can be quite overwhelming I would imagine.


But to engage in such behavior in full view of everyone is just beyond ballsy. Especially when one of the people that busted you in their e-mail, used to be YOUR BOSS. And could still have boss like info. about your funky butt in their e-mail. I always figured the IT would look at the stuff we've placed on our hard drives and even the shared drives. But to peruse e-mail! Be it work or not, is completely unacceptable. Apparently this has been going on for YEARS. And CCW warned me to clear my computer, and to make sure if the IT person was doing any work on my computer that I be there, vigilant, as it's done. For the most part, this is my common practice. But the IT person has access to everyone's computer for weekend maintenance. I am truly blown away by the audacity and boldness. BOARD DAYLIGHT!!! With the person COMING BACK to their desk!!! Not even checking the e-mail as UNREAD so it would still appear as, well, Unread!

I'll be password protecting everything I can from now on. Not that it'll do much good.

Have any of you encountered something like this in your office? Someone blatantly abusing their power to intrude on privacy?

Things that Gross Me Out

1) Meat. In a CAN.

This has grossed me out since elementary school when a girl brought those little hot dog things in a can. The smell made me gag. Seeing them packed in water made me want to hurl.

F went out and bought diced chicken in a can from Costco because one of his co-workers told him it was good. That was about a month ago and none of the cans have been opened.

I’m dreading the day he tries to make me eat it.

GAG ME.

2) The Seafood aisle in the grocery story.

I hold my breath every time we have to walk by it. I desperately try to avoid it at all costs.

GAG ME.

3) Fish/Seafood. Period.

Please do not try and convince me that I don’t know what I’m missing. I’m not missing anything, and I’m glad of it. I will never miss that fishy taste that I can taste no matter what “cut” of fish I’m asked to try. Keep your fish, crab legs, oysters and seafood “Variety Buckets”. F had a seafood variety bucket when we went to Hilton Head Island. The smell alone made me want to move to another table, but watching him devour it, DEVOUR IT WITH GLEE, made me wish that I was in a whole other restaurant.

I made him wash his face and hands SEVERAL times that night before he was allowed in bed. I could smell it in his goatee!!!!

Especially keep your tuna fish. Holy hell the smell that shit leaves behind!

GAG ME.

4) Any of those Discovery Planet type shows that show animals eating each other. F was watching one about lions a few weekends ago. I had all I could do to keep from hurling as they showed the lions eviscerating the gazelles. Their blood covered muzzles really got to me. Oh, my stomach is turning just thinking about it.

GAG ME.

5) Pickled animal body parts.

I have no desire to see pickled pigs’ feet when I’m trying to pick out a lovely steak. F thinks he can convince me that eating chickens’ feet is like eating chips. Crispy and tasty.

When I was in college during Spring Break I went on what they called Alternative Spring Break. A group of us would go somewhere in the country and help out. Build houses, clean and paint the community center or work in the Soup Kitchen. Many restaurants and bakeries and what-not would donate day old food to the soup kitchen. Imagine my horror when I took the lid off the pan and a greasy layer of green goo greeted me. Then I stirred it to discover what meat product was contained within. “WHAT IS THAT???” my Midwestern, strictly meat and potatoes brain could not place the long boney item.

“OX tail.” The swarthy soup kitchen cook informed me.

“Eeeewww.”

GAG ME.

(If you eat these food items, please take no offense. To each his own.)

6) Cleaning up bodily, um, waste. Needless to say the bathroom is my LEAST favorite room to clean and getting F to clean is like, well, virtually IMPOSSIBLE unless I raise my voice and threaten harm. So yes, I know when we have kids I am screwed, but I’ll handle it. I think.

GAG ME.

What stimulates your gag reflex????

Taking Donations

OMG people!!! I have found THE dress for the wedding back East in May!! Alas, it is $200!!!!!!!!!!
I cannot justify that!!! CANNOT.

LOVE. LOVE.LOVE.

****UPDATE*****

CBF just found it in GRAY as well!!!

Sliting wrists now.....