Fashion Faux Pas

I wore a skirt.
(trust me that is a big deal.)

I wore a skirt to church.
(seriously, a huge deal.)

I wore a skirt to church with my mother.
(haven’t gone with her in a few years.)

I wore a skirt to church with my mother on mother’s day.
(she went with us to our church.)

I wore a skirt to church with my mother on mother’s day, and we were late.
(we’re always late to church, no fear of God here I guess.)

I wore a skirt to church with my mother on mother’s day, and we were late, which is why I forgot to wear a slip.
(honestly, I don’t really own a “real” slip I go for the “bloomers”, cuts down on thigh stickage. If you’re skinny you have no clue what I’m talking about most likely.)

I wore a skirt to church with my mother on mother’s day, and we were late, which is why I forgot to wear a slip, even though I had on bright red knickers.
(i hope no one noticed.)

What Do You Do?

What do you do when they lie?

And don't see anything wrong with it?

What do you do when they omit details?

And don't see anything wrong with it because they are "protecting you"?

What do you do when they mooch or think they are entitled to "special favors"?

And don't see how that's just not right?

What do you do when they turn to you and say, "Don't think I could love my kid if they were gay."

And can't see past that?

What do you do?

Lunch

What follows is a conversation I just had with 2 separate co-workers about lunch, a very important topic in our office. Some days we begin discussing lunch plans before we even have our morning coffee(tea for me).

ME: "Qdoba's?"
CoW1: "When?"
ME: "Lunch."
CoW1: "Today?"
ME: "Yeah."
CoW1: "YES!"
CoW1: "Didn't you bring anything? I brought a burger."
ME: "Nope, it'll keep."
CoW1: "Right, then I won't have to bring lunch tomorrow."
ME: "Right!"
See how well we rationalize things?

Conversation I had with my second co-worker inviting her along with us:

ME: "Qdoba's?"
CoW2: "Today?"
ME: "Yeah."
CoW2: "Alright!"

Simple and to the point, that's the only way to be.

I'm A FEATURE!

My Wedding Date Twin, Molly, over at These Little Moments, was kind enough to answer my burning question about what type of shoe I should wear for my wedding, open or closed toe.

Go check it out! She's a great person, with great hair, and shoes, and has a fabulous photographer for her wedding, whom I'm totally not stalking........

Julia Roberts Called, She Wants Her Character Back

F and I were watching TV when the trailer for the new McDreamy movie, "Maid of Honor" came on.

F: “Hmph, that looks an awful lot like My Best friend’s Wedding.”

ME: “It is, told from the male view. (F shakes his head in disgust at my confirmation) And how gay of you to know that.” (not that there’s anything wrong with that…..)

F grinned as he flipped me off.

Now Boarding....In-Law Visit....Gate: Insanity

FIL is sick, still, again, more badly.

“I may have to go back East.” F says.

FIL is sick enough that his doctor told him not to fly. He was supposed to be traveling for work.

“Can’t he take the train?” I asked F, knowing the place he was suppose to be going to was easily reached by train.

“Yeah, but then we’d have to pick him up in C. Cause the train doesn’t come here.”

“Wait, what? I thought he was going to D. How did we get from D to C???”(don’t you love my alphabet soup writing?)
I knew where this was going and my fear was confirmed by the extremely pregnant pause F took before answering me….

“Oh, I see what you mean. He could take the train to D. I thought you meant take the train here when they visit.”

“What? Your Dad is coming? I thought you said your Mom was coming, ALONE.”

“I want both of them to visit.”

“Um, F. This is kinda something you should have told me awhile ago.”

“Well it doesn’t matter now, since he can’t fly, so he’s not coming.”

All conversations we’d had about pending visits had solely included his mother, not FIL. How his mom would meet my mom and they would spend the day together, how his mother wouldn’t approve of us sleeping in the same bed so he’d sleep on the pull out couch. FIL was never mentioned.
I couldn’t vent my anger at him for leaving this bit of the equation out, he was already crying about his dad being sick and possibly not living until the wedding.
So I dreamed it instead.
I told him to tell the jeweler to keep the damned ring because the WEDDING IS OFF.
His face, in the dream was one of shock and horror.
I felt highly satisfied at finally making him understand how strongly I dislike his father.(of course calling off the wedding would mean FIL won, and we certainly can't have THAT.)

My ring arrived today.

TELL ME

Conversation F had in my presence:

F: ”Blah blah blah. Yeah well I need to talk to you about DH, but she’s sitting right here.”
Pause as his friend L makes snarky comment on the other end.

F: “yeah, she’s a pain.”
Pause as L says something, apparently in my defense because F then says:
“No really, she is a pain, trust me. HAHAHAHA”

He hangs up.

ME: “What did I do now that you have to talk to L about it?????”
F: “I can’t tell you that.”
ME: “WHAT?! Why not!?!? It’s about me! I have a right to know!!!”
F: “No you don’t. I have to talk to L about something about you.”
ME: “TELL ME.”
F with an evil gleam in his eye: “Nope.”
ME: “ARGH!”

Workin for a Living...

I passed a milestone at my job. 10yrs of service. For someone my age, this is a big deal. Most people in the Gen X group are job hoppers. 2-3 yrs, and they're on to something that's more of a resume builder. I, am just lazy. I've got it good here. Flex time-ish, 2 weeks off at Christmas, an insane amount of vacation time, it's all good. And the majority of the people in my group within the bigger office have been here as long, if not longer too. They work with me EVERYDAY. We can hear each other's conversations over the cube walls. And yet, AND YET half of them spelled my name wrong. You know how I feel about this issue. But somehow, the people who are in charge of in putting data, where things have to be correct, spell my name wrong.
At least I got a donut.

Seriously, Just MEAN

I love validation. Who doesn't? And each and every time I get an actual comment on one of my posts I get all excited and the warm feelings of love and understanding just flow through me. Someone CARES enough to make a comment. Someone UNDERSTANDS what I'm saying enough to make a comment. Someone actually finds me AMUSING. And since my commentators are so few and far between (no pressure commentators, NONE at ALL.....ahem) you can imagine my hurt and annoyance when I get C-SPAMed, Comment SPAM. Yeah, what the hell is that all about? Seriously? Are you really that lame that you have to SPAM on a Blog? And none the less it wasn't even a GOOD SPAM, it was about SUITS, MEN'S suits. Hi! little market research here, I AM NOT A MAN. And this SPAM? Not only once, nay! TWICE!!! SAME DAMNED THING! Really, just EVIL to do that to a poor girl. Repeatedly.
I've pasted it below so you can read it. But so HELP ME if you go comment on this twit's page instead of mine, you are so DEAD to me!
(please don't leave me for a poser!)

"Have you ever realized that when you buy readymade suits you get a choice of only a few colors & styles, also finding the perfect fit are quite difficult? Wouldn’t it be better to choose from over 2000 different British & Italian fabrics and get a tailor made suit at a similar price that you pay for readymade suits? We are a company based in Hong Kong and have been providing custom made suits & shirts since 1997. With representatives in major cities around the globe we can arrange to show you the fabric samples and take your measurements, or you can also place your orders online with the help of our measuring guide. There are over 2000 fabrics to choose from along with all the latest styles.All our suits and shirts are produced by highly skilled Shanghainese tailors in Hong Kong and delivered in about 4 weeks, express delivery can be made in 2 weeks at a minor extra cost. In case you are not able to find what you are looking for then please let us know your requirement may it be in words or by a photograph and we could arrange it for you.We also have an outlet at the Hotel Intercontinental Budapest where you are most welcome to visit us. Though we are not located in streets like Savile Row (London), we have still been able to offer made to measure suits to many VIP’s from around the world.Experience an easier way of shopping for bespoke suits & shirts at Euro Tailors"
Kenny Surtani

Kenny? Really? So doesn't make me wanna buy a suit from you. You know, that and the fact that I'm NOT A DUDE.

GROOOOOOOOOSSSSS

I was in the bathroom at work. We have those toilet seats that don't make a complete circle

The gap in between had a hair on it. A very dark, hair. Which of course leads me to believe it was a pubic hair. UGH. I stood there and took a deep breath and blew to get it off the "gap" and it worked. But when I looked down, I saw it had landed ON MY BARE TOES!(i'm wearing flip-flop type things)
HORRIFIED, I tried to shake it off but it just would not budge!
I looked over for a brief second and saw the pubic hair laying on the floor.
On closer inspection of my toes what I THOUGHT was the hair was really an unraveling thread from my shoe.
PHEW.

Things.....

That Should Be Illegal....

• Changing the gas price from $3.47 to $3.56 while people are waiting in line for the $3.47 price.

That's just low down dirty.

• Oh, wait, actually having to PAY over $3 for gas should be illegal too!!!

• The gas station that used to be at least 10 cents cheaper than everyone else, is now only a penny cheaper if not more expensive than everyone else.

The Bling Is Gone

I look at my engagement ring often. Mostly to check to make sure it looks good, you know, CLEAN and SHINY. The other day I was coming out of the kitchen at work and I happened to look down at my ring.

A diamond was missing!

Actually, it wasn't missing, it was a trick of the light, however I did notice that it was sitting lower in the setting then it should be. I got back to my desk and examined it more closely. The diamond in question had sled out of it's bracket or groove, if you will, on one side. When I poked at it with my nail, it moved. I got very nervous. I can't tell you how many stories I heard when I worked in the jewelry store about how the diamond was there and then it wasn't. One good knock and I could lose the diamond for real! I immediately e-mailed F and told him to get in touch with the Jeweler where he bought the ring, back East. As I was waiting for his reply a co-worker came in and I told her what was happening.

"Oh yeah, it totally IS sitting lower!" (i tell you this so you don't think I'm over reacting.)

F called me back and told me that I have to send the ring back.

Back East.

How long will this take? How long will I wonder if anyone will notice it missing and think the engagement has been called off? I can't take the stress.

My thumb keeps going to my ring finger to mess with the band.

The one good thing about all of this? The deep scratches on the ring from when I wore it while sanding joint compound should get polished (buffed, for those in the know) out. And then my ring will be returned me to all shiny and new looking! YAY!!!!

Trust me, you don't want to see a pic of the ring on my pudgy finger, but this is what it looks like.

Sleepless...On the Couch

Remember last week, F went far far away.(he asked me to pack for him.) F has now returned.(he asked that I UNpack for him.) F is completely disorientated because of the time change and what-not. F still has not put the suitcase and presents and trash away from his trip. It completely litters the guest bedroom and bed, i.e. the room I go to sleep when he snores. I refuse to clean it up for him. Especially after spending the week he was gone cleaning the whole freaking house by myself, missing all the lovely sunny warm weather. Extra especially after he found the energy to go hang out at his hobby for half an hour and shoot the breeze with the boys.(i was dragged along.) So last night, after he went to bed at 8 pm, he began to snore beyond belief. Since I refused to clean up his mess, YET AGAIN, I found myself on the couch shortly after I came to bed. He came out about 4 am and told me to come back to bed, I declined to do so.
He knew he was in trouble.
He came and asked me again at 5am.
Again, I declined.
We met in the hallway after he got out of the shower, "Good morning?" he queried.
I narrowed my eyes at him, "good morning."
"What's wrong?"
"I'm tired."
He dropped it.
But he did start picking up after himself.
I think he got the message.

JC Penney is a Damn Tease

So the shoes from JC Penney's? Available on line ONLY. Which, ok, my fault for not paying better attention to what the site said. F came along for the ride. (he is still totally out of it. Woke up at 4 am this weekend, which means I was awake too, not cool. But YAY! he's home.)
Anyhow, fighting through my 3 hr long sinus headache I stumble downstairs and make my way back to the Penney's website only to find that in my size, those lovely shoes, come ONLY IN BLACK. So yeah, I didn't get them. Oh, I could have had them in white, if I wore a 6.5. What is it with the 6.5s!?!?!?!!?
The hunt continues.
F suggested that I go to DSW.
How does he even know such a place exists?????????

Is It Wrong?

I have a friend at work that had a pair of heels that she absolutely loved. Loved to the point that she had them resoled, like 5 times. After several years they were scuffed and scared and stretched out, I finally convinced her to buy new ones. The ones I found for her she didn’t buy. She went shopping on her own and bought a pair of shoes that she now hates. Hates to the point that she’s reinstating the old pair.
My point here is that I too had a pair of sandals that I loved. They were from Target, Cherokee Fisherman’s Sandals. I wore those suckers all over Europe. Wore them all summer. I LOVED those sandals, they were so comfortable. A few summers later while getting ready for trip to Australia I discovered that they really smelled. I hunted for replacements, all over the net. I could not find them. So I bought a pair of shoes that CBF said were like butter, a pair of Sketchers. She’s very foot conscience. I wore them all over OZ, and I HATED them. They were heavy and the black rubber insole made my foot sweat and turn black. Then the stitching started to come undone. I went back to my original Target sandals the next summer. I would switch between the two pairs, but ultimately, the Target ones would win out. Then the sole got a crack in it from one side of the shoe to the other. I continued to wear them. This past summer the insole came free from the sole. I was determined to continue to wear the sandals until they fell apart at the seams for the top leather straps were still in amazingly good condition. However, the SLAP SLAP SLAPPING of the insole back into the sole with every step I took drove me crazy. I began my hunt again and found a pair of nice shoes online, for $80 bucks. F shamed me out of buying them, saying that was too much to spend on sandals. I reluctantly purchased a cute pair of fisherman’s sandals from Payless and wore them to Boston. Where the straps came into the sole, the lump it created, poked me in the bottom of my foot and rubbed them raw. And then my knees started to hurt. I was able to fix the poking rubbing strap, but even so, every time I wore them last summer my knees would hurt. I cursed those sandals, and I greatly fear having to wear them again this summer.
So what all this is leading up to, is this; I found some new fisherman sandals that I think would be ultra comfortable. And they cost $85 bucks. They are Doc Martens. Docs are suppose to be very good shoes, but are they really worth $85 dollars? And can I, so broke it aint no joke, justify a pair of $85 dollar sandals?

I realize they look kind of manish, but they are so damned comfy, if you get the right ones,and they look so cute with shorts, or jeans, or capris.

I also found a pair from Red Wing that are $75.

Thoughts?
Suggestions?

Oh, and JcPenney's is having a sale, so I checked out their website too. They have a pair of Clarks on sale, so I went to the Clark's Website. Um, HI! I'll take one of every pair of your sandals, Thanks!

Oh, and I found THESE on the Penney's website, I think I may have found my Wedding Shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aren't they so, simple and sophisticated? AND I can actually try them on to see if there'd be any Polish Foot Mush.

ARGH!

I told you all that F is currently out of the country for work related stuff. I was so excited that I was going to get to sleep without earplugs! YES! I thought to myself, I'll FINALLY sleep like I did in the days before F! LIKE A ROCK. Surely I've mentioned his snoring, haven't I? The snoring that makes me go sleep in the other room? The snoring that requires me to wear ear plugs to bed EVERY NIGHT?
We bought a box of like 500 ear plugs a few weeks ago.
I was actually excited.
About ear plugs.
Anywho, the first night F was gone I snuggled into the middle of the bed for a much needed good night's sleep, and jumped at EVERY SINGLE DAMNED SOUND I heard. I found out that our house is extremely noisy at night. Who knew? I've conquered the problem by loading the CD player with "sleepy time music" as my niece called it when she was little, and promptly fell asleep. Slept through the night even. But I still woke up feeling like I didn't sleep. And now, after several days I wake up before the alarm goes off, by like an hour. And CAN NOT fall back to sleep. WTF? All my glorious plans of great sleep, not so glorious.
I'm seriously looking forward to Saturday, when F returns.
I figure at least I can sleep in that morning before I have to go get him at the airport.
Which of course will end up with me awake at an ungodly hour because I'm afraid of over sleeping and not going to pick him up on time.
This is what it's like to be me.

Really?

I've told you about my recurring chin hair. Now I seem to have sprouted some kind of wire out of my cheek. Ok, so it's not REALLY a wire, but it feel much stiffer than a hair. Almost like that plastic thread they use to sew tags into clothes. Know what I mean? The stuff that keeps pricking you in the neck? Yeah, like that. When I run my finger nail across it, it makes a clicking noise. My facial hair has it's own sound track. I've gone at it with the tweezers several days in a row, but to no avail. It's just not long enough yet for me to be able to yank the damned thing out. It's like the missing tooth, or the hang nail, you just can't stop messing with it.
I can seriously see this being an issue come wedding day, and all the pictures will showcase me with my hand plucking at my face.
Lovely.

Clean Up..Aisle...ALL

I went grocery shopping on my lunch just now. Even without F here to help eat food, the fridge is bare. I went just down the street to my favorite major chain and commenced spending money. About 2 aisles in it hit me, hard and fast, I have to GO NOW! I believe I told you the horrors of not having a gall bladder. I like to know where a bathroom is at all times. I was however completely clueless about it's location in the grocery store. Squeezing my ass cheeks together as tightly as I could I thought I could make it through the store, check out and then back to the office, unload all my groceries and THEN go to the bathroom.
Yeah, not so much.
I asked an employee where the restroom was and she pointed, not 20 feet behind me tucked in next to the Pharmacy was the restroom. GLORY BE PRAISED! I had to keep myself from running there, slammed my cart to a halt and bolted into the farthest stall down. It was then that I discovered that I'd just spent the last 30mins traipsing around the store with my zipper wide open.
Like a good girl I'd "gone" before I left for the store, and apparently I either didn't do up my pants, or they came undone.
Nice.
Then while in the checkout lane I noticed the seasoning packet I'd bought to season my roast had a tear in it. Not too big, I figured I could make it back to the office and slap a little scotch tape on it. As I unloaded the bags I noticed a brown substance pretty much coating the inside of one bag.
I tossed the packet into a baggie and tried to salvage what was coating the bag, didn't really work. So the $3.69 I paid to make my life easier and more tasteful? There's about $2.00 worth left.
I guess I should have waited to shop.

Drunken E-Mailing

What follows is an e-mail F sent me. F is currently out of the country. He'll be gone for several days. Because of time changes and whatnot, his sleep pattern is totally screwed up. I laughed when I read this e-mail because it takes a bit of deciphering because the spelling and typing are quite nasty. I've placed the proper word next to the wrong word, in green.
Have fun reading, I know I did.



"DH, went out for Suchi Sushi and got totally fat and drunk and I am majorly buzed buzzed now... it was nto not just one glass of bear wither either. it was 4-5 glasses and 2-3 shot os of sachi (sp?) sake... I can not belive believe I am coherant coherent enought to type this email... okay I am goin g going to surf the net and watch the soft porn* they have on regular tv here... cheers love F"

* Just so you know, I told him watching porn was wrong, and that its even worse to tell me he was going to go watch it. Boys.

PMI: The Reckoning

Red flags? A few.
Were they major?
Not in Father's opinion. In fact he said there weren't any red flags.
The first Flag we talked about was our families, because apparently F thinks my Eldest Sister and Eldest BIL could be an issue. He doesn't feel comfortable around them.
Fair enough.
We talked about FIL and his behavior. Father really didn't have any advice on that, other than to respect him.
And to not move Back East.
He was concerned about our financial answers. Despite how much F and I make combined, a tidy sum, we are still struggling. Me the most, with my ever looming credit card debit. (if only my house would sell, Pray Shout Out to St Joseph!)
Other than that, it went ok. Until Father told us that he's almost certain he'll be leaving our Parish come July. So not cool. But he would come back and do our wedding if we wanted him too and that if the Priest he thinks is coming to replace him is really coming, we might be just as happy with him. (we'll see. We may have to stalk Father to his new locale.)
And then, F? Totally ratted me out. See, F and I are both Christians, but from different sects. Vastly different as far as I'm concerned and since his religion doesn't allow women to participate in the running of the Services, and basically paints them as second class citizens, I refuse to attend. He told Father that he'd ask me to attend and I refused.
Father took his side. Telling me I should go because it's important to F.
I don't like being ratted out to the Priest and I couldn't sleep last night for thinking about it. I'm a little hacked off about it. (F used this same tactic on FIL concerning me to their Priest. And I think that's part of why FIL resents me, or whatever his negative feelings are towards me.)
I'll go. But not because Father is a "Father" and he holds some kind of religious authority over me, but because I respect Father as a person, and hence respect his opinion.
But I won't like it.