I See The Finish Line

Ok, so I know it has been awhile folks. We have been so very busy I can't even explain it all.

HOWEVER, somethings have moved forward. 

The House, IT BE SOLD ya'll!!!! The Mortgage Co finally got off their collective asses and approved the sale. This occurred after an intense panic attack brought on by an email F received from our Realtor/Next door Neighbor.

­ I was at home with a major headache and he calls me, “Did you see the email from Realtor???”

“No, why?”

“Something about needing papers? I’ll forward it to you.”

“OK, let me check.”

Now mind you, we had gotten an e-mail right after the New Year telling us the buyer was getting “ansty” to close.  It ever so lightly hinted that he might pull his offer. This sent us into a tailspin. And now, after that had calmed down, we get this email that had gotten F in a frenzy.

I read the email and felt it was directed at the buyer and the buyer’s agent for the need for some papers to be signed. F however was not satisfied with my assessment and insisted on calling Realtor. Who in turn informed him that the Buyer wanted to close NEXT WEEK.  I believe this was on a Wednesday.  F was mad at me for not being more involved, even though mind you, I’d received no indication or even the email stating this, that is was eminent. I supplied F with our Lawyer’s phone number and sat at home worrying myself over the loss of the sale, F’s anger, my pounding headache, you name it.

When F finally arrived home, he claimed not to be angry. He did not get ahold of our Lawyer, but left him a message.  It all turned out to be the Buyer’s Agent wanting this buttoned up before she went ON VACATION. Thank you, you simple mind wench for giving me a heart attack. 

She went on vacation, came back, and we closed a few weeks later. What was the rush? Really?

Also, the Negotiator ticked me off by stating, "I BELIEVE these are the papers you need." When pushed about the final approval letter from said Mortgage Co. I in return stated to my Lawyer and Realtor, "Am I the only one who thought 'She BELIEVES? Shouldn't she KNOW?'"

That aside, we will be single home owners once again! With some extra money in our pockets!!! YIPPIE.

Oh, also, my bathroom went from this:

Peel and Stick Tiles(which was coming up) laid over 1955's 1 inch tiles

To this:

Studs and a new sub floor

Gotta love a good reno. I think by the time it is done I will be banned from quoting anything from Mike Holmes.

GLUE IT AND SCREW IT BITCHES.

Sailing along in a Whirlpool…

  “Hurry up and Wait.” 

I remember when my sixth grade music teacher announced to us new sixth graders that is was going to be the way of the world from here on out. Even at the all-knowing age of 13, this concept dawned anew, yet very wise to me.  You tend to forgot this, when you are waiting for 45 minutes in a paper gown on crinkled paper atop a pleather table, or on hold with the electric company; but I think if we kept it in mind during these moments it would help alleviate some of our blood pressure issues.

My most recent case of “Hurry Up and Wait” pertains to the Short Sale of my house.  Things were sailing along rather smoothly despite the Mortgage Company and their feet dragging ways or the buyer deciding they needed to be an LLC and the Mortgage Company saying no.  We had moved past that. The Mortgage Company came with an offer, PAY US MONEY for the next five years and we’ll call it good. I, in need to be done with this, was ready to jump at the offer as is. Our Attorney, (and F) decided it would be best to go back to the Mortgage Company with our pockets out and the lint dangling from our elbows as we croakedly asked, “Please Sir, can you make it less?”

Fine, less out of our pockets is a good thing. I agree. But time is of the essence here, and all this back and forth takes TIME. Lots and LOTS of time.  Mortgage Companies move SLOWLY, even when it comes to collecting your money. Just read the news about how far behind they are on foreclosures, at least a year.  So I was settled in for a long wait. Our Realtor had told us at the onset of the process that the minimum was six months.  We are at month FOUR from the ORGINIAL offer.  On October 19^th  the Original Buyer decided to be an LLC. We then moved through changing names and resubmitting the NEW Buyer offer to the Mortgage Company. New Buyer appeared on October 28^th.  That puts us at TWO AND A HALF months. As opposed to SIX.  Am I wrong that I started counting over when we had to change names? That took time.  Plus the Original Buyer took a little trip out of the country and papers weren’t getting signed or notarized, and that was a cluster.  So here we are, two and a half months later, after THREE major holidays, and the “Buyer” Original or New I am not sure, is “(g)etting antsy.” So says the Buyer Realtor.

Seriously dude?  Now I know I thought your realtor was kinda flaky, but I at least figured since she made such a show of how many short sales she was juggling she would have told you that this takes time. Months of time.  Apparently, I was correct in my judgment of her lack of sense.  I gave her too much credit.  Silly me. I do have a problem when it comes to going with my gut instincts. It has been an issue I have struggled with since childhood.  That aside, I truly do hope the ants get out of your pants, or I may be suing you for mental anguish if you pull out of this sale. I cannot take much more of this.

Patience is a virtue. 

Please have some of both.

Now is Not the Time

The "Buyer" of my house has requested that he be listed as an "LLC" or a "Limited Liability Company" on the sale even though that is not how he presented himself on the paperwork and that is not who I agreed to sell to.  The Mortgage company will not allow it.
Please Lord, let him back down on this point. We really need to be done with this house.
Say some prayers for me my digital friends.
*****The Mortgage Company/Bank has refused to sell the property to an LLC.*****
The Buyer is backing out.
We are fucked.
Thanks again Mortgage Company.

Sell Already, PLEASE

I’ve told you about the Short Sale.  It is currently in a holding pattern because the Buyer sent back his “I swear I’m not going to flip this house” affidavit back without it being notarized.  Seriously, F and I don’t understand how the Mortgage company can make such demands of him, but whatevs, if he is willing to sign it, it is up to him either not do it, or do it and not get caught; and it is up to the Mortgage company to enforce it. Right? F and I are completely out of that part of the equation. FINE BY ME.  Our Attorney also keeps asking for the Buyer’s proof of funds, but I swear to you, it was sent. And I forwarded it to him AGAIN the other day. He even told me back when he first got it that he used it as an example in another short sale for the buyer there. I really don’t need the added stress that is swirling around right now.

If  THAT isn’t enough, said VACANT house seems to be living it up while I’m not there. Lights blazing, washer/dryer/dishwasher/fridge all partying it up because last month the electric bill was $190.00. ONE HUNDRED NINETY DOLLARS. For an empty house. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?? That is $50 dollars MORE than what F and I are paying at a house we are living in, full time. With lights and cell phone charges and TVs and tons of other stuff running pretty much nonstop.  Look at the usage. “My” house: 1128 KWH. “Our” house? 741 KWH. With two people living in it. And a dog who listens to classical music while her owners are gone so she has less separation anxiety. And 2 tvs, and a fridge and microwave and well, you get the idea.

I just got off the phone with the Electric Company.  They are adjusting the bill, AGAIN. It was wrong last month too.  I think $88 bucks is a much more reasonable amount, don’t you? Let us hope we don’t have to go through this again next month, because seriously, I will go cut those lines myself.

Now I get to call the Gas Company.

Where’s the assistant who handles all this stuff?

Oh right, I’m not rich, so I have to do it myself.

Damn it.