I'm Such A Wuss

At the end of July F and I "rescued" Puppy. She and her siblings were left at a Kennel and when no one was available over the "long fourth weekend" they were scheduled to be put down.

How could you look into that little face and kill it?

One of the local shelters was alerted to this and swooped in and saved them! YAY!!!!!  When I put into this shelter to adopt it was to adopt one of Puppy's brothers. I was informed that Puppy's brother had just been adopted but the Other Brother was still available. I wasn't really interested in Other Brother, but felt obligated to meet him. When their Foster Mom got out of her van, she had 2 puppies with her. Puppy's first adoption had fallen through.  F and I immediately fell in love with her and cast her brother back out into the adoption pool.  Don't think me heartless, Foster Mom told me on the phone before the meeting that there was EXTREMELY HIGH interest in all the siblings and that I needed to jump on this ASAP. Anyway, $400 bucks later, Puppy was ours! We took her with us to buy another $200 worth of pet supplies, (holy crap) and she has been an extremely bright light in our lives ever since. We adopted her on a Saturday. When Monday rolled around and I was tasked with putting her in her cage and leaving for work, I almost didn't make it. She started to cry. Oh how she CRIED. I started to cry. I felt like such a horrible person, leaving her all alone for EIGHT WHOLE HOURS locked in a cage! I walked out the door and could hear the heartbreaking howl as I turned to lock it. I could hear the crying fear of loneliness as I staggered to the car. My eye liner began to run. I begged her to stop crying. She did not heed my plea. I made the mistake of rolling down my window as I pulled out of the driveway. I could still hear her. My heart broke. I called F and cried to him over the phone. She will die of loneliness! She will hate me when I return! I am heartless! I cannot do this everyday, I will not survive! I whimpered throughout the day to anyone who would listen. How do you did it? I questioned of those with children. How do you leave them when they cry? I am so weak!  

F called me when he arrived home. She was ALIVE! And better yet, she  had eaten some food! (she hadn't eaten in 2.5 days and we were beyond worried.)  When I arrived home a few hours later, she greeted me with joy! My heart healed in an instant. As the days progressed it became less heart wrenching to leave her.

She started to relax and become part of the family.

She loves her "bed"

This past morning I dropped her off for an overnight stay with the Vet. She is getting "fixed". I am yet again worried that she will hate me when we get her back. I am worried that we may not get her back. I am worried about her being in a strange place overnight with no one to hear her when she cries at 3 AM to be let out and then escape, to bolt into our room to sleep the rest of the morning on her pillow by the bed.

 I can't say I'll miss the 3 am potty break, but I will miss her.

Yes, I know it is only overnight. This is why I'm a wuss.