Things....

You can’t do when you have people staying with you….

1) Fart.
2) Walk from the bathroom after showering, to your bedroom, with just a towel. Wrapped around your head.
3) Sleep nude, JIC there’s a late night run-in outside the bathroom.
4) Be nude about the house, period.
5) Get changed or dressed with the bedroom door open.
6) Do your hair in the bathroom while only in your knickers.
7) Tell your significant other that they’re an ass, or you’re going to beat their ass, or they need a kick in the ass. (I’ve become VERY good at deathly cold if-looks-could-kill looks. I think F even shivered once.)
8) Say FUCK IT!
9) Say FUCK IT, we’re having pancakes for dinner.
10) Yell.
11) Cry.
12) Come home late.
13) Argue.
14) Drink an entire bottle of wine. (Which I actually did, because I was using it “for cooking.” Although F polished off the last bit directly from the bottle.)
15) Take too long in the bathroom without rousing suspicion.
16) Decide at the last minute what you’re having for dinner.
17) Have leftovers for dinner.
18) Give your own mom the china teacup and saucer (HER cup and saucer that’s kept at our house, to be exact) and give the guest a mug.
19) Fool around. (its wrong people, it’s just WRONG.)
20) Leave the dishes in the sink. (even though when you go to their house, that’s exactly where all the dishes are.)