Thursday, October 27, 2011

Check THESE Out!!

Crazy Co-Worker has been on a shopping spree and likes to show and discuss with me her new outfits. I am more than happy to talk clothing with people. Hit me up anytime!
However, when you corner me in the bathroom and force me into this conversation, well, I'm not so inclined to chat with you.

"You know DH, these new clothes of mine are great. I even got new underwear."
"Yep. I like the silky ones, you know? And these new ones, you can wear instead of a slip because they are made out of slip material and don't show your panties lines. Have  you heard of them?"
"We I really like how they feel. And around the leg they have these ridges, to keep them down."
"Yes, made of rubber, right?"
"YES! Like see these leopard print ones *pulls down her waist band about 4 inches to expose said silky leopard print* Are real nice, feel them."
I of course hesitate. Feeling someone else's underwear while they are wearing it? Odd.

"Go, on."
I gingerly touch said leopard print silky underwear on CCW's exposed hip.

"Right?? Nice!!"

"Yes, very." (please don't let anyone walk in right now!)
"But you see when I wear them with regular stockings they fall down! So I spend all my time hitchin and yankin them back up."

I giggle as she makes the motions in the bathroom mirror of hitchin and yankin up her nylons. I mean really, how could I not relate to that?

"But when I wear these kind of stockings, *exposes her leg to show me tights* They work perfectly!"

"That makes sense."  I say as we both head towards the door. "Just know CCW, that I won't being feeling any new bras you may have gotten."

"*LOL* oh DH, you're the ONLY one I've told about my panties!"

Lucky me.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Now is Not the Time

The "Buyer" of my house has requested that he be listed as an "LLC" or a "Limited Liability Company" on the sale even though that is not how he presented himself on the paperwork and that is not who I agreed to sell to.  The Mortgage company will not allow it.
Please Lord, let him back down on this point. We really need to be done with this house.
Say some prayers for me my digital friends.
*****The Mortgage Company/Bank has refused to sell the property to an LLC.*****
The Buyer is backing out.
We are fucked.
Thanks again Mortgage Company.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Baby Bump Frump

Hark back my dear digital readers to a time when Mrs. Nosey was the main thorn in my side. This post, little did I know at the time, would be the first time you’d meet Mrs. Mannerless full on.  Mrs. Mannerless was one of Mrs. Nosey’s victims in this post.   Mrs. Mannerless is the complete opposite from Mrs. Manners, let me tell you.  When Mrs. Mannerless started about a year ago she was one of the replacements for Crocs lady and Ms Snippy. At first we rejoiced that Crocs lady and Ms Snippy were gone! YAY!!! HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN!!! No more rudeness!!! No more complaining about stupid shit! Finally, the little things we do for others would be appreciated.
Um, yeah, NO. The first time I had any interaction with Mrs. Mannerless, was shortly after she started.  You would think that this would be the time to impress people right? First impressions and all? I should have known then. SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. I was expressing my displeasure to Mrs. Mannerless about a co-worker who had different standards for their own work related time lines than what they had for other people’s work related time lines.  Mrs. Mannerless proceeds to tell me that at her OLD job people would always make excuses for why their work wasn’t done. At this point in the conversation we were in complete agreement. She then continues to tell me how annoyed she would get that people complained about her and her lack of friendliness.
“They didn’t like me much over there.  They complained that I wasn’t nice enough to other people. I guess they wanted me to say ‘Hi how was your weekend? Can I have that report today?’ Instead of just telling them, 'I need the report!'  I don’t come to work to make friends; I come to work to WORK!!”
My mouth fell open, I can tell you that. I have very little interaction with Mrs. Mannerless, but I can tell you, she thinks she is never wrong, even though clearly she is. I had to turn a situation over to our Boss because Mrs. Mannerless refused, FLAT OUT REFUSED that the mistake was on her end. “I don’t know what to tell you, my stuff isn’t wrong.”  I don’t think I need to say, that, um, yeah, it was.

Anyway, Mrs. Mannerless and the other pregnant lady were both having issues with their pregnancies, and were due within days of each other. So we needed to have their baby showers ASAP. And because they were so close with their due dates, we decided it would be best to have a joint baby shower. We consulted both parties as to when would be a good time to throw this little shin-dig and the first lady responded with a short little e-mail giving us the dates available. Mrs. Mannerless gave us a detailed listing of why certain days would not work, or might work, but really she just wasn’t sure since she was SO BUSY and could deliver at any moment!  And oh, BTW, don’t buy me any 0-9 month clothing, because I received PLENTLY of those from my OTHER SHOWER. And would really like to have stuff from my Babies-R-Us* registry.

Well, Yes. Why thank you for being completely thorough.

We took time to go buy decorations for the shower, ordered a cake, bought food, even had games, the whole 9. I missed the actual shower because I had to leave to get insurance for my house.  Different story, I might tell you about it. Anyway, Mrs. Mannerless continued with her shower related shenagains  by complaining that her name was on the cake in PINK, and didn’t we know she was having a BOY? We were unaware what the other lady was having so we had the cake done in pink and blue. How were we to know that by not specifying the COLOR of the FROSTING on a CAKE, we would be offending someone?  We collected money for both ladies to purchase gift cards so that they may buy what they wanted/needed from their registry at Babies-R-Us*. I’m sure you will be completely shocked by the fact that Mrs. Mannerless garnered less monetarily than did the other lady. Mrs. Mannerless felt that we took the easy way out by getting said gift cards. She announced this feeling in front of 2 of her bosses and the other pregnant lady. During the party. Our Big Boss got up and left she was so disgusted by it. Needless to say those of us who planned said shower were greatly incensed upon hearing these complaints. I threatened to go take the lame gift card back from her and tell her that she gets nothing! How about nothing you ungrateful bitch!?!?!
So imagine, if you will our out and out rage and disgust upon further learning that Mrs. Mannerless was quite unhappy with having to share her baby shower with someone else.  An office mate with whom she openly discussed her pregnancy issues for nine months. And daycare needs. And god only knows what else.
I shared my office bridal shower with 2 other brides and 2 pregnant ladies. This is how it works in the office setting.  We come here to WORK after all, not socialize.


I hear HR is going to inform Mrs. Mannerless that is inappropriate to be an ungrateful, unsociable, unfriendly bitch.
Damn that she is already on maternity leave.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Change Day

So this is what happens in the Midwest when you go from 70 degrees and sunny one day to 55 cold, windy, rainy and the heat is out in the office.
Yes, those yellow things are baby chicks
And not that you care, but the heels are by Aerosoles, my most favorite brand in all the world.
SOCKS, with DRESS SHOES because the weather changed over night and I haven't had time to change my Wardrobe from "Summer" to "Winter". Also know as changing from "Open Toe" to "Closed Toe". Basically, I haven't washed my knee highs, or as the store calls them so you don't feel like your Grandma, "Trousers Socks" yet. Guess I'll have to dig them out of storage. Fun fun.

Some how I don't see my style making Big Mama's Fashion Friday edition any time soon.

Sell Already, PLEASE

I’ve told you about the Short Sale.  It is currently in a holding pattern because the Buyer sent back his “I swear I’m not going to flip this house” affidavit back without it being notarized.  Seriously, F and I don’t understand how the Mortgage company can make such demands of him, but whatevs, if he is willing to sign it, it is up to him either not do it, or do it and not get caught; and it is up to the Mortgage company to enforce it. Right? F and I are completely out of that part of the equation. FINE BY ME.  Our Attorney also keeps asking for the Buyer’s proof of funds, but I swear to you, it was sent. And I forwarded it to him AGAIN the other day. He even told me back when he first got it that he used it as an example in another short sale for the buyer there. I really don’t need the added stress that is swirling around right now.

If  THAT isn’t enough, said VACANT house seems to be living it up while I’m not there. Lights blazing, washer/dryer/dishwasher/fridge all partying it up because last month the electric bill was $190.00. ONE HUNDRED NINETY DOLLARS. For an empty house. HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?? That is $50 dollars MORE than what F and I are paying at a house we are living in, full time. With lights and cell phone charges and TVs and tons of other stuff running pretty much nonstop.  Look at the usage. “My” house: 1128 KWH. “Our” house? 741 KWH. With two people living in it. And a dog who listens to classical music while her owners are gone so she has less separation anxiety. And 2 tvs, and a fridge and microwave and well, you get the idea.
I just got off the phone with the Electric Company.  They are adjusting the bill, AGAIN. It was wrong last month too.  I think $88 bucks is a much more reasonable amount, don’t you? Let us hope we don’t have to go through this again next month, because seriously, I will go cut those lines myself.

Now I get to call the Gas Company.
Where’s the assistant who handles all this stuff?
Oh right, I’m not rich, so I have to do it myself.
Damn it.

Friday, October 07, 2011

OMG, Will it Make That Much Difference?

Sooooooooo, the Mortgage Company  has received our paperwork concerning the Short Sale. Remember the Buyer agreed to up his price to $32,500?  The Mortgage Company wants us to "counter with $35,000", because that extra $2,500 is going to make such a huge difference.  Seriously, I don't get it.  If they Fuck up this sale for $2,500 I am going to be extremely pissed and in need of very heavy amounts of medication.
What a crock of shit this whole process is. I had to fill out and sign an  affidavit that I am in financial trouble and I also have to fill out AGAIN my income stats AND supply bank records. Even though we filled all that crap out and supplied it to the attorney like 6 months ago. I'm pretty sure he turned that all in with our original paperwork.
I should have gone for a liquid lunch.