Monday, August 31, 2009

The French Do It

It was dark out, the rain was misting, I was tired, F was tired, but we still needed to load up some firewood for the camping trip. I slipped on F's tennis shoes and clomped out to the back yard to help. 10 mins later I was back in the kitchen finishing up "pre cooking" the bacon for the coming camp breakfast. It was hot inside the house, and I was glad I had changed into my "wife beater" and shorts earlier. But as hot as I was, something cold was on my leg. I did the "shake it off" leg jiggle, but that didn't help. I did a few more things in the kitchen and realized that the "cold" was moving on my leg. I looked down and saw a................snail, without the shell.

"Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Don't freak out." I told myself as I looked around the disaster area of a kitchen to find something to remove the snail with. I grabbed a used paper towel out of the trash can and plucked said snail from my calf.

Apparently instead of throwing it in the trash I should have rubbed it about my face and neck, who knew???

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Fort Knox: The Library of a Teenager

My 14yr old niece is heavily into the Twilight Series. Big shocker right? SES borrowed the books from her and having read them, told me how great they were and that I needed to read them too. Since I love to read, when the mood strikes, I figured what the heck? Maybe it would be a little Anne Rice lite kind of reading.
When I saw my niece recently I poised my query, “Hey, K, can I borrow your Twilight books?”
K without missing a beat: “I don’t lend those out anymore ever since my friend Nicole never gave me the one she borrowed back.”
Completely. Dead. Serious.
ES and I both gasped.
ES: “What? You won’t let your own AUNT borrow your books?”
Me: “Really! Geez.”
K: “Yes. Really.”
ES and I both laughed, “WOW.”
ES: “Dang, your Aunt is like 25 yrs older than your friend! And far more responsible! I can’t believe you said no!!”
Me: “No kidding.”
K: “I might reconsider.”

What the? Cold man. She was cold. And hardcore.
But I was also kind of proud of her. She stuck up for what is hers, and wasn’t going to be bullied.

K: “Ok, you can borrow them. But you better NOT WRECK THEM!!!”

Ok, so maybe it was more the guilt rather than bullying.

Me: “Thank you! I know how to treat books; I grew up in a library after all!”

I left their house without the books.

Or maybe, she just knows how to play the game.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Bad Combo

White Blouse + Bloody Nose = Tide Pen EMERGENCY!!!

I don't understand why the Tide Pen leaves that weird ring after it drys on some fabrics but not on others.

Design flaw.

But still better than a bloody stain on my blouse.

Monday, August 24, 2009

EPT, Not so 'E'

I was watching “I didn’t Know I was Pregnant” because YAY! We finally got cable back and I was flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch out of the 250 channels we have; plus Miss Molly had mentioned watching it and it peaked my interest( i think she did, can't find the post.). The show is truly amazing. How these women have little to no symptoms or weight gain, or any of the things a “normal” pregnancy would experience. Some of it, yeah I think is denial, none of them said the felt the baby move, how is that possible? And I totally felt for them when they went into labor unbeknownst to themselves. How much would you freak the hell out if you were having that kind of pain out of no where? I know I would. Anyway, I was flipping between that and another show when F comes up out of the basement.

F: “You know I’ve been listening to what you’re watching.”
Me: *dazed as I try to refocus my attention on him* “What??”
F: “This show you are watching, about the women.”
Me: *still dazed* “Yeah??”
F: “Are you trying to tell me something???”
Me: *pause* “wha? It’s just a show I’m watching.”
F: “You sure?”
Me: *SIGH*
F chuckles to himself as he turns and goes back down into the basement.

Now, really, would I watch a show about not knowing about being pregnant if I KNEW I was pregnant? (i am not pregnant, trust me on this one)

He seriously likes to just mess with me for the sake of messing with me.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


I'm having one of THOSE days where everything and everyone one is annoying me. I was out of the office for the afternoon yesterday and came back this morning to a note on my chair. I have no problem with the note on my chair, "Can we talk about this? Thanks B" attached to a work request. The work request is WRONG, as per usual from B. B seems to have problems following directions. And no matter how many times I walk B through the process, it is still wrong. Knowing that my irritation with B was due in part to simply ME, I decided I would wait to go talk to B until I'm come down off the irritation interstate. B however decided that "talking about it" was no longer up to me and pops into my office.
"HEY!!!!!!! You get my note??????!!!!!"
(uh no, is that what this extra padding on my chair is??? your note???)
"Yep, but I'm in the middle of something else right now."
"Oh. Well, when you get a chance, come see me."
(not if i don't have to!)
"Yeah, ok."

Why do people assume that because you leave a note to come see you, it is implied that is HAS to been immediately??? The note did not say ASAP!!! or SOON!!! MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH!!!
You have put the ball in my court and when I am ready to serve it back to you, trust me, you'll know. Next time, don't leave a note. If you must talk to me, then wait, and HAND it to me. With a, "I think we need to go over this." Which will be received much better. No matter how my day is going.

But for now, GO AWAY!

Monday, August 17, 2009

An Open Letter to AmEx

Dear American Express:
Until recently, I never counted myself as one of you card holders. When F and I joined Costco*, part of the deal was getting one of your cards. Since AmEx is the ONLY credit card Costco* will accept. Not too long ago you sent F (the account is in his name) a letter stating that due to the current economic climate, you were reducing our credit limit. In your letter you stated that if we wrote and asked you the reasoning behind why you did this, you would tell us. So I hopped on my computer and fired off a short letter requesting this information. In my rush, I transposed our house number. You sent a letter, to the “new” address, which happened to be our neighbor, confirming the “address change” on the Costco AmEx, but wanted to know if we would also like to “change the address” on the “Blue” AmEx. With absolutely NO mention of the actual reason of my letter, the credit line reduction.
Since the 30day window to obtain this information had passed, I filled out the “change of address” box on the next bill and sent it back. I am still waiting to receive a letter confirming the “address change” back to what it was originally.
During this waiting period we receive two identical letters concerning each AmEx card telling us, that once again, due to the “economic climate” you are INCREASING the APR.
I can’t help but see a pattern here concerning your reasoning skills. First, you seem to lack attention to detail. I write you a letter requesting information, and you change my address. You are quick enough (not really) to notice that we have 2 cards with you and want to know if the address for the second card needs to be changed. But you are NOT quick enough to send us ONE copy of a letter increasing our APR. I can see now where that increase is being put to use, mailing and printing costs.
Second, your reasoning behind increasing the APR seems to be decidedly short sighted. It is quite clear across the nation that people are losing jobs, homes, and are barely scraping by, but you decide now, NOW would be an EXCELLENT time to charge these same people more money. I feel it is my duty to point out the obvious, that these people do not have extra money to cover your increased APR.
I can see that I should have stuck with my past avoidance of you. My knowledge of you then was that you charged people a yearly fee for the privilege of paying off their card each month which, contrary to your marketing hype, is not accepted everywhere, and it IS best to leave home without it.
Consider this my first notice that once these cards are paid off, we will in fact be cancelling them. Because I’m sure you’ll take this to mean we want ANOTHER card with you and hence I’ll end up having to cancel 3 cards instead of just 2.

*Costco??? Get your head out of your ass and come to the realization that AmEx has got you (and your customers) over a barrel and they are all out of Vaseline.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Me chatting with my Mom did NOT put your Life in Danger

To the snarky lady who was purposely overtly loud in her query to the gas attendant at Costco the other night about whether or not you are allowed to use your cell phone while pumping gas, as you were eyeing me as I talked to my mom, YES, yes you are allowed. As the attendant, equally loudly answered, "There is NO law against it."as he stood and watched me like I was about to drive off without paying(which you can't do, since you have to pay first).
There is also no danger in doing it.
Brush up on your urban legends missy,
Plus there was no sign posted telling you to not use your cell while pumping. If there had been, I would have hung up. Just like I make F turn the car off before pumping, because "they" say so.
One other thing, dancing about 3 to 4 feet away while waiting for your gas to pump, is NOT going to save your life in case me and my evil cell phone conversation with my mom goes array and ends up igniting the Costco gas station in an apocalyptic fire ball.
So THERE! nah!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I'm not Techie

I got the e-mail below. Has anyone heard of these people? Is this something I should do? Anyone?

Hello.This is Howard from, a new real-time search engine dedicated for fast feed discovery. I am writing to invite you to submit a short informative description about the feed you publish at .At feedmil, we provide not only feed search but also individual feed pages so that users can conveniently examine more details about a feed before they decide whether or not to subscribe to it. For instance, your feed page at feedmil can be found at [redacted]. Description about your feed in your own words will be listed under the section titled "Words from the Author(s)" of your feed page at feedmil, and we believe that it will help your potential subscribers better understand what your feed is mainly about and what kind of feedback you want, possibly increasing the number of subscribers to your feed.You can send me any content you like to be displayed under "Words from the Author(s)" for your feed by replying to this email, and any kind of additional materials in the form of attachments in the reply email would be welcome as well.I sincerely thank you for all the great content you publish, which makes the service like ours possible. Your attention would be highly appreciated.
Best wishes,
Howard The Feedmil Team

Monday, August 10, 2009

Monkey in the Middle

Before F arrived on the scene it was just me. Just me and my family. I may have been the go-between, between siblings, but it was rare. Now? Now I find myself caught in the middle often. A sibling will do something that negatively(perceived) affects F and I, and F will go into a tailspin of anger. Over the last few months he has been butting heads with SES. He does not let these "slights" go easily. He will fume about her and the "incident" and I will be caught in the middle defending her to him, or defending him to her. I do not like discord amongst those that I love.
I suppose before F arrived on the scene if there was discord among the family I tended not to notice. Assuming that everything was fine, and everyone got along fine. Once F arrived, my eyes were opened, I guess you could say, or people became more open, and I began to see that everything is not fine, and everyone does not get along.

I do not know what to do about being the monkey in the middle. Be it between F and the sibs or the sibs themselves. I am very concerned about how everyone perceives each other. Does SES think F is a lying loud mouth ass? Does F think SES is a nosey bitch (pretty much, yeah)?
I feel like I have to choose a side. But I can't because that is never a good idea. Someone always ends up hurt. And ususally, both sides have valid points.
How do you, my digital friends handle these kind of conflicts? Because right now, I just want to go home and mix myself a VERY large adult beverage and watch hours and hours of Clean House and Say YES to the DRESS! and pretend that a pretty dress and a shiny new kitchen will make everything all better.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Pants and Protest

Cops beat women protesting Sudan trouser ban

Group supporting female journalist arrested for wearing trousers in public

Sudanese journalist Lubna Hussein, right, who faces 40 lashes on the charge of "indecent dressing," flashes a victory sign to her supporters as she enters the court in Khartoum on Tuesday. She is going on trial for wearing trousers in public, a violation of the country's strict Islamic laws.

Can I just tell you, that as I read this article, I was upset. Granted, I do not understand this, fear? of women wearing slacks, pants, trousers, whatever you may call them. I do understand that not long ago women did not wear "trousers" in the USA. And we've moved past this. I do understand that there are still some places where the dress code requires women to continue to adhere to this thought pattern. Dressing in this manner however is a matter of personal choice. You do not have to work at the place that requires you to wear a skirt and pantyhose. You can choose a religion that allows you to dress as you please. I know a woman, whom I in fact just reconnected with via FB, whose religion mandates that females wear skirts and/or dresses when out in public. She wore a skirt to school EVERY SINGLE DAY. She explained that in her version of the Bible (yes there are different versions, something I didn't know until like my late teens) it says that men and women are to dress differently. I don't remember all the logic behind it, but it made sense at the time. Especially since she stressed it was a choice to follow that dress code. But outside of that, No one is going to arrest you for wearing "trousers" in public. If this were the case, I would be flogged on a daily basis. I own exactly 3 skirts, and 4 dresses. I have never been much of a skirt/dress wearer. Even as a child. In fact, now that I think about it, neither of my sisters are skirt wearers, even though our mother, who is of the skirt & pantyhose era, is very much a skirt/dress wearer. I own at least 10 pairs of jeans, and 9 pairs of dress pants that I wear to work each week. Not all at once of course. I do not feel that because I wear "trousers" that I am less feminine. Wearing trousers does not change the fact that I am a female. That is all DNA, something I can not change. Wearing "trousers" can not now, nor will it ever, change that fact. When there are people in great need of food and clean water and proper housing and health care**, I find it extremely distressing that a government chooses to put resources into policing a dress code("public order police") instead of helping its people. I do not believe I will ever understand the oppression of woman based in religion which is then made into law. Every time I see an article like this I can't help but ask myself, "Why are they afraid of their women???"
Ignorance on my part, perhaps. If someone can explain it to me, I ask that you do. Politely of course. You can maybe make me understand, but you can never convince me.

**I do realize the US is not anywhere near blameless where any of these things are concerned. And I know we, as a nation, need to fix our own problems.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Deadly Habit

Turkey's Smoking Ban Takes a Hit
Enraged at having his cigarettes confiscated, a customer killed a restaurant owner in southwest Turkey. It's the first—and hopefully last—such casualty since a ban on smoking in bars and restaurants took effect. The Turks are heavy smokers, but similar bans have worked in places like Paris.

That is crazy insane!!! People have no self control anymore. It's a pack of cigs for pete's sake! Was it really worth the loss of a life and your own personal freedom?????
God help us all.

Monday, August 03, 2009


That dinner F was going to make from Pioneer Woman via Pastor Ryan?? OMG, OMG!!!!! I had seconds!! He undercooked the pasta a little, F does not deviate from the recipe so when it said not to cook the pasta more than 5 mins, he didn't, even though it CLEARLY was not done. However, Bacon and Pasta?? My new love!!! Holy cow. After eating the just as yummy if not more so leftovers for lunch F tells me his plans for the "next time" he makes the dish: "I think next time, instead of the bacon, I'll use CHICKEN! (omg, why? i loves the bacon! i'm sure the chicken will be fine too though.) And less of the Parmesan cheese. It was too much. (uh, there's NEVER too much CHEESE! fewer onion, yes, but not the cheese!)
Days later and he is STILL patting himself on the back for this dish. It was good, very good. Now I want some, dang it! I don't dare ask for it though, because I'll never hear the end of it from Chef F.