Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Did I not predict this? She’s picking out our good china!?!?!!?!?
“No, NO, NOOOOOO!!!!! “ is what I said to F.
“I told her no. I said you’d go looking with her when we come back next month.”
“WHAT!!!! No NO NOOOOO!!!! I’m not ready to go looking! Jesus! I want to go looking with MY OWN MOTHER!”
He was silent, taken aback by my strong reaction. All my life I listened to my mother complain about her MIL and how often she crossed the line with butting into our lives, telling her how to raise us and what-not. Then as I got older and my friends started to get married I started hearing their horror stories about their MILs butting in and I decided, that if I ever got married, that my MIL would know there would be NO line crossing. My domain is mine, not hers. Stay out!
When we packed the car to come back home we left with a comforter, a frying pan big enough to fry a small child, a cake stand without a lid (“What good is it without a lid?” said Eldest sister when I told her.) a metal fruit dish and 2 sets of bath towels for “company”.
As MIL is loading me up with all these “goodies” she informs me that she buys everything in twos, one for SIL and one, for me.
I wonder how much it would cost to drive a U-Haul over 500 miles?
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Things FIL (father-in-law) said during our visit back East…..
- To F’s mother: “Why is the baby still sleeping? .....Why can’t I wake him up?”
- To F’s mother after coming home from work: “Do you have any food? I’m hungry!” (no hi honey, no, I’m home! Nothing pleasant at all.)
- To me while discussing the eating issues caused by not having a gall bladder (with F’s mother, NOT FIL) “You can’t eat fat! Didn’t they tell you not to eat FAT!?!?!?!”
- To F’s mother about taking the sick baby shopping with us: “You’re going to take the baby out with you in the cold? He’s sick!” “You’re taking too long to get ready. You’re going to be late picking up C from day care. You’d better not be late!” (Notice, no offer to watch the sick baby, OR to pick up C from daycare. Needless to say, we took a sick 1yr old and a hungry, tired 6yr old shopping at the mall with us.)
- To all of us while we were sitting at the dinner table waiting for him: “I’ll sit down when the food is on the table!”
- To F when F tried to serve him by putting food on his plate(we were doing ‘pass your plate’ to make sure everyone got HOT food) “NO! I’ll fill my OWN plate with food. THANK YOU!!!!”
- And the best for last. To F while discussing their side of the wedding list: “…..I don’t care how much it costs you!! $50, $60, $70 or $80!!!!! WHAT makes YOU think ANYONE wants to come to YOUR DAMN WEDDING ANYWAY?!?!?!?!?!?”
And people wonder why I always get sick when after we've been there. This time? Bronchitis.
The baby had Pneumonia or as MIL(mother-in-law) told us, "No no, it's not pneumonia, it's just an ear infection." as the baby coughed that wet nasty mucusy cough.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Um? Sorry? Really? People I don’t know from Adam (yes I sometimes talk like a 90yr old) would actually ask me if I’m living in sin? And you want me to PRETEND I didn’t hear them? Surely, you jest? So of course, all this morning I’ve been running in my head things I could say that would let them know they are crossing the line with the American Girl. And of course, I’ve also been practicing the tone of voice in which to say it as well. Because as my mother always told me, “It’s not WHAT you say. It’s HOW you say it.” And really, ladies, we all know this, right? (insert your ME-OW here).
- Polite smile, slightly condescending tone, “Why do you ask?”
- Puzzled look, bewildered tone, “Who are you?” Their answer. Another bewildered tone, “Hmmmmmm, well I don’t really see how that is any of your business?”
- Polite smile, pat on the arm, slightly condescending tone, “In this matter, you need not concern yourself.”
Or am I going about this completely wrong? Should I follow his advice and ignore them? And what happens if they go even further and start asking when we’ll be having kids?
- Horrified look, “Don’t you think we should get MARRIED First? I mean, that’s how it works where I come from!”
- Polite smile, “Well, we’re not planning on having any kids until those that keep asking us are willing to be financially responsible for them. How much can I put you down for?”
- Puzzled look, “Are you asking me about my ovulation cycle?”
- Completely serious look, “Not until we can find a proper surrogate. I don’t need to be bothered with all that pregnancy stuff.” Look them up and down, “Are you offering us your uterus?”
What do you think? How would you/have you handled these situations?
Monday, November 05, 2007
This isn’t the first time she’s called attention to something like that. She’s done it to me too, when I was going through my red phase. She told me my hair looked plum, like hers. She's also pointed at a PMS induced breakout on my face and said in front of people, at a meeting, "What's that???" She’s also asked a co-worker if she would jump if she pinched her butt. She’s also the one in this story, about walkers and common stall "#2"ers.
This is what I spend my days with. And F wonders why I drink.
Friday, November 02, 2007
That’s not going to happen anytime soon. Especially with the trip back East to contend with soon. How can I sleep knowing his mother is in the kitchen, making us breakfast? Talking about me in the Homeland language? His father’s dislike of me speaking volumes, while he actually says nothing to me, at all. How can I not be stressed? I’m taking an extra day off to recover from it all. I need a drink just thinking about it.
On a brighter note my Eldest sister and her husband have finally gotten it through their heads that F and I are trying to do the wedding on a tight budget. They offered to pay for the cake.
But still stressed out.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Last night as F and I were passing out candy there was lull in the kids, so we were chatting about different things.
He turns to me and says, "Next year we probably won't be here to pass out candy."
"What? Why not?!?!?!?"
He just stared at me for a good 2 minutes before it dawned on me, "OOOOOOOOH! Yeah, right!!!" He rolled his eyes as I giggled and made him kiss me.
In case you're as clueless as I am, we'll be on our HONEYMOON. Because we'll have just gotten, MARRIED. 7 days before. Yeah. Right. DUH.