Thursday, August 30, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
To top things off, F, after having met one of the sibling's friends who'd made a very expensive purchase on the way to a party, is now bemoaning where we are financially. He feels we should be able to travel and buy toys at whim as do "so many others". I fear, and rightly so, that F will insist on moving back East so that his Best Friend can show him the ins and outs of being a slum lord. Best Friend is a nice enough fellow, although he has tendency towards assiness. It is this assiness that I fear F may find to once again be a wondrous way of life thus letting Best Friend influence him in ways, I feel, have long ago been out grown. Best Friend has a great deal of influence on F as it is, from thousands of miles away. (Side note here, Best Friend is the one who had the amazing wedding back East only to have said marriage fall apart before he left to serve his country overseas.) (Extra side note: I am deathly afraid that Best Friend will bring one of his skanky new My Space loves to our wedding and recreate some of the seedy scenes from his wedding.) I know money is tight, and yes, I wish we could come and go as we please, but I'm not about to sit around and be depressed about it. Which is where I think F is headed. That, and back East, which is closer to the Family and THAT is so not where I want to be. Best Friend told F he wants him back East "At any cost." Me included apparently. Ok, maybe Best Friend isn't such a nice fellow.
Tell me people, how do you curb the influence someone has over someone else?
Thursday, August 23, 2007
I thought I was doing pretty well. If Bride-to-Be were a class, I’d surely be earning at least a B+, if not an A. I mean, it’s eleven months from our wedding and already M and I have secured the church, the reception site, the registry, the bridal party and the band. Not bad, right? I mean, I should probably start thinking more seriously about dresses and we do have to get all that stuff to the church that we’ve been too lazy to compile and my diet has been more like a non-diet and damn it I had an egg and cheese sandwich for breakfast today, but hey. All in all, I’m proud of us. Or, at least I was. Then I talked to M’s friend from college, Emma, who is getting married a month after us. Emma not only has everything that we have but she also has her dress, and her invitations, and her bridesmaids dresses and her florist and an appointment for her first hair trial in just a few weeks. But that’s not even the most disturbing part. I mean, some people are overachievers and I’m okay with not being one. (Besides, the overachievers never had dates in high school.) The most disturbing part is that, in order to get in shape for her wedding (please note: this woman is a size two, on a fat day), Emma wakes up at four thirty in the morning to go to the gym. That’s 4:30. A.M.
Ok, yeah, 4:30? AM?? As I commented on her post, not even for SEX. I mean, seriously? I think the last time I got up at that hour was to go to Boston, so that was for a flight for a girls' mini-break. Well worth it. Yay Boston and your cider having ON TAP selves! And working out? Um, not so much. I am not a working out kind of gal. I try to workout, but there is always some reason I quit. Mostly because, it's WORK. I YEARN for those days as a kid on the play ground when playing POOP DECK was a BLAST. Now I think about doing that, and I have to sit down. Everyone kept telling me how getting married is the great workout motivator. Not seeing it. I think I brought salad to work for a week, and then I had McDonald's. And a sub, and pizza.(NOT all on the same day.) And don't go thinking, Oh please, you one of those skinny girls that always complain about eating half of a mini muffin? I am so far from that category, trust me. I am well acquainted with Lane Bryant.
I also want F involved in the process. As I told him(through tears of course, see link to above post) I need him there to keep me sane. He however? totally laid back about the whole thing. Am I defective because all the flash and sparkle about planning my wedding has totally worn off? Am I a freak for wanting it just be DONE ALREADY? Can I take the male point of view and Just Show Up and it's all done and ready to go?????
I need some girl power or something, SERIOUSLY.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
"Are you going to tell me what is wrong?"
"Do you REALLY want to talk about this right now?"
"That's up to you." That response? Made me hit the roof. Fucking play passive aggressive with me! We proceeded to have a fight about something rather stupid, but it was soooo important at the time. Afterwards I was so upset I couldn't concentrate on finishing my journal entry because I was trying not to cry. The lights went out and our backs were facing each other.
"Are you crying?" came out of the dark from the other side of the king sized bed.
"What? are you crying?"
"Then why are you sniffling?" Sometimes he can be so in tune to what is going on with me, and other times.............
"because I'm trying not to cry."
"come here." he said as he lifted the covers so I could snuggle into his arms. And the dam broke and all the fears I'd had came flooding out. "Are you scared?" he asked me.
I decided to tell the truth. "Yes."
He confessed, he was scared too. We talked for awhile longer, and then we fell asleep.
For the record, I hate crying. Lately however, it seems that's all I do. We fight, I cry, I feel better, for about a week. I honestly thought women were crazy when they said planning a wedding is seriously intense shit. Now? Not so much.
Next problem? I've become addicted, ADDICTED to McDonald's McGriddles. When they first hit the scene, I thought, EW! Now, I can't get enough of #9 with an OJ PLEASE! And sadly, as with McDonald's in general, I pass like 200 hundred on my way to work every morning. It'd be easier to avoid if they weren't EVERYWHERE. Bridal body? Not doing so well.
But, wait, there's more. Now that the venue has been secured(Thanks Mom!!!) I've become complacent. In the beginning of Wedding 2008, I was all, I MUST GET EVERYTHING DONE RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!!! And everyone kept telling me, "OH! You've got LOOOOOOOADS of time!!!" So? Now? I've got LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOADS of time! I've done NOTHING ELSE. No flowers, no invites, no favors. NADA. I swear, I'm going to end up on Bridellza's despite my efforts to stay far far away from such behavior. And I'll be the second bride who get's left at the alter.